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  • AND I AM A HUGE FAN OF SCIENCE.

  • IT'S GIVEN US THE MOON LANDING , THE POLIO VACCINE, HEATED CAR

  • SEATS, YOU KNOW?

  • (APPLAUSE) MINE HAS SIX SETTINGS ON IT.

  • I KEEP IT DOWN TO TWO BECAUSE I LIKE TO COOK MY ASS LOW AND

  • SLOW.

  • (LAUGHTER) (APPLAUSE)

  • BY THE TIME I GET HOME AT NIGHT, IT'S FALLING RIGHT OFF THE

  • BONES.

  • DON'T EVEN NEED A FORK.

  • FANTASTIC.

  • A POTATO, COUPLE OF CARROTS, AMAZING.

  • BOTTLE OF WINE, SET FOR THE WEEKEND.

  • BUT EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE, SCIENCE CAN BE A REAL BUZZKILL.

  • JUST ASK PLUTO, WHICH USED TO BE A PLANET, OR COCAINE, WHICH

  • USED TO BE A MEDICINE.

  • THE LATEST THING BEING RUINED BY SCIENCE?

  • SPIDERMAN.

  • (AUDIENCE REACTS) I'M GOING TO PRETEND YOU'RE MORE

  • UPSET THAN THAT.

  • LET ME TRY IT AGAIN.

  • IT'S SPIDERMAN!

  • (AUDIENCE REACTS) YEAH, I THOUGHT YOU WOULD BE

  • UPSET.

  • BECAUSE A NEW STUDY FROM CAMBRIDGE UNIVERSITY SAYS THAT

  • ACCORDING TO THEIR CALCULATIONS, SPIDERMAN SHOULD NOT BE ABLE TO

  • CLIMB WALLS.

  • (AUDIENCE REACTS) YEAH!

  • YEAH.

  • YEAH.

  • BOO!

  • BOO!

  • NOW, I'M NOT QUESTIONING THESE SCIENTISTS' CREDENTIALS -- I

  • THINK THEY'RE THE ONES WHO TRIED TO WARN US SPIDERMAN COULD NOT

  • BE A BROADWAY SHOW.

  • BUT...

  • WE DIDN'T LISTEN!

  • (APPLAUSE) BUT NO WALL-CLIMBING?

  • THAT'S ONE OF THE MAIN THINGS HE DOES!

  • WITHOUT THAT, HE JUST SHOOTS GOO AND IS RADIOACTIVELY GUILTY

  • ABOUT HIS UNCLE.

  • ACCORDING TO THE STUDY, THE LARGEST ANIMAL CAPABLE OF WALL

  • CLIMBING IS THE GECKO.

  • AND I'M NOT SURE IF KIRSTEN DUNST WANTS TO KISS ONE OF THOSE

  • UPSIDE DOWN.

  • I MEAN, THAT'S A LOT OF TONGUE.

  • ANYWAY, THAT'S WHAT THEY SAY.

  • THEY CATCH FLIES WITH THEIR TONGUE, SEE.

  • BUT SCIENTISTS SAY THAT'S THE CASE SO OBVIOUSLY SPIDERMAN WILL

  • NEED A NEW THEME SONG.

  • SPIDERMAN, SPIDERMAN, DOES SOME OF THE THINGS A SPIDER CAN

  • CLIMBING WALLS, THAT'S IN DOUBT

  • OTHER THINGS, JURY'S OUT ♪ ♪ OH WELL

  • SO MUCH FOR SPIDERMAN ♪ (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

AND I AM A HUGE FAN OF SCIENCE.

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B2 中高級

科學毀了蜘蛛俠 (Science Has Ruined Spider-Man)

  • 43 1
    Yaya 發佈於 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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