Name: 【TEDx】Leslie Morgan Steiner: 為什麼家暴受害者不離開 Why Don't Domestic Violence Victims Leave? Living Through Crazy Love
Uploaded: 2013-04-21T06:04:54.000Z
Duration: 16 min 1 s

I'm here today to talk about a disturbing question,

我今天在這裡想談談一個令人不安的問題

情態副詞

My topic is the secrets of domestic violence,

is the one question everyone always asks:

Why would anyone stay with a man who beats her?

為什麼會有人要留在打她的男人身邊?

I was 22. I had just graduated from Harvard College.

I had moved to New York City for my first job

我搬到紐約進行人生第一份工作

as a writer and editor at Seventeen magazine.

是Seventeen雜誌（青少年雜誌）的作家和編輯

my first little green American Express card,

loaded with hollow-point bullets pointed at my head

by the man who I thought was my soulmate,

The man who I loved more than anybody on Earth

我愛這個男人勝過地球上所有的人

held a gun to my head and threatened to kill me

但他拿著槍抵著我的頭，威脅說要殺我

I'm here to tell you the story of crazy love,

我在這要告訴你「瘋狂之愛」的故事

one that millions of women and even a few men

I don't look like a typical domestic violence survivor.

我看起來不像一位典型的家暴生還者

I have a B.A. in English from Harvard College,

我擁有哈佛大學英文系的學士學位

an MBA in marketing from Wharton Business School.

華頓商學院的商業管理碩士學位

I've spent most of my career working for Fortune 500 companies

我幾乎都在世界前500大的公司工作

including Johnson & Johnson, Leo Burnett and The Washington Post.

包括強生、李奧貝納和華盛頓郵報

I've been married for almost 20 years to my second husband

我嫁給我第二任丈夫已快20年了

My dog is a black lab, and I drive a Honda Odyssey minivan.

有一隻黑拉不拉多犬我開本田Odyssey小箱型車

So my first message for you is that domestic violence

all races, all religions, all income and education levels.

所有種族、信仰、職業和教育程度

And my second message is that everyone thinks

而我想讓大家思考的第二件事是

大家都認為家庭暴力只發生在女性身上

Over 85 percent of abusers are men, and domestic abuse

happens only in intimate, interdependent, long-term relationships,

而家庭暴力只發生在親密、相互依存且長期的關係中

the last place we would want or expect to find violence,

是我們最不希望、或期待看到暴力的地方

which is one reason domestic abuse is so confusing.

這也是家庭暴力令人困惑的地方

I would have told you myself that I was the last person on Earth

我很想告訴你，我是世界上最不可能

在先生打我時還留在他身邊的人

but in fact I was a very typical victim because of my age.

但事實上，由於我的年紀，我是位典型的受害者

women ages 16 to 24 are three times as likely

16到24歲的女性成為家暴受害者的機率

這個年齡中，美國每年有超過500位的女性

are killed every year by abusive partners,

被暴力的伴侶、男朋友或丈夫殺害

boyfriends, and husbands in the United States.

I was also a very typical victim because I knew nothing

about domestic violence, its warning signs or its patterns.

我對家庭暴力的警訊和模式一無所知

I met Conor on a cold, rainy January night.

He sat next to me on the New York City subway,

One was that he, too, had just graduated from an Ivy League school,

第一，他也才剛從長春藤盟校畢業

and that he worked at a very impressive Wall Street bank.

他在華爾街一家極知名的銀行上班

But what made the biggest impression on me that first meeting

但讓我在這第一次會面裡最印象深刻的是

He had these big cheeks, these big apple cheeks

One of the smartest things Conor did, from the very beginning,

從一開始，康納做得最聰明的一件事

was to create the illusion that I was the dominant partner in the relationship.

是創造出一個假象讓我成為這感情中的主導者

We started dating, and he loved everything about me,

我們開始約會，他喜歡我的一切

that I was smart, that I'd gone to Harvard,

that I was passionate about helping teenage girls, and my job.

我對於幫助青少年女性和工作都很有熱情

He wanted to know everything about my family

and my childhood and my hopes and dreams.

我的童年，對未來的希望與夢想

Conor believed in me, as a writer and a woman,

身為一位作家和女性，康納對我的信任是所有人中前所未有的

And he also created a magical atmosphere of trust between us

他也透過傾訴秘密創造出一種彼此信任的神奇氛圍

which was that, as a very young boy starting at age four,

he had been savagely and repeatedly physically abused

他就被他的繼父狠毒地一再施暴

and the abuse had gotten so bad that he had had to drop out of school in eighth grade,

這情況嚴重到他在八年級時必須輟學

and he'd spent almost 20 years rebuilding his life.

and the Wall Street job and his bright shiny future

華爾街的工作和前程似錦的未來

that this smart, funny, sensitive man who adored me

這位聰明、幽默、體貼並愛慕我的男人

would one day dictate whether or not I wore makeup,