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  • - Today we ask the age-old question: - Will it pizza?

  • Let's talk about that.

  • ♪ (theme music) ♪

  • - Goooooood Mythical Morning! - Well, it's been a while since we've

  • found out if something "will"... (laughs) so let's find out today!

  • - Should we? - We should!

  • A lot of you have suggested Will It Pizza? and, ah... okay. We have basically the

  • worst pizza party ever just out of frame over here...

  • - The smell alone! - that we are going to enjoy

  • for your sake. So let's get right into it and answer the question,

  • (in unison over dramatic music) Will It Pizza?

  • I, for one, am excited about this first pizza.

  • Yeah, I thought we could start in a place that you would think you

  • - were gonna be excited. - Yeah, the comfort zone!

  • Your favorite food... beans!

  • (in unison over dramatic music) Beans... Will It Pizza?

  • Okay, so here we go! On the Good Mythical Morning Pizza Plank, we have...

  • - A lotta beans! - Bean Pizza. So, it's a normal crust--

  • all of these are gonna be normal crust. The sauce is refried beans.

  • - Of course. - The cheese is mozzarella cheese.

  • - Why not? - And then we've thrown everything that

  • has the word "bean" in the title on top of it.

  • - I see green beans, kidney beans, ah... - Black beans.

  • Black beans, white beans, butter beans? That's like a lima bean.

  • - Lima bean. - I don't care, I love beans.

  • (Link) This is like a fart pie.

  • All right, let's dig in here. You wanna toast? We don't have to do that every time.

  • - Just this one. Just the first one. - All right, here we go.

  • Breaking the seal.

  • - Mm. Some are crunchier than others. - I can feel the fiber forming right now.

  • You know? That is not bad at all for a guy who likes beans.

  • I don't have anything to say about it. It's just beans on a pizza.

  • Yeah, I mean... pretty much perfect. Right?

  • Well... let my lower G.I. weigh in a little bit later.

  • I would take another bite, but I've got a few pizzas left, so...

  • - It's a super food, right? - Yeah, definitely.

  • Okay. Will it pizza?

  • (in unison) Yes!

  • Okay, it's pretty common to have a carb-heavy side, you know?

  • - Yes... - They like to sell breadsticks with pizza

  • - and stuff like that? - It makes little sense to me.

  • Reach in a bag? Well, why not a musical instrument that also doubles as a snack,

  • the Bugle.

  • (in unison over dramatic music) Bugles... Will It Pizza?

  • - (laughs) - Bring in the Bugles! Now, this looks

  • dangerous. I've burned the roof of my mouth on a pizza before, but I've never

  • - punctured it. - This looks like something you'd find at

  • - the bottom of the ocean. - (laughs) Yeah, it's kinda movin' and...

  • a fish goes over it and then it stings it.

  • - I can definitely anticipate some crunch. - (Link) Now, if it goes up through the

  • - roof of my mouth, it could kill me. - It'll hit your brain.

  • - Yeah, I could die instantly. - Yep. Here we go.

  • (crunches)

  • - Mm! - Whoah. Mm!

  • - Marinara, cheese, and Bugles. - Woo!

  • - (laughs) - You'd be the life of the party,

  • - you walk in with this thing! - (laughs) Sharp...

  • I'm gonna go for another bite. I can't resist.

  • There's an element of danger here. Lots of saltiness, a good crunch. I'm really

  • lovin' this. Will it pizza?

  • - (Rhett) Uh huh. - (Link) Yes.

  • Okay, that Bugle Pizza looked like something that could have been on the

  • bottom of the ocean, but now we're actually gonna go to the ocean and come

  • back with something raw and put it on a pizza.

  • Sushi!

  • (in unison over dramatic music) Sushi... Will It Pizza?

  • I know that you are personally excited about this.

  • - I am not excited at all about this. - You're such a big sushi fan.

  • - (Link) I do not like sushi. - (Rhett) There's a lot of green on this.

  • We have a wasabi sauce. Basically, the whole base is wasabi. Then we've got

  • Rainbow Roll, consisting of a couple of different types of fish, and then

  • we've got the ginger just sort of laid in there on the top.

  • Oh my gosh!

  • - (Rhett) What can go wrong? - (Link) Well, I'm not gonna like it,

  • that's one thing that's gonna be guaranteed to happen.

  • (laughs) I'm thinking that the wasabi reaction's gonna be pretty strong based

  • on the amount of green that I see, okay? Three, two, one.

  • (Eddie laughs)

  • - I'm gonna open a restaurant. - Uh uh.

  • - This is not bad at all! - I'm gonna go ahead and tell you,

  • this is not as bad as I thought it would be 'cause that toothpastey stuff...

  • - Wasabi. - is overpowering everything else.

