The idea of a single sex talk.

單一性談話的想法。

Like, one day parents decide to sit down

比如，有一天父母決定坐下來

with their kid and just impart all

與他們的孩子一起，傳授所有

of the knowledge about sex upon them.

性知識。

Then they walk away, and it's all good.

然後他們就走了，一切都很好。

Done!

完成！

Oh hi, babes!

哦，嗨，寶貝們！

I don't have children.

我沒有孩子。

I'm not a momma and the tips I'm about to give

我不是媽媽，我將要給出的提示

for having conversations about sex with kids

與孩子們進行性對話

really comes from the perspective of someone

真正來自一個人的視角

who recently was a kid.

他最近還是個孩子。

So, just want to put it on the table.

所以，我只想把它擺在桌面上。

You can take what I'm about to say

你可以把我接下來要說的話

with a grain of salt or 50.

或 50。

Number one, make it the sex talks.

第一，讓它成為性愛談話。

Sexual development starts in childhood

性發育始於童年

so that's where the conversations should start, too.

所以，對話也應該從這裡開始。

By not talking about it early, it communicates

如果不及早討論，就會傳達出

that sex is something that's embarrassing,

性是一件令人尷尬的事

it's taboo, and that will overshadow

它是禁忌，這將使它黯然失色

all of your later conversations.

你後來所有的對話。

Tip number two, lay it out like it is.

祕訣二：如實陳述。

I think it's so important to always

我認為，經常

answer kids' questions honestly.

誠實地回答孩子們的問題。

Don't lie, don't skirt around, don't use silly names

不要撒謊，不要繞圈子，不要使用愚蠢的名字

and euphemisms, just be factual and to the point.

和委婉語，只需實事求是，切中要害。

Son, that's your penis.

孩子，那是你的小弟弟

And if they're old enough to be asking,

如果他們到了該問的年齡、

they're old enough to know the answers.

他們已經長大，知道答案了。

If you don't answer those questions,

如果你不回答這些問題、

it will be their dopey friend Jimmy

會是他們的笨蛋朋友吉米

who tries to sneak into the girl's locker room.

他試圖溜進女生更衣室。

Don't ask me why, that's just how the universe works.

別問我為什麼，宇宙就是這樣運轉的。

Tip number three, start the conversation.

祕訣三，開始對話。

A good conversation is just that, it's a conversation.

好的對話就是對話。

It's not a lecture or an interrogation

這不是說教，也不是審問

and on average the parents should

平均而言，父母應

be listening more than they're talking.

傾聽多於傾訴。

Now you can use anything to start a conversation.

現在，你可以用任何東西開始對話。

Something that's happening in your community,

您所在社區正在發生的事情、

a TV show you're watching, a movie, a Youtube video, heh,

你正在看的電視節目、電影、Youtube 視頻，呵呵、

or broad, open-ended questions.

或寬泛、開放式的問題。

Emphasis on the broad.

強調寬泛。

Asking specific, personal questions

提出具體的個人問題

can feel like an invasion of privacy

會感覺侵犯隱私

which really isn't very inviting to open up.

這真的不是很吸引人去打開。

It just shuts the conversation down.

這隻會讓對話戛然而止。

It's really important not to share anything

不分享任何東西真的很重要

they tell you with extended family or siblings, secret time.

他們會告訴你與大家庭或兄弟姐妹的祕密時間。

Tip number four, yes indeed, sex is a part of life.

祕訣四，是的，性確實是生活的一部分。

Starting around ten to 13, sexual feelings start to kick in.

從十歲到十三歲左右，性感覺開始萌發。

Do not panic.

不要驚慌。

This is normal and it's healthy.

這是正常的，也是健康的。

Most parents in the U.S. freak out.

美國的大多數父母都嚇壞了。

They deny, deny, deny, they chastise.

他們否認、否認、否認，他們責備。

You better not have sex or I'll kick you out of this house.

你最好別做愛 否則我就把你踢出這房子

Pretty sure I heard those exact lines like 20 times?

這些臺詞我肯定聽了有 20 遍了吧？

And yet, it never stopped me from having sex.

然而，這從未阻止過我的性生活。

Sorry Mom and Dad!

對不起，爸媽

All chastising does is one, tells them to tune out.

所有的責備都只是讓他們閉嘴。

La la la.

啦啦啦

Two, to be secretive about it, and three,

其二，對此保密，其三、

it tells them that they can't come to you for help.

它告訴他們，他們不能向你尋求幫助。

Number five, show respect to get respect.

第五，尊重別人才能得到別人的尊重。

I can't tell you how many emails I've gotten

我無法告訴你我收到了多少封電子郵件

from younger kids in my audience whose parents

他們的父母

have said terrible things to them.

對他們說了可怕的話。

Calling them a slut, telling them they'll never be loved.

說她們是蕩婦，告訴她們永遠不會有人愛她們。

I mean, some of it is just straight up abusive.

