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  • - You know what I find kind of weird?

    - 你知道我覺得奇怪的是什麼嗎?

  • The idea of a single sex talk.

    單一性談話的想法。

  • Like, one day parents decide to sit down

    比如,有一天父母決定坐下來

  • with their kid and just impart all

    與他們的孩子一起,傳授所有

  • of the knowledge about sex upon them.

    性知識。

  • Then they walk away, and it's all good.

    然後他們就走了,一切都很好。

  • Done!

    完成!

  • Oh hi, babes!

    哦,嗨,寶貝們!

  • I don't have children.

    我沒有孩子。

  • I'm not a momma and the tips I'm about to give

    我不是媽媽,我將要給出的提示

  • for having conversations about sex with kids

    與孩子們進行性對話

  • really comes from the perspective of someone

    真正來自一個人的視角

  • who recently was a kid.

    他最近還是個孩子。

  • So, just want to put it on the table.

    所以,我只想把它擺在桌面上。

  • You can take what I'm about to say

    你可以把我接下來要說的話

  • with a grain of salt or 50.

    或 50。

  • Number one, make it the sex talks.

    第一,讓它成為性愛談話。

  • Sexual development starts in childhood

    性發育始於童年

  • so that's where the conversations should start, too.

    所以,對話也應該從這裡開始。

  • By not talking about it early, it communicates

    如果不及早討論,就會傳達出

  • that sex is something that's embarrassing,

    性是一件令人尷尬的事

  • it's taboo, and that will overshadow

    它是禁忌,這將使它黯然失色

  • all of your later conversations.

    你後來所有的對話。

  • Tip number two, lay it out like it is.

    祕訣二:如實陳述。

  • I think it's so important to always

    我認為,經常

  • answer kids' questions honestly.

    誠實地回答孩子們的問題。

  • Don't lie, don't skirt around, don't use silly names

    不要撒謊,不要繞圈子,不要使用愚蠢的名字

  • and euphemisms, just be factual and to the point.

    和委婉語,只需實事求是,切中要害。

  • Son, that's your penis.

    孩子,那是你的小弟弟

  • And if they're old enough to be asking,

    如果他們到了該問的年齡、

  • they're old enough to know the answers.

    他們已經長大,知道答案了。

  • If you don't answer those questions,

    如果你不回答這些問題、

  • it will be their dopey friend Jimmy

    會是他們的笨蛋朋友吉米

  • who tries to sneak into the girl's locker room.

    他試圖溜進女生更衣室。

  • Don't ask me why, that's just how the universe works.

    別問我為什麼,宇宙就是這樣運轉的。

  • Tip number three, start the conversation.

    祕訣三,開始對話。

  • A good conversation is just that, it's a conversation.

    好的對話就是對話。

  • It's not a lecture or an interrogation

    這不是說教,也不是審問

  • and on average the parents should

    平均而言,父母應

  • be listening more than they're talking.

    傾聽多於傾訴。

  • Now you can use anything to start a conversation.

    現在,你可以用任何東西開始對話。

  • Something that's happening in your community,

    您所在社區正在發生的事情、

  • a TV show you're watching, a movie, a Youtube video, heh,

    你正在看的電視節目、電影、Youtube 視頻,呵呵、

  • or broad, open-ended questions.

    或寬泛、開放式的問題。

  • Emphasis on the broad.

    強調寬泛。

  • Asking specific, personal questions

    提出具體的個人問題

  • can feel like an invasion of privacy

    會感覺侵犯隱私

  • which really isn't very inviting to open up.

    這真的不是很吸引人去打開。

  • It just shuts the conversation down.

    這隻會讓對話戛然而止。

  • It's really important not to share anything

    不分享任何東西真的很重要

  • they tell you with extended family or siblings, secret time.

    他們會告訴你與大家庭或兄弟姐妹的祕密時間。

  • Tip number four, yes indeed, sex is a part of life.

    祕訣四,是的,性確實是生活的一部分。

  • Starting around ten to 13, sexual feelings start to kick in.

    從十歲到十三歲左右,性感覺開始萌發。

  • Do not panic.

    不要驚慌。

  • This is normal and it's healthy.

    這是正常的,也是健康的。

  • Most parents in the U.S. freak out.

    美國的大多數父母都嚇壞了。

  • They deny, deny, deny, they chastise.

    他們否認、否認、否認,他們責備。

  • You better not have sex or I'll kick you out of this house.

    你最好別做愛 否則我就把你踢出這房子

  • Pretty sure I heard those exact lines like 20 times?

    這些臺詞我肯定聽了有 20 遍了吧?

  • And yet, it never stopped me from having sex.

    然而,這從未阻止過我的性生活。

  • Sorry Mom and Dad!

    對不起,爸媽

  • All chastising does is one, tells them to tune out.

    所有的責備都只是讓他們閉嘴。

  • La la la.

    啦啦啦

  • Two, to be secretive about it, and three,

    其二,對此保密,其三、

  • it tells them that they can't come to you for help.

    它告訴他們,他們不能向你尋求幫助。

  • Number five, show respect to get respect.

    第五,尊重別人才能得到別人的尊重。

  • I can't tell you how many emails I've gotten

    我無法告訴你我收到了多少封電子郵件

  • from younger kids in my audience whose parents

    他們的父母

  • have said terrible things to them.

    對他們說了可怕的話。

  • Calling them a slut, telling them they'll never be loved.

    說她們是蕩婦,告訴她們永遠不會有人愛她們。

  • I mean, some of it is just straight up abusive.

