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  • So my moment of truth

    我的人生轉捩點,並沒有一次全部發生

  • did not come all at once.

    在2010年,我很榮幸被提名為 美國國務院的政策計劃主任

  • In 2010, I had the chance to be considered

    這是我該挺身而進的時刻

  • for promotion from my job

    讓我向前跨一大步

  • as director of policy planning

    因為這是千載難逢的頂尖外交政策工作

  • at the U.S. State Department.

    我才剛為國務卿柯林頓女士 順利完成一項18個月的大型專案

  • This was my moment to lean in,

    我知道我可以勝任更重大的工作

  • to push myself forward

    要是以前的我一定會說「好!」

  • for what are really only a handful

    可是,我在過去兩年經常在 華盛頓州和紐澤西州兩地往返

  • of the very top foreign policy jobs,

    由於我先生和兩個十歲的兒子住在那裏

  • and I had just finished a big, 18-month project

    而這件事進展的不是很順利

  • for Secretary Clinton, successfully,

    我想要擠出兩年的時間在華盛頓工作

  • and I knew I could handle a bigger job.

    或是把我兒子和丈夫 從他們的學校及公司遷移至此

  • The woman I thought I was

    請求他們和我一起努力

  • would have said yes.

    在我心深處,其實我知道 回家才是正確的決定

  • But I had been commuting for two years

    即便我發現我已經 無法認識那個做決定的我了

  • between Washington and Princeton, New Jersey,

    這是個基於愛與責任的決定

  • where my husband and my two teenage sons lived,

    我無法看著我大兒子一直做錯誤的決定

  • and it was not going well.

    而我卻在他需要我的時候不在他的身邊

  • I tried on the idea of eking out another two years

    然而真正的改變卻慢慢地顯現出來

  • in Washington, or maybe uprooting my sons

    事隔了一年

  • from their school and my husband from his work

    家人的生活步調慢慢走上軌道

  • and asking them to join me.

    我才發現

  • But deep down, I knew

    即便我可以回到政府工作

  • that the right decision was to go home,

    而我卻不想

  • even if I didn't fully recognize the woman

    我不想錯過過去五年 在家裡陪兒子的那段時間

  • who was making that choice.

    我終於能讓自己去接受

  • That was a decision based on love

    對我來說什麼才是最重要的事

  • and responsibility.

    而不是決定自己想要的事

  • I couldn't keep watching my oldest son

    或是習慣自己所做的決定

  • make bad choices

    這樣的決定讓我重新評估

  • without being able to be there for him

    那伴隨並支持我成長的女權故事

  • when and if he needed me.

    我也一直把它奉為圭臬

  • But the real change came more gradually.

    至今我仍完全信奉著性別平等的理想

  • Over the next year,

    但讓我們先來思考平等究竟意味著什麼

  • while my family was righting itself,

    以及如何盡可能實現它

  • I started to realize

    我總是相信著一種想法

  • that even if I could go back into government,

    那就是最受尊敬及有權力的人

  • I didn't want to.

    在社會上都是位於高階職位的男性

  • I didn't want to miss the last five years

    所以在衡量男女平等這事情上

  • that my sons were at home.

    照理是探討多少女性人在高階職位上

  • I finally allowed myself to accept

    像是首相、總裁、高階經理

  • what was really most important to me,

    部長、經理人、諾貝爾獎得主、領導者

  • not what I was conditioned to want

    我們仍然覺得應該努力去實現那個目標

  • or maybe what I conditioned myself to want,

    但這只是平等的一半而已

  • and that decision led to a reassessment

    我現在認為這永遠無法實現

  • of the feminist narrative that I grew up with

    除非我們能了解剩下另一半

  • and have always championed.

    我覺得真正的平等

  • I am still completely committed

    完全的平等

  • to the cause of male-female equality,

    不代表我們用男性的標準 去實現那個目標

  • but let's think about what that equality really means,

    這代表要創造出更廣義的觀點

  • and how best to achieve it.

    來看待並尊重男女之間的平等選擇

  • I always accepted the idea

    要達成這樣的目標,我們必須改善工作規範

  • that the most respected and powerful people

    制度以及文化

  • in our society are men at the top of their careers,

    就工作場所而言

  • so that the measure of male-female equality

    真正的平等代表重視家庭

  • ought to be how many women are in those positions:

    等同於重視工作

  • prime ministers, presidents, CEOs,

    並且懂得這兩者相輔相成

  • directors, managers, Nobel laureates, leaders.

    身為領導人及經理人 我身體力行這句名言

  • I still think we should do everything we possibly can

    如果家庭是第一順位,那工作就不是其次

  • to achieve that goal.

