[Heavy rain]

噢！

[Thunder crashing]

賭五毛你們一定很驚訝居然會在這裡找到我們：

[Thunder crashing]

「你們不是在逃跑的嗎！？」

Welcome back to Silas University!

又或許一點也不驚訝你居然又在拍影片

Oh! [Thunder crashing]

而不是抱著你那溫暖可人的…

Bet you're surprised to find us here after that whole...fleeing...thing.

嗯…呃！等一下，少女殺手. 在錄輔導級的大團圓結局呢

Or at least surprised to see you making another video instead of snuggling up with you nice warm...

輔導級. 簡直蠢炸天了

Mmm...Uhhh! Woah there lady killer. Recording the PG13 version of our happy ending here.

先更新.再親親

PG13. How incredibly dull.

話說回來，原來想通過阿爾卑斯山逃出奥地利

Update now. Smooching later.

並沒有《仙樂飄飄處處聞》看上去這麼容易

Anyway, turns out escaping Austria across the Alps, not as easy as the Sound Of Music made it out to be.

各種兇險的峽谷、我了個去的暴風雪、

Between the moving chasms, and the freak-ball blizzards, and the Styrian villagers with

以及施泰爾馬克小村村民的

torches and pitchforks. We were forced to return to campus.

那些火把跟草叉.把我們逼回校園了

But only until we can get back to the library and research up "Escape Plan 2.0"!

但我們只需要到圖書館搜集一下資料、再想出一個逃跑大計便行了！

In the meantime, we get to enjoy these swish new digs...which Carm just scored by saying some

與此同時，我們可以享受一下這超棒的落腳點…是小卡剛剛對著原本待在這裡的心理學助教們

spectacularly violent things to the Psychology TAs who were squatting here.

說一些無法直視的粗魯言辭搞過來的

"But Laura" you say, "wasn't there some business with some evil Dean? And a light demon that

「可是勞拉，」你不是說，「這裡不是有什麼邪惡的校長，還有一個

demanded a sacrifice with a very hard-to-pronounce name, that Carmilla heroically slew?

需求祭品、名字超難唸，被卡美拉英勇地的殺死的光魔嘛？

Which turned out to be less a light demon and more the shiny lure on the forehead of a

然而最後發現並不是光魔，而是前額有吸引食物的發光釣竿

very enormous and now very angry Anglerfish God, rising from the caverns below the theatre

的超巨型，又憤怒的鮟鱇魚神，它從大廈的洞穴中衝出來

building to devour the campus?" Well. Yes.

並打算吃掉校園？」嘛…你是對的

The thing is, the Anglerfish God is rather big, and, uh, the crater where the Lustig used to be

但事實是，這鮟鱇魚神是真的很大，呃，而被炸掉的盧斯蒂格大樓變成的那個坑

is rather small and so it kind of got...stuck.

是比較小的，所以那魚大概……被卡住了…

Which means that the campus is saved!

即是說校園是安全的！

Sort of. Haha.

大概吧.嘿嘿

What?

怎樣啦？

So I'm heroic, huh?

所以我很英勇，嗯？

When you're not threatening to vivisect graduate students.

只要你不是在恐嚇要生剖研究生

Well, You'd think, if I was some noble warrior goddess, that I'd be entitled to a little more adoration

嘛，你想想，如果我是些高尚的戰鬥女神，那麼我大概能從我家那天真少女那裡

from my wide-eyed maiden fair...

得到更多的愛慕…

You are unbelievable.

你真是沒救了

I guess I should just be happy you haven't found some brand-new crusade to be on.

我想我應該因為你沒有在籌劃一些新的革命而高興

We've been here for like, an hour.

我們到這裡才、一個小時吧

What kind of trouble do you think I could possibly get into?

你會以為我能搞上什麼麻煩啊？

Oh, I have all kinds of thoughts about that–

噢，關於這個我有各種各樣的想法呢──

Hey Guys, so the Library is a No-Go.