    我的意思是,有些人簡直就是在辱罵。

  • It's so important to show respect not just

    表示尊重非常重要,不僅僅是

  • in your language and how you talk to them,

    你的語言以及你與他們交談的方式、

  • but by teaching them that their body doesn't belong to you,

    但要教會他們,他們的身體並不屬於你、

  • their boyfriend, to their girlfriend,

    他們的男朋友,他們的女朋友、

  • it belongs to themselves.

    它屬於他們自己。

  • Number six, you are normal.

    第六,你很正常。

  • I wish someone older had been

    我希望有更老的人

  • there to tell me that it's all normal.

    告訴我這一切都很正常。

  • It would have made such a difference.

    這將使情況大不相同。

  • Don't dismiss teen love, heartbreaks, rejection.

    不要忽視青少年的愛情、心碎和拒絕。

  • Teenagers go through a lot of first times

    青少年會經歷許多第一次

  • with real, raw emotions.

    真實、原始的情感。

  • It's super intense!

    超級緊張

  • Don't forget how real it is.

    別忘了它有多真實。

  • Number seven, what should you actually talk about?

    第七,你究竟應該談些什麼?

  • Not just pregnancy and STIs.

    不僅僅是懷孕和性傳播感染。

  • (gasps)

    (喘氣)

  • Masturbation, menstruation, sexual orientation

    手淫、月經、性取向

  • and gender identity, healthy relationships,

    和性別認同、健康的人際關係、

  • abusive relationships, rape, sexual assault,

    虐待關係、強姦、性侵犯、

  • readiness for sex, safer sex, sexual pleasure,

    性準備、安全性行為、性快感、

  • communication, consent, how to respect your partner's body,

    溝通、同意、如何尊重伴侶的身體、

  • objectification, body image, self esteem,

    物化、身體形象、自尊

  • and of course, your beliefs and values.

    當然還有你的信仰和價值觀。

  • This is a non-exhaustive list, of course, but

    當然,這並不是一份詳盡的清單,但是

  • I think each of these topics should be

    我認為每個主題都應該

  • a series of conversations that are age appropriate

    一系列與年齡相適應的對話

  • and become more complex as they age.

    並隨著年齡的增長而變得更加複雜。

  • Number eight, it should be abundantly clear

    第八,應該非常清楚

  • what they deserve.

    他們應得的。

  • They deserve happiness, they deserve safety.

    他們應該得到幸福,他們應該得到安全。

  • They deserve a healthy, pleasurable sex life.

    他們應該擁有健康、愉悅的性生活。

  • They deserve to feel good about their body.

    她們應該對自己的身體感覺良好。

  • They deserve to be respected.

    他們理應受到尊重。

  • So many people don't know that they

    很多人不知道他們

  • actually deserve this, it's kind of scary actually.

    這其實是我應得的,這其實有點嚇人。

  • So, say it!

    那就說出來吧!

  • And you can encourage them to really embrace that

    你可以鼓勵他們真正接受這一點

  • and live it by setting an example yourself.

    並以身作則,身體力行。

  • Number nine, here's where you can get things.

    第九,你可以在這裡買到東西。

  • When it comes to birth control, condoms, parents gotta help.

    說到節育、保險套,家長們得幫幫忙。

  • Don't expect them to figure it out on their own.

    不要指望他們自己能弄明白。

  • Some will go to the hassle but others won't.

    有些人會費盡周折,但有些人不會。

  • It's also a good idea to encourage ongoing

    此外,還應該鼓勵持續開展以下活動

  • self-education by pointing them toward

    通過引導他們

  • good books and good websites or

    好書和好網站

  • even other people that you trust.

    甚至是你信任的其他人。

  • And number ten, even if you had some awkward

    第十,即使你有一些尷尬

  • or tense exchanges, all any kid wants is to know

    或緊張的交流,孩子們只想知道

  • that their parents are gonna be there.

    他們的父母會在那裡。

  • And this becomes so important if, god forbid,

    如果上帝保佑,這一點變得如此重要、

  • they're assaulted or they have a pregnancy scare,

    她們被毆打,或者懷孕了、

  • or they're questioning their sexual orientation.

    或者他們在懷疑自己的性取向。

  • They've got to feel safe coming to their parents

    他們必須對父母有安全感

  • to talk about it, otherwise they can and do go at it alone.

    否則,他們就會單獨行動。

  • So you can let them know that it's safe to come to you

    這樣你就能讓他們知道,來找你是安全的

  • with all these tips but also just by saying it.

    有了所有這些技巧,還可以直接說出來。

  • No matter how big of a mistake you make,

    無論你犯了多大的錯誤、

  • no matter how embarrassing it seems,

    無論看起來多麼尷尬、

  • you can always come to me and talk to me

    你可以隨時來找我,和我談談

  • and we'll figure it out.

    我們會解決的

  • I think that's the most important thing

    我認為這是最重要的事情

  • that you can convey to a kid.

    可以傳達給孩子。

  • All right babes, what would you add to this list?

    好了,寶貝們,你們還想在這份清單上加上什麼?

  • Let me know down below or on my Facebook page or my Twitter.

    請在下面或我的 Facebook 頁面或 Twitter 上告訴我。

  • Love you all so, so much and I wish you the

    我非常非常愛你們,祝願你們

  • healthiest and happiest of sex talks with your family.

    與家人進行最健康、最快樂的性對話。

  • I'll see you next time, muah.

    下次見,穆阿

  • Peace be with everyone

    願和平與大家同在

  • Except your mom, oh, what

    除了你媽媽 哦 什麼

- You know what I find kind of weird?

- 你知道我覺得奇怪的是什麼嗎?

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