-Sheesh, Mister.

Aren't you going to do anything?

-Why?

What's the point?

Violence never solves anything.

Plus, confrontation makes me urinate.

-No, it doesn't.

-Yes, it does.

-No, it doesn't.

-Yes, it does.

-My take is, sometimes you just gotta fight.

-But why?

Dr. King, Gandhi, Mandela, Mother Teresa, Nelson Eddy,

the Dalai Lama, Mohammad, Ralph Abernathy.

I mean, these are examples of inspiring people who didn't

believe in violence.

-I bet you don't believe in the death penalty either.

-Yes.

It's cruel.

And a life sentence in jail costs more.

-So rapists and murderers deserve three hot meals a day?

-Oh my god.

You know what?

I disagree with you so much, but your

passion is killing me.

I don't know whether to rip your head off or

make love to you.

-(WHISPERING) Guns don't kill people.

People kill people.

(WHISPERING) But mommies are people.

People with children.

Busy with children, and--

BIG JOCK (OFFSCREEN): Bitch.

-Man's natural state is violence.

-Hello, evolve.

We have to rise above our baser instincts.

We're intelligent beings, for god's sake.

You want higher beings, go toke a doob.

My name's Cheryl, by the way.

-I'm David.

Nnnghh!

-Oh!

[ALARM BUZZES]

-And furthermore, perhaps you've heard of a little event

called 9/11.

What the world needs now is tough

guys, not hippy percents.

[COUGH]

-Excuse me for being old-fashioned, but I believe

in love, not war.

-[COUGH]

-I believe in the power of peace--

-[CHOKE]

-And nonviolent protest.

[COUGH]

-We should have used sanctions in Iraq.

-So--

[INAUDIBLE]

-[CHOKE]

[COUGH]

-What's the matter, baby?

Help me smoke this lid of grass.

It's really good.

-[CHOKING]

-[WOLF WHISTLE]

-Yeahhh.

-[WHISTLE]

-What about John Lennon?

Harriet Tubman?

Rosa Parks?

-Shhh.

Those guys don't work here.

-I know they don't work here.

They're famous historical figures who've advocated--

-No.

Those yard guys, Those poor-looking immigrant types

over there.

I've never seen them here before.

-I'm sure they're fine.

I mean--

ORTEZ (OFFSCREEN, IN LATIN ACCENT): I don't mind getting

my hands dirty for the right price.

My name is Ortez.

The boss.

And my employees and I are here to make sure your bush

gets well trimmed.

It's time to fertilize the flower bed so the nitrates can

be absorbed.

-Ngh!

-Ah!

-Ah!

-Aaah!

Guess it's time to gas up my penis to mow into your mouth.

-Jefe.

[SPEAKING SPANISH]

[WINDCHIMES]

FEMALE SPEAKER (OFFSCREEN): Who wants treats, kids?

Ice cream for you, cookies for you, and for my son David, you

get some ketchup because you're a sissy.

[THUNDERCLAP]

[DISSONANT PIANO KEYS]

[DEATH METAL MUSIC PLAYS]

-Huh!

Huh!

Huh!

Huh!

Ha-jah!

Huh!

-Oh, mi ear-o!

-Hnh!

Huh!

-Ahhh.

-You!

-[SCREAMS IN AGONY]

[SCREAMS IN HORROR]

-Aggghhngh!

[EVIL LAUGH]

-What do you think about this, huh?

BIG JOCK (OFFSCREEN): It's a beach, not a bitch, bitch.