Name: 【TED】亞絲萍·貝克: 更適當談論墮胎的方法 (Aspen Baker: A better way to talk about abortion)
Uploaded: 2015-09-23T22:00:00.000Z
Duration: 10 min 59 s

It was the middle of summer and well past closing time in the downtown Berkeley bar where my friend Polly and I worked together as bartenders.

那是仲夏的某日，在柏克萊鬧區一間小酒吧裡，早過了打烊的時間，我和我的朋友波莉在裡面當酒保。

Usually at the end of our shift we had a drink -- but not that night.

通常我們會在下班後小酌一番， 但那晚沒有。

Not sure what I'm going to do yet," I told Polly.

Without hesitation, she replied, "I've had an abortion."

我沒有一絲猶豫這樣告訴波莉，她回答， 「我以前墮過胎。」

Before Polly, no one had ever told me that she'd had an abortion.

波莉是第一個告訴我 曾有過墮胎經驗的人。

I'd graduated from college just a few months earlier

我在那之前幾個月才從大學畢業，

and I was in a new relationship when I found out that I was pregnant.

當我發現我懷孕了，那時我才剛交了新男朋友。

When I thought about my choices, I honestly did not know how to decide,

我考慮著各式選項， 真的不知道該如何抉擇，

How would I know what the right decision was?

我怎麼知道哪個才是正確的決定？

I worried that I would regret an abortion later.

Coming of age on the beaches of Southern California,

I grew up in the middle of our nation's abortion wars.

在這個國家的墮胎權之爭中長大。

I was born in a trailer on the third anniversary of Roe vs. Wade.

「羅訴韋德案」判決後三週年，我在一輛小拖車中出生。

我們的社區是愛衝浪的基督徒。

We cared about God, the less fortunate, and the ocean.

我們的心中掛念著神、 困乏的人，和海洋。

As a kid, the idea of abortion made me so sad that I knew if I ever got pregnant

孩童時，墮胎這個概念讓我非常難過，

我知道如果我懷孕了， 我一定不要墮胎。

But Polly had given me a very special gift:

但是波莉給了我 一項非常特別的禮物：

and the realization that abortion was something that we can talk about.

我也領悟到原來墮胎 是可以拿出來談的。

According to the Guttmacher Institute, one in three women in America

據古馬社機構所說， 每三位美國婦女

But for the last few decades, the dialogue around abortion in the United States

但是在美國，過去幾十年對墮胎的對話

has left little room for anything beyond pro-life and pro-choice.

侷限在生命權對選擇權的討論。

But as much as abortion is hotly debated, it's still rare for us,

即使墮胎的爭論如火如荼， 對我們而言，

whether as fellow women or even just as fellow people,

不管是同為女性， 或僅是同為人，

to talk with one another about the abortions that we have.

我們仍然很難討論彼此墮胎的經驗。

Between what happens in politics and what happens in real life,

and in that gap, a battlefield mentality.

而在那道鴻溝中，存著殺戮戰場的心態。

An "are you with us or against us?" stance takes root.

「非友即敵」的立場根深蒂固。

There are so many important issues that we can't talk about.

還有很多重要的問題 我們都不能說。

And so finding ways to shift the conflict to a place of conversation

所以想辦法將衝突改變為對話，

So, 15 years ago, I cofounded an organization called Exhale

15 年前，我與人共創一家 名叫「舒氣」的組織，

to start listening to people who have had abortions.

The first thing we did was create a talk-line, where women and men

首先我們成立一條輔導專線，不分男女

都能打電話進來， 在情緒上得到支持。

Free of judgment and politics, believe it or not, nothing like our service

這裡沒有論斷，也不談政治。 信不信像我們這樣的服務

We needed a new framework that could hold all the experiences that we were

我們在專線上聽到的所有經歷。

The personal experiences that weren't fitting neatly into one box or the other.

個人的經歷無法套進現有的框框。

We didn't think it was right to ask women to pick a side.

我們無法認同要求婦女選邊站。

We wanted to show them that the whole world was on their side,

as they were going through this deeply personal experience.

在她們度過這段深切的個人經歷時， 整個世界都站在她們那邊。

Beyond abortion, pro-voice works on hard issues that we've struggled with globally

issues like immigration, religious tolerance, violence against women.

像是移民、宗教寬容、 對婦女施暴等問題。

It also works on deeply personal topics that might only matter to you

它也處理切身的個人問題， 只有你自己、

你的直系親屬及摯友才會關心。

They have a terminal illness, their mother just died,

有人得了絕症， 有人的母親剛去世，

they have a child with special needs and they can't talk about it.

有人的孩子需要特殊教育 卻無法拿出來談。

Listening and storytelling are the hallmarks of pro-voice practice.

聽故事與講故事是優聲權的兩大特點。

Sounds maybe, easy? We could all do that.

聽起來好像很容易？ 我們都會做。

Pro-voice is hard because we are talking about things everyone's fighting about

優聲權很難，因為我們在談的， 是每個人都在爭論

or the things that no one wants to talk about.

I wish I could tell you that when you decide to be pro-voice, that you'll find

我真希望我能告訴你， 當你決定要「優聲」，

beautiful moments of breakthrough and gardens full of flowers,

你會發現突破的美麗瞬間， 園子開滿了鮮花，

where listening and storytelling creates wonderful "a-ha" moments.

在那裡，講故事與說故事能產生美妙的頓悟時刻。

I wish I could tell you that there would be a feminist welcoming party for you,

我真希望我能告訴你們會有一個女權歡迎會在等著你們，

or that there's a long-lost sisterhood of people who are just ready

在你們被徹底擊敗時張手等你們回來。

But it can be vulnerable and exhausting to tell our own stories

但是訴說自己的故事卻是身心俱疲的，

尤其在你覺得沒人在乎的時候。

we will hear things that demand that we shift our own perceptions.

我們會聽到需要我們設身處地的故事。

There is no perfect time and there is no perfect place

永遠沒有完美的時刻與完美的地點

There's never a time when everyone will be on the same page, share the same lens,

永遠不會有什麼時刻，大家想法一致、看法一致，

So, let's talk about listening and how to be a good listener.

所以，就來談談傾聽的技巧，怎樣變成好的聆聽者。

There's lots of ways to be a good listener and I'm going to give you just a couple.

有很多方法能成為好的聆聽者，我在這裡跟你們說幾個。

其中一個就是要問開放式問題。

You can ask yourself or someone that you know,

Another way to be a good listener is to use reflective language.

另一個成為好的聆聽者的方法是用反映語法。

If someone is talking about their own personal experience,

如果有人在談他們的個人經驗，

If someone is talking about an abortion and they say the word "baby,"

如果有人在談墮胎時 用了「寶貝」這個字，

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【TED】亞絲萍·貝克: 更適當談論墮胎的方法 (Aspen Baker: A better way to talk about abortion)

talk

listening

feel

word