    生活本身兩者兼顧

  • But that's only half of real equality,

    如果你為我工作,而你有家庭問題

  • and I now think we're never going to get there

    我希望你能照顧好家庭

  • unless we recognize the other half.

    這一點我很有把握

  • I suggest that real equality,

    事實上每次都能驗證

  • full equality,

    工作不只會做得好,還會越做越好

  • does not just mean valuing women

    勞工若有充分的理由 需要回家照顧孩子跟家人

  • on male terms.

    能擁有更高的專注力及工作效率

  • It means creating a much wider range

    也更重視工作的成果

  • of equally respected choices

    如養家餬口的人同時身兼照顧者

  • for women and for men.

    擁有更多的經驗和人脈

  • And to get there, we have to change our workplaces,

    試想有位律師花時間參加孩子學校的活動

  • our policies and our culture.

    同時也可以和其他家長交談

  • In the workplace,

    比起從未離開辦公室的律師能帶來更多客戶

  • real equality means valuing family

    而看護者的工作性質需要耐心

  • just as much as work,

    非常多的耐心

  • and understanding that the two reinforce each other.

    以及同理心、創造力、韌性、適應力

  • As a leader and as a manager,

    這些特質對高速化、平行化、 網路化的全球經濟更加重要

  • I have always acted on the mantra,

    頂尖的公司都知道這些特質

  • if family comes first,

    曾因彈性工作環境得獎過的美國公司

  • work does not come second --

    有些還是最成功的企業

  • life comes together.

    以及一份2008年 針對改變工作環境的調查

  • If you work for me, and you have a family issue,

    都顯示出員工在彈性 且有效率的工作環境下更加投入

  • I expect you to attend to it,

    也有更高的滿意度及忠誠度

  • and I am confident,

    壓力程度較低

  • and my confidence has always been borne out,

    心理也比較健康

  • that the work will get done, and done better.

    2012年一項對於員工所做的研究

  • Workers who have a reason to get home

    顯示出有高度彈性的作法

  • to care for their children or their family members

    其實可以降低營運成本

  • are more focused, more efficient,

    在全球服務經濟體下更可以增進適應力

  • more results-focused.

    你也許會覺得只有在美國 會有工作家庭失衡的問題

  • And breadwinners who are also caregivers

    可惜的是,現在不只是美國人才會有這種問題

  • have a much wider range

    20年前,我帶家人第一次去義大利

  • of experiences and contacts.

    我們享受當地午睡的文化

  • Think about a lawyer who spends part of his time

    午睡的習慣不只是躲避中午的熱氣

  • at school events for his kids

    這帶來的意義等同於家庭聚餐的溫暖

  • talking to other parents.

    現在當我們又拜訪當地,已經沒有那麼多商店

  • He's much more likely to bring in

    有午休的時間了

  • new clients for his firm

    這反映出國際企業的發展 和高度競爭環境中

  • than a lawyer who never leaves his office.

    所以,為我們所愛的人挪出點時間

  • And caregiving itself

    其實是全世界都迫切需要的

  • develops patience --

    就政策面來說

  • a lot of patience --

    真正的平等代表著要意識到 女性一直以來所做的工作

  • and empathy, creativity, resilience, adaptability.

    跟男性一直以來的工作是一樣重要的

  • Those are all attributes that are ever more important

    不論是誰做的

  • in a high-speed, horizontal,

    試想:養家糊口和照顧家人對於生存一樣重要

  • networked global economy.

    至少不在以物易物的經濟體系下

  • The best companies actually know this.

    有人必須要賺到收入

  • The companies that win awards

    其他家人就必須轉換該收入

  • for workplace flexibility in the United States

    用來照顧和供給他們所愛的家人

  • include some of our most successful corporations,

    大部分人聽到我說養家糊口和照顧家人

  • and a 2008 national study

    就會直接聯想成男性和女性的工作

  • on the changing workforce

    而我們通常不會質疑 為什麼男人的工作較具優勢

  • showed that employees

    如果是同性的情侶

  • in flexible and effective workplaces

    像是我的朋友莎拉和艾蜜莉

  • are more engaged with their work,

    他們都是精神科醫生

  • they're more satisfied and more loyal,

    他們五年前結婚

  • they have lower levels of stress

    現在有對兩歲的雙胞胎

  • and higher levels of mental health.

    他們都喜歡當媽媽,也喜歡他們的工作

  • And a 2012 study of employers

    他們也很擅長於自己的工作

  • showed that deep, flexible practices

    所以他們要怎麼分配

  • actually lowered operating costs

    養家糊口和照顧小孩的責任呢?

  • and increased adaptability

    是否該有任何一方停止工作

  • in a global service economy.

    或是降低工作時數待在家呢?

  • So you may think

    或著是雙方改變工作習慣

  • that the privileging of work over family

    才能擁有更彈性的時間呢?

