You're not an engineer.

You're not a designer.

You can't put a hammer to a nail.

I built the circuit board.

The graphical interface was STOLEN!

So how come

ten times in a day

I read Steve Jobs is a genius?

What do you DO?

Musicians play their instruments.

I play the orchestra.

I hear you've been worse than usual this morning

I didn't think that was possible...

It's a system error -

- FIX IT. - Fix it?! - Yeah.

We're not a pit crew at Daytona!

This can't be fixed in seconds!

You didn't have seconds

you had THREE WEEKS, the universe was created in a third of that time!

Well, someday you'll have to tell us how you did it.

I'm begging you to manage expectations out there.

You see how this reminds you of a friendly face?

It's warm, and it's playful and inviting

and it needs to say HELLO!

If you keep alienating people for no reason

there's no one left for it to say hello TO!

Your Apple stock was worth $441 million dollars

while your daughter and her mother are on welfare!

She's not my daughter!

You must be able to see that she looks like you...

You're issuing contradictory instructions, you're insubordinate

you make people miserable.

Even if that were true...

that doesn't sound that diabolical to me.

We've spoken to the fire marshall and the building manager

they're going to come in and tell everyone to leave.

If a fire causes a stampede to the unmarked exits

it will have been well worth it for those who survive.

The board believes you're no longer necessary to this company.

I sat in a garage and invented the future

because artists lead and hacks ask for a show of hands!

You're gonna end me, aren't you.

You're being ridiculous.

I'm gonna sit center court and watch you do it yourself.

Make everything all right with Lisa.

Fix it!

Ladies and gentlemen!

Please welcome...