Are you ready, kids?

準備好了嗎，屁孩們？

(kids) Aye, aye, captain!

(屁孩們) 是的，船長！

I can't hear youuuuu!

太小聲囉！

(kids) Open your ears, captain!

(孩子們) 你是耳包啊，船長？

♪ Ooooh ♪

喔~

Who lives by the sink washing dishes all day?

是誰住在洗手臺邊，還整天洗碗？

Sponge rob bare ass!!!

光溜溜海綿強盜！！！

He doesn't have pants, it takes too long to make

他連褲子都沒穿，因為做一件好浪費時間

Sponge rob bare ass!!!

光溜溜海綿強盜！！！

Who's gonna get busted for using this song?

誰偷用這首歌當主題曲，被逮個正著？

Sponge rob bare ass!!!

光溜溜海綿強盜！！！

I probably should end it before it's too long

我想我該趕快結束，才不會歹戲愛拖棚

Sponge rob bare ass!!! Ready?

光溜溜海綿強盜！！！準備好了嗎？

It's sponge rob bare ass!!! Not spongebob square pants

是光溜溜海綿強盜！！！不是穿著四方褲的海綿寶寶

So please don't sue us for...

所以拜託別告我們...

♪ For Copyright Infringement ♪

侵害卡通版權

(goofy chuckle)

(白痴笑聲)

(seagulls squawk)

(海鷗嘎嘎叫聲)

(French accent) Ah, ze kitchen counter. Home to many inanimate objects

(法國腔英文) 啊，煮房滴流理臺，速許多沒生命物品滴家

such as Spongerob Bareass.

好比說，光溜溜海綿強盜

(annoying laugh) Good morning, kitchen counter!

(吵死人的笑聲) 歐嗨唷，廚房流理臺！

Good morning, Spongebob.

你早啊，海綿寶寶

(gasps) Patdick, you're not supposed to call me that, remember?

(吸氣) 拍下體，你不應該那樣叫我的，你都忘了喔？

What? Why not?

蛤？為什麼不行？

I told you already.

我早就告訴你了

We're based off of a cartoon and that cartoon is copyrighted,

我們劇本是根據一部有版權保護的卡通編寫而成的

so we have to change things.

所以裡面內容要有所更改

But I'm left handed.

可我是左撇子耶

Can I copy it with my left hand?

那我可以用左手來抄襲而不犯法嗎？

Huh, that is a good point.

呃，這麼說好像也對啦

I suppose the show isn't "copylefted".

因為這樣的話就不會違反「反著作權法」 (譯註: copyleft是一種利用現有著作權(copyright)體制來挑戰該體制的授權方式)

Right? (annoying laugh)

是吧？(吵死人的笑聲)

(joins in)

(拍下體一起大笑)

Will you two shut up?!

你們兩個白痴能不能閉嘴？！

Hey, look, it's Squidturd.

嘿，你看，是章魚屎

Can you please keep it down?

你們笑的時候能不能小聲點？

Your laughter is driving me insane!

你們的笑聲弄得快讓我發瘋了！

- But, Squidturd-- - And stop calling me that!

-可..章魚屎... -別再那樣叫我了

Don't you know that laughter's the best medicine?

你難道不知道笑是最好的良藥嗎？

Well, I'm not sick.

拜託，我又沒生病

It's not just for sickness. It's also for pain.

那不只對生病很有效，也對心裡的煩惱有用

The only pain I have is listening to you two laugh all day.

我唯一的煩惱就是聽你們兩個笑一整天

I think you just need to learn what it really means to laugh,

我真覺得你該透過唱歌的方式來了解到

in the form of a song.

笑對你是多麼的重要

Please, don't.

拜託，別

"L" is for lemonade, you make when you laugh too much

L是檸檬汁，你笑太多的時候就會擠出檸檬汁

"A" is for the asian eyes you make, "U" is for ugly, loud...spit releasing, open mouth, and "F" is the last letter

A則是你笑的時候出現的單眼皮，U則是又醜又吵，又愛噴口水的大嘴巴，F則是最後一個字母唷

(annoying laughter)

(吵死人的笑聲)

You didn't even spell the word "laugh" right!

