I'm only smiling because I want you to tip me as much as possible.

我對你微笑，只是希望你能給我小費，越多越好。

How would I recommend?

你問我推薦什麼？

The restaurant next door. It's delicious!

隔壁的餐廳，超好吃的！

Hi there, I'm super hungover.

嗨，我宿醉超嚴重。

Can I get you some water?

給你來杯水好嗎？

(Laughter) I'm laughing at your dumb joke purely out of obligation.

(笑聲) 我會捧你那蠢笑話的場，純粹出於我的職責而已。

You brought your baby in the restaurant?

你帶你的寶寶來餐廳嗎？

That's gonna make my life a nightmare.

這真是讓我的生活變成夢魘。

Here's your food.

上菜囉！

I hope you don't notice I snagged a few fries off your plate.

希望你不知道，我偷吃了你幾根薯條。

I'm telling you I'm gonna go ask the chef.

我跟你說會去問廚師。

But I'm really gonna go into the kitchen, count to ten, come back and say no.

但其實我只是進去廚房，數到十，出來，然後跟你說沒辦法。

Hi guys, this plate is hot.

嗨！各位，這盤子其實燙死了。

I'm just trying to tough it out.

我只是硬著頭皮端過去。

Yes, I caught you staring at my boobs.

是的，我看到你盯著我胸部看。

No, they are not on the menu.

沒有哦，它們不在菜單上。

Not only do I have change for five, but I can also make it rain.

我不只有五元鈔票可以換，還可以讓它下鈔票雨。

Your appetizer is taking a long time because I completely forgot about you.

你的開胃菜這麼久沒上來，是因為我完全把你忘了。

If you ask for the check, I'll get it.

你開口要帳單，我就知道了。

If you do this air signature, I'll take my sweet time.

但如果你做這個簽名動作，我會慢慢地幫你拿帳單。

Are you finished with that?

你吃完了嗎？

Because I'd love to take the rest of them in the back and eat it off of your plate.

我很樂意把盤子上剩下的拿去後面吃掉。

I'm telling you the max I can split is three credit cards.

我跟你說最多只能拆成三張信用卡結帳。

But really? I'm just feeling lazy today.

但真的嗎？我只是今天很懶而已。

Be nice to me, and I'll be nice to your food.

對我好，我就會對你的食物好。