[male speaker] Yes, what?

>> [Mrs. Saunders] Yes, I am her. >> [male speaker] Thank you.

Say the whole thing, jeez.

Well, the surgery was a success.

We're lucky your husband got here so quickly after the accident.

We were able to stabilize him eventually, but in order to save his life,

I had to take his neck, okay?

[Mrs. Saunders] Okay? Okay?

No, no, no, no—not okay. I don't understand—he lost his neck?

[male speaker] Well, we didn't lose it.

It's in the garbage.

I'd show you, but it's probably got fries on it by now.

You know?

[Mrs. Saunders] I guess if this was some sort of last ditch effort

to save his life— >> [male speaker] Yep. Yeah. Yeah.

That's it. It was a last ditch thing to save his life.

What was had to do is we had to make two very small, imperceptible incisions

right here in the neck so we could get in there

with a power saw and just jam away on that bad boy,

then just dumped the sucker in the trash.

[Mrs. Saunders] Oh, my God.

>> [male speaker] Don't cry. . >> [Mrs. Saunders] Okay, I'm going to—

so when I see him, he's not going to have a neck?

[male speaker] He'll be neckless. Completely neckless.

You want to see the freak, or what are we doing here?

I shouldn't joke, I'm sorry. Do you want to see your husband?

[Mrs. Saunders] Yeah, I'd like to see my husband.

Danny! >> [Danny] Hey, sweetie.

>> [Mrs. Saunders] Are you okay? >> [Danny] Sweetie.

[male speaker] He can walk, by the way. I didn't mess that up.

[Danny] Yeah, they said I should be wheeled out so I don't fall.

[male speaker] It's a bit dramatic, isn't it?

All right, let me tell you about your new body here.

It's going to take some getting used to.

First of all, we're lucky that the shoulders aren't rejecting the head,

so the head still has full access to all this stuff right here—

your chest, tummy, all the way down to your big old hog,

which works fine, by the way.

Look at her, she's going, "Thank you very much, Doccie."

I'm going, "Don't thank me yet. He can't munch your box anymore."

[Danny] Oh, my God—okay, mostly I think

we're just worried about—well, I'm wondering if I can breathe—

[male speaker] Oh, you've got to tell the FBI

about your new height in case there's ever a manhunt for you.

Snipers will be like, [pew] [whooshing sound] I thought he was this tall.

Other than that, my nurse, Kristi, is going to give you some literature

that should answer any other questions you should have. Kristi!

What are you doing back there? I said you're not allowed back there.

>> [Kristi] I can go back there if I want to. >> [male speaker] Fine.

[Kristi] Here you go—you're going to want to read this.

[male speaker] That's Kristi. I delivered her baby last year.

She almost didn't make it— I had to rip her neck off to save her.

The baby, too. >> [Kristi] But now she's a happy, healthy four-year-old.

[male speaker] Yep.

[Mrs. Saunders] Why do you have a picture of her in your waiting room?

[male speaker] It's covering up a safe.

[Danny] Well, I'm glad I'm alive, at least.

[male speaker] Random.

Yeah, you two lovebirds got to get on out of here, okay?

I'm up to my hog and balls in paperwork.

[Mrs. Saunders] Do we come back for physical therapy?

[male speaker] Uh-uh. No, you don't ever come back here.

You hear me? We're moving at the end of the day today to a new space.

Bigger. Big old dusty place. It's got—hey.

You just checked completely out.

I say one thing about myself and it's just— >> [Mrs. Saunders] Sorry, mister.

[male speaker] Ah, it's fine.

Honestly, I'm starving, though. You guys have got to go.

I've got another neck ripping off at five—

or appendectomy, but I'm hoping I'll have to rip his neck off.

Some evenings.

[Joanna] Hey, what's up—I'm Joanna from Above Average.

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