嗨大家，圖書館是去不了的了

Nobody has been able to get in for days. Uh, Perr's gone to see if anybody at the student paper

都幾天了也沒人進得去.呃，佩莉去了看看校報那邊有沒有人

knows what's going on- which means that I get a break from the-

會知道發生了什麼事──所以我能夠從

"What pronoun do I use IF..." interrogations–

「我該用什麼代詞來…」的疑問中休息一下──

Oh! Sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt anything.

噢！對不起，我不是有意打擾你們的

Excellent.

非常好

Leave now. Lock the door.

那給我馬上離開.記得鎖門

Don't listen to her. Vampire Seductress here is just crabby because I'm not falling for her 17th century idea of "game".

別聽她的. 這個勾人的吸血鬼只是在抱怨，因為我沒陷進去她那17世紀的「遊戲」

Sure...

一定是……

But more important than your twisted courtship ritual is:

但比你花樣的情感追求那更重要的是

How did you find this place? It's amazing.

你怎樣找到這個地方的？簡直阿妹精！

There's a hot tub in our bathroom. And–

浴室裡有熱水澡缸. 還有──

[thumps on the floor, which makes a hollow noise]

你聽到嗎？這裡一半的房間都有秘密通道！

Yeah? Like, half the rooms have secret passages!

我們大概需要用木板堵一下，不過還是──挺酷的，對吧？

Which we should probably board the hell up, but still– pretty cool, huh?

嗯. 你知道以前誰住在這裡嗎？

Yeah. Do we know who used to live here?

噢，唔──我相信也不是什麼重要的人

Oh– um– I'm sure it was no one important. Probably just fellowship scholars or visiting professors.

大概是些研究學者或是訪問教授吧

Lucky bastards.

幸運的混蛋

C'mon, you have got to see the big screen in our room, we've got J.P. on the Smart TV!

對了，你一定要來看看我們房裡給JP弄的大屏幕. 在智能電視上呢！

No, that's okay, I'm just going to finish up the video here.

不用了. 我打算在這拍完我的影片

"Finish up the video"...

「拍完影片」……

Sure.

肯定是啦

[Laura laughs]

好了，我說到哪了──？

Anyway, where was I--?

你真的是這樣想我的嗎？

Is that really what you think I was doing?

什麼？

What?

我用花言巧語去佔你便宜？

Using my romantic wiles to take advantage of you?

不！當然不是了！我只是在開玩笑啊！

No! No, that was a just a joke!

我的意思是，知道你是個

I mean, is it a little intimidating to know that you have like, centuries of experience as this

個有著好幾個世紀經驗的採花賊

professional despoiler of virtue?

會不會有點緊張不安？

Well...yah.

嘛…當然了

And, I did have a front row seat to last semester's cavalcade of study buddies...but...

加上，我可是近距離看過

You changed.

你上個學期那一車子的「學習好姬友」，但……

What you did for me,

你改變了.

for all of us.

你為我所做的，

You took on your Mother.

為了大家所做的事是很英勇的。

You took on a God.

你反抗了你媽媽

[Thunder crashes]

你對抗了一個神

And...maybe I am just some nineteen year-old girl who only passed her Lit Class on a vampire fighting

我可能只是個19歲的小女孩，

technicality, but...

靠一場跟吸血鬼的大戰才饒幸沒掛掉文學課，不過……

I still know how the story goes:

我也知道故事的結局會是：

Good is triumphant, and evil is vanquished.

正義必勝；邪魔殞滅

And once all of the monsters are chased away, our hero leans in for her

而當所以惡魔都被驅逐，我們的英雄探身過去索取她的

very much non-PG kiss,

少兒不宜之吻時,

and everything fades to...

萬物逐漸隱去…

[Thunder crashes]

佩莉！？

Perry?!

See that subscribe button? You should click it! [Closing theme, Love Will Have Its Sacrifices, plays]