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  • Can you see them? Are they still coming?

  • I think we lost them in those trees that looked like wicker people.

  • What about there? That could be the torches. Get down!

  • Hey - everyone who still might be watching and welcome to the christmas version of this vlog

  • happening in this very creepy diner instead of my Dad's nice cozy home

  • all because of our unexpected need to flee the Silas Campus several days ago.

  • And because, when we finally hiked to the nearest town and tried to explain our situation

  • someone...tried to bite their mayor. So they formed a mob.

  • With torches.

  • And pitchforks.

  • And chased us here. Happy Holidays!

  • I still don't see why you killjoys stopped me. One less politician in the world.

  • It's Christmas. You don't murder people for Christmas!

  • A holiday where you can't kill people is a stupid holiday.

  • All of you! Shhh! They will hear us!

  • Actually...kind of looks like they're moving away

  • ...or at least not getting any closer. (Beat.) Well, I guess we can just hole up in here. Wherever here is...

  • Hole up here? How long is that going to be?

  • Do you want to go send the Bobsey twins out there to ask them?

  • So we're stuck here indefinitely? Awesome.

  • What's with you? Did one of those Styrian whackjobs graze you with a pitchfork?

  • No, no- I'm fine.

  • It could be much worse. It looks like this used to be some kind of diner...or bakery or something. Maybe we'll find some food.

  • Waaaay ahead of you. [Perry smacks cookie out of LaF's hands]

  • I'm not sure those are edible. Ooo, a hot chocolate machine!

  • Alright I'm going to regret this, but: what's wrong?

  • Oh, I don't know - maybe that we had to flee school and hike through the mountains! And there's no cell coverage so my Dad probably thinks

  • I died in the earthquake and there's a mob chasing us and- It's Christmas. And I'm supposed to be watching the BBC Christmas Specials with my Dad

  • And making gingerbread, and hot chocolate, and -

  • and you think all that's stupid.

  • And useless and sentimental. But when has that ever stopped you before?

  • Come on, we'll stick candles in expired East German snack cakes and...we'll have our own Christmas.

  • Yeah. It's not the same.

  • [computer glitches]

  • Was someone just here?

  • [staring at the cider] Were those here before?

  • Mmrf. Corn syrup and diglycerides, baby.

  • Normally, I'm not a fan of mass-produced confections, but these are amazing!

  • Remember those cookies your mom used to make for Chanukkah?

  • Oh, yes remember those with the little candy cane bits? [flashes again, glitches to Mama Klaus]

  • So that's kind of weird.

  • Can I help you girls?

  • Sorry! We just...didn't know anyone else was here, what with the dust and the spiders - and everything -

  • Oh don't be silly. This is the Klaus Kuchen Haus, the most famous Christmas Destination in all of Austria.

  • We built it here after we had to leave the pole.

  • That unfortunate business with the reindeer, you know...

  • But look at you poor birds: Exhausted, all alone, so far from home! Let Mama whip you up a Christmas treat!

  • All of your favourite things, let me see we have uh, Peppermint Fudge, and cranberry tarts

  • and...blood...sausage? Eucch.

  • And gingerbread with cider.

  • That's amazing!

  • Try the gingerbread. It's my specialty.

  • Oh, really.

  • So when I offer, it's all "you don't understand, Carmilla" oh "you can't kill people for Christmas, Carmilla." But some old diner lady hauls her creepy gingerbread and-

  • [tiny screams from cookie] Her really..creepy gingerbread.

  • What's the matter, sweet girl? Would you like something else? Jellybeans or gumdrops? Chocolate cake or marzipan?

  • No, that's okay - this is wonderful. It's just - I miss my dad.

  • Of course you do. I miss all my little helpers. And my fat husband.

  • Did something happen to them?

  • Well, once the customers stopped coming certain...sacrifices had to be made. They didn't agree with Kris and his Elfen.

  • But food can be such a comfort. You just let the sugar and the butter and the spice fill you right up to the brim.

  • It's the stuff of life!

  • Gingerbread cookies?

  • Of course!

  • Can I borrow you for a second?

  • Yeah sure

  • You want a cookie?

  • Maybe later. (Beat.) You don't think any of this is suspicious?

  • Any of what?

  • The magical treats? The angry mob too scared to come in here, the gingerbread dioramas of doom...

  • Please. She is literally Mama Klaus. A sweet lady who likes Christmas.

  • Have you seen those things?

  • Ok, just because you hate the holidays -

  • This isn't about me hating Christmas.

  • Fine, whatever you say, Scrooge McVampire.

  • Seriously?

  • Fine.

  • There's plenty more merry where that came from.

  • [Sigh.]

  • [Huff]

  • You two are a lot of help.

  • Weird, Christmas-hating vampire.

  • She probably goes around pretending to be Krampus and telling kids Santa died in their chimneys.

  • Um...guys?

  • How many of these have you eaten?

  • A truly alarming quantity.

  • I think I'd like to stop now. I'm starting to feel like I'm made of cookies.

  • Ohhhh crap.

  • Why aren't you eating dear? It's Christmastime. Indulge yourself.

  • Um I'm just so worried about my sugar intake, what with heart-health diabetes and ...

  • No need to worry about those things, my little Lebkuchen. My little Weinachten snack.

  • Yeah...Just so we're clear. You totally turn people into gingerbread and eat them, don't you?

  • [Laura avoids Mama's swipe]

  • It's been so long since Mama's had a Christmas Feast!

  • I'll roast you like those bastard reindeer!

  • Haha. Yep. Okay. CARMILLA?

  • Oh, really? Because I wouldn't want to ruin your holiday fun...

  • Evil Christmas lady trying to eat me here!

  • you know, with all of my inappropriate mayor biting and talk about murdering people for Christmas -

  • MURDER HER FOR CHRISTMAS!!

  • MURDER HER FOR CHRISTMAS!!

  • [Resigned Sigh]

  • [GRUESOME DISMEMBERING SOUNDS AND SCREECHES]

  • [computer glitch]

  • So, I am pleased to announce that we survived our trial by cannibalistic Christmas witch.

  • And watching Carmilla disembowel said witch seems to have scared off the mob.

  • Hey.

  • Hey.

  • Look what I've found.

  • Oh, I am so never eating gingerbread again.

  • Oh, you have a little -

  • something - right there

  • Ew. [giggles]

  • Look.

  • I know I'm not so good with the "feelings" thing...

  • but

  • I'm sorry things are so messed up at school.

  • and

  • I'm sorry that you're not spending Christmas with your Dad.

  • Thanks.

  • As Christmas company goes, you're not so bad yourself.

  • For a vampire.

  • Merry Christmas, Carm.

Can you see them? Are they still coming?

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B2 中高級 美國腔

卡米拉|聖誕特輯 (Carmilla | The Christmas Special)

  • 157 9
    Casandra Huang 發佈於 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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