我的意思是，有些人簡直就是在辱罵。

It's so important to show respect not just

表示尊重非常重要，不僅僅是

in your language and how you talk to them,

你的語言以及你與他們交談的方式、

but by teaching them that their body doesn't belong to you,

但要教會他們，他們的身體並不屬於你、

their boyfriend, to their girlfriend,

他們的男朋友，他們的女朋友、

it belongs to themselves.

它屬於他們自己。

Number six, you are normal.

第六，你很正常。

I wish someone older had been

我希望有更老的人

there to tell me that it's all normal.

告訴我這一切都很正常。

It would have made such a difference.

這將使情況大不相同。

Don't dismiss teen love, heartbreaks, rejection.

不要忽視青少年的愛情、心碎和拒絕。

Teenagers go through a lot of first times

青少年會經歷許多第一次

with real, raw emotions.

真實、原始的情感。

It's super intense!

超級緊張

Don't forget how real it is.

別忘了它有多真實。

Number seven, what should you actually talk about?

第七，你究竟應該談些什麼？

Not just pregnancy and STIs.

不僅僅是懷孕和性傳播感染。

(gasps)

（喘氣）

Masturbation, menstruation, sexual orientation

手淫、月經、性取向

and gender identity, healthy relationships,

和性別認同、健康的人際關係、

abusive relationships, rape, sexual assault,

虐待關係、強姦、性侵犯、

readiness for sex, safer sex, sexual pleasure,

性準備、安全性行為、性快感、

communication, consent, how to respect your partner's body,

溝通、同意、如何尊重伴侶的身體、

objectification, body image, self esteem,

物化、身體形象、自尊

and of course, your beliefs and values.

當然還有你的信仰和價值觀。

This is a non-exhaustive list, of course, but

當然，這並不是一份詳盡的清單，但是

I think each of these topics should be

我認為每個主題都應該

a series of conversations that are age appropriate

一系列與年齡相適應的對話

and become more complex as they age.

並隨著年齡的增長而變得更加複雜。

Number eight, it should be abundantly clear

第八，應該非常清楚

what they deserve.

他們應得的。

They deserve happiness, they deserve safety.

他們應該得到幸福，他們應該得到安全。

They deserve a healthy, pleasurable sex life.

他們應該擁有健康、愉悅的性生活。

They deserve to feel good about their body.

她們應該對自己的身體感覺良好。

They deserve to be respected.

他們理應受到尊重。

So many people don't know that they

很多人不知道他們

actually deserve this, it's kind of scary actually.

這其實是我應得的，這其實有點嚇人。

So, say it!

那就說出來吧！

And you can encourage them to really embrace that

你可以鼓勵他們真正接受這一點

and live it by setting an example yourself.

並以身作則，身體力行。

Number nine, here's where you can get things.

第九，你可以在這裡買到東西。

When it comes to birth control, condoms, parents gotta help.

說到節育、保險套，家長們得幫幫忙。

Don't expect them to figure it out on their own.

不要指望他們自己能弄明白。

Some will go to the hassle but others won't.

有些人會費盡周折，但有些人不會。

It's also a good idea to encourage ongoing

此外，還應該鼓勵持續開展以下活動

self-education by pointing them toward

通過引導他們

good books and good websites or

好書和好網站

even other people that you trust.

甚至是你信任的其他人。

And number ten, even if you had some awkward

第十，即使你有一些尷尬

or tense exchanges, all any kid wants is to know

或緊張的交流，孩子們只想知道

that their parents are gonna be there.

他們的父母會在那裡。

And this becomes so important if, god forbid,

如果上帝保佑，這一點變得如此重要、

they're assaulted or they have a pregnancy scare,

她們被毆打，或者懷孕了、

or they're questioning their sexual orientation.

或者他們在懷疑自己的性取向。

They've got to feel safe coming to their parents

他們必須對父母有安全感

to talk about it, otherwise they can and do go at it alone.

否則，他們就會單獨行動。

So you can let them know that it's safe to come to you

這樣你就能讓他們知道，來找你是安全的

with all these tips but also just by saying it.

有了所有這些技巧，還可以直接說出來。

No matter how big of a mistake you make,

無論你犯了多大的錯誤、

no matter how embarrassing it seems,

無論看起來多麼尷尬、

you can always come to me and talk to me

你可以隨時來找我，和我談談

and we'll figure it out.

我們會解決的

I think that's the most important thing

我認為這是最重要的事情

that you can convey to a kid.

可以傳達給孩子。

All right babes, what would you add to this list?

好了，寶貝們，你們還想在這份清單上加上什麼？

Let me know down below or on my Facebook page or my Twitter.

請在下面或我的 Facebook 頁面或 Twitter 上告訴我。

Love you all so, so much and I wish you the

我非常非常愛你們，祝願你們

healthiest and happiest of sex talks with your family.

與家人進行最健康、最快樂的性對話。

I'll see you next time, muah.

下次見，穆阿

♫ Peace be with everyone

願和平與大家同在

♫ Except your mom, oh, what ♫

除了你媽媽 哦 什麼