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  • Voila, it's a boy wearing a baby belly,

    你看(法文)!這裡有一位大肚子的男生,

  • inside of which is a boy, actually it's hot water.

    裡面是一個小男生喔,好啦其實是熱水。

  • Motherhood!

    各位媽媽們!

  • Who doesn't want to have a baby?

    誰不想有個小寶寶呢?

  • He hates looking at me.

    他討厭一直看著我。

  • I prefer dogs over babies.

    比起小寶寶我比較喜歡狗。

  • I think the hardest part about being a mom,

    我覺得當媽媽最困難的地方,

  • is loving the thing

    就是要無條件地愛上那些

  • that's ruining your life unconditionally.

    搗亂你生活的事情。

  • (baby crying)

    (寶寶正在哭)

  • And for us as four guys, there's no way for us

    對於我們這四個男人來說,根本沒有辦法讓我們

  • to truly understand what it's like.

    真正去了解當一位母親是怎樣的感覺

  • Ow! Oh! Ah!

    噢!噢!噢!

  • But we're gonna try.

    但我們正準備去嘗試。

  • This isn't how much babies really weight, is it?

    這不是寶寶真正的重量對吧?

  • How heavy is this?

    這多重阿?

  • How much weight should we put into our pregnancy bellies?

    我們應該要放多少重量到我們的懷孕裝?

  • About 25-30 lbs, but remember that's at the end, at term.

    大概25~30磅,不過要記住,這是最後快生產的時候的重量。

  • What are these, are these the baby's balls?

    這些是甚麼,該不會是寶寶的蛋蛋?

  • Probably more likely to simulate

    比較可能是用來刺激,

  • a baby just pushing into your organs.

    就像寶寶在踢你的內臟一樣。

  • This already hurts.

    這樣已經會痛了。

  • Every time, a woman talks about a baby kicking,

    每次女生談到寶寶正在踢腿,

  • it's like a magical thing, but does it hurt?

    就好像是很不可思議的事情,但會痛嗎?

  • Oh! (laughing)

    喔!(笑)

  • It feels like a punch or a kick,

    這感覺就像被打一拳或是被踢一腳,

  • and you get a few jolts every now and then.

    而且你三不五時會被寶寶重擊。

  • It feels like I'm a marine suiting up for battle.

    我感覺好像是一位正在整裝準備打仗的海軍。

  • I can't keep my hands off my body.

    我的手沒辦法離開身體。

  • Oh, ow!

    噢噢!

  • Already, I'm feeling a strain on my lower back.

    我已經感覺的我的下背緊繃起來了。

  • Strong back, strong baby.

    強壯的背肌,強壯的寶寶。

  • I'm already tired.

    我已經累了。

  • I'm out of breath from wearing it and talking.

    穿著這個講話已經快喘不過氣了。

  • It's warm.

    溫溫的欸。

  • Oh Lord, this heat!

    主阿,這熱度!

  • The warm sack is just heating

    這溫溫的袋子正在加熱

  • up my entire body temperature.

    我全身的體溫。

  • The baby's heavier, it's pressing on things.

    隨著寶寶變得更重,寶寶就會壓迫都其他東西上。

  • You have cellulite, stretchmarks and you're big.

    你就會有脂肪團、妊娠紋而且你會變很大隻。

  • It's harder to move around.

    移動會變更困難。

  • It's hard to sleep.

    睡覺也是。

  • Varicose veins and you get hemorrhoids.

    你還會有靜脈屈張和痔瘡。

  • What are some of the positives?

    有沒有甚麼好處阿?

  • The baby.

    寶寶。

  • How much pizza do I get to eat?

    我待會可以吃多少披薩?

  • Even though this is very uncomfortable,

    即便這裝備非常不舒服,

  • I think baby's are a beautiful thing.

    我還是覺得有寶寶是非常美麗的一件事。

  • It's nice to know that your body wants to destroy you.

    知道你的身體想要摧殘你真是太棒了。

  • I can't imagine doing anything in this.

    我沒辦法想像在這狀況下做任何事。

  • Like all I wanna do is just sit down.

    好像我想做的事情就只有坐著休息。

  • It's a big shift.

    這是非常大的變化。

  • Your center of gravity has changed.

    你身體的重心整個變了。

  • So you suddenly have all this mass in the front.

    整個重量突然跑到你的前面。

  • Pregnant woman sleep on their sides?

    懷孕的女生都側睡嗎?

  • I'm going to roll on this side.

    我要轉向這邊。

  • Nope!

    喔不!

  • Oh, this is awful!

    噢,這太糟了!

  • Those little balls are digging into my ribs.

    那些小球正在戳我的肋骨。

  • Not my balls, the balls in the bag.

    不是我的蛋蛋,是袋子裡的球。

  • Not my bag, the bag on my stomach.

    不是我底下的那個袋子喔,是我肚子上的袋子。

  • Let's see if I can get out of bed.

    來試看看我是不是可以離開床。

  • How do they do it?

    媽媽們到底怎麼做到的?

  • Isn't the point of lying down, supposed to be to relax?

    躺下的重點是不是要放鬆?

  • I don't know how a mom-to-be gets any rest.

    我不知道準媽媽要怎麼休息。

  • That was the most painful thing I've done today.

    這是我今天做過最痛的事了。

  • Getting dressed is a lot harder.

    穿衣服更是困難許多。

  • Definitely before I came here,

    肯定的是在我來這裡之前,

  • I probably put on like four different dresses,

    我大概套上四件不同的洋裝,

  • and I was like, "Nope, doesn't fit."

