MONICA: Hi. CHANDLER: Hey.

莫妮卡：嗨。錢德勒：嘿。

-Welcome home. -Oh well, look at you.

-歡迎回家。-哇，瞧妳

-Yeah. What do you think? -Well, it's great. It's just--

-你覺得怎麼樣？-噢，不錯啊。只是—

well, I'm wearing the same thing underneath. MONICA: Oh.

-呃，我底下也穿一樣的衣服。莫妮卡：噢。

[Audience laughing]

[觀眾大笑聲]

See what I mean?

妳知道我在說什麼吧？

[Loud thud at the door]

[大力撞門聲]

JOEY: Hey! How come your door's locked? -Just a second.

喬伊：喂！你們家怎麼是鎖著的？-這就來了。

-No, no, no, no, no. Joey can't know that I'm here.

-不不不，別開門。喬伊不能看到我在這裡。

-Why not? -Because I didn't know how to tell him...

-為什麼不行？-因為我不知道該怎麼解釋…

...that I couldn't go to the Knicks game. So, I just told him that I had to stay in Tulsa

…我跟他說我人在土爾沙，無法跟他去看尼克斯隊的比賽

-So, you lied to him?

-你騙他？

-Achhh. It's always better to lie than to have the complicated discussion.

-拜託，小小的謊言總比糾纏不清的爭論要來得好吧

Except with you. [Joey turns the knob several times]

當然，妳是例外。[喬伊仍試著開門把]

-Hey! Open the door. What's going on?

-喂！開個門，發生什麼事了？

[He knocks]

[喬伊再度敲門]

MONICA: Hi! -What are you-- Why are you dressed like that?

莫妮卡：嗨！-妳在做什—妳幹嘛穿成這樣？

-Oh, because, um... well, Chandler's going to be home

-嗯，因為，呃…你知道的，錢德勒再過幾天…

in a couple of days. So, I thought I would, just, uh,

…就要回家了，所以我想，呃，我只是…

you know, practice the art of seduction. -Oh, I thought I heard a man's voice before.

你瞭的，試著練習色誘他。-喔。但我好像聽到男人的聲音。

-Oh I was just doing Chandler's side of the conversation. You know, like,

-那是我啦，只是假裝錢德勒的獨角對話。像這樣：

"Hi, how do I look?" (As Chandler) "Really sexy.

“嗨，我看起來如何？”（模仿錢德勒的聲音）“真的很性感，

Could I BE any more turned on?"

妳讓我熱血沸騰。”

[Audience laughing]

[觀眾大笑聲]

-Okay. Whoa, whoa.

-好吧。等等。

Why are there two glasses of wine out? -Because, one of them is for you!

為什麼桌上倒了兩杯葡萄酒？-因為呢，有一杯是要給你的！

Cheers. Okay, bye-bye!

乾杯。好了，掰掰！

-You know, it's funny. I've been, ah,

很好笑。我在，嗯，

practicing the art of seduction myself.

試著練習色誘自己

Hi ya.

喔耶

[Audience laughing]

[觀眾大笑聲]

-You might want to keep practicing. -Yah.

-你可能想要繼續練習下去。-是啊。

[Chandler's cell phone rings]

[錢德勒的手機鈴聲]

It's Joey. -What?

喬伊打來的。-什麼？

Hey Joe. -Dude, come home!

喂，喬伊。-老兄，快回家！

[Audience laughing]

[觀眾大笑聲]

-What? Why? -COME. HOME.

-啥？為什麼？- 快！回！家！

[Audience laughing]

[觀眾大笑聲]

-Look I, I can't. What's going on? -I don't know how to tell you this but, uh...

-聽著，我現在走不開。到底怎麼啦？-我不知這該怎麼開口，呃…

I think Monica's cheatin' on ya.

我認為莫妮卡背著你偷人。

I told you shouldn't have married someone so much hotter than you.

我老早就警告你別娶比你性感的人了。

[Audience laughing and applauding]

[觀眾大笑聲及拍手聲]

All right look. If you can't come home...

聽著，若你現在無法趕回來…

...and deal with this, then I'm gonna. -NO!

…處理這件事，我就要插手了。-別！

-I just heard him!

-我聽到他的聲音了！

[Audience laughing and applauding]

[觀眾大笑聲及拍手聲]

-(softly) Can you... hear him... now?

-（低聲）那…你現在…聽到他嗎？

[Audience laughing]

[觀眾大笑聲]

-No. All right, I'm going in. -NO! WAIT!

-現在沒有。我要破門而入了。-不！等等！

-I heard him again!

他又出聲了！

[Audience laughing and applauding]

[觀眾大笑聲及拍手聲]

-All right, look. Just stay there. I'm coming home.

-好好好，你待著別動，我立刻趕回來。

-Okay. Great. I'll see you when you get here.

-很好，回來時見。

I'm gonna wait out in the hall in case the dude comes out.

我就在走廊上待著等這位仁兄走出來。

[Audience laughing]

[觀眾大笑聲]

-Is that really necessary? -Absolutely. You'd do it for me.

-有這個必要嗎？-當然，換做是你也會為了我這麼做。

Not that you ever have to because I know how to keep my women satisfied.

