Food Adventure Program for Awesome People!

[S]: The Ice Cream Edition.

[F.A.P.F.A.P Theme]

[M]: Now we are are actually here in Korea, although you may not believe it, because --

[Cue Simon's Facial Hair Almanac]

-- we're here with some people, who are not from Korea.

[J]: Annyeong!

[O]: Annyeong!

[J]: We are called Korean Englishmen, or 영국남자.

[M]: And you guys are from..?

[J]: England!

[M]: And what is your favourite colour?

[J]: Hm... Red?

[M]: And what is your favourite animal?

[J]: Uhh, uhh...

[O]: LLAMA!

[M]: A Llama? [J]: Llama?

[O]: YES!

[M]: Are you just copying his answer? [J]: No, wait -- Pig!

English Pig! [O]: A Pig??

[J]: Or a bear. I like bears.

[J]: Bears. [M]: Well, make up your mind. [J]: Bears.

[J]: Bears. [O]: Bears. [J]: Bear.

[S]: These guys are actually wildly popular here in Korea.

We've got a throng of girls waiting in line over there -- [M]: Yes, waiting there.

To take pictures with them.

[M]: Where did our Englishmen go to? ( ・◇・)?

Oh. [S]: Inside there. [M]: He’s over there, on this side, over here.

Because they make videos about what it's like to be in England, experiencing Korean culture,

and Josh speaks Korean fluently throughout it, and they've got, like,

SO MANY PEOPLE THAT LOVE 'EM!

[M]: What's it like being in Korea? This is not your first time here.

[J]: No. [O]: No.

[J]: No, It’s Ollie’s 2nd time [O]: Yeah. [J]: I’ve been here a bunch of times.

[M]: You said it's fun, and it's weird -- [J]: Yep. [M]: And then, you said to us:

"Hey, we should go for Korean food!"

Right? [J]: Yeah. [O]: Ooouuuggggghhh --

[continuous groaning] [M:] And, instead of being like:

"Let's go for 삼겹살, like, 김치 찌개,"

[S]: Nooo, let’s go -- [M]: What do you want to go for?

[S]: Let's go for POISON.

[J]: That’s not exactly fair… [M]: ARE YOU SURE?

Let's take a third-party here, what was it? [S]: What did you think?

[O]: It was like death, [M]: DEATH. [O]: on a plate.

[J]: Pff! [M]: Can you guys guess what we went for?!

[Hong-eo flashbacks]

[Sounds of anguish and pain]

[Martina's evil chuckling]

[S]: Right now, we’re gonna go for something good! That people LIKE! That people ENJOY!

[M]: Let's call this, like, redemption ice cream? [S]: Yes.

[M]: This is, like, the most popular ice cream in Korea right now.

[S]: Alright… [J]: Hot stuff, which is ironic.

[BA DUM CHH]

[S]: Well, it should be cold stuff, because it's ice cream.

[Well done, Simon.]

So we're gonna go for Softree Ice Cream, and we're gonna eat it,

and make ourselves feel happy, cause we feel quite sad now.

[Rainstorm of Sadness ˃̣̣̥᷄⌓˂̣̣̥᷅] [M]: Pretty sad…

[Rainstorm of Sadness ˃̣̣̥᷄⌓˂̣̣̥᷅]

Let's go!

[Nanananananana!]

[F.A.P.F.A.P Theme]

[S]: The reason why this got so popular is because, what they usually have is just

plain ice cream, and they have a little honeycomb up top, which you're supposed to crack the honeycomb,

and eat it with the ice cream.

[M]: Unfortunately, due to the popularity of Softree, they are out of honeycombs.

[Gasp!]

[S]: This is like, our 3rd time trying to film this video.

[M]: Yes, they're constantly sold out.

；￣д￣

Although, I've heard that you have this honeycomb version --

[J]: I've had it.

[M]: But the fake version, though, right? [J]: Yeah, the fake one.

[M]: The knock-off version? [J]: Yeah, Milkcow?

It was literally, like, exactly the same. You see this little cow on there?

[M]: Yeah.

[J]: Pretty much the same. [DISHONOR ON THEM, DISHONOR ON THEIR COW!]

[M]: Okay, that's cool, because we've never tried the knock-off version, so now we can decide

if the ice cream is different. [J]: There you go.

[M]: So we got, chocolate and sea salt. [S]: Yep!

[J]: This is cotton candy and sea salt; they literally put salt on top. ...That's weird...

[M]: I'm not sure about your choice here...

[O]: This is liquid honey.

