a married couple living in the Bronx in New York City,

是一對居住在紐約布朗克斯的夫妻，

invented something.

他們有一項發明，

They got a patent in 1965 for what they call,

在1965年獲得專利，

"a device to assist women in giving birth."

他們稱其為“協助婦女分娩的裝置”。

This device consists of a large, round table

這個裝置由一個很大圓桌

and some machinery.

及一些機械裝置組成，

When the woman is ready to deliver her child,

當孕婦將要臨盆時，

she lies on her back,

讓她平躺下來，

she is strapped down to the table,

並將她捆綁在桌子上。

and the table is rotated at high speed.

接著平台開始高速旋轉，

The child comes flying out

小孩就藉由離心力飛出來。(笑聲)

through centrifugal force.

如果你仔細檢視他們的專利，

If you look at their patent carefully,

特別是如果你有任何工程背景或天分，

especially if you have any engineering background or talent,

你可能會看到 這個設計有一兩項缺點。(笑聲)

you may decide that you see

加州的艾凡‧施瓦布醫生

one or two points where the design is not perfectly adequate. (Laughter)

是幫忙解答以下問題的主要人物之一：

Doctor Ivan Schwab in California

“為什麼啄木鳥不會頭痛？”

is one of the people, one of the main people,

最後得出的結論是：

who helped answer the question,

因為牠們頭蓋骨包覆大腦的方式

"Why don't woodpeckers get headaches?"

與人類不同，

And it turns out the answer to that

當然，人類大腦也被頭蓋骨包覆着。

is because their brains

而牠們，啄木鳥，通常

are packaged inside their skulls

就是把頭撞向樹幹，

in a way different from the way

每天上千下，每天哦！

our brains, we being human beings,

而據我們所知，

true, have our brains packaged.

這對牠們一點傷害都沒有。 為什麼會這樣呢？

They, the woodpeckers, typically

牠們的大腦不會像人類的那樣搖盪，

will peck, they will bang their head

而是與頭殼緊密地連接在一起，

on a piece of wood thousands of times every day. Every day!

至少可應付來自前方的撞擊。

And as far as anyone knows,

一直以來人們都很少關注這個研究，

that doesn't bother them in the slightest.

直到最近幾年，

How does this happen?

特別在美國，

Their brain does not slosh around like ours does.

人們開始感到好奇，

Their brain is packed in very tightly,

那些經常撞到頭的橄欖球運動員，

at least for blows coming right from the front.

他們的大腦是否會因此受傷害。

Not too many people paid attention

啄木鳥的研究可能就與此相關。

to this research until the last few years

幾年前，在英國《刺胳針》 醫學期刊上刊出一篇論文，題為

when, in this country especially,

《手指刺傷後，五年來 一直發出腐臭味的男人》，

people are becoming curious about

卡洛琳‧米爾斯醫生和她的團隊

what happens to the brains of football players

接收了這位病人，卻束手無策。

who bang their heads repeatedly.

這位手指受傷的男人，

And the woodpecker maybe relates to that.

他的工作是處理雞肉，

There was a paper published

受傷之後他就變得非常非常臭，

in the medical journal The Lancet

臭到當他在房間時，

in England a few years ago called

連醫護人員都無法 忍受與他呆在一個房間裡，

" A man who pricked his finger and smelled putrid for 5 years."

味道真的令人難以忍受。

Dr. Caroline Mills and her team

他們嘗試了所能想到的各種藥物

received this patient and didn't really know what to do about it.

和每一種治療方法，

The man had cut his finger,

一年後，他依舊散發腐爛的氣味，

he worked processing chickens,

兩年後，情況依舊，

and then he started to smell really, really bad.

三年、四年，還是有濃濃的腐爛氣味，

So bad that when he got in a room

五年後，臭味自動消失了！

with the doctors and the nurses,

此案例至今是個謎。

they couldn't stand being in the room with him.

在紐西蘭，莉安 • 帕金博士和她的團隊

It was intolerable.

在她的城市試驗了一個古老的傳統，

They tried every drug,

他們住在一個滿是大山丘的城市，

every other treatment they could think of.

像舊金山那裡的山丘，

After a year, he still smelled putrid.

在冬季那裡非常寒冷，

After two years, still smelled putrid.

冷到結冰，

Three years, four years, still smelled putrid.

