- I did, thank you. - That's exciting.

對啊，謝謝你。 很值得開心呢！

- I know. I know.

對啊，我知道。

- How long have you been together?

你們在一起多久了？

- How long-- we've been together--

多久了...我們在一起...

We've been together three years, I think.

我們在一起有三年了。

Yeah, we got married just before Christmas.

對，我們聖誕節前完婚的。

- And I heard she was late to the wedding？

然後我聽說她結婚典禮遲到，是嗎？

- [chuckles] This is true.

(笑) 那是真的。

My wife--God, it sounds so amazing

我老婆...天啊這聽起來真奇妙...

just after you get married.

...才剛新婚...

Or even the term sounds new.

...這稱謂聽起來好新鮮喔。

She has never been on time for anything in her life,

她這輩子從來沒有準時過，

and so my job was to find--

所以我的責任是...

One of my jobs was to find the venue,

我的其中一個責任是找場地，

and I made sure I found--

而且我確保...

The place where we were having the reception was next to the chapel so that when she didn't turn up on time,

...這個場地的接待處和教堂在隔壁，所以當她沒有準時出現時，

I could go and go, "Wait, incoming."

我可以跑過去大喊：等一下，她就快要來了。

And--but, no, she was a good half hour late.

但是，她只遲到半小時。

Her grandfather had to be sort of held back from going and summoning her.

她的祖父還要必須忍住不要去罵她。

But everyone else was really stressed,

大家都蠻緊張的，

but I was kind of relaxed

但我就在一旁很放心，

knowing she had never been on time for pretty much anything in her life.

因為我知道她大概這輩子從來沒有準時過。

- But you'd think she'd be on time for her wedding.

但你會想說她至少在她自己的婚禮會準時。

You'd think that would be the one day she'd be on time,

你會想說至少在這一天，她會準時之類的，

but it's very, very understanding of you.

但你真的非常非常體貼。

- Will you have a word with her? - I will.

你會幫我說說她吧？ 我會啊。

Where is she? - She's actually here in LA.

她在哪？ 她就在這呢，洛杉磯。

- I'll talk to her. Yeah.

我會跟她聊聊。

I don't understand the lateness.

我完全無法理解遲到這件事。

I'm early for everything.

我做任何事都早到。

Even if I try to be late, somehow time changes,

即使我嘗試要晚到，時間不知怎麼的就變了，

and I'm early.

然後我又早到了。

I don't--I'll talk to Stephen about that.

我不懂，我會跟史蒂芬 (在這指史蒂芬·霍金，他的專業就是研究時空) 討論這個。

Where did you go on your honeymoon?

你們去哪裡渡蜜月呢？

- We went--we went skiing over Christmas.

我們聖誕假期的時候去滑雪。

We went to the Alps, which was such a beautiful idea,

我們去了阿爾卑斯山，這個構想蠻棒的，

but unfortunately, there was no snow.

但很不幸的，完全沒有雪。

So we basically-- but that was an excuse

所以我們基本上...可以有藉口

just to take long lunches, drink a lot of red wine,

吃很久的中餐，喝很多紅酒，

and have a lot of fondue.

然後吃很多起司火鍋。

- I heard a little bit about this,

我聽說了這部分，

so I got you something as a honeymoon--as a wedding present.

所以我準備了一份...蜜月...結婚禮物。

Andy.

安迪～

- So you have some fondue. You have red wine.

所以你可以吃起司鍋、喝紅酒，

You have chocolate. - Wow.

還可以吃巧克力。 哇！

Chocolate, fondue set and wine.

巧克力、起司鍋器具組合，還有紅酒。

- Yup. - Thank you, Ellen.

對啊！謝謝你，艾倫。

- You're welcome.

不客氣。

And what's your wife's name?

然後你老婆叫什麼名字？

- Hannah. - Hannah.

漢娜。 漢娜。

I'm gonna talk to Hannah backstage

我要去幕後跟漢娜聊聊，

and explain to her why she needs to be on time.

向她解釋準時的重要性

Uh-oh.

噢～

Did you want to see more videos?

你想要看更多的影片嗎？

Hold on.

等等。

- This is my first time on a talk show.

這是我第一次上脫口秀。

- What is it, Noah? - My first time on a talk show.

諾亞，你說什麼？我第一次上脫口秀。

- Oh, man. Welcome.

噢，天，歡迎！

[laughter]

(笑)