We are gonna be at the Johnson's very late tonight.

我們今晚要去 Johnson 家到很晚。

Okay. Have fun.

好喔，玩得愉快。

Oh, we will, but you won't. Not after the party you threw last time.

我們會的，但因為你們上次辦的派對所以你們今天不會過得很愉快。

We hired a baby-sitter.

我們雇了一位保母。

A what?!

一位什麼？

- We're too old for a baby-sitter. - (doorbell rings)

- 我們太大了不適合保母了。-(門鈴響)

- Ooh, there she is. - Go get her.

- 她來了。- 去幫她開門。

Hi, come on in.

嗨，進來吧。

Hello, everyone. I'm sorry I'm late. Daddy couldn't drive me over, so I had to ride my bicycle.

大家好，抱歉我遲到了，我爸爸沒辦法載我過來，所以我是騎腳踏車來的。

Ah, heck! We're just glad you could make it. Hannah's in high demand. She is the best baby-sitter in the neighborhood.

拜託！你能來就我們就很高興了。Hannah 生意很好，她是社區裡最棒的保母了。

And you must be Kelsey and Brendan. We're gonna have so much fun together.

你們一定就是 Kelsey 跟 Brendan。我們今天會過得很愉快。

Mom, you hired a child!

媽，你雇用的是小孩！

- Shh! - Hannah, I'm sorry. Kelsey's just a little cranky today.

- 安靜！- Hannah 我很抱歉，Kelsey 今天有點暴躁。

Oh, does baby need her bottle?

寶寶需要她的奶瓶嗎？

Yeah. Does baby need her buhbuh?

沒錯，寶寶需要她的瓶瓶嗎？

Okay. Anyway, Hannah, I'm gonna need you to help Brendan shave his back.

總之，Hannah，我需要你幫我替 Brendan 的背除毛。

Okay, mom, please.

- 媽，拜託。

Normally, I would do it, but I am taking a well-deserved night off from old "werewolf shoulders" over here.

通常是我幫他除，但我今天要好好放個假，不用幫滿是毛的「狼人背」除毛。

Oh, and no snacks after midnight because they have horrible nightmares about their changing bodies.

對了，午夜後不能吃零食，因為他們對自己不斷變化的身體會做噩夢。

- Okay, well, we gotta go now. Love you. Don't call us. - Bye bye.

- 好的，我們該走了，愛你們，別打來。- 掰掰。

Wait, you can't leave us like this!

等等，你們不能就這樣把我們丟著！

Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh. Don't cry. Mommy and daddies need to spend time alone every now and then, but they still love you very, very much.

噓，噓，噓，噓，噓，別哭。媽媽跟爸爸偶而需要獨處一下，但他們還是非常非常愛你們的。

We know.

我們知道。

(TV) Wish I didn't have to say this, but... Gryffindor!!!

(電視) 真希望我不用這樣說，但是... 葛萊芬多！

Okay, Brendan, bath time.

好了，Brendan，該泡澡了。

I don't take baths. I take showers.

我不泡澡，我都淋浴。

Looks like we've got a Stubborn Steven. The boys are always Stubborn Stevens.

看來是位固執的小男孩呢，男生們都很固執。

I'm not a Stubborn Steven.

我不固執。

I mean, you kinda are a Stubborn Steven.

你確實是有點固執。

I'm not a Stubborn Steven.

我不固執。

Then prove it.

那就證明給我看。

(in babyish voice) 78... 79...

(小寶寶口音) 78... 79...

I just have to go to the bathroom.

我要去廁所。

Well, all right. When you come back, I'll dress you up as your favorite dolly.

好吧，你回來之後，我會把你打扮成你最喜歡的洋娃娃。

What're you doing?!

你在幹嘛？！

Dry off and get dressed! We're getting out of here.

擦乾身體，穿上衣服，我們要逃離這裡。

Okay.

好喔。

And just where are you going?

你們要去哪裡？

- Wha-- going out. - And you can't stop us.

- 出去。- 而且你也不能阻止我們。

- I can't stop you... but Buckshot can! - Holy [bleep]!

- 我阻止不了你們... 但是霰彈槍可以！- 該死！

I didn't become the best baby-sitter in the neighborhood by letting kids escape. Looks like it's bedtime, kiddies... one way or another.

我會成為最好的保母並不是因為我會讓小孩逃走。小朋友們，看來該是睡覺時間了，你們只能二擇一。

Okay... all right. Yeah. We're going.

好，我們去睡覺。

Goodnight moon, goodnight house, goodnight Remington 12 Gauge.

月亮晚安，房子晚安，雷明登 12 號口徑霰彈槍晚安。

Hello!

嗨！

Mom, dad! Thank God! This little monster has a gun!

媽，爸！感謝老天！這小怪物有槍！

Oh, right. We're gonna need that back.

沒錯，我們要收回來。

Oh, wait, that's yours?

等等，這是你們的？

Yeah, dummy. Hannah's not old enough to own a shotgun.

是啊，笨蛋。Hannah 年紀太小不能有霰彈槍。

I brushed out the barrel and I oiled her up, by the way.

對了，我把槍管刷過了，還上了油。

You are so thoughtful. Hey, how should I pay you?

你好貼心，對了，我該怎麼付錢給你？

Direct deposit is fine.

直接匯款給我就好。

Great! Thanks again.

很好！再次感謝你。

Any time. Goodnight!

隨時奉陪，晚安！

- Bye then. - Bye bye!

- 掰。- 掰掰！

Okay, kids, time to go to bed.

好了孩子們，該去睡覺了。

Your dad and I are gonna do it.

你爸跟我要去翻雲覆雨了。

That's the worst thing I've heard all day.

這是今天一整天聽過最噁的事情了。

- Let's try weird positions! - Yeah!

- 來試試奇怪的姿勢吧！- 好耶！

I spoke too soon.

我太早下定論了，這更噁心。