I SEND MY WRITER AMY ALONE TO A HAUNTED HOUSE,

我會把我的撰稿師Amy Alone送去鬼屋

BUT THIS YEAR, I DISCOVERED SOMETHING EVEN BETTER:

但今年，我發現更好的方法

SENDING MY PRODUCER ANDY WITH HER.

把我的製作人Andy也一起送去

LAST WEEK, I SENT THEM BOTH

上個禮拜，我把他們都

TO THE HALLOWEEN HORROR NIGHTS AT UNIVERSAL STUDIOS.

送去了環球影城的驚魂萬聖夜

IT WAS EVEN BETTER THAN I IMAGINED

結果比我所能想的

IN MY WILDEST DREAMS.

還要更棒

IT ALREADY HAS OVER 4.5 MILLION HITS ON YOUTUBE.

影片已經在youtube創下超過450萬的點閱率

AND THE OTHER DAY, I THOUGHT, "WELL, LET'S KEEP DOING THIS."

在幾天前，我想著「我們繼續下去吧！」

SO I SENT THEM BOTH TO THE QUEEN MARY'S DARK HARBOR...

所以我把他們兩個送到了瑪莉女皇的暗黑碼頭

[cheers and applause]

[笑聲與掌聲]

WHICH APPARENTLY IS EVEN SCARIER,

顯然的那裡更加的恐怖

WHICH MAKES ME EVEN HAPPIER.

也讓我更加的快樂

LET'S WATCH.

讓我們來看吧

[sinister carnival music]

[兇惡狂歡派對音樂]

- HI, ELLEN.

哈囉，Ellen

WE'RE AT THE QUEEN MARY'S DARK HARBOR,

我們現在在瑪莉女皇的暗黑碼頭

AND ANDY AND I ARE ABOUT TO GO THROUGH THE CIRCUS MAZE.

Andy和我將要穿越馬戲團迷宮

- IT'S CALLED THE CIRCUS MAZE? - ARE YOU READY?

- 它叫做馬戲團迷宮 - 你準備好了嗎?

- WE'RE GOOD. - OKAY.

- 我們很好 - 好

ANDY, YOU HAVE TO GO FIRST.

Andy你必須要走前面

OH, NO!

噢不!

I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS.

我不想要這樣

I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS. ANDY!

我不想要玩了，Andy!

- IT'S FINE. WE'RE GOOD.

沒事的，我們很好

WE'RE GOOD.

我們很好

- I DON'T LIKE THIS ONE. ANDY.

我不喜歡這個，Andy

I DON'T LIKE THIS.

我不喜歡這個

- IT'S JUST MIRRORS.

這只是鏡子

- [screams]

[尖叫]

NO! NO!

不! 不!

NO. I CAN SEE IT.

不，我看到了

- IT'S FINE. IT'S FINE.

沒事，沒事的

- [screams]

[尖叫]

- IT'S FUNNY.

很有趣的

HA-HA! IT'S FUNNY.

HA-HA!這很有趣

HONESTLY, JUST-- IT'S FUNNY.

老實說，不過是---很有趣

FUNNY. OKAY.

有趣，沒事的

- OH, MY GOD.

噢我的天

ANDY!

Andy!

- WE-- MIRRORS. GOT IT.

我們---是鏡子，明白

- ANDY, GO, GO. ANDY, GO.

Andy，走! Andy，走!

- IS THIS NORMAL? - [screams]

- 這正常嗎? -[尖叫]

[all screaming]

[滿滿的尖叫]

- AMY. - [screams]

- Amy - [尖叫]

OH, MY GOD.

噢我的天

- GO.

走

[both scream]

[雙雙尖叫]

- HOW MUCH-- - OKAY.

有多少---好吧

- HI. OKAY.

嗨，好吧

ONCE I SEE 'EM-- - GO, GO, GO.

一旦我----走!走!走!

- ONCE YOU SEE THEM, IT'S NOT BAD.

一旦你看到他們，就不恐怖了

IT'S THE--

這只是--

- [screams]

[尖叫]

- ARE WE--

我們是否要--

IS THIS THE RIGHT WAY?

這是對的方向嗎?

OKAY.

好吧

- WHERE'D THAT CHICK GO?

那個小鬼跑去哪裡了?

[screams]

[尖叫]

[all screaming]

[滿滿的尖叫]

YOU GO!

你走!

GO!

快走!!

ANDY!

Andy!!

- I SEE YOU.

我看到你了

I KNOW YOU'RE THERE.

我知道你在那

- [cackling]

[咯咯笑]

- HELLO?

哈囉?

- STOP.

停下來

- [screams]

[尖叫]

[both laugh]

[嚇到笑]

- THANK GOD WE MADE IT.

感謝上帝我們做到了

[all scream]

[滿滿的尖叫]

WE'RE GOOD. WE GOT IT.

我們很好，我們成功了

- ONCE THEY'RE OUT--

一旦他們一出去--

- YEAH.

好

- [screams]

[尖叫]

- STOP. GO.

停! 走開!

STOP.

停!!!

- [screams] - GET OUT.

- [尖叫] - 走開!!!

- STOP! WE SAW YOU!

- 停! 已經看到你了!!

- OKAY.

- 好吧

- DO YOU KNOW WHERE YOU'RE GOING?

你知道你在往哪走嗎?

- NO, I DON'T--

不，我不--

'CAUSE I DON'T-- - [growling]

因為我不---[哀號]

- OH, GOD. OKAY.

噢上帝，好吧

OKAY, NO. I SEE YOU.

好吧，我已經看到你了

[whip cracks]

[抽鞭子]

WE'RE GOOD. I'M GOOD.

我們很好，我也很好

[all scream]

[尖叫]

- OKAY.

好吧

GOT IT. I SAW YOU.

很好，我看到你了

GOOD.

很好

GOOD WORK.

演得不錯

- ANDY, PLEASE WAIT FOR ME.

Andy，拜託等等我

- I'M--WHERE AM I GOING?

我---我能往哪走?

WE'RE IN A CIRCLE!

我們在繞圈圈!

[whip cracks]

[抽鞭子]

- [cackling] - [screams]

- [咯咯笑] - [尖叫]

-ANDY! - JUST--

-Andy! - 這只是--

ANDY!

-Andy!

- [screams]

[尖叫]

- ANDY. ANDY?

- Andy Andy?

[both scream]

[雙雙尖叫]

- THAT'S IT? WE'RE GOOD.

就這樣? 我們很好

- OKAY. I THINK WE'RE GOOD.

好吧，我覺得我們很好

- OKAY. ALL RIGHT, NOW.

好吧，好吧

- I DID IT.

我做到了

[all scream]

[雙雙尖叫]

- ANDY. - OKAY.

- Andy - 好

STOP IT, YOU [bleep] WEIRDO!

停下!! 你這個[消音]怪胎!!

THANK YOU.

謝謝

THANK YOU. - THANK YOU.

- 謝謝 - 謝謝

[cheers and applause]

[歡呼與掌聲]

- OH, WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK

噢，下段還有Allison Sweeney

WITH ALLISON SWEENEY.

我們很快就回來

[cheers and applause]

[歡呼與掌聲]