The obvious answer is, it's not easy.

答案明顯的是，這並不簡單。

And one of the single biggest obstacles to being happy is that people naturally compare themselves to other people and assume nearly all of them are happier than they are.

而其中一個快樂的最大阻礙就是人類自然而然會跟他人比較，然後認定幾乎所有人都比他們更快樂。

This is a big problem.

這是個很大的問題。

So how would you like an equation to determine the exact amount of unhappiness in your life?

所以，你想要有一個方程式可以精準地計算出你人生中不快樂的總值嗎？

Well, I am here to tell you that I have developed an equation.

嗯，我現在就要在這裡告訴你，我已經開發了這個方程式。

It is U = I - R. U is unhappiness, I is image, and R is reality.

就是 U = I - R。U 是不快樂，I 是想像，R 是現實。

The difference between the images you have had for your life, and the reality of your life is the amount of unhappiness in your life, which gives you an idea of how powerful images are in hurting us.

你對人生的想像與現實之間的差異是你人生中不快樂的總值，這就說明了這些想像是多麼強烈地傷害著我們。

It's inevitable, everybody has an image. As you grow up, you imagine what life will be when you get older.

這是無法避免的，所有人都會有想像。當你成長後，你會想像當你長大後你的人生會是怎樣的。

I had very, very powerful images, if I may be personal, and it'll help here to be personal, because I have gone through this.

如果我可以談點個人的經驗，我曾有過極為強烈的想像。而在此時分享個人經驗是好的，因為我經歷過這件事了。

I imagined that I would be happily married, never divorced, have four perfect children sitting around the table, discussing politics and theology every meal.

我想像我會很快樂結婚，不會離婚，每餐都跟四個完美的孩子坐在桌邊討論政治、神學。

Well, it didn't quite turn out that way.

嗯，最後並沒有變成這樣。

I was divorced. I was divorced with a child, and my kids didn't always want to talk about theology and politics.

我離婚了。我離婚了，有一個孩子，而我的孩子並不是隨時都想要討論神學跟政治。

Sometimes they didn't want to talk at all.

有時候他們完全不想要說話。

Sometimes they wanted to talk about sports or about music that I couldn't stand.

有時候他們想聊我不熟悉的體育或我無法忍受的音樂。

Now, I had to realize very early in my life that I would either have to abandon my image, or I would be miserable the rest of my life.

這樣一來，我必須早早就接受，我得放棄我的想像，否則我的下半輩子都會很痛苦。

And this is true for just about everybody.

而對很多人也是如此。

Very few people live out the image that they had assumed their life would follow and become.

他們以為自己的人生將會遵循且變成想像的那樣，但幾乎沒有人能實現那些想像。

That's what the mid-life crisis in so many people is about, whether it is male or female, especially for men.

這就是許多人的中年危機，不管是男人或女人，特別是男人。

They reach 35, 45, 55, and then they think, "Wait a minute, I am not nearly what I had assumed I would be in terms of accomplishment and achievement.

當他們 35、45、55歲的時候，他們想：「等一下，我離自己設定的目標成就和成績還很遙遠。

I thought I would be the CEO. I thought I would be a president. I thought I'd be the president of the United States.

我以為我會成為總裁。我以為我會成為總統。我以為我會成為美國總統。

I thought I would be earning this amount of money. I thought I would be one of the most respected members of my community."

我以為我會賺到這麼多的錢。我以為我會在社會中成為其中最受尊重的一個成員。」

And then I would say every man ultimately fails the image that he has had for himself.

然後我會說，每個男人最後都無法實現他設定給自己的想像。

That's the biggest part of what mid-life crisis is about.

這是中年危機中最大的部分。

Images kill people. Think of anorexia.

想像可以殺人。想想厭食症。

Some teenage girls and young women have an image of how they want to look.

有些青少年女孩跟年輕女人想像自己該長怎樣。

And in some cases they will starve themselves to meet that image.

然後在某些案例中，他們會為了實現自己的想像而挨餓。

This is true for whatever images we have in our life.

無論我們對人生設定了什麼想像，這都是真的。

People imagine family life a certain way. They imagine a spouse a certain way.

人們對家庭有某種想像。他們對配偶有某種想像。

They imagine their children a certain way. They imagine their job a certain way.

他們對自己的孩子有某種想像。他們對工作有某種想像。

They imagine a whole host of things, and then those images are very often shattered.

他們有著很多想像，但這些幻想常常破滅。

So what do you do about it?

那你要做什麼呢？

Well, there are two things. One, either develop a new image, and enjoy that.

其實，有兩件事情。一，發展一個新的想像然後學者喜歡它，

Or just celebrate the reality that you now have.

或慶祝你現有的現況。

Maybe the reality you now have is pretty darn good.

或許你現在的現況非常好。

You don't need an image to ruin it because I promise you that that's exactly what the image will do.

你不需要一個可以毀了它的想像，因為我可以向你保證，想像一定會毀了它。

And that is why U = I - R. Unhappiness = Image - Reality. I am Dennis Prager.

這也是為什麼 U = I - R。不快樂 = 想像 - 現實。我是 Dennis Prager。