  • is only an American problem.

    而又需要用哪種準則

  • Sadly, though, the obsession with work

    才能讓他們做出決定呢?

  • is no longer a uniquely American disease.

    應該是賺最多錢的人

  • Twenty years ago,

    還是最投入工作的人呢?

  • when my family first started going to Italy,

    或者是誰的上司最隨和?

  • we used to luxuriate in the culture of siesta.

    用同性婚姻的觀點可以讓我們看到

  • Siesta is not just about avoiding the heat of the day.

    應付工作及家人

  • It's actually just as much

    不只是女性的問題而已

  • about embracing the warmth of a family lunch.

    這應該是家庭的問題

  • Now, when we go, fewer and fewer businesses

    而莎拉和艾蜜莉是幸運的情侶

  • close for siesta,

    因為他們可以決定

  • reflecting the advance of global corporations

    他們有多想要投入工作

  • and 24-hour competition.

    數百萬的男女

  • So making a place for those we love

    都需要身兼賺錢養家及照顧家人的角色

  • is actually a global imperative.

    這樣才能賺到所需的薪水

  • In policy terms,

    而很多勞工覺得很困擾

  • real equality means recognizing

    他們拼湊起托育的安排

  • that the work that women have traditionally done

    有些安排不恰當

  • is just as important

    常常有些安排很危險

  • as the work that men have traditionally done,

    假使賺錢養家跟照顧孩子一樣的重要

  • no matter who does it.

    那我們的政府為什麼投入社會福利基金

  • Think about it: Breadwinning and caregiving

    用來照顧人們的健康

  • are equally necessary for human survival.

    無法跟經濟支柱的實體建設一樣多?

  • At least if we get beyond a barter economy,

    懂得這一點的政府

  • somebody has to earn an income

    其實你們都猜的到

  • and someone else has to convert that income

    這些政府分別是

  • to care and sustenance for loved ones.

    挪威、瑞典、丹麥及荷蘭

  • Now most of you, when you hear me

    都提供全面性的托育制度

  • talk about breadwinning and caregiving,

    政府支持在家和學校托育以及幼兒教育

  • instinctively translate those categories

    保護懷孕婦女

  • into men's work and women's work.

    照顧老年仁及身殘者

  • And we don't typically challenge

    這些政府投資這種基礎建設

  • why men's work is advantaged.

    和他們投資在道路、橋墩

  • But consider a same-sex couple

    隧道和火車的錢一樣多

  • like my friends Sarah and Emily.

    這些社會也讓你看到

  • They're psychiatrists.

    賺錢養家和照顧家人是相輔相成的

  • They got married five years ago,

    這些國家通常是最具經濟競爭力的前15名

  • and now they have two-year-old twins.

    不過同時

  • They love being mothers,

    他們在OECD美好生活指數中也名列前茅

  • but they also love their work,

    事實上,比起其他政府,像是我的國家美國

  • and they're really good at what they do.

    或是瑞士的名次都還要來得高

  • So how are they going to divide up

    這些國家平均收入水平頗高

  • breadwinning and caregiving responsibilities?

    不過在工作與生活的平衡上做得不好

  • Should one of them stop working

    所以改變我們的工作環境

  • or reduce hours to be home?

    並且建立起照護基礎建設

  • Or should they both change their practices

    就可以帶來改變

  • so they can have much more flexible schedules?

    要是我們沒有先改變自己的文化

  • And what criteria should they use

    就無法平等取得有價值的選擇

  • to make that decision?

    而所謂的文化改變需要

  • Is it who makes the most money

    就是讓男性再度社會化

  • or who is most committed to her career?

    (掌聲)

  • Or who has the most flexible boss?

    在已開發國家

  • The same-sex perspective helps us see

    社會中的女性相信自己

  • that juggling work and family

    不再只會待在家而已

  • are not women's problems,

    而男性卻還待在原處

  • they're family problems.

    社會中的男性深信他們需要養家賺錢

  • And Sarah and Emily are the lucky ones,

    他們的自我價值取決於職場上的升遷

  • because they have a choice

    女性主義的革命還有一大段路要努力

  • about how much they want to work.

    它顯然尚未完成

  • Millions of men and women

    在《女性的奧秘》一書出版六十年後

  • have to be both breadwinners and caregivers

    很多女性其實比起男性擁有更多的選擇

  • just to earn the income they need,

    我們可以選擇當養家賺錢的人

  • and many of those workers are scrambling.

    照顧孩子的人,或是兩者皆是

  • They're patching together care arrangements

    另一方面

  • that are inadequate

    如果男性選擇照顧孩子

  • and often actually unsafe.

