Hey I'm your room mate. Please don't be lame as shit.

We're gonna be best friends, until we find people we actually have something in common with.

Oh I care way more about getting fucked up than going to class.

I'm trying really hard to seem cooler than I was in high school and... It's not working.

My side of the room is way cuter than yours.

Our room's going to smell like weed... a lot.

I'm politely offering to switch beds with you although we both know I'm not going to do it.

Oh I'll do anything I can to avoid confrontation. We're going to be spending an unfortunate amount of time together.

Hey, our parents already left so we're acting like hot shit. Come on!

Once we start rushing frats I'll definitely stop hanging out with you.

I'm only being nice to you because you have a fake I.D.

This is my first time away from home and I'm actually terrified.

I checked you out on Facebook, and your sister is really hot! I will hit on her when she visits.

I'm trying to sleep with every girl I meet this week.

We're going to hook up once and then we'll avoid eye contact for the four years.

I am never going to clean this comforter. Maybe if I puke on it but probably still not.

This is my boyfriend. We're going to sex aisle you all the time.

I'm going to resent the fuck out of that.

I'll never tell you when somethings bothering me, but I will be extremely passive aggressive about it.

Hooking up with you will be the first mistake I make in college but definitely not the last.

This room is kinda miserable but I'm 18 and absolutely anything is better than living with my parents.

Oh I'm on scholarship so I'm only paying 20 grand to get fucked up.

Remember what I look like now because I'm going to gain 15 pounds.

I'm going to bring back a ton of frat boys and I don't really care if you're in here.

I'll pretend to be sleepin and hate every second of it.

Also I'm huge 'N Sync fan... No Strings Attached changed my life.

Hi! I'm going to pursue you sexually.