這麼說不表示你有機會這麼做，因為我知道該怎麼滿足我的女人。

[Audience laughing]

[觀眾大笑聲]

♪

♪

[Audience laughing]

[觀眾大笑聲]

-Yeah, I didn't stay for the detention, I'm not gonna read the report card.

-沒錯，我沒有被留校察看過，也不會唸成績單給你聽。

[Audience laughing]

[觀眾大笑聲]

-Hello. -(screaming) Ahhh! Leonard! Hi!

-哈囉。-（尖叫）啊啊啊…！倫納德！嗨！

-Keep your voice down. -Oh, my God.

-小聲一點。-喔，天哪。

You weren't supposed to be here till Sunday. -(whispering) We finished the experiment early,

你不是要到禮拜天才回來嗎。-（耳語）我提早完成實驗，

so I thought I'd come home and surprise you. -Oh, my gosh, why are we whispering?

所以就想說來妳這裡給妳一個驚喜。-噢，我們為什麼要耳語？

-I didn't tell Sheldon, so we could have a few days alone.

我沒有跟謝爾頓說我要提早回來，這樣我們就可以多出幾天獨處了。

-Oh, that is so romantic. -Uh, sure, that's why I did it.

哇，這太浪漫了。-呃，是啊，所以我才這麼做嘛。

[Audience laughing]

[觀眾大笑聲]

-Oh, I just cannot believe you're here. SHELDON: Penny, it's your lucky day.

-我不敢相信你真的出現在我面前。謝爾頓：佩妮，今天是妳的幸運日

Three of the eggs are clearly not jumbo. Grab your keys.

有三顆蛋明顯不夠大，拎著你的鑰匙吧。

[Audience laughing]

[觀眾大笑聲]

-I'm sorry. I'm just distracted by something that happened over at Penny's.

我很抱歉，我只是因為佩妮的一些事情分了神

-What happened? -I fear Penny is being unfaithful to Leonard.

-發生什麼事了？-我認為佩妮對倫納德不忠。

-What? -She claimed to be alone when there was obviously...

-什麼？-佩妮說她想獨處，但很顯然地…

...someone else in her apartment. I have no choice but to assume the worst,

…她的公寓裡還有其他人。我只能假設最糟的狀況

given Leonard's lengthy sea voyage and her famously ravenous nether regions.

尤其因為這一陣子倫納德在海上做研究，而佩妮的下半身又是出了名的慾求不滿

[Audience laughing]

[觀眾大笑聲]

-I don't think Penny would cheat on Leonard. -Oh, really?

-但我真的不認為佩妮會對倫納德不忠。-噢，妳這樣想嗎？

[Audience laughing]

[觀眾大笑聲]

She and I once had a staring contest

我和佩妮曾玩過互瞪比賽

She clapped really loud and made me blink.

她大聲地拍手害我眨了眼

It's a small leap from there to sexual infidelity.

這樣的行為和紅杏出牆只有一線之隔。

[Audience laughing]

[觀眾大笑聲]

-You're being ridiculous.

-你真可笑。

-Amy, there were Chinese food containers...

-艾咪，我看到中國菜的外帶盒…

...in the trash can.

…丟在垃圾桶裡。

[Audience laughing]

[觀眾大笑聲]

-Poor Leonard.

-可憐的倫納德。

[Audience laughing]

[觀眾大笑聲]

[Audience laughing]

[觀眾大笑聲]

-Do you hear anything? -I hear a woman's voice.

-你聽到什麼了嗎？-我聽到女人的聲音。

-Is it Penny? -No, it's you.

-佩妮的？-不，妳的。

All right, I hear whispering and giggling.

我現在聽到一些耳語和咯咯笑的聲音。

Now I think I hear kissing. -Yeah, like you know what kissing sounds like.

-我想他們在接吻。-講得好像你聽過接吻的聲音似的。

-There's kissing in Star Trek, smarty-pants.

我在《星艦迷航記》裡看過好嗎。真是自以為是的傢伙。

-Let me listen.

-讓我聽啦。

Sounds like Leonard.

聽起來像倫納德。

-Please. Why would Leonard come home early and waste his time kissing Penny

-拜託，倫納德怎麼可能提早回家來跟佩妮接吻？

when he could be hanging out with his best buddy?

那是浪費時間，他大可跟最好的夥伴混在一起啊。

[Audience laughing]

[觀眾大笑聲]

Yeah, that's it. I'm catching her in the act.

不管了，我決定要當場揭發她。

-No, Sheldon, don't.

-謝爾頓，別這麼做。

-Aha!

-啊哈！

PENNY: What the hell? -Leonard?

佩妮：搞什麼？-倫納德？

-Sheldon, you cannot just barge in here like that! -Right.

-謝爾頓，你不能就這樣闖進來！-很好。

[Audience laughing]

[觀眾大笑聲]

SHELDON: (Knock, knock, knock) Penny.

謝爾頓：（砰砰砰）佩妮。

(Knock, knock, knock) Penny. (Knock, knock, knock) Penny.

（砰砰砰）佩妮。（砰砰砰）佩妮。

[Audience applauding]

[觀眾拍手聲]

Are you going to answer the door or should I open it and say 'aha' again?

妳有要來應門嗎？或是我直接走進去再“啊哈”妳一次？

[Audience laughing]

[觀眾大笑聲]