    他的男子氣概就岌岌可危了

  • If breadwinning and caregiving are really equal,

    他的朋友可能會稱讚他的決定

  • then why shouldn't a government

    但暗地裡卻不以為然

  • invest as much in an infrastructure of care

    我們看待男性的標準

  • as the foundation of a healthy society

    不就是男性間互相競爭取得權力和聲望嗎?

  • as it invests in physical infrastructure

    越來越多女性也有這樣的觀點

  • as the backbone of a successful economy?

    我們知道許多女性 仍然把男性的吸引力的標準

  • The governments that get it --

    放在職場上的成就

  • no surprises here --

    女性可以輕易離開職場 卻還是充滿吸引力的伴侶

  • the governments that get it,

    對男性而言這是很冒險的作法

  • Norway, Sweden, Denmark, the Netherlands,

    我身為家長也是工作夥伴

  • provide universal child care,

    我們應該讓我們的兒子和丈夫變得更社會化

  • support for caregivers at home,

    讓他們成為想要的角色

  • school and early childhood education,

    不論是養家賺錢或是照顧孩子的人

  • protections for pregnant women,

    我們應該告訴他們照顧孩子是很酷的事

  • and care for the elderly and the disabled.

    (掌聲)

  • Those governments invest in that infrastructure

    我知道你們會覺得「不可能」

  • the same way they invest in roads and bridges

    事實上,這樣的改變真的在發生

  • and tunnels and trains.

    至少在美國

  • Those societies also show you

    很多男性對於烹飪引以為傲

  • that breadwinning and caregiving

    甚至對爐子很著迷

  • reinforce each other.

    有些男性會去產房

  • They routinely rank among the top 15 countries

    盡量爭取陪產假

  • of the most globally competitive economies,

    他們會帶小寶寶散步或是安撫學步的孩子

  • but at the same time,

    跟他們的太太一樣厲害

  • they rank very high on the OECD Better Life Index.

    這些男性做的家事也越來越多了

  • In fact, they rank higher than other governments,

    事實上,現在有很多男大學生

  • like my own, the U.S., or Switzerland,

    開始想要當「家庭主夫」

  • that have higher average levels of income

    這種事情在50年前甚至是30年前

  • but lower rankings on work-life balance.

    都無法絕對想像

  • So changing our workplaces

    在挪威,男性正常就有三個月的陪產假

  • and building infrastructures of care

    如果不想放陪產假,這假期就會消失

  • would make a big difference,

    一位高階政府官員告訴我

  • but we're not going to get equally valued choices

    公司會開始關注有潛力的男性員工

  • unless we change our culture,

    並且質疑這些不願意放假陪小孩的男員工

  • and the kind of cultural change required

    這代表說無法完全投入當爸爸的員工

  • means re-socializing men.

    是被視為有個性缺陷

  • (Applause)

    我從小就相信

  • Increasingly in developed countries,

    倡導女性的權力

  • women are socialized to believe that our place

    就是要我們竭盡所能

  • is no longer only in the home,

    讓女性站在最高處

  • but men are actually still where they always were.

    我仍希望我能活得夠老

  • Men are still socialized to believe

    才能看到男女在職場上取得平等地位

  • that they have to be breadwinners,

    我也相信我們對家庭的重視不亞於我們對工作的重視

  • that to derive their self-worth

    我們也應該懷抱著一個想法

  • from how high they can climb over other men

    為我們所愛的人做正確的事

  • on a career ladder.

    會讓我們所有事情做得更好

  • The feminist revolution still has a long way to go.

    30年前,一位傑出心理學家

  • It's certainly not complete.

    卡羅爾·吉利根研究青春期少女

  • But 60 years after

    並且發現關懷倫理

  • "The Feminine Mystique" was published,

    這種人性的特質就跟正義一樣的重要

  • many women actually have

    原來「漠不關心」

  • more choices than men do.

    其實就跟我們覺得「這不公平」一樣的重要

  • We can decide to be a breadwinner,

    比爾蓋茲也這麼認為

  • a caregiver, or any combination of the two.

    他覺得這兩種強大的人性

  • When a man, on the other hand,

    是自我主義同時也關懷他人

  • decides to be a caregiver,

    讓我們將這兩種天性結合在一起

  • he puts his manhood on the line.

    讓我們將女權革命變成人類革命

  • His friends may praise his decision,

    全人類都會變成更好的照顧者以及養家的人

  • but underneath, they're scratching their heads.

    你可能會覺得這無法實現

  • Isn't the measure of a man

    但是在我成長的社會

  • his willingness to compete with other men

    我的母親以前會在晚餐派對上放置菸灰缸

  • for power and prestige?

    那時黑人和白人用不同的廁所

  • And as many women hold that view as men do.

    當時人們都宣稱自己是異性戀

  • We know that lots of women

    (觀眾笑聲)