年輕的德古拉 - BBC系列 - 第1季第8集 "血緣關係" (Young Dracula - BBC Series - Season 1 Ep 8 "Blood Relations")

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[theme music]
-And that, Vladimir, is the story
of the day you were born, 13 years ago to this very day.
[laughs] And there's you riding Zoltan.
Oh, and look.
That's you taking your first bite.
Rah!
[laughs] Oh.
And the rest just Ingrid.
-Do we have to do this every year?
It's embarrassing.
-I know, son.
You forget, I was young once.
-Yeah, 600 years ago.
-So what wild mischief have you got planned for your party
tonight, you little delinquent?
-Balloons, cake, pass the parcel.
-Oh.
Well, you're just a late starter.
[slaps leg]
It'll come with time.
-Not that much time, though, Master Vlad.
Only three more years till you become a proper vampire.
-Yes.
Thank you, Zoltan.
I hadn't forgotten.
-Three short years.
And of course, there'll be no normal parties for you then.
-I'm trying not to think about it.
-No cake, no balloons.
-Shut up.
--[sigh] Just sucking blood and avoiding steaks.
-Put a sock in it.
Yes, three years.
Three whole years to find a way out
of ever becoming a stupid vampire.
Starting today.
-[muffled sounds]
-The sole's worn, the heel's broken,
and they're two sizes too small.
-And where do you think the money's coming from?
These bills don't pay themselves, you know.
Eeh.
-Ugh.
So what?
Am I just supposed to walk around barefoot?
-That's the spirit.
-Dad, I need some cash for party decorations.
COUNT DRACULA: How much?
-5 pounds?
-Take 10
-Thanks, Dad.
-Uh, you just gave Vlad 10 pounds.
-Yes, and when it's your 13th birthday you can have money.
INGRID: Hmph.
But I'm 15.
-Oh.
Bad luck.
-I hope you fry in the sun.
-Glow in the dark plastic fangs and a bottle of fake blood.
Thanks, Robin.
-It's dead cool.
Let me show you.
-Open mine.
I actually put some thought into it.
-You mind reader, I love it.
What is it exactly?
-It's a lamp.
You said you wanted to get rid of that ghostly complexion.
-That's not all you'll get rid of if the count gets
his hands on it.
Oooooaghhh, I'm melting.
I'm melting.
-Good point.
Let's try it out in the crypt.
It'll be safer down there.
-But will we be?
[exaggerated vampire laugh]
-Hmph.
--[inaudible], where do you gooooo?
-Now hold this and point it at anything with fangs.
JONATHAN: Right, left a bit.
A bit more.
Hold it!
I can see someone.
-A vampire feasting on mortal blood?
-Uh, not quite.
It's the butler picking his nose.
-Oh.
Try the next window.
See anything?
-[scream]
-Please keep quiet, Jonathan.
Screaming like a girl is not conducive to vampire slaying.
-[muffled sounds]
-You need to take a leaf out of my book.
I never get scared by anything.
--[cough] [sigh] Thank goodness for that.
[sneeze]
-Nerves of steel.
[crash]
-[growl]
-[screams]
-[sigh]
-You were saying?
-I can think of better places to sunbathe.
-So do I look any different?
-Wow.
Who did them up?
-That's granny and grandpa, mum's parents.
Krone and Atilla Westenra.
We don't talk about them much.
(WHISPERING) They don't like Dad.
-(WHISPERING) Why not?
-Robin, that's none of our business.
Why not?
-Pssh.
Well, they weren't exactly thrilled
about us leaving Transylvania.
-Renfield, pack the hearse.
We're leaving.
-And where do you think you're going?
-Have you seen the angry mob of peasants out there?
I don't think they're here to [inaudible].
-If you run away, you'll bring shame on this family.
COUNT DRACULA: If I stay, my family will be dust.
-In 2,000 years, no vampire has ever
been chased away by breathers.
The Grand High Vampire will be flapping furious!
-Why were your grandparents in such a mood?
-Well, they're majorly strict about vampire tradition.
You've got a wear a cape at all times.
You've got to be asleep by daybreak.
You can't eat normal food.
And you don't mix with breathers.
If they knew what my life was like here--
-They'd kill you.
