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Anyone who lives alone and manifests no longing to be in a relationship,
is in our times, almost automatically, more or less secretly,
viewed as both pitiable and deeply troubled.
It's simply not thought possible to be at once, alone and normal.
This sets us up for collective catastrophe,
because it means that a huge number of people,
who have no innate wish to live with anyone else,
and are at heart deeply ill-suited to doing so
are every year press-ganged and shamed into conjugal life
with disastrous results for all involved.
Only once singlehood has completely equal prestige with its alternative
can we ensure that people will be free in their choices
and hence join couples for the right reasons;
because they love another person,
rather than because they are terrified of remaining single.
Here, then, are a few of the many good reasons to spend your life alone:
1. Because romantic love is a dangerous illusion.
We should recognize that romantic love
the idea of being deeply enamored of one special partner over a whole lifetime,
is a very new, ambitious and really pretty odd concept, at best 250 years old.
From close-up, over long periods of time,
almost everyone is condemned to be pretty dispiriting and difficult
A good romantic marriage is evidently theoretically possible,
but it's also be extremely unlikely in practice,
which should make any failure feel a good deal less shameful.
2. No one thinks their partner is terrific - After a while.
Those among us who chose to stay single should not be thought un-romantic.
Indeed, we may be among the very most romantic of all,
because it is in the end the fervent romantics
who should be especially careful of ending up in mediocre relationships:
relationships best suit the kind of people
who don't actually expect too much from them.
3. We aren't sane enough to be in relationships.
Though it is a sign of some maturity to know how to love and live alongside someone,
it is actually a sign of even greater maturity
to recognise that this is something one isn't in the end gonna be psychologically capable of,
as a good portion of us simply are not.
Retiring oneself voluntarily,
in order to save others (and oneself)
from the consequences of one's own inner emotional turmoil
is the true sign of a great and kind soul.
4. Being alone means not inflicting yourself on others.
It spares you from constant reminders of how difficult and strange you are.
No one is there to hold a mirror up – record your antics
and constantly make you accountable for them.
If you're lucky, you will be able to tolerate and even like yourself if you are on your own.
5. Relationships spoil love.
It may be better to feel alone and be denied sex outside of a relationship
than inside one.
One thing the single are never denied,
is hope.
All this isn't to say that being alone is without problems.
There are of course drawbacks to both states,
being single and being in a couple:
loneliness in the one;
suffocation, anger and frustration in the other.
The truth is, we're simply not terribly good at being happy whatever our relationship status,
which is ultimately an argument for neither rushing too fast into a couple
nor rushing too fast out of one.
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人生課題:為什麼有時單身是比較好的選擇? (Reasons to Remain Single)

84730 分類 收藏
VoiceTube 發佈於 2017 年 7 月 7 日   emily 翻譯   missnerdypants 審核

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單身是一個值得細細品味的暫時性狀態,而不是避之唯恐不及的罪惡!
戀愛固然美好,但也需承受爭吵、忌妒、猜疑。
單身少了牽絆,可以完成許多夢想中的藍圖。
你,在單身時有真正去享受單身的生活,有愛上單身時的自己嗎?

1long to0:03
long 在這裡是動詞,意思是「渴望」,用來形容很難達成的願望、目標。long 作為動詞通常有兩種用法,當我們表示渴望獲得某個東西、資源,可以是實體的,也可能是抽象的,會用 「long for + 名詞」;若要表達渴望去做什麼或去達成某項目標,則會使用「long to + 動詞」,而 longing 本身也能當作名詞使用哦!
The refugees long for peace and security.
難民們渴望和平與安全。

The man is longing to return home after leaving without a proper goodbye 9 years ago.
在九年前的不告而別之後,男人想回家了。

Syrian children were filled with deep longings for peace.
敘利亞的孩子心中充滿著對和平的深切渴望。


*同場加映:
【TED】對這些女性而言,讀書是種大膽的行為 Laura Boushnak: For these women, reading is a daring act


2at heart  0:25
at heart 的意思是「發自內心、內心深處」,也因此引申出「本質上、骨子裡」的含意。
He has your best interests at heart.
他心裡處處為你著想。

His manners are rough, but he is a kind man at heart.
他的行為粗魯,但本質上是個好人。


一起來看看其他有關 heart 的常見片語吧!

from the bottom of one's heart  就如同字面上「打從心底、衷心地」的意思,也可以更簡短地說 from my heart
I thank you all from the bottom of my heart.
我打從心底感謝各位。


learn / know … by heart 「背誦、牢記」,可以想像成字面上「用心」去記的意思。
I'm trying to learn these new English words and phrases by heart.
我正試著記熟這些新的英文單字和片語。


lose heart「灰心、氣餒」
lose one’s heart to sb.「喜歡上、傾心於(某人)」
這組片語是不是長的超級像啊?但差了一個所有格代名詞意思就完全不一樣囉!
Don't lose heart ! Keep trying, I believe you can do it.
別灰心,繼續加油,我相信你可以做到的!

