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  • [children chanting] Pork E.! Pork E.! Pork E.!

    [小孩高呼] 小箭!小箭!小箭…

  • Pork E.! Pork E.! Pork E.! Pork E.!

    小箭!小箭!小箭…

  • [techno music]

    [電子音樂]

  • [music stops, stutters]

    [音樂暫停,斷斷續續]

  • - No.

    不…

  • Damn it, Mads, you're jamming my flow.

    該死的…邁茲, 你打亂我的節奏。

  • I told you to go around during showtime.

    我跟你說過 表演時你要繞道走。

  • - Sorry.

    對不起。

  • - [sighs]

    [嘆氣]

  • [techno music resumes]

    [繼續播放電子音樂]

  • - Put on your pee pants, pants,

    穿好你的尿布,

  • because things are about to get crazy.

    因為事情將會變得瘋狂。

  • It's the moment you've all been waiting for.

    你們每個人都期待著這一刻。

  • It's the performance of a lifetime.

    這是一個千載難逢的表演。

  • It comes every third hour on the hour.

    每三小時表演一次, 每次一小時。

  • The king of quills.

    針刺之皇。

  • The prince of prick.

    針刺之王子。

  • Mr. Pork E. Pine!

    小箭豬先生!

  • [children chanting] Pork E.!

    [小孩高呼] 小箭!

  • [children cheering]

    [小孩歡呼]

  • [wacky music playing]

    [播放搞怪音樂]

  • - [high-pitched singing] Hey it's Pork E. time

    [高音調的歌聲] 喂…是小箭豬先生!

  • Hey its Pork E. time

    喂…是小箭豬先生!

  • Pork E. time

    小箭豬先生!

  • [playful music]

    [俏皮音樂]

  • - [man singing] This is America

    這裡是美國

  • Land of dreams

    夢想之地

  • Everyone can climb higher

    每個人都能攀更高

  • - [women singing] No you know you're stuck here

    無可能,你被捆在這

  • 'Cause you're a part-timer yeah

    因你是個兼職生

  • - [man singing] You can do anything

    你能做任何事

  • - [woman singing] As long as it's not hard

    只要是不太困難

  • - [man singing] And you can go anywhere

    你能去任何地方

  • - [woman singing] As soon as you get a car

    只要你有一輛車

  • - [man singing] You're gonna be a huge success

    你能夠得到名譽

  • - [woman singing] Come on that's not who you are

    別傻了這不是你自己

  • - [man singing] You're a part-timer cursed

    你是被詛咒的兼職生

  • With full-time dreams

    擁有個全職夢

  • And this low-paying job is as bad as it seems

    這個低工資的工作 真的非常糟糕

  • Bad as it seems

    真的非常糟糕

  • What the [bleep] are you doing here?

    你在這裡幹什麼呀

  • Whoa

  • What the [bleep] are you doing here?

    你在這裡幹什麼呀

  • Oh

  • Seriously, dude? - Like, what the [bleep]?

    兄弟,認真的, 你在這裡幹什麼呀?

  • [wacky music playing]

    [播放搞怪音樂]

  • - Excuse me?

    不好意思。

  • I work in TV,

    我在電視台工作的,

  • and I want to talk to someone about Pork E.

    我想跟負責人討論一下小箭,

  • Do you know who's in charge here?

    誰是這裡的負責人?

  • - This guy.

    我就是。

  • Well, technically, it's that guy.

    事實上是他才對。

  • [wacky music continues]

    [搞怪音樂繼續播放]

  • - Thank you.

    謝謝。

  • - [high-pitched singing] Pork E. Pine

    [高音調的歌聲] 小箭豬先生!

  • - Guys, we're gonna be on a TV commercial!

    大家,我們將會 登上電視廣告!

  • - Wow! - [laughs]

    哇! [笑聲]

  • - And Ian is gonna star as the face of childhood obesity.

    伊恩將會出演 成為兒童肥胖問題的明星。

  • - Oh, because he looks like a fat child.

    是因為他像 一個胖小孩?

  • - No.

    才不是。

  • Because Pork E. may be portly,

    即使小箭只是一隻豬,

  • but he can still dance.

    但他還可以跳舞。

  • And that is what childhood obesity is all about.

    而這正是關於兒童肥胖的一回事。

  • - What are the rest of us doing for the commercial?

    其他人的角色是什麼?

  • - [scoffs]

    [笑]

  • - Oh, nothing.

    沒有其他角色。

  • Ian is the only one in the commercial.

    伊恩是唯一的角色。

  • Did I not make that clear?