    然後我的反應大概就像:呼~這穿不下。

  • I keep getting trapped in everything I put on.

    不管我穿甚麼我都一直卡住。

  • I underestimated how big this belly was.

    我低估這肚子的大小了。

  • My boobs look amazing though!

    不過我的胸部看起來很驚人!

  • I feel like the worst thing would be

    我覺得最糟糕的事情應該是

  • having to buy another wardrobe,

    我全部的衣服都得重買了,

  • because all of your clothes wouldn't fit you.

    因為所有你原來的衣服都會穿不下。

  • Does it make my butt look good?

    這件有沒有讓我的屁股看起來更傲人?

  • What am I doing wrong?

    我做錯甚麼了嗎?

  • Why are you laughing at me?

    為甚麼你一直笑我?

  • Simply 15 minutes,

    僅僅15分鐘,

  • at eight or nine months pregnant has been a disaster

    體驗八、九個月的身孕真是個災難。

  • My mom, she was pregnant with three kids,

    我的母親,她懷過三個孩子,

  • and every time, she still wore high heels.

    而且每次懷孕,她還是繼續穿高跟鞋。

  • I couldn't see my feet or my crotch that well,

    我沒辦法清楚的看到我的腳和胯下,

  • so adjusting my pants was kinda difficult.

    所以穿好褲子變得有點困難。

  • I understand now, that being a pregnant lady's

    我現在知道當一位懷孕的女性

  • super hard, can we stop?

    超級困難,我們可以停止了嗎?

  • No we're not.

    不,我們不會這麼做。

  • But you can see my balls in this.

    可是你可以看到我蛋蛋在這裡面阿。

  • I think it's nice to empathize

    我認為能和孕婦產生共鳴

  • with a pregnant woman, but it really is

    是一件好事,但這真的是

  • a complete physiologic change.

    生理上相當大的變化。

  • Not only just how you feel physically,

    不僅僅是因為會痛而有生理上的感覺

  • 'cause it hurts, but mentally.

    ,還有心理上的感覺。

  • I have to go!

    我得走了!

  • Number one or number two?

    小號還大號?

  • You should go in that side.

    你應該進去這邊的。

  • You know I'm just going to hold it.

    你知道的,我要憋住。

  • As I entered from my first

    當我從懷孕的頭三個月

  • to my second trimester, there was

    進入三到六個月時,好像有個

  • this deep demon like hunger inside of me.

    飢餓的小惡魔在我的體內一樣。

  • I'm going to McDonald's.

    我要去麥當勞。

  • How come?

    為甚麼?

  • (beep). This is why.

    xxx。這就是理由。

  • Two orders of Chicken McNuggets.

    兩份麥克雞塊。

  • You only need 300 calories extra a day.

    你一天只需要多攝取300卡路里就夠了。

  • (beep) it, I want 20 pieces.

    去x的,我要20塊麥克雞塊。

  • Careful with weight gain.

    小心體重增加。

  • We really encourage exercise.

    我們很鼓勵孕婦運動。

  • It's 91 degrees outside and I'm miserable.

    現在外面華氏91度,我感到很難受。

  • Nailed it.

    你說對了。

  • Once I'm down here, I can't get back up.

    我一蹲下就沒辦法再起來了。

  • A stronger core will help support the uterus,

    有強壯的核心肌群可以幫助你支撐子宮,

  • and will help with back pain.

    而且對背痛也有幫助。

  • Go back, go back, go back.

    回去,回去,回去。

  • No! It hurts. Then go back.

    不!很痛。然後走回去。

  • Yoga, crunches.

    瑜珈、捲腹。

  • I'm in severe pain. - Inhale.

    我現在很痛,-吸氣。

  • Balance. Graceful.

    維持平衡,要優雅。

  • What's that feel like?

    感覺怎麼樣?

  • It's bouncing all over the place.

    肚子到處亂彈阿。

  • Pregnant Yoga! I'm not having a good time.

    孕婦瑜珈!我過得有點痛苦。

  • Just to have to make that big adjustment,

    就是得做很大的調適,

  • it's not my life anymore, it's our life.

    這不再是我自己的生活了,是我和寶寶的生活。

  • I can't imagine having to deal with this

    我沒辦法想像自己得應付

  • for over nine months.

    超過九個月的懷孕生活。

  • I think I understood this maternal protectiveness,

    我想我能理解母親想保護小孩的感覺了,

  • because I am dealing with so much (beep).

    因為我正面對這麼多的鳥事。

  • if anybody tries to (beep) with me, how (beep) dare you.

    如果有任何人想和我xx,你xx怎麼敢。

  • Yeah, but this is just the beginning.

    是阿,不過這只是剛開始。

  • We haven't even had the baby yet.

    我們甚至還沒有寶寶呢。

  • It only lasts

    這些只會持續

  • for a certain amount of time.

    一陣子而已。

  • It really is a beautiful thing, and it's gonna make you

    懷孕真的是一件很美麗的事情,而且它會讓你

  • appreciate your body so much more.

    更珍惜自己的身體。

  • I've had like such a hard day,

    我已經喜歡上這艱困的一天了。

Voila, it's a boy wearing a baby belly,

你看(法文)!這裡有一位大肚子的男生,

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大男人體驗懷孕的感覺 (The Try Guys Try Pregnancy Bellies • Motherhood: Part 1)

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    Johnny Tsai 發佈於 2015 年 08 月 01 日
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