He lost his heart to Claire as soon as he saw her dancing.
看到克萊兒跳舞的當下,他就愛上她了。


3evidently 1:23
evidently 意思是「明顯地、顯然地」,是從它的名詞 evidence 衍伸而來,evidence 的意思是「證據、根據」,所以不難聯想 evidently 就是指事情因為已經有證據擺在眼前,所以顯然易見。但在英文中,你知道「明顯地」其實還有其他的說法嗎?雖然字面上的意思差不多,但它們依然有著些微不同的含義哦!

evidently 用來形容已經有依據、證據佐證的事情,所以是較為確定的。
The revenue of this quarter has been evidently declining.
這一季的營收明顯地減少。


這句話暗示有上一季營收作為依據,相比之下,這一季營收確顯然比較少!

apparently 通常是指說話的人自己主觀的推測,可能是從其他面向觀察之後做出的判斷,所以推論成分較高。例如朋友昨天跟你說她肚子痛,今天一大早就請假沒來學校,這時候你就可以說:
Apparently, Amy is absent due to her illness.
顯然地,Amy缺席是因為她身體不適。


但事實上你並不知道她請假的真正原因,也有可能不是因為身體不舒服!

obviously 蠻常在生活中聽到,有「這明顯到任何人都看得出來」的肯定意味,甚至帶有一點嘲諷的語氣,暗示你「 這麼明顯怎麼會看不出來?」                                                
Look at the way she talks. She is obviously lying.  
看看她說話的樣子,她很明顯是在說謊。


不僅僅是我個人打從心底這樣覺得,而是明顯到任何一個人都看得出來她在騙人!

*同場加映:
【時事英文】巴拿馬文件有多重要? (What Are The Panama Papers?)


4make/hold … accountable for …  2:45
make/hold … accountable for... 的意思是「使某人為...負起責任」,和 to blame someone for….、 make someone responsible for...等片語意思相似。accountable 本身是形容詞,指「負有責任的、應該負責的」。                                                                     
The math teacher made Jason accountable for cheating in the test.
數學老師讓 Jason 為考試作弊負起責任。


*同場加映:
【科學面面觀】如果你停止吃東西會變怎樣呢?What If You Stopped Eating?


5drawback 3:11
drawback 的意思是「缺點」,你可能有聽過許多同樣代表「缺點」的英文單字,雖然看起來意思都很類似,但其實在不同的情境下會使用不同的單字哦!

drawback 通常形容一件事情的不利條件、障礙、缺點,會讓我們因為這個缺點而感到排斥或退縮。後面會接 to sth. 來表示「是什麼東西的缺點」。
The only drawback to this plan is its expense.
這項計畫的唯一缺點是其經費問題。


weakness 則是形容一個人性格上的弱點、缺陷、罩門,例如面試常見問題「你最大的缺點是什麼?」"What's your greatest weakness?" 這裡的缺點就會用 weakness 哦!
Judy's biggest weakness is being timid and having a fear of speaking in front of people.
Judy 最大的弱點是很膽小且不敢在人群面前說話。


disadvantage 的意思和 drawback 差不多,指事物的不利條件、情況,會導致某種損害或妨礙達成某一目標,後面會接 of sth.,最常用來列舉並比較一件事情或商品有哪些優缺點,例如:"The advantages and the disadvantages of something are …"。
One of the disadvantages of the overflow of freedom of speech is cyber violence.
言論自由氾濫的缺點之一是網路暴力。


defect 主要用來描述產品品質上的瑕疵、缺陷。它的形容詞是defective,因此所謂的「瑕疵品」就叫做 defective product
Lots of customers have filed complaints about the new product defects.
許多顧客投訴新產品有瑕疵。


我們常常聽到單身的人不談戀愛,是因為害怕走入婚姻,而已婚的人,卻又反過來懷念一個人的日子。戀愛也好,單身也罷,只要忠於自己的內心,快樂和幸福由我們自己定義!

文/ Ann Lu

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