Name: 征服抑鬱症--我是如何成為自己的英雄的｜Hunter Kent｜TEDxYouth@CEHS。 (【TEDx】Conquering depression -- How I became my own hero | Hunter Kent | TEDxYouth@CEHS)
Uploaded: 2021-01-14T05:37:24.000Z
Duration: 8 min 52 s

a time when we were sad, upset, or discouraged:

有一陣子我們好難過、心情不好，或者是很沮喪

you had a fight with your best friend, and you were sad,

But eventually, a day, a week, a month passes,

但是平均來說，一天、一個禮拜、一個月過去

and even though the pain may not be completely forgotten,

縱使，傷痛也許沒辦法完全忘懷

even though those brief periods of unhappiness

But when you're living with depression, it doesn't just pass.

但是當你罹患了憂鬱症，就不是這樣過了

It can strike after a tragedy, or emerge out of the blue.

憂鬱會在悲劇發生後再度來襲，或是在情緒低潮的時候爆發

It can come from stress and pressure from school, friends, and family,

它可以來自於緊張、壓力，因為學校、朋友以及家人，

霸凌，還有情緒潰堤也都可能造成

and the media that damages our perception of self-image and self-worth.

還有媒體破壞了大眾對自我形象和自我價值的意識成形

I grew up as a shy, quiet, and introverted kid.

我從小就是個害羞、安靜內向的小孩

but in third grade, my sister, who I was very close to,

但是在三年級的時候，跟我感情很好的姊姊

left to live with another family, and after she left, I became lonely.

搬去跟其他家人住。她離開以後，我變得很孤單

My depression started taking a toll on me in eighth grade.

八年級的時候，憂鬱症開始向我襲來

and although my grades were good, I had no motivation.

雖然成績還是很好，卻一點動力都沒有

I felt very lost, and once I was in that rut,

感覺很迷惘，甚至有一陣子，我就像是行尸走肉

how people hurt themselves to try and cope with their depression.

有些人怎麼借由這種自殘的方式，來對抗他們的憂鬱症

So I tried it, and it became a habit, a go-to when I felt numb, for three years.

所以我試了，然後變成習慣，只要一感覺不行了，就會再傷害自己，這樣過了三年

angry at the whole universe and angry at myself most of all.

憤世忌俗，我生全世界的氣，尤其是我自己的

The voices in my head were awful, self-loathing, and hateful.

那個在我腦袋裡的聲音，糟透了、自我厭惡，非常討厭

I cried almost every day, at the littlest of things, and felt nothing.

我幾乎每天都哭，為了一些芝麻綠豆的小事，甚至是沒來由的哭

要是可以的話，我會很高興可以消失在這世界上

When I went into freshman year, my grades started to go down.

當我進入大學當新鮮人，我的成績開始往下掉

I didn't have the motivation or energy to try harder.

我找不到動機還是動力，去為了什麼而努力

That year, I was sent to a "therapist." She really didn't help me at all, though.

那年，我被送去做心理治療。雖然那對我毫無幫助

In fact, she actually made me feel worse.

事實上，那讓我的病情更加劇了

Between freshman and sophomore year, I created a secret Instagram account.

高一到高二的暑假期間，我在Instagram（網路社群）開了一個秘密的帳號

I wanted to reach out to other people also struggling with depression.

想接觸其他也在和憂鬱症奮戰的人

Then, sophomore year started, and my depression got worse,

然後，高二開學了，我的憂鬱症更嚴重了

but I was chosen to be a part of the school's Natural Helpers Program that year.

但是那年，我被選中，成為學校志工課程的一員

All the other natural helpers were outgoing and confident.

所有的自願義工都該是開朗自信的啊

Then, it occurred to me: it was my Instagram,

然後，有件事爆發了，就是我那個Instagram的社群

was just as noticeable as reaching out to others in school.

However, my self-destructive actions continued,

然而，我自殘的舉動還是持續著

forcing me to wear long sleeves and thick bracelets,

這也迫使我總是得穿長袖，戴寬版的手環

這樣人家才不會看到那些深深淺淺的疤痕

I was sent to a different counseling place which included group therapy.

我被送去另一個心理輔導的地方，那邊還有團體治療的課程

because I had no interest in getting better.

During these years, there were many times when I wanted to die.

那幾年，我有好幾次都想死掉算了

I didn't necessarily want to kill myself, but I wanted to stop existing.

我不是一心想自殺，而是想讓自己消失

One night, the weekend before final exams,

有一天晚上，在期末考的前一個禮拜

someone who still remains anonymous to me was afraid for my safety and called 911.

有個匿名人士因為擔心我的安危，打了911的緊急救助電話

I had gone to bed and woke up later that night to police officers in my living room,

那天晚上我在房間都已經睡了，還被警察叫醒

saying they got the call, saying I had to go to the hospital.

說他們接到報案電話，說我必須被送去醫院

I spent the fear-racked night in the emergency room,

我在急診室度過了恐懼折磨的一晚

talking to various doctors and counselors,

crying into the scratchy, blue hospital gown.

一身藍色的病人服，哭到聲音都沙啞了

Talking to my parents was the worst part.

這些都不算什麼，要面對父母，才是最可怕的

because I wasn't as strong as they thought I was.

School ended, summer began, and I felt just as lost as before.

學期結束，暑假開始了，我就像以往那樣失落

I didn't see a light at the end of the tunnel.

A few weeks into summer, my parents decided

暑假過了幾個禮拜，我的父母決定

to sign me to a summer camp called Tanglewood, up in Lincolnville,

幫我報名一個叫做「Tanglewood」的夏令營，就在Lincolnville上面

對，三個禮拜的「領導培訓課」

The thought of living in the woods with other teenagers who I didn't know was terrifying.

光是想要去和其他不認識的青少年一起住在樹林裡，我就受不了了

儘管我苦苦哀求，最後還是沒有辦法，只能屈服

There were five other kids in the leadership program,

這個領導人培訓課程，還有另外五個參加的小孩

two girls and three boys, and one male and female counselor.

兩個女生跟三個男生，再加上男導師跟女導師各一個

At first, I tried to isolate myself from them.

But after all the challenge courses and group-bonding activities,

但是經過挑戰的課程，以及團隊建立的活動

after eight days of hiking and canoeing in the wilderness,

經過了八天野外的健行，以及划獨木舟的活動

They involved me in games and conversations.

They paid attention to me when I shared an idea.

They went out of their way to make me laugh.

On the fourth night of our trip, we were all sitting around a fire,

在我們活動的第14天晚上，大家圍著火堆坐成一圈

and one of our counselors told us we'd be doing P.S.'s, personal stories.

其中一位輔導員告訴我們，接下來我們要來分享自己的人生故事

Every night, two of us would tell our life stories to the rest of the group.

每天晚上，有兩個人要講自己的故事給其他團員聽

the eight of us would pack ourselves into the boys' tent

我們八個都在男生的帳篷那邊擠

which was only meant to hold three people.

My turn finally came, and I was extremely nervous,

最後，終於輪到我了，我緊張到不行

but I decided to take the chance and tell them everything.

但我決定趁這次機會，坦白我的過往

I told them about my depression and anxiety,

我告訴他們有關我的憂鬱症，還有焦慮症

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征服抑鬱症--我是如何成為自己的英雄的｜Hunter Kent｜TEDxYouth@CEHS。 (【TEDx】Conquering depression -- How I became my own hero | Hunter Kent | TEDxYouth@CEHS)

realize

depression

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feel