-Well, no.
They'd send me back to Transylvania,
to a vampire boarding school.
No friends, no family, no daylight ever again.
I'd spend the rest of eternity lurking around in the shadows.
Can you imagine anything worse?
-Wicked.
-Wicked, spiteful, and evil.
Well, at least they're 3,000 miles away.
[doorbell rings]
Is that for me?
[music cue]
Oh no.
-Let that be a lesson to you, son.
Expect the unexpected.
-I was expecting disaster.
-Oh, come on, son.
Show a bit of enthusiasm.
We finally got cast-iron proof.
-Yeah, proof that your plans are rubbish.
-Look at that face, son.
That is the face of evil.
-Whatever it is, I think we should give it back.
Before we get in any more trouble.
-I will, in time.
I have a feeling it might come in useful.
COUNT DRACULA: Quickly, quickly.
Ah, the sun is setting.
They'll be out any second.
-Some birthday this turned out to be.
-Aww, has poor Vlad's party been canceled?
-Go sit on a stake.
-Make sure you get those cobwebs under the chairs
and in all the corners, Renfield.
Right.
Is there anything else?
ROBIN: Nope.
Looks good to me.
No sign of breather life left anywhere.
-Quick!
Hide!
-[sigh of relief]
[music playing]
COUNT DRACULA: Atilla, Krone.
What an unpleasant surprise.
KRONE: You.
You traitor.
You've brought shame on this family.
You're a disgrace to the name "Vampire."
-Oh.
Nice to see you, too.
-Ingrid, my favorite grandchild.
-Oh, new shoes.
Thanks, Granny.
KRONE: Pssh, it's only money.
Vladimir, come here, boy.
Into the shadows so I can see you better.
Too much color in your cheeks.
You should stay inside more.
-Leave him alone.
Vlad's becoming a fine young vampire,
a credit to the family name.
-Ha!
Do you know what they call you now in Transylvania?
-The Prince of Darkness.
-The Draculosers.
-The what?
-You ran away from a couple of breathers with garden rakes.
-It was a mob, and they had flaming torches.
-Whatever makes you feel better.
-But I can think of one thing that
would definitely make me feel better.
-Don't threaten me, Count Draculoser.
COUNT DRACULA: Why?
What are you going to do about it?
-Me?
It's the Grand High Vampire that you should be worried about.
-Grand High Vampire?
-He has heard rumors that you may not
be living a true vampiric life.
-He has?
-I hope for your sake that he's wrong.
-Jonathan, turn that off.
If only there was a way to get inside the castle
without actually doing ourselves.
-I like the second bit.
What?
-Jonathan, I have a plan.
-Oh, great.
I'll alert Casualty.
-You feed regularly on the blood of peasants.
-Every night.
It's just blood, blood, blood.
-And you're feared and hated by all who meet you?
INGRID: Everyone.
-Even the bin man.
-Because if I discover anything suspicious, anything at all,
I shall have to inform the council.
You could be stripped of all your privileges.
Or worse.
[crash]
-[sniffs] I smell a breather.
VLADIMIR: [nervous laughter] Probably just Renfield.
-Granny, have you seen what Dad's done with the gargoyles?
[music cue]
-What is the meaning of this?
-I'm Robin, Vlad's friend.
-And who is this mortal?
-My lunch.
Nearly empty.
You're welcome to the dregs.
-Vlad will have no friends unless I
decide they are suitable.
Sit.
-Screwdriver.
Pliers.
-You will be able to put my car back together, won't you?
-Yes, yes.
Always looking at the little picture.
Can't you see what we're creating?
-A mess.
-Who are your parents?
-Count and Countess Spatula.
KRONE: Count Spatula?
I know no Spatulas.
What part of Transylvania are they from?
-The, uh, the eastern part.
KRONE: Pssh.
That explains it.
What would you do if you were attacked with a stake?
-I wouldn't be.
I'm too clever.
-Clever, eh?
And arrogant, too.
Do you prefer French blood or Italian?
-Tick tock.
Tick tock.
-Ooh, I know, I know!
-Let him answer.
-Neither.
They both taste of garlic.
-Hmm.
I approve.
You could learn a thing or two from this boy, Vlad.
