AND FOR ONCE IT'S NOT MY FAULT.

這次破例，不再是我的錯了

RESEARCHERS HAVE CONFIRMED THAT THEY'VE FOUND THE FIRST SELFIE

學者已經證實他們找到了有史以來的

EVER TAKEN.

第一張自拍照

THIS IS TRUE. IT'S FROM 1839.

這是真的，它出自於西元1839年

HERE IT IS, AND...

就是這張

[laughter]

[笑聲]

IT LOOKS KINDA ROUGH, BUT HE WAS THE ZAC EFRON OF HIS TIME,

這張看來有點粗糙，但他應該是那個時代的柴克艾弗隆吧

I THINK.

我的觀察啦

HE HAD TO SET HIS CAMERA UP,

他必須先把他的相機架好

AND THEN HE HAD TO HOLD THE POSITION

然後他還得定住那個姿勢

FOR, LIKE, 15 MINUTES

維持大概十五分鐘

WHILE IT TOOK THE PHOTO.

同時拍下照片

THAT'S WHY NO ONE'S EVER SMILING IN THOSE OLD-TIMEY PHOTOS.

這就是為甚麼過去的照片裡都沒什麼人笑了

AFTER ABOUT TEN MINUTES, YOU START LOSING THAT SMILE.

過了大約十分鐘後，你就會開始失去笑容了

THEY'RE VERY HUNGRY AND ANGRY BY THE TIME IT CLICKS.

等到相機拍下去的時候，他們已經又氣又餓的了

CAMERAS HAVE CHANGED SO MUCH SINCE THEN.

相機從那時起改變了很多

WHEN I WAS GROWING UP, CAMERAS USED ACTUAL FILM.

我從小長大的時候，相機是使用膠捲底片的

WHO REMEMBERS ACTUAL FILM?

誰還記得膠捲底片？

WOW.

哇！

MOST OF YOU. THAT'S GREAT.

大部分的人耶，不錯嘛

[chuckles]

[竊笑]

OTHER PEOPLE ARE LIKE, "WHAT'S FILM?"

其他人表示：「甚麼是底片啊？」

YOU HAD TO LOAD IT YOURSELF,

你要自己把底片裝進去

AND YOU HAD TO TREAT THE FILM LIKE--JUST OH, SO CAREFULLY,

然後你對待底片要非常小心

LIKE IT WAS A NEWBORN BABY OR SOMETHING.

就像在對待剛出生的嬰兒之類的

YOU HAD TO MAKE SURE IT WASN'T EXPOSED TO THE LIGHT,

還要確保底片沒有曝光於光線下

AND THEN YOU HAD TO PUT IT

接著你要把它裝進

IN ITS OWN LITTLE SPECIAL DARK CONTAINER.

它專屬的黑色小容器裡

WELL, IT WAS MORE LIKE A VAMPIRE THAN A BABY, BUT ANYWAY...

好吧，它其實比較像吸血鬼不像新生兒，總之

AFTER EVERY PICTURE, YOU HAD TO WIND THE FILM,

每拍一張照片，你就要轉一次底片

WHICH WAS EXHAUSTING.

那超累的

YOU HAD TO WIND IT.

你必須轉動它

AND THEN YOU COULDN'T DEVELOP IT

然後你還不能沖洗底片

UNTIL THE WHOLE ROLL WAS USED.

直到你把整捲都用完

SO BY THE END, YOU'RE JUST, LIKE--

所以到最後，就變成

YOU'RE JUST TAKING PICTURES OF ANYTHING.

你只能到處亂拍

JUST, YOU KNOW, LIKE...

就，你知道的，比如說

SHOES, CLICK. GRASS, CLICK.

鞋子，喀擦，草地，喀擦

MY LUNCH, CLICK.

我的午餐，喀擦

AND THEN AT SOME POINT, YOU KNOW,

然後到了某時

YOU GET YOUR PICTURES BACK,

你拿回你的照片

BUT YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THEM FOR A WHILE,

但你已經一陣子沒看到它們了

AND--AND IT'S LIKE,

因此你就會想

"I WENT TO THE GRAND CANYON? WHEN DID I DO THAT?

「我去過大峽谷嗎？我什麼時候去的？

I HAVE NO IDEA."

我完全沒有印象耶。」

'CAUSE YOU HAD TO WAIT FOR IT TO COME OUT.

因為你必須等照片洗出來

THERE WAS NO SCREEN FOR YOU TO CHECK OR ANYTHING.

沒有螢幕給你查看或甚麼的

AND NOW EVERYONE'S GOT DIGITAL CAMERAS EVERYWHERE.

但現在大家到處都有數位相機

WE TAKE PICTURES OF STUFF ALL DAY LONG.

我們整天都在拍東西

AND WE NEVER DELETE THEM. EVER.

而且我們都不會刪掉它們，從不。

SO YOU WIND UP WITH LIKE, 10 MILLION PHOTOS OF YOUR CAT.

結果才發現你拍了快一千萬張你貓咪的照片

AND YOU ONLY NEED 9 MILLION, REALLY.

你只需要九百萬張的，其實。

[laughter]

[笑聲]

DON'T YOU MISS HAVING PHYSICAL COPIES OF YOUR PICTURES?

你難道不懷念拿到照片的實體備份嗎？

audience: YES.

觀眾：「懷念！」

- THAT'S WHAT MADE POLAROID CAMERAS SO GREAT.

所以這就是為甚麼拍立得會這麼棒了

YOU WOULD TAKE A PHOTO,

你拍了張照片

AND IT WOULD POP OUT "INSTANTANLY"--INSTANTANEOUSLY.

照片會＂立上＂跑出來⋯立刻馬上啦。

INSTANTLY. AND...

立刻⋯

[laughter]

[笑聲]

RIGHT AWAY.

馬上

WHY DO I TRY TO USE BIG WORDS AND IMPRESS YOU PEOPLE?

我幹嘛試著用冗詞來唬住你們？

WELL, NOW, POLAROID HAS A DIGITAL CAMERA

總之，現在拍立得有數位版的了

THAT PRINTS INSTANTLY.

它能立刻列印

ANDY, WHERE IS IT?

安迪，它在哪裡？

I WANT TO SHOW YOU ALL WHAT THIS IS.

我想秀給你們看這是甚麼

ANDY. OKAY.

安迪，好

SO TAKE A PICTURE OF ME AND MY LOVELY AUDIENCE RIGHT HERE.

幫我跟我可愛的觀眾們在這裡拍張照

[scattered cheers]

[散布的歡呼聲]

OKAY.

好的

AND THEN YOU JUST HIT PRINT, RIGHT?

然後按下列印，對吧？

AND THEN IT'S GONNA COME OUT.

接著它就會出來了

- THERE YOU GO. - ALL RIGHT.

有了，沒問題

OKAY, SO IT'S GONNA COME OUT IN A MINUTE,

好的，它很快就洗出來了

BUT WHILE WE WAIT FOR THAT TO HAPPEN,

在等照片洗出來的同時

LET'S DANCE.

我們跳舞吧！