    我沒有跟你們說清楚嗎?

  • - He does look like a fat child.

    他的確像一個胖小孩。

  • - Guys, we can all watch it on TV together.

    大家,我們可以一起看那個電視廣告。

  • - Hey. Can a fat child do this?

    喂! 胖小孩能做這個動作嗎?

  • [scatting]

    [擬聲歌唱]

  • Can a fat child do this?

    胖小孩能做這個動作嗎?

  • Whoa--aah!

    哇…啊!

  • [crashes] Ow!

    [摔傷] 噢!

  • [lively music]

    [輕快音樂]

  • - No, no, no. What happened to your leg?

    不要… 發生什麼事?

  • - They said if I put any more pressure on it,

    他們說如果我再對 我的腿施加壓力,

  • it'll snap like a twig.

    它會像斷掉的樹枝一樣。

  • Dude, I had to borrow this scooter from my Nana

    我要向阿嬤借代步車,

  • in exchange for taking her to water aerobics for a month.

    我要帶她去做 水中有氧運動一個月以作交換。

  • - This is a huge opportunity for us.

    這是我們的好機會。

  • Don't you understand, man?

    你明白嗎老兄?

  • Thousands of dollars in free advertising.

    數千美元和免費宣傳。

  • - I understand, but I can't dance, man.

    老兄我明白,但我不能跳舞。

  • - [sighs]

    [歌聲]

  • [techno music playing]

    [播放電子音樂]

  • Then you'll teach someone who can.

    那你就要教人跳舞。

  • - Forget it.

    打消這念頭!

  • Every time they go near that suit,

    每次他們接近那套裝,

  • Ian leaves a single piece of poop in my locker.

    伊恩會留下一坨屎在我的儲物櫃。

  • - That was just one little nug.

    只是小小的一坨屎而已。

  • And I warned you: no one touches the suit.

    而且我警告過你: 沒有人能碰那套裝!

  • - That nug stunk for weeks

    臭味待在儲物櫃一整個星期,

  • and ruined my limited edition Bono AIDS iPod.

    還毀了我的限量版 波諾愛滋紅iPod。

  • - Okay, no one who likes Bono deserves the suit.

    喜歡波諾的人都 不配穿上那套裝!

  • - Ian, if we get the pork man on TV,

    伊恩, 如果我們能將箭豬人帶上電視,

  • he'll be a celebrity, and that means you'll be a celebrity.

    他會成為名人, 這意味著你都會成為一個名人。

  • - Okay, fine.

    好,算了。

  • But I'm not gonna take it easy on him.

    但訓練將會很艱難,

  • When he's dancing, he's representing me.

    他跳舞的時候, 他會是代表我。

  • - All right.

    好吧。

  • Dinger?

    迪傑?

  • - I'll do it.

    好啦我做吧。

  • I'll do it for Nana's scooter.

    以阿嬤代步車作交換。

  • [chuckles]

    [笑聲]

  • - Yes! Going to Hollywood, guys.

    太好了, 大家一起邁向好萊塢。

  • [wheels squeaking]

    [車輪吱叫聲]

  • - Wrong. Wrong.

    錯,錯。

  • You can't put on the suit until your body is prepped and lubed.

    你不能穿上那套裝 直到你的身體準備好和夠潤滑。

  • - Whatever, dude.

    隨便啦。

  • - Oh, you think this is funny?

    哦,你覺得這可笑嗎?

  • Do you think these are funny?

    你認為這很可笑嗎?

  • [dramatic music]

    [戲劇性音樂]

  • - Oh, God. - Yeah.

    天啊。沒錯。

  • What are you gonna do when your nipples start to sweat?

    當你的乳頭開始出汗, 你會怎樣做?

  • And that sweat turns into salt crystals,

    汗水會變成鹽晶體,

  • which then turns into little tiny razor blades...

    然後變成了一點微形的刀片…

  • - No. - That shred your soft,

    不會的。它會把你的柔軟

  • sweet nipple meat.

    的乳頭肉切絲。

  • Don't even get me started on

    你不會想我說

  • what's gonna happen to your thighs.

    你的大腿會發生什麼事。

  • Now let's get you lubed up.

    現在讓我給你身體潤滑起來。

  • Oh, Jesus, Dinger.

    天啊,迪傑。

  • Really?

    真的嗎?

  • [lively music]

    [輕快音樂]

  • - Hey, girl, I'm covering the prize booth, and--

    女士們,我將會負責獎品部, 而且…

  • [funky music]

    [時髦音樂]

  • Ooh. I'll figure it out.

