I can't afford this place on my own right now.

这个公寓我一个人现在住不起。

You could get a roommate.

找个室友吧。

Okay, okay. Hear me out: The Internet.

听我讲完：网络。

Hey, thanks for coming.

嘿，谢谢你的到来。

We're just doing some interviews to see who fits best for the roommate...position.

我们就是做一些面试，看看谁最适合这室友的……职位。

Yeah, we're gonna ask you some questions, cool?

是的，我们要问一些问题，好吗？

-Uhhhhh

啊.......

How often do you clean?

你多久清洁一次?

I...I shower.

我……我冲澡。

Tell me about yourself.

说说你自己吧。

I'm really passionate about cats. And vampires.

我酷爱猫。和吸血鬼

How about vampire cats?

吸血猫呢？

[ Nods seriously, says nothing ]

（认真地点头，什么也不说)

I moved here for Uni a few years back so I'm looking for a place to settle in.

我几年前搬到这儿来上大学，所以我要找个公寓住下来。

[ Dee ]: Rachel, do you know an Officer Smith?

【迪】：瑞秋，你认识这个苏警官吗？

[ Amy ]: The relationship audit for the common law partnership of Deanne Warson and Rachel Mannt will begin?

【艾美】”汪迪安与马瑞秋的普通法关系的关系审计开始”？

My visa expires soon, if I didn't get a sponsor I'd be deported!

我的签证快要过期！如果我没有赞助者，我就会被驱逐出境！

[ Amy ]: Online videos are huge.

【艾美】：网络视频盛极了。

Start up your camera, make a couple videos acting all couple-ish

打开你的录影机，拍一些差不多一对儿的视频。

Bing, bang, boom. You've got your asses covered and I've got blackmail material for life.

乒，乓，砰。你们俩不露马脚，而且我有一辈子可用的敲诈材料。

[ Dee clears their throat ]

(迪请清嗓子)

Just kidding about the last part.

最后一部分只是开玩笑。

[ Rachel ]: I think Dee has a boyfriend.

【瑞秋】：我觉得迪有个男朋友。

[ Amy ]: Dee has you. It is rude not to tell your pretend girlfriend about your secret boyfriend, I think.

【艾美】: 迪有你。我认为不告诉你假装的女朋友关于你秘密的男朋友的情况，不礼貌。

Amy, Rachel, this is Edmond.

艾美，瑞秋，这是埃德。

I'm non-binary.

我是性别酷儿的。

[ a bite of bacon-laced confusion ]

【迷惑地咬一口熏肉】

So you're still spreading that nonsense then?

那你还在宣传那些废话？

I thought you'd grown up.

我以为你成熟了。

[ Mrs. Warson ] We all have things about ourselves that we don't like.

[汪夫人] 我们都有一些方面自己不喜欢。

And the rest of us get on with our lives.

而我们其他人继续我们的生活。

Okay, everybody has their stories down, right? Rach?

《差不多一对儿》 假配对儿，真情义

I just love you so much Deanne.

好了，大家都搞定他们的描述吗？阿秋？

Okay...Amy?

我太爱你了，迪安。

I'm in love with ass-face here.

好……艾美呢？

That's cute butt face, love.

我跟这个混蛋相爱。