-Swat.
COUNT DRACULA: Well done, boy.
-A breather.
CHLOE: Run for it!
-Stop them!
They're getting away.
Mixing with breathers is an unforgivable crime.
What do you think we should do with them, Atilla?
-[non-english speech]
KRONE: We couldn't do that.
I've just had this cloak dry cleaned.
-Now, listen here, you old bat!
-You wouldn't want the Grand High Vampire
to find out about this, would you?
As for you, Vlad, our only grandson, we expected better.
-I think Vlad's proved he's not a worthy heir.
I think it's only fair that I should take his place.
-Don't be stupid, child.
Girls don't inherit the title.
-Ugh, but Granny!
KRONE: No.
You're a girl, and don't forget it.
Besides, it's about time Vlad started
to take his role more seriously.
Atilla, my bag.
You are the future of the bloodline, Vlad.
We can't allow you to become an embarrassment like your father.
[sniff] It is possible, Draculosers,
under very special circumstances,
for a young vampire to receive his full powers before he
is 16.
For this to happen, he must drink the blood
of a Transylvanian bat on his 13th birthday.
-Vladdy, it's your 13th birthday today here.
-It is?
What an amazing coincidence.
We shall have the ceremony tonight.
INGRID: I don't believe this.
This is so unfair.
-This morning, you woke in a bed, a naive and simple boy.
Tonight, you will lie in a coffin,
an evil and bloodthirsty vampire.
[cackles]
VLADIMIR: I didn't even get to say goodbye to Robin and Chloe.
[sigh] And there's so much I still haven't done.
I've never ridden a bicycle.
I've never played rugby or gone camping.
[sigh] And I'll never even own a mobile phone.
Oh, what hope is there, Zoltan?
[sigh] Zoltan?
[doorbell rings]
Zoltan?
[music cue]
Zoltan.
Zoltan, wake up.
Can you hear me?
-[groaning] Where am I?
-What happened?
--[sigh] I'm afraid my memory seems a little clouded.
Sorry to inconvenience you, Master Vlad.
-Well, you're all right.
That's all that matters.
-So have I missed anything?
The way I see it, Master Vlad, you have three choices.
-Right.
-One, you drink the blood and become a full vampire.
Two, you run away.
-Not appealing.
-Three, actually, I'm still working on three.
-Great.
So that's it then.
-I'm afraid so, young master.
You're doomed.
-Thanks for the help, Zoltan.
-Done for.
-I get the picture.
-Condemned.
Lost.
Ruined.
[muffled sounds]
-Son, it's time.
Unleash the wolf cam.
-[muffled sounds]
-Look, it's working.
It's alive.
[laughs] It's alive.
[laughs]
-All right, calm down.
You're not Frankenstein.
-[muffled screaming]
-Ugh.
Come to measure me for my coffin?
-No, but good thinking.
We can do that later.
-Can't wait.
-Neither can I. This will bring us so much closer.
We can go out flying and hunting and terrorizing
together, father and son.
-No!
I'm not you, Dad.
I never will be.
But you will be a vampire.
There's no escaping that.
-Then at least let me have three more years.
-No.
It's time you grew up and accepted some responsibility.
It won't be as bad as you think.
No, really.
-Ugh.
I'm running away.
At least I'll buy me a couple more years.
-But you'll be able to fly and get your own fangs.
You'll be so cool.
-Ugh, Robin, haven't you been listening?
It's not going to happen.
I'm leaving.
Pssh, unless you've got a better idea.
-How about I pretend to be you, drink the blood,
and become a vampire?
Then everyone's happy.
-Like you did such a good job last time.
Granny nearly turned Chloe's fake bite into a real one.
-It was pretty realistic, though, wasn't it?
-[sigh]
-Shame you can't switch the fake blood with the bat blood.
That'd solve all your problems.
What?
-Dad, about this initiation.
-Oh, Ingrid, I don't have time for arguments.
INGRID: I think it's a brilliant idea.
-Why? INGRID: Vlad's growing up.
He can't stay young forever.
-Exactly.
Now go away.
-I think it's great how you don't
mind robbing him of his childhood.
You're so impressively evil.
-Ha.
Aren't I just?