    噢…我自己尋方法解決。

  • - Is it supposed to feel so good?

    這感覺難道真的這麼好嗎?

  • - Can you please just not say that while I'm down here?

    你可不可以不要 在我蹲下來的時候說這些話?

  • - Yeah.

    好的。

  • [lasers firing on arcade game]

    [街機遊戲的激光射擊聲]

  • - Hey, Ding--or--

    喂,迪傑…

  • Hi, Lori. You're working prizes now?

    喂,羅莉。 你負責獎品部?

  • - Just like I did in '96.

    我在1996年以前都負責過獎品部,

  • Dinger makes this out to be rocket science,

    迪傑把這裡變成 研究火箭科學一樣複雜,

  • but it's just counting tickets and handing out toys.

    其實只是數遊戲券 然後送獎品。

  • - What do I get for this?

    我能換到什麼獎品?

  • - Oh, well, let's see what you got.

    噢,很好, 讓我來看你能換到什麼。

  • All right, one...two...

    好的,壹,貳…

  • - I want a stretchy hand and I want it now.

    我要黏手玩具, 馬上給我。

  • - As soon as I'm done counting.

    當我數完才到你。

  • - My parents are in the car, so let's not keep 'em waiting.

    我的父母都在車上, 不要讓他們等太久。

  • Huh, toots?

    明白嗎,啪?

  • [dramatic music] - I want it all!

    [戲劇性音樂] 全部都給我!

  • - You will give this place the respect it deserves.

    你要給這個地方應有的尊重。

  • Mads.

    邁茲。

  • - It's mine!

    這是我的!

  • [all screaming]

    [全部人都尖叫]

  • [dramatic music swells]

    [戲劇性音樂調大聲]

  • [watch beeps]

    [手錶聲響]

  • - Workout gear! What do you think?

    運動專用服, 覺得怎樣?

  • - Are those Ella's shorts?

    你穿的是艾拉的褲嗎?

  • Dude, you shouldn't go through other peoples' lockers.

    老兄,你不應該翻別人的儲物櫃。

  • That's not cool. - Oh, it's cool to crap in 'em?

    這很不尊重人。 噢,要尊重別人就應該留一坨屎在他儲物櫃?

  • Come on, man, just give me the suit.

    拜託,老兄, 給我穿上那套裝

  • Hey. Hey!

    喂,喂!

  • - You don't get to wear the suit

    你還不能穿上那套裝

  • until you can handle wearing the suit.

    直至你能輕易應付穿上那套裝

  • - Just gonna grab this-- - No.

    只需要拿這個… 不可以。

  • - Aah.

    啊。

  • - Your training...starts now.

    你的訓練…現在開始。

  • [intense music]

    [激烈音樂]

  • The suit is heavy.

    這個套裝很重。

  • It puts pressure on your shoulders,

    壓力會施在你的肩膀,

  • your legs, and, sometimes after dry cleaning,

    你的腿,而且 那套裝乾洗後,

  • your junk.

    你的下體

  • Also...the suit is dark.

    而且,你隱約看到東西。

  • - [whimpers]

    [抱怨]

  • - The suit it taxing.

    穿上那套裝是很費力的

  • I once made it all the way to the locker room

    有一次我穿著這套裝走到儲物櫃室,

  • before I realized I had a kid stuck in my quills.

    才發現有個小孩掛在我身後的刺。

  • Lastly, the suit is hot.

    最後,穿上這套裝會很熱。

  • - Wait.

    等等。

  • - Five, six, seven, eight.

    五、六、七、八

  • [snappers popping] Cross over front.

    [小型啪彈聲] 交叉向前。

  • Cross over back.

    交叉向後。

  • Pull!

    拉!

  • Now jump into a split.

    跳起來然後雙腿分開。

  • - I can't, I-- - Jump, damn you.

    我做不到,我… 叫你跳!

  • [intense music continues]

    [繼續播放激烈音樂]

  • I might have taken this a bit too far.

    我可能對他太過嚴格。

  • - No, this is for television, man.

    才不會,這些都是為了上電視。

  • - You're right. Ten more minutes.

    說得對,再十分鐘。

  • [scary music] - Where are their parents?

    [恐怖音樂] 他們的父母在那?

  • - I thought you've done this before.

    你以前不是負責過嗎。

  • - Hey, what's up, guys?

    喂,怎麼了大家?

  • - Watch out, Pete, they can smell fear!

    小心,皮特, 他們能感受到恐懼!

  • - It's already too late! Aah!

    太遲了,啊!