你根本就沒把laugh這個字完全拼對

It's L-A-U-G-H, not F.

是LAUGH，沒有F

But that spells "luh-gah".

可是那樣就變成LUH-GAH了耶

The G and H make an F sound.

G和H放在一起會變成F的音

But if GH sounds like F,

那照你那麼講的話

wouldn't the word "good" sound like "food"?

Good不就會發音成food了？

Then you wouldn't be able to tell if food is good

那這樣你就沒辦法分別出到底是「食物好美味」

or if good is food.

還是「東西是可以吃的」了

Good isn't spelled with a GH, Patdick.

Good裡面根本就沒有GH好嗎，拍下體

Ooh, thank fud.

喔，謝你喔，老古板 (譯註: fud此處為fuddy之縮寫)

Look, I don't have time to be teaching you guys basic English.

聽好，我可沒那麼多美國時間在這邊教你們小學英文

Just please keep it down.

請你們安靜小聲點，好嗎

Okay! See you later, Squidturd!

好喔，待會見啦，章魚屎！

Foodbye, Squidturd!

「債見」~~章魚屎！

Will you stop calling me that?

可不可以不要再那樣叫我了？

- It's Squidward! - (gasps)

-我叫章魚哥！ -(吸氣)

Squidturd! You're not supposed to say that name.

章魚屎！你真不應該說出那名字的

What? Why not?

為什麼不行？

- It's copylefted. - What?

-因為那個有受到反著作權的保護 -啥？

He means it's copyrighted.

他的意思是那有版權保護

But I'm left handed.

可我是左撇子啊

You two are idiots!

你們這兩個阿呆！

This is a parody. It's nothing like the original.

這只是惡搞影片，根本沒有一個東西跟原作一樣

Well, if we don't get in trouble from Spongebob,

好吧，就算我們沒被海綿寶寶找麻煩

we may still get in trouble from that other show--

我們還是可能會被其他節目盯上的啊...

What show?

什麼節目？

The one that has the exact same style as this one.

就是之前也有一個和我們風格很像的節目啊

I think it was called "Annoying Apple"

我還記得他叫...「蘋果麥擱鬧」

or "Irritating Orange" or...maybe it was--

還是「橘子擱來亂」還是...也可能是...

Oh, you mean the show where they kill all the fruits

喔，你說的那個節目是會在說「ㄉㄨㄠ子」之後

- by saying the word, "Kuh-nife"? - Yeah, that one!

就把所有水果給殺掉的嗎？ -沒有錯，你猜對了！

- Say what? - It's the show where they say

-說什麼？ -啊就那個節目裡提到「ㄉㄨㄠ子」

the word "kuh-nife" and a big kuh-nife comes down

之後，就會有一把ㄉㄨㄠ子過來

and cuts them in half.

把他們切成兩半啊

Kuh-nife? Wait a second.

ㄉㄨㄠ子？等一下下

How do you spell that word?

你怎麼拼那個字的？

It's easy! It's just K-N-I-F-E!

很簡單啊，阿不就KNIFE？

You want me to sing a song about it?

想要我為你獻唱一首歌嗎？

(grumbling) You two are idiots! The K is silent.

(發牢騷) 你們兩個笨蛋！K是不發音的

You don't say "kuh-nife".

你們不應該說ㄉㄨㄠ子

It's just knife--

是「刀子」而已...

(screaming)

(慘叫)

Oh my! It looks like Squidturd's in pain, Patdick.

喔我的上天啊，看起來章魚屎受傷了，拍下體

He should laugh. It's the best medicine.

他應該要高興的笑，因為那是最好的良藥

I don't think he can! Maybe we should laugh for him.

我不覺得他還可以笑，不然我們就幫他笑吧

Okay!

好喔！

(annoying laughter)

(吵死人的笑聲)

Teehee!

嘻嘻！