[M]: I'm gonna vote 1, 2 and 3.

[J]: Weeeell, we'll see.

Let's do it!

I'm actually really excited about this

Cotton candy is just good, and ice cream is good --

[M]: Usually, you don't dump sea salt on it though… [J]: You can combine them, and it’s gonna be good.

The salt is a spanner in the works.

That's really nice. [M]: Really? [J]: Yeah!

Have you ever had salted caramel? [M]: Yeah. [J]: Yeah, it’s kind of like that.

[M]: I guess that makes sense [J]: Because this is basically just sugar.

[Simon and Ollie proceed to destroy their ice creams.]

[M]: How does the ice cream compare to the knock off shops?

[J]: The ice cream... is denser; it's really good.

[M]: It’s creamy. [J]: Yeah, it’s really creamy.

[Continuous Dothraki Man Warrior behaviour]

[J]: Ooh, the chocolate's nice. The chocolate is good, but the salt and the chocolate I feel like don't go that well toge --

[NYAM NYAM NYAM NYAM!]

[M]: I just hit, like, a pocket of salt.

[Josh laughs at Martina's misfortune]

Someone just gave me the ocean, right in my left jaw corner.

WHY DOES EVERYTHING GO BAD WITH YOU?!

I'm, like, salivating profusely only on the left side.

[J]: Now, the other place, when I had the actual honeycomb, you don't really

really taste the ice cream that much. Just cause, you're getting chunks of honeycomb, and you have to chew through them.

This place; the ice cream alone is really yummy.

[M]: Let's get Simon and Ollie in here before their ice cream is gone.

[Glass shatters]

YOUNG MEN.

What is going on behind camera over here?

[J]: You finished it all?

[M]: Oh my GOD [J]: They ate it all, already! [M]: They’re in so much trouble.

YOU HAVEN'T EVEN SAID ANYTHING!

WHAT IS THIS?

YOU'RE NOT EVEN -- They're just eating.

[M]: Okay, they’re just blatantly [J]: They've literally finished their entire -- [M]: We’re gonna -- we’re gonna bully them in front of the camera.

[J]: They’re trying to finish it as quick as possible. [M]: Get on camera, both of you!

[O]: It was so good, I just couldn't stop.

It kind of just tastes like normal ice cream.

[S]: Yes. Like the normal ice cream

[O]: Like the kind of ice cream you'd get anywhere in the UK.

Is this unusual for Korea?

[S]: This is special for me, because they don't really have a lot of good soft serve ice cream.

[O]: Right.

[S]: A lot of it's like, overly icy stuff, so...

And you know what? I don't remember the terrible taste of fermented stingray anymore!

[Children cheering for SImon's tastebuds]

[O]: Nah, I'd have to disagree with you there.

If you watch the video, you'll probably see that I kind of barfed up a little bit of --

[S]: A lot of. [M]: “Just kind of.” [O]: …of fermented stingray.

[Josh imitates Ollie barfing]

Somewhere up here, somewhere in my skull, there is a piece of fermented stingray.

[M]: Did you guys know that Simon has an addiction, and a serious problem with ice cream?

[J]: Really? [O]: Do you go to meetings, or something…?

[M]: Yes. We did a video a little while ago, and Simon ate all the ice cream before we could even talk about it.

[ Clip from "Fell and Cole Gourmet Gastronomic Ice Cream"]

[S]: So that's it for this week's F.A.P.F.A.P, I feel happier now, and I don't remember how terrible I felt from eating that fermented stingray.

[M]: Well, we could probably just re-watch the video again, and help you feel the sadness come back to you. The overwhelming sadness.

[S]: I'd rather not watch that again, but if you'd like to see that awesome video, it's really, like,

100x better than this video, make sure you click on this pretty button right here. Check it out

[M]: You know what? Nobody at Softree was like, "This is where the ice cream comes from. Here's the mind, body, and soul of the ice cream machine."

[M]: “Here are the intestines of the ice cream machine.” [S]: Seriously, he was like, “here are the ovaries.”

[J]: "This is where the eggs come out."

[M]: "The eggs of the honeycomb machine."

[S]: “How babies are made.” [J]: “And this part; make sure you know it’s a woman.”

[S]: Unleash this bucket of, like, foul -- [O]: You're making me feel sick again sick again!

[Laughter]

[M]: We are done here; everyone, keep the warm, happy feelings of ice cream in your heart,

and let us never speak of our fermented stingray experience again, unless you wanna come back to this video.

TEAM BREAK!

[F.A.P.F.A.P Theme]