  • - Hand over the helicopter and no one else gets hurt.

    不想其他人受傷便交出直升機。

  • - Never. - Aah!

    絕不! 啊!

  • - For the 100th time,

    說了第一百次,

  • cross over front... [snappers popping]

    [小型啪彈聲] 交叉向前

  • Jump kick right.

    跳向右踢。

  • And jump into a split.

    跳起來然後雙腿分開。

  • - I...I can't.

    我做不到…

  • - I said jump!

    我叫你跳!

  • - I don't think I can do it!

    我覺得自己做不到!

  • - Jump split, damn you!

    叫你跳然後腿分開!

  • [snappers pop] - [whines]

    [小型啪彈聲] [抱怨聲]

  • - Congratulations.

    恭喜您。

  • You're ready.

    你已經準備好。

  • - [exhales weakly]

    [微弱呼氣]

  • [dramatic music] [children clamoring]

    [戲劇性音樂] [孩子叫嚷]

  • - Ow! Oh, my God.

    噢! 哦,天啊。

  • - I got a plan. Cover me.

    我有個計劃。 掩護我。

  • I said cover me!

    我叫你掩護我!

  • [children shouting]

    [孩子大喊]

  • Hey, hey, hey!

    喂!喂!喂!

  • This what y'all want? Huh? Huh?

    你們都想要吧? 吓?吓?

  • - Yeah.

    對。

  • - Come on, get it. Come on.

    來呀,拿呀。 來呀。

  • [children screaming]

    [孩子大叫]

  • [dramatic music]

    [戲劇性音樂]

  • - Hey, you can't lock us in here.

    喂,你不能困我們在這。

  • - You got an iPhone. Text your parents.

    你有iPhone。 給你父母傳訊息。

  • - What's your Wi-Fi password?

    這裡的無線網絡密碼是什麼?

  • - [sighs]

    [歎氣]

  • - Action.

    開始拍攝。

  • Action.

    開始拍攝。

  • Action. - That's my chair.

    開始拍攝。 那是我的椅子。

  • - Oh. Oh, yeah, sorry.

    噢。 噢,對,抱歉。

  • Uh, you just have a trailer I can just hang out in?

    呃,你有沒有名星拖車 能讓我參觀一下?

  • - Yeah.

    有呀⋯

  • - Where is it?

    在那裡?

  • - I can't do this.

    我做不到。

  • - Hey. - [muffled scream]

    喂! [低沉的尖叫聲]

  • - Listen, listen.

    聽我說,聽我說。

  • You're gonna nail it,

    你將會完成拍攝,

  • Pork E .'s gonna be famous,

    小箭將會變得有名氣,

  • and Nana's never gonna see this scooter again.

    而阿嬤再也不用要見到她的代步車。

  • Got it? - Okay.

    明白嗎? 明白。

  • - Places, please. - Go.

    請就位。 去。

  • Hey, no, no. This way, this way, this way.

    喂,不對。 這邊才對。

  • - I wish I was back in the trunk.

    我希望一直留在車尾行李箱。

  • - Go.

    去。

  • - And action.

    開始拍攝。

  • - Action. That's an action.

    開始拍攝。 已經叫了開始拍攝。

  • [wacky music playing]

    [播放搞怪音樂]

  • - Come on, Dinger, come on.

    來吧,迪傑,來吧。

  • - [high-pitched singing] Hey it's Pork E. time

    [高音調的歌聲] 喂,是小箭豬先生!

  • [wacky music continues]

    [繼續播放搞怪音樂]

  • - [grunts]

    [呼嚕聲]

  • - What is he doing?

    他在做什麼?

  • - [grunting]

    [呼嚕聲]

  • - I think he's-- - Is he?

    我想他在… 他是不是?

  • - No.

    不是的。

  • - I just pooped in your suit!

    我剛才在套裝裡拉屎!

  • - What? - You mother[bleep]!

    什麼? 你該死的!

  • Ow! - It's just a nug.

    嗷! 只是一坨屎而已。

  • Oh, wait.

    噢,等等。

  • He might have a friend.

    它可能會有個朋友。

  • [grunting]

    [呼嚕聲]

  • - I'm gonna kill you!

    我會殺死你!

  • - The second one was for Bono!

    第二坨屎是為波諾的!

  • Whoo.

    哦。

  • Yeah!

    耶!

  • - No, no, no.

    不要呀。

  • [wheels squeaking] Aah!

    [車輪吱叫聲] 啊!

  • - Whoo! - Dinger!

    哦! 迪傑!

  • Aah!

    啊!