  • It's strong, it's good, it's got a nice kick to it, it's only been out for about

  • - three hours... - Ladies and gentlemen, you've just

  • witnessed the first time that I've eaten sushi with raw fish in it and not retched.

  • - It's still in my mouth! - You're chipmunking it right now,

  • - though, I can tell. C'mon. Get it down. - All right. All right, I just turned over

  • a new leaf! There was sushi pizza underneath it.

  • I think that's good enough for us to conclude... will it pizza?

  • (in unison) Yes!

  • Okay, this next pizza is gonna take years to digest.

  • Seven years, to be exact. Bubblegum!

  • (in unison over dramatic music) Bubblegum... Will It Pizza?

  • - Okay. - Now, this is a purdy pizza, people!

  • - I mean, look at this! - I think you could satisfy a party,

  • - probably for children. - Aw, yeah. I'm pretty excited about...

  • - What is the sauce under there? - The sauce is... what?

  • - (Eddie) The sauce is marinara sauce. - Oh, marinara sauce.

  • - The sauce is marinara sauce. - 'Cause it's a pizza.

  • But the cheese is Big League Chew shredded gum.

  • - (Rhett) Big League Chew, yeah. - (Link) Two different flavors.

  • Big League Chew has always been asking to be cheese.

  • The toppings are Super Bubble, and then the type of gum that you... gumballs.

  • Yeah. My bet is this is gonna be a little tough to get down. I think I'm gonna get

  • - the marinara and the bread down. - (Link) Oh, man. Mmhmm! Okay.

  • - Here we go. - Let's do it.

  • (Link) Auum.

  • Marinara does not belong in this scenario.

  • It's like gymnastics are happening in my mouth. I'm trying to get the edible

  • ingredients around the gum. Oh, gosh! But they're definitely being perverted

  • - by the gum. - (gulps)

  • (crew laughs)

  • (both laugh)

  • - You faked me out, man! - Mm! Okay. Let's stress the positives,

  • here. Every time you take a bite out of this pizza, you get a mouthful of gum.

  • - This pizza will last all week. - I could be eating this pizza for a month.

  • - Yeah, mmhm. - I don't know. Will it pizza?

  • - The gum part's really great. - I don't think it will pizza.

  • - (Link) That's not the question. - No.

  • - Will it pizza? - (in unison) Nah.

  • For this next one, we really had you single guys in mind. You're at home alone,

  • you've got a pizza crust and then everything in the door of your

  • refrigerator. Condiments.

  • (in unison over dramatic music) Condiments... Will It Pizza?

  • - This has a mayonnaise base... - (Link) And then it's got all the

  • condiments from a single man's refrigerator door.

  • (Rhett) Ketchup, mustard, steak sauce, ranch dressing, hot sauce,

  • - and barbeque sauce. - It looks good.

  • - I'm appetized already. - (mocking) I'm appetized...

  • (Link) Now, if I were to smell this first, which I'm gonna do...

  • - Gnh! - Ooh.

  • This is the kinda thing that you'd see at Wolfgang Puck's Pizza.

  • - Hey, maybe it'll be good. - The mayonnaise is pretty strong,

  • - I can smell it already. - (Link) Let's give it a try.

  • Three, two... bert!

  • - Tangy. - Saucy.

  • - Agh. - It's amazing how I can taste each one

  • - of those ingredients. - I can really taste the mayonnaise.

  • - It's putrid. - Mayonnaise, ranch, steak sauce, ketchup,

  • - Eugh. - mustard...

  • - I'm on the verge of gagging! - Hot sauce. It's layered! You know what?

  • - You like it? - This could catch on on college campuses

  • everywhere. Of course, I'm having trouble getting it down. (laughs)

  • - Yes. It's almost like it's rotten. - (laughs)

  • - (laughs) - Mayonnaise was a mistake. That's

  • - not the first time I've said that. - (both laugh)

  • Okay, so we learned something. When you're gonna make your condiment pizza,

  • - Exclude mayonnaise. - exclude mayonnaise. Will it pizza?

  • (in unison) No.

  • Okay, for this one we have our British friends in mind.

  • - They like to enjoy a spot of tea... - Yeah.

  • - What about a whole pizza of... - (in unison) Tea!

  • (in unison over dramatic music) Tea... Will It Pizza?

  • It's basically cheese... pesto! We've got pesto and cheese.

  • - Pesto's very aromatic. It goes with tea. - Right.

  • - I think we've got a good chance here. - A good chance of what?

  • - Of this pizza-ing. - Oh, really?

  • Yeah, there's two different types of tea. There's the ground-up tea bag tea,

  • as a general base, and then there's loose leaf tea on top of it.

  • And you can sprinkle additional tea to taste. (laughs)

  • (Link) Yeah, this is kind of like our parmesan, here.

