AND I THOUGHT I WOULD HELP HER AUDITION.

AND, LIKE I SAID, I WROTE A SCENE.

THE ONLY PROBLEM IS, YOU HAVE NOT SEEN IT OR READ IT YET.

- RIGHT. - SO YOU'LL JUST--YOU'LL JUST--

YOU'LL SEE. IT'S VERY EASY.

SO YOU JUST HAVE TO READ THE TELEPROMPTER

AND ACT ACCORDINGLY, AND... - OKAY.

- THIS IS YOUR AUDITION TAPE, SO, UH, READY?

- READY, YES. - ALL RIGHT, HERE WE GO.

[theme music]

[cheers and applause]

- EXCUSE ME, LADY GWENDERMERE OF WEST BEDFORD APPLEBEE'S.

- YES, COUNTESS PENELOPE

OF I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S NOT BUTTERSWORTH.

[laughter]

- YOU LOOK SURPRISED TO SEE ME.

- NO, NO. THAT'S BECAUSE MY HAIR MAID TIED MY CORSET TOO TIGHT.

PRAY TELL ME, WHAT BRINGS YOU TO DOWNTON?

- I NEED YOUR HELP FORSOOTH.

- FOR WHAT? - FORSOOTH.

- BLESS YOU.

[laughter]

- MIGHT I TROUBLE YOU FOR A MOMENT OF YOUR TIME?

- OF COURSE, PLEASE SIT.

[laughter]

I MUST--I MUST SAY, I DIDN'T EXPECT TO SEE YOU

SO SOON AFTER YOUR ACCIDENT.

- MY ACCIDENT?

- YES, THE TERRIBLE FALL.

THE ONE THAT CAUSED YOU

TO START CHANGING YOUR ACCENT UNCONTROLLABLY.

- [Australian accent] OH, YES, OF COURSE.

THAT ACCIDENT. HOW COULD I FORGET?

[laughter]

[Southern accent] I RECKON IT'S BEEN--

I RECKON IT'S BEEN GETTIN' A BIT BETTER.

- OH, AND I IMAGINE IT'S BEEN VERY, VERY DIFFICULT

ON YOUR WHOLE FAMILY AS WELL.

- [Russian accent] YA, IT'S BEEN REAL FUDDY-DUDDY,

ALL OF US, YA.

- YES.

EVEN BEFORE THE ACCIDENT, YOU HAD SO MUCH TROUBLE

CONTROLLING THE MOVEMENT OF YOUR ARMS.

THEY WOULD FLY UP AT ANY TIME WITHOUT WARNING.

- I WISH I COULD SAY IT'S ALL BEHIND ME,

BUT IT IS MUCH BETTER NOW THAN IT WAS.

STILL, I AM NOT ALLOWED TO BE AROUND THE GOOD CHINA.

- OH, AND DO YOU STILL BARK LIKE A DOG WHENEVER A BELL RINGS?

- SADLY, YES.

- MM, TERRIBLE. JUST TERRIBLE.

I WANT YOU TO TELL ME WHY YOU CAME TO SEE ME,

BUT FIRST LET'S HAVE SOME TEA.

I'LL CALL FOR THE BUTLER.

[bell rings]

- [barking]

- HE'LL BE HERE SHORTLY.

PLEASE TELL ME WHAT YOUR TROUBLE IS, MY CHILD.

[bell rings]

- [barking]

WELL, IT STARTED TWO WEEKS AGO WHEN...

[barking]

MY MOTHER--

[laughter]

MY BROTHER BRADLEY WAS BATTLED AND BONKED THE BUTLER.

NOW HIS WIFE IS CHUFFED THAT HE'S CHEATING.

SHE'S TAKEN A--

SHE'S TAKEN TO TALKING A LOAD OF CODSWALLOP

THAT'S MAKING THE VIC A DICKEY.

[laughter]

- YOU DON'T SAY?

[bell rings]

- [Boston accent] EVEN TALKIN' ABOUT IT IS WICKED HARD.

[laughter]

[barking]

- AND, SCENE.

[cheers and applause]

LOOK FOR MINNIE DRIVER ON THE NEXT SEASON OF "DOWNTON ABBEY."

AND "ABOUT A BOY" PREMIERS

AFTER THE OLYMPICS THIS SUNDAY NIGHT.

WE'LL BE BACK.