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  • Does absence make the heart grow fonder?


  • New science says dating long-distance might make a better relationship.


  • Hey, distance daters, welcome to DNews.

    遠距戀愛的朋友們大家好,歡迎收看 DNews。

  • Trace here with the science lowdown on the dreaded long-distance relationship, or LDR.


  • Three million Americans are part of an LDR. 25% to 50% of college students are currently in one right now.

    有三百萬的美國人在遠距戀愛,而有 25% 至 50% 的大學生正在遠距戀愛中。

  • Of the non-college group, reasons could be military deployment, work preferences or requirements, internet dating, and even immigration and visa delays.


  • The internet helps us feel closer, even when we're far apart.


  • So long-distance relationships are growing in popularity.


  • Technology like text messaging, instant messaging, video chat, they all help us feel the sense of inclusion and intimacy that we wouldn't have been able to get only 10 or 15 years ago.

    新的科技,例如,文字簡訊、即時簡訊、影像通話等都讓我們覺得沉浸在彼此生活中而且很親密, 這些都是我們在 10 、15 年前不可能擁有的。

  • The research from 2010 says romance does kind of require face to face interaction. Newer research, that's saying the opposite.

    2010 年的研究顯示要維持一段戀情需要一些面對面的互動,但新研究卻顯示相反的結果。

  • A study in the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy says, those in long-distance relationships might actually be better at dating.


  • Researchers recruited people in close-by and long-distance relationships, who filled out a series of questionnaires tackling their intimacy, their commitment, their communication, psychological distress, and sexual satisfaction, or lack thereof.


  • Those in an LDR also indicated how often that they got to see each other.


  • Though both groups were doing well, the LDR couples were better functioning couples, reporting higher levels of satisfaction, intimacy, and communication.


  • The close-by couples win in the area of getting laid more.


  • Basically, LDR couples have to replace their physical closeness with emotional closeness.


  • While the close-by couples were overlooking some of their problems, the long-distance couples, they were forced to sort them out.


  • A piece in Pacific Magazine puts it this way, "Long-distance couples are arguably better at discussing sex, and those who live nearby actually have more sex."

    《太平洋雜誌》有一篇文章是這樣說的:「遠距情侶可以說是更會討論性愛,而那些住得很近的情侶就是——有更多性愛 。」

  • A separate study this year in the Journal of Communication tipped the scales even farther toward long-distance couples, indicating that they form even deeper bonds than their nearby neighbors because of all of that sharing.


  • Something those of us who are very familiar with the long-distance thing, as my friends call it, know very well because, you know, you're just always talking.


  • You're just talking and talking, and there's more talking and some talking and talking.


  • In the end, all this communication leads to a greater sense of mental intimacy, which is great, if lonely.


  • Psychotherapist and author, Rachel Sussman, points out the loneliness factor isn't really considered much in this research, but it can be really stressful for people, which is a good point.

    一位心理治療師兼作者 Rachel Sussman 指出,在這項研究裡,寂寞的因素並沒有真正被考量到,但它對我們來說是個相當大的壓力,這是一個很好的論點 。

  • Also, they don't really consider the jealousy factor.


  • If you're a jealous person with a high level of FOMO, things could go sour, fast.


  • "Lifehacker" has a couple of helpful tips to make LDR last, like make date nights, where you video chat, eat dinner, watch a movie, text things like "wish you were here" to alleviate jealousy.

    「生活駭客網」有幾個實用的小撇步讓遠距戀愛能延續,像是如何晚上約會、在哪視訊通話、吃飯、看電影,傳一些「我希望你在這」的情話以減輕忌妒感 。

  • And when you talk, be present.


  • Non-verbal cues are really important.


  • Most importantly, have an end date.


  • If there is no end to the tunnel, then there's no light to look forward to. Right? Right?


  • What if some of the most famous relationships were LDRs?


  • I wonder how like, Mary Todd Lincoln would have tolerated Abe's brutal honesty?

    我在想如果我是瑪麗.托德 (美國前總統林肯的夫人) 怎麼忍受小肯肯的殘忍誠實?

  • The word "independence" may have no A's in it.

    「獨立」這個詞裡面可沒有ㄋ 這個注音。

  • The declaration may have no holes.


  • But when you look at the people who signed it, there are a lot of a-holes.


  • That guy just does not hold back.


  • Anyway, be sure to check out brutally honest Abe for more of his delightful truth bombs, and tell us your thoughts about the long-distance thing in the comments area below.


  • And as always, subscribe for more DNews every day.

    不免俗地要請大家訂閱我們的頻道以能夠每天看更多 DNews 的影片。

  • Thanks for watching.


Does absence make the heart grow fonder?


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