所以常常有人滑倒受傷。

After five years, it went away on its own.

他們試驗的傳統就是：

It's a mystery.

他們請早上去上班的人們，

In New Zealand, Dr. Lianne Parkin

停下來進行兩項試驗中的一種，

and her team tested an old tradition in her city.

這個傳統是：在那個城市的冬天

They live in a city that has huge hills,

你將襪子穿在靴子的外面。

San Francisco-grade hills.

他們從試驗的生動畫面中發現，

And in the winter there, it gets very cold

是真的，

and very icy.

如果你將襪子穿在 靴子外面而不是裡面，

There are lots of injuries.

就比較不容易滑倒。

The tradition that they tested,

我希望你們會同意，

they tested by asking people

我剛剛談到的這些研究，

who were on their way to work in the morning,

每一項都應該拿到某種獎項。(笑聲)

to stop and try something out.

他們確實有得到，

Try one of two conditions.

剛介紹的每一項都拿到搞笑(Ig)諾貝爾獎，

The tradition is that in the winter,

我和一些人在1991年

in that city, you wear your socks on the outside of your boots.

創立了搞笑諾貝爾獎，

And what they discovered by experiment,

每一年我們頒發十個搞笑諾貝爾獎，

and it was quite graphic when they saw it,

這個獎只有一個簡單的得獎標準，

was that it's true.

就是你做的能讓人發笑，然後思考。

That if you wear your socks on the outside rather than the inside,

不管是什麼，

you're much more likely to survive and not slip and fall.

當人第一次接觸到它時，

Now, I hope you will agree with me that these things

他們唯一的反應是笑，

I've just described to you,

然後，在一週後，

each of them, deserves some kind of prize. (Laughter)

那件事仍盤踞在他們的腦中，

And that's what they got,

他們唯一想做的就是與朋友分享，

each of them got an Ig Nobel prize.

那就是我們要找的特質。

In 1991, I, together with bunch of other people,

每一年我們收到大約九千件

started the Ig Nobel prize ceremony.

新的搞笑諾貝爾獎提名，

Every year we give out 10 prizes.

其中，一直都有10%到20%

The prizes are based on just one criteria. It's very simple.

是來自自我推薦。

It's that you've done something that makes people laugh and then think.

（笑聲）

What you've done makes people laugh and then think.

這些自行提名的絕少得獎，

Whatever it is, there's something about it

從數據來看， 就算你很想得獎，得獎的機會微乎其微，

that when people encounter it at first,

同樣就算你不想得獎， 得獎的機會還是微乎其微。

their only possible reaction is to laugh.

你知道嗎，當我們選中一個

And then a week later,

搞笑諾貝爾獎得主，

it's still rattling around in their heads

我們會先私下與他聯絡，

and all they want to do is tell their friends about it.

我們給他們一個

That's the quality we look for.

拒絕領獎的機會，

Every year, we get in the neighborhood

我們很高興，幾乎每位被選中的得主

of 9,000 new nominations for the Ig Nobel prize.

都決定接受這個獎。

Of those, consistently between 10 percent

作為搞笑諾貝爾獎得主， 你會得到什麼呢？

and 20 percent of those nominations

你會得到幾個東西：

are people who nominate themselves.

一個搞笑諾貝爾獎座，

Those self-nominees almost never win.

每年的獎座設計都不一樣，(笑聲)

It's very difficult, numerically, to win a prize if you want to.

它們都是用非常便宜的材料手工製成，

Even if you don't want to,

你現在看到的是

it's very difficult numerically.

我們去年(2013)頒發的獎座。

You should know that when we choose somebody

世上大多數的獎項

to win an Ig Nobel prize,

都會頒發一些獎金，

We get in touch with that person, very quietly.

我們沒有任何經費，所以無法頒獎金。

We offer them the chance to decline

事實上，獲獎者得自費來參加頒獎，

this great honor if they want to.

但大部分的人會來。

Happily for us, almost everyone who's offered a prize

去年，我們湊了一點錢，

decides to accept.

給十位得獎者

What do you get if you win an Ig Nobel prize?

每一位都十兆元的獎金，十兆元耶！

Well, you get several things.

一張十兆元的辛巴威紙鈔。(笑聲)

You get an Ig Nobel prize.

你可能記得辛巴威 在過去幾年稍有波折，

The design is different every year.