-But as long as you don't mind breaking your favorite child's
heart, then I guess that's OK.
You don't mind, do you?
-No.
No, of course not.
INGRID: Good.
I'll see you at the ceremony then.
[organ playing]
-And so my precious son, while I know this is a big step for you
and maybe not exactly what you want--
VLADIMIR: Are you kidding?
I can't wait.
Bring it on.
-Really?
Right.
Good.
Well, uh, as I was saying, I just
know you're going to make a great vampire,
even if you're not quite ready yet.
-Ready?
I've been ready for years.
COUNT DRACULA: Have you?
Oh.
Splendid.
KRONE: What an eloquent speech, Count.
I'm glad we're all in agreement at last.
Let's get on with it.
-Vladdy, come to help me light some candles.
Look, son, I know you're just putting on a brave face
because you want to make me proud.
-I am?
-But let's face it, you'd make a hopeless vampire.
Of course, learning from the master,
you should be ready in a year or so,
but until then I've cunningly switched
the vial for a bottle of fake blood.
-You did?
For me?
Wait, you did what?
-I switched the-- (WHISPERING) I switched the blood.
--[sigh] Where did you find the fake blood?
-In that drawer there.
But I thought you'd be pleased.
-I switched them.
I switched them, too.
-Well done, boy.
Crafty and deceitful like your old man.
-You've put the real blood back.
-Ah.
Curses.
-We've not seen anything interesting yet.
Give it.
-No.
This is a highly skilled job that
calls for a steady hand and a quick mind.
-Exactly. Give me the rem--
-Get off.
-Give me--
-Off!
-[groaning] Oof!
[spits] Brrrbbbbt.
-We've been dawdling long enough.
Let's get on with it.
-I'm not ready.
I-- need the loo.
-Atilla, the vial.
-[non-english speech]
[thunderclap]
-Which means?
-Bottoms up.
Now drink.
-Not so fast.
[gasps]
Everybody get back.
-Hey, that's my sun lamp.
Have you been in my room?
-Not now, pussface.
I'm saving your life.
There's no way I'm letting my baby
brother get his powers first.
-She's bluffing.
She wouldn't dare.
-Oh, wouldn't I?
[gasping and groaning]
I'm sick of always coming second.
(MOCKING VOICE) Ingrid, do this.
Ingrid, do that.
Ingrid can't because she's a girl.
Well, guess what?
Ingrid's had enough.
Now give me the blood.
-[laughs] That won't hurt me.
-No.
But this will.
-Ow.
-Nothing can stop me now!
-Give me that.
-[laughs diabolically]
-Help!
Ooh.
-No!
No!
[sobs]
-Give me that back.
-Aargh.
[groaning and gasping]
I was wrong, Dad, there are freaks living in this town.
Us.
[organ playing]
-You should be ashamed of yourselves.
All of you.
When the Grand High Vampire hears about this!
COUNT DRACULA: Oh, enough!
About the Grand High Vampire!
I am sick of hearing about him.
-Really?
Well, perhaps I should tell him that.
-And perhaps I should tell him about your precious daughter
running off with a-- oh, what was it now, Ingrid?
-I think it was a werewolf, wasn't it?
VLADIMIR: A werewolf.
But isn't that forbidden?
-[gasp]
-What would the council say about that?
-Could be very embarrassing.
A respected council member involved in a scandal.
-You wouldn't do a nasty thing like that
to your poor old grandparents, would you?
-Uh, yes, they would.
Because they're Draculas, and we are not afraid of anyone.
Now flap off back to Transylvania, you old bats.
-Don't think you're heard the last from--
-Ah, do you want to go pronto post, or shall I?
[organ playing]
-Sorry.
COUNT DRACULA: Vladimir!
Get down here this instant!
You're in big trouble!
-[sigh]
What now?
-Surprise!
-Is this more what you had in mind?
-This is perfect.
Thanks.
Ugh.
What's in this cake, Renfield?
-Well, there was no sugar.
VLADIMIR: So?
-So I used pepper.
-[sneezes]
[spits]
ROBIN: Happy birthday, Vlad!
CHLOE: Yay!
Whoo!
ROBIN: Way to go, Vlad!
[cheering]
[theme music]