  • What happens in your intestines if you do this? You make tea in your stomach!

  • Yeah. And then you could probably bottle and sell it if you knew how to catch it.

  • - Stomach Tea. (laughs) - Now, smell this.

  • Whoa, it's very-- oh, there's herbal in there.

  • - Yeah, it's-- mm! - Earl Grey, maybe.

  • All right. Three, two, one.

  • (gags)

  • Kinda crunchy!

  • - (groans) - (crew laughs)

  • I take that back. It makes tea in your mouth!

  • - (laughs) I am not hating this. - What?!

  • - (crew laughs) - At all.

  • - Your mouth is broken, man! - I like the crunch.

  • What is wrong you with you? You need to be evaluated. Golly!

  • - (Link) Really? - (gags)

  • - Yeah. - (Rhett) Ugh! Gah!

  • - It's good! - It's not good!

  • Will it pizza?

  • - (Rhett) No! - (Link) Yes!

  • All right, I like the crunch of the tea, but I don't know if I'm gonna like the

  • crunch of this next one. We thought we would give it a shot.

  • - What about beach sand? - Oh, yeah!

  • (in unison over dramatic music) Sand... Will It Pizza?

  • Okay, um... this one is very decorative. Now, we started with some beach sand.

  • Why did we start with beach sand? Why did we even start there?

  • Just think of it like a paradise at the beach. Like a Beach Vacation Pizza.

  • We've got beach sand, but then we also added coconut.

  • Coconut, you definitely associate that with the islands.

  • - And we put piles of sea salt on it. - (snorts)

  • So piles of sea salt and piles of beach sand with a little bit of coconut, and

  • - I've also got some drizzle here. - Some drizzle!

  • - This is... - (Rhett) Suntan oil.

  • - (Link) Just a little bit of drizzle. - (Rhett) Like a Hawaiian tropic situation.

  • Put a little drizzle on mine... drizzle, drizzle.

  • - It smells very coconutty and very salty. - It smells like a day at the beach.

  • - It smells like paradise. - Actually, it smells like if you got in

  • - a fight at the beach. - Yeah, that's what you're about

  • - to feel like. - Let's see how it tastes.

  • Okay, here we go.

  • Oh, gah...

  • (crunches)

  • - The crust is exquisite. - How you feel about the crunch

  • - on this one, Link? - Oh, the crunch is horrible!

  • (Link) I might have to spit this out.

  • I'm afraid I'll shrivel up and turn into a raisin if I swallow it.

  • (retches) Oh, gosh. Oh, man.

  • We should call this Riptide. You get caught in the riptide and they bring you

  • - back in, and then... - Yeah.

  • - And it's all this crap in your lungs. - Yeah, you'll put it on the menu,

  • but no one should ever order it. (gruffly) Ah, they'll never order it.

  • - Let's charge $80 for it. - (gruffly) Riptide.

  • (normally) Will it pizza?

  • (in unison) No!

  • Okay, a lot of people think that we're stupid because of these eating

  • challenges... but we're not, because we're about to eat brains! (laughs)

  • (in unison over dramatic music) Brains... Will It Pizza?

  • - All right, bring it in. - All right.

  • - Isn't this stupid? - No, it's smart. Because it's got brains!

  • People-- okay, all right. So we're calling this a zombie pizza.

  • So here's the deal, just to set the stage here.

  • - (Link) Look at it. - (Rhett) The sauce is congealed pig

  • blood. The brains are pig brains, and in case that wasn't enough, we also have

  • - head cheese, which I learned today-- - Gotta have cheese on a pizza.

  • It's different parts of a cow's head, inside the brain...

  • - Mushed together... - Mushed together into a cheese format.

  • - And then sliced. - (gags) Oh no.

  • (Rhett laughs) You can't vomit before we eat it, man!

  • - (groans) And why are the slices so big? - Hey, this pizza has thoughts.

  • - Pig thoughts. - And cow thoughts.

  • And cow thoughts! Like, (gruffly) Where's the food? (normally) It actually doesn't--

  • - (gags) Oh, no. - (laughs) Okay, c'mon now.

  • I hadn't really thought this through ahead of time.

  • - Is that a pun? - (all laugh)

  • - No. Ain't trying to be funny. - (silly voice) I don't know what I think

  • about this one. (normally) C'mon, let's do it, man.

  • (quietly) I've really gotta get angry at this to do it.

  • - Who are we fooling, man? - Right, right, right, right, right.

  • - C'mon! - Oh gosh, c'mon, c'mon, let's do a

  • countdown! (growls) I'm so angry at this pizza!

  • - Three! - (in unison) Two!

  • - One!

  • (gags)

  • (gags)

  • (retches)