就是通貨膨脹，

These are always handmade from extremely cheap materials.

他們最後印的紙鈔

You're looking at a picture

最高票面金額達十兆元。

of the prize we gave last year, 2013.

順便提一下，負責此事的國家銀行總裁

Most prizes in the world also give

贏得了搞笑諾貝爾獎的數學獎。(笑聲)

their winners some cash, some money.

另外，你會得到一張 搞笑諾貝爾獎頒獎典禮的邀請函，

We don't have any money,

典禮是在哈佛大學舉行，

so we can't give them.

當你來到哈佛最大的會議室兼教室，

In fact, the winners have to pay their own way

你會看到在可容納1100千人的會場 擠得水泄不通。

to come to the Ig Nobel ceremony,

而在舞台上 等著和你握手並頒獎給你的是

which most of them do.

一堆(真正的)諾貝爾獎得主。

Last year, though, we did manage to scrape up some money.

那是整個典禮的精髓，

Last year, each of the 10 Ig Nobel prize winners

直到那一刻，獲獎者名單仍是秘密，

received from us 10 trillion dollars.

即使那些會與他們握手的諾貝爾獎得主

A $10 trillion bill from Zimbabwe. (Laughter)

也不知道誰是得獎者，直到名字被公佈。

You may remember that Zimbabwe had a little adventure

現在我要跟你們分享一些

for a few years there of inflation.

我們頒發的醫療相關獎項，

They ended up printing bills

提醒你我們已頒發了230個獎項。

that were in denominations as large as 100 trillion dollars.

許多得主可能在你們之中，

The man responsible, who runs the national bank there, by the way,

或者你自己就是。

won an Ig Nobel prize in mathematics.

30年前，有一篇發表的論文題目是

The other thing you win is an invitation

”墜落的椰子導致的傷害”，

to come to the ceremony,

作者是加拿大的彼得‧巴爾斯醫生，

which happens at Harvard University.

巴爾斯醫生在頒典禮時解釋，

And when you get there,

當他是年輕醫生時，想要看看世界，

you come to Harvard's biggest meeting place and classroom.

所以他去了巴布亞紐幾內亞，

It fits 1,100 people,

當他在當地醫院工作時，

it's jammed to the gills,

他很好奇當地人送醫的原因為何？

and up on the stage,

他翻閱了醫療記錄後，

waiting to shake your hand,

驚奇得發現，

waiting to hand you your Ig Nobel prize,

相當多的病人是因為

are a bunch of Nobel prize winners.

被墜落的椰子砸傷而送醫。

That's the heart of the ceremony.

典型的事件經過是：

The winners are kept secret until that moment,

一些來自沒有許多 椰子樹的高地人，

even the Nobel laureates who will shake their hand

來到有許多椰子樹的海邊拜訪親戚，

don't know who they are until they're announced.

他們想椰子樹下似乎是

I am going to tell you about just a very few

很適合站立或躺下的地方，

of the other medical-related prizes we've given.

椰子樹有27公尺高，

Keep in mind, we've given 230 prizes.

每個椰子約0.9公斤重，隨時可能會掉下來。

There are lots of these people who walk among you.

有一組在歐洲的醫生

Maybe you have one.

發表了一系列有關大腸鏡檢查的論文，

A paper was published about 30 years ago

各位應該對大腸鏡檢查 多少知道一些，

called "Injuries due to Falling Coconuts."

有些知道還不止一些。

It was written by Dr. Peter Barss,

在這些論文裡，

who is Canadian.

他們對進行大腸鏡檢查的醫生解釋，

Dr. Barss came to the ceremony

如何降低病人進行 大腸鏡檢查時爆炸的機率，

and explained that as a young doctor,

（笑聲）

he wanted to see the world.

其中一位作者艾曼紐勒‧貝蘇桑醫生

So he went to Papua New Guinea.

從巴黎飛來參加頒獎典禮，

When he got there, he went to work in a hospital, and he was curious

在典禮中，他解釋了有關這方面的歷史，

what kinds of things happen to people that bring them to the hospital.

在1950年代，

He looked through the records, and he discovered

那時大腸鏡檢查才開始 成為一個普遍的技術，

that a surprisingly large number of people

大家都在摸索怎麼做最好，

in that hospital were there

剛開始時有些困難，

because of injuries due to falling coconuts.

