字幕列表 影片播放 列印英文字幕 AND I AM A HUGE FAN OF SCIENCE. IT'S GIVEN US THE MOON LANDING , THE POLIO VACCINE, HEATED CAR SEATS, YOU KNOW? (APPLAUSE) MINE HAS SIX SETTINGS ON IT. I KEEP IT DOWN TO TWO BECAUSE I LIKE TO COOK MY ASS LOW AND SLOW. (LAUGHTER) (APPLAUSE) BY THE TIME I GET HOME AT NIGHT, IT'S FALLING RIGHT OFF THE BONES. DON'T EVEN NEED A FORK. FANTASTIC. A POTATO, COUPLE OF CARROTS, AMAZING. BOTTLE OF WINE, SET FOR THE WEEKEND. BUT EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE, SCIENCE CAN BE A REAL BUZZKILL. JUST ASK PLUTO, WHICH USED TO BE A PLANET, OR COCAINE, WHICH USED TO BE A MEDICINE. THE LATEST THING BEING RUINED BY SCIENCE? SPIDERMAN. (AUDIENCE REACTS) I'M GOING TO PRETEND YOU'RE MORE UPSET THAN THAT. LET ME TRY IT AGAIN. IT'S SPIDERMAN! (AUDIENCE REACTS) YEAH, I THOUGHT YOU WOULD BE UPSET. BECAUSE A NEW STUDY FROM CAMBRIDGE UNIVERSITY SAYS THAT ACCORDING TO THEIR CALCULATIONS, SPIDERMAN SHOULD NOT BE ABLE TO CLIMB WALLS. (AUDIENCE REACTS) YEAH! YEAH. YEAH. BOO! BOO! NOW, I'M NOT QUESTIONING THESE SCIENTISTS' CREDENTIALS -- I THINK THEY'RE THE ONES WHO TRIED TO WARN US SPIDERMAN COULD NOT BE A BROADWAY SHOW. BUT... WE DIDN'T LISTEN! (APPLAUSE) BUT NO WALL-CLIMBING? THAT'S ONE OF THE MAIN THINGS HE DOES! WITHOUT THAT, HE JUST SHOOTS GOO AND IS RADIOACTIVELY GUILTY ABOUT HIS UNCLE. ACCORDING TO THE STUDY, THE LARGEST ANIMAL CAPABLE OF WALL CLIMBING IS THE GECKO. AND I'M NOT SURE IF KIRSTEN DUNST WANTS TO KISS ONE OF THOSE UPSIDE DOWN. I MEAN, THAT'S A LOT OF TONGUE. ANYWAY, THAT'S WHAT THEY SAY. THEY CATCH FLIES WITH THEIR TONGUE, SEE. BUT SCIENTISTS SAY THAT'S THE CASE SO OBVIOUSLY SPIDERMAN WILL NEED A NEW THEME SONG. ♪ SPIDERMAN, SPIDERMAN, DOES SOME OF THE THINGS A SPIDER CAN ♪ CLIMBING WALLS, THAT'S IN DOUBT ♪ OTHER THINGS, JURY'S OUT ♪ ♪ OH WELL ♪ ♪ SO MUCH FOR SPIDERMAN ♪ (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)