Not really. What?

沒有很常。什麼？

Well, you know, when you love somebody and you see them all the time...

這個嘛，當你愛著一個人，常常跟他膩在一起……

Yeah.

對。

- Things get a little bit tense sometimes. - Mmhm.

- 有時情況會變得有點緊張。- 沒錯。

We've been together for eight months now.

我們交往八個月了。

- Eight years. - Eight years.

- 八年。 - 八年。

We've been together for two years.

我們在一起兩年了。

Married for almost a year.

結婚快一年了。

It's cool. Take your time. I know I'm perfect.

沒事的，你慢慢寫。我知道我很完美。

I knew exactly what I was going to write. I didn't have to think about it for a second.

我完全知道自己要寫什麼，根本不需要多想。

Are you mad at me?

你在生我的氣嗎？

I mean, we're about to find out.

我們很快就會知道了。

She wants me to communicate more, I guess.

我猜她希望我多跟她溝通。

Talk about my feelings more.

多說說我的感覺。

It's not that at all. I wrote that you mess up the toothpaste.

完全不是那個。我寫的是你亂擠牙膏。

He like, squeezes it.

他喜歡捏牙膏。

I try to like do it from the bottom to the top so you get what's down at the bottom, and like, it's done when it's done.

我會從牙膏後端擠到前端，就可以用到後端的牙膏，牙膏擠完的時候也就用完了。

He like squeezes the top and just like, messes up my whole system.

但他喜歡從前端擠，破壞我的規矩。

The whole place has to be clean, but I leave like little messes.

應該要保持環境整潔，但我會製造小髒亂。

Is that it?

是這樣嗎？

Yeah, that's true.

對，是這樣沒錯。

Have you ever seen almond milk when it dries?

你看過杏仁牛奶乾掉嗎？

It like turns into sludge, so like the spoon just... It's so gross.

它會變成黏液狀，湯匙就會像這樣……超級噁。

I'd say I putz around.

我覺得是心不在焉。

It's putzing.

心不在焉。

But she says like fidgeting.

她說我喜歡動來動去。

- Did you say fidgeting? - Putzing.

- 是喜歡動來動去嗎？ - 是心不在焉。

What are you even doing?

你到底在幹嗎？

You're just moving things from one side of the table to the other side of the table.

你只是把東西從桌子的一端移到另一端。

No, I'm getting things nice.

不是，我只是想把東西弄好。

But it doesn't make me feel like you're listening.

但你讓我覺得你沒在聽。

What? I am listening.

什麼？我有在聽啊。

Putzing is a thing that my dad does...

我爸會心不在焉。

It's what my dad does too.

我爸也會。

- And my, maybe it's a fucking dad thing, I don't know. - I'm not a dad. - but like, you're about to...

- 說不定那是爸爸們才會做的事，不知道。- 我不是爸爸啊。- 但你就要變成……

I'm a what?!

我要當爸爸了？！

You're gonna, I said like, eventually, you'll become one.

我是說你會，最終你也會成為爸爸。

My guess is that that board it says I'm a food bully.

我猜他會說我是「食物鴨霸」。

I'm not a food bully. I'm a good cook.

我不是「食物鴨霸」，我是個很好的廚師。

If I forget something and I give him the plate of food, then I'm like, oh, let me add, he's like, "No, food bully. I want it just like this, food bully".

如果我漏放了什麼，然後想再他盤裡再添一點，他就會說：「不，鴨霸。我就想原本這樣，你這個食物鴨霸。」

Come on, you know it.

你知道我要寫什麼的。

- Snoring? - Yeah.

- 打鼾？ - 對。

Like you see this, like, she's a nice like, little petite girl and it's just like the noises that come out are just...

如你所見，她是一個嬌小可愛的女孩，但她發出來的噪音真的是……

I've actually woken myself up before with my snoring.

我其實被自己的鼾聲吵醒過。

I can't say anything else without getting in so much trouble.

我說什麼都有可能會遭殃。

No, you won't be in trouble.

不會，你不會遭殃。

[Clinging]

[黏人]

Oh, yeah, that's true.

喔，對。這是真的。

It's great because she like, lets me know how much time she wants to spend with me, all the time.

這樣很棒呀，因為我會知道她想花很多時間跟我在一起。

So I feel really guilty if I'm not hanging out with you.

所以如果沒跟妳一起，我會很愧疚。

Really?

真的嗎？

Because you're not doing anything.

因為妳沒任何事可做。

I don't care.

我不在意啊。

But you, you sound so sad. You're just like, "I'm just sitting here watching...."

但妳聽起來很難過就，像這樣：「我就坐在那看……」

Oh, I'm never, oh, I'm never sad about it.

喔，我從來沒因為那樣難過。

I didn't know that you were reading that as sad. I was texting you that, as in like, I've done it.

我不知道你以為我難過，我傳簡訊給你只是想告訴你我做到了。

I've succeeded in being alone. It's the best.

我可以獨自一人，這樣最好。

Well good, then we just sorted through this then.

不錯，我們解決了這個問題。

- Yeah, I don't care. - Okay.

- 對啊，我不在意。 - 好呦。

Other than that, I need to squeeze the toothpaste from the bottom.

除此之外，我需要從後端擠牙膏。

Well, I learned that the cereal bowl thing is a big deal which I was not aware of.

我現在知道麥片的嚴重性了，我以前沒注意到。

I mean, I think if those are the two things that are pet peeves in a relationship, it's not too bad.

我覺得這兩件事如果是一段關係中的小地雷，其實也沒那麼糟。

I think the key to dealing with pet peeves is to discuss them.

我覺得處理這些小地雷的關鍵就是去討論它們。

I think it's like spinning it so that everything becomes like a weird quirk of theirs that doesn't drive you crazy.

就像讓一個東西旋轉，一切都會有奇異的轉變，就不會讓你抓狂。

It's about picking your battles.

這關乎選擇自己的戰役。

It's about knowing maybe this could make my life a little easier.

知道這樣也許可以讓你的生活過得容易點。

But, you're not going to try to change me, and that's so nice.

但你並沒有要試圖改變我，你真好。

You're good the way you are. You don't need to change.

你原本的樣子就很好了，不需要改變。

- Great. - Yay.

- 很好。 - 耶！

- No, I still love you. - I still love you.

- 我還是愛你。 - 我也依舊愛你。

- I think I got lipstick on you. - It's fine, I'll wear it and wear it with pride.

- 你好像沾到我的口紅了。- 沒關係，沾到就沾到，我很驕傲。