你們對根本的問題應有些熟悉，

One typical thing that happens is

你得從一個很長、很窄 又很黑的地方看進去，

people will come from the highlands, where there are not many coconut trees,

你會希望有比較寬闊的空間，

down to visit their relatives on the coast,

所以你會灌入一些氣體使它膨脹，

where there are lots.

讓你有空間可以看清楚，

And they'll think that a coconut tree

在裡面原已存在甲烷

is a fine place to stand and maybe lie down.

起初他們大多數灌入氧氣，

A coconut tree that is 90 feet tall,

他們將氧氣加入原有的甲烷相混和，

and has coconuts that weigh two pounds

然後為了他們能夠看清楚，

that can drop off at any time.

他們需要亮光，

A team of doctors in Europe

所以就加上光源，

published a series of papers about colonoscopies.

在1950年代，光源是很熱的，

You're all familiar with colonoscopies,

就這樣，你有了易燃的甲烷，

one way or another.

氧氣和熱源，

Or in some cases,

他們很快就停用氧氣了。（笑聲）

one way and another.

現在，很少有病人會爆炸，

They, in these papers,

但是偶而仍會發生。

explained to their fellow doctors who perform colonoscopies,

最後我要告訴你們的是我們頒發給

how to minimize the chance

伊蓮娜‧巴特那醫生的獎項。

that when you perform a colonoscopy,

她發明了一個在緊急時可以 很快拆開變成兩個口罩的胸罩。

your patient will explode. (Laughter)

一個可以救你自己的命 ，

Dr. Emmanuel Ben-Soussan

另外一個可以救很幸運的旁觀者。(笑聲)

one of the authors,

你可能會想， 為什麼會有人要做這個？

flew in from Paris to the ceremony,

巴特那醫生來到頒獎典禮，她解釋說：

where he explained the history of this,

她在烏克蘭長大，

that in the 1950s,

她是治療車諾比核能廠

when colonoscopies were becoming a common technique for the first time,

核災受害者的醫生之一，

people were figuring out how to do it well.

他們後來發現

And there were some difficulties at first.

許多最嚴重的醫療問題，

The basic problem, I'm sure you're familiar with,

都導於因病患吸入的物體，

that you're looking inside a long, narrow, dark place.

之後她就經常在想，

And so, you want to have a larger space.

若是意外發生時，有什麼是 簡單又隨手可得的口罩，

You add some gas to inflate it

多年後，她移居美國

so you have room to look around.

並生了一個小孩，

Now, that's added to the gas, the methane gas,

有一天，她看到小孩揀起她在地上的胸罩，

that's already inside.

並將它放在臉上，

The gas that they used at first, in many cases, was oxygen.

那就是她的靈感來源。

So they added oxygen to methane gas.

她來參加頒獎典禮時，

And then they wanted to be able to see,

還帶了第一個原型樣本

they needed light,

現場進行示範。

so they'd put in a light source,

（笑聲和掌聲）

which in the 1950s was very hot.

[保羅‧庫格曼，2008年諾貝爾經濟獎得主]

So you had methane gas, which is flammable,

[沃爾夫岡‧克特勒，2001年諾貝爾物理獎得主]

oxygen and heat.

我自己也擁有一個緊急用胸罩，(笑聲)

They stopped using oxygen pretty quickly. (Laughter)

這是我最喜歡的胸罩，

Now it's rare that patients will explode,

但有需要時，我會很樂意 和你們任何一個人分享。

but it does still happen.

謝謝！

The final thing that I want to tell you about is a prize

(掌聲)

we gave to Dr. Elena Bodnar.

Dr. Elena Bodnar invented a brassiere

that in an emergency

can be quickly separated

into a pair of protective face masks.

One to save your life,

one to save the life of some lucky bystander. (Laughter)

Why would someone do this, you might wonder.

Dr. Bodnar came to the ceremony

and she explained that she grew up in Ukraine.

She was one of the doctors who treated victims

of the Chernobyl power plant meltdown.

And they later discovered that

a lot of the worst medical problems

came from the particles people breathed in.

So she was always thinking after that

about could there be some simple mask

that was available everywhere when the unexpected happens.

Years later, she moved to America.

She had a baby,

One day she looked, and on the floor,

her infant son had picked up her bra,

and had her bra on his face.

And that's where the idea came from.

She came to the Ig Nobel ceremony