Name: 楊伯文：好交易 (完整演出) | 單口喜劇特輯 (Jimmy O. Yang: Good Deal (Full Show) | Stand-Up Comedy Special)
Uploaded: 2026-01-01T16:17:13.000Z
Duration: 57 min 3 s

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the stage Jimmy.

I gotta say, it's been a couple of good years for us Asians, right?

我必須說，對我們亞洲人來說，這幾年真的不錯，對吧？

我們去年有《Crazy Rich Asians》。

那對我們來說是個重要的時刻。

Jeremy Lin won a championship for doing nothing.

Jeremy Lin 贏了一個總冠軍，什麼都沒做。

He's the first Asian kid to receive a participation trophy.

他是第一個拿到參與獎盃的亞洲小孩。

我們終於可以為他感到驕傲了。

真是幾年來很棒的時光，老兄。

我不知道你們還記不記得這件事。

Just three years ago, there was a movie called the Great Wall starring Matt Damon.

大約三年前，有部電影叫做《長城》，由麥特戴蒙主演。

It was Matt Damon in ancient China fighting dragons and shit.

麥特戴蒙在古代中國打龍之類的。

But you got to understand, I'm not mad at Matt Damon, okay?

但你們要明白，我不是在生麥特戴蒙的氣，好嗎？

If somebody were to offer me a lead role in a movie called Mount Rushmore, I'll play the shit out of George Washington.

如果有人要找我演一部叫 Mount Rushmore 的電影主角，我一定把 George Washington 演到爆。

我光明正大，沒什麼好丟臉的。

I'll play George Washington Carver if they let me.

他們讓我的話，我就演 George Washington Carver。

I see a lot of people out here in the streets.

They want to come up to me, but they're not really sure.

他們想來找我，但又不太確定。

There's a lot of debate amongst their friends.

They're like, hey, man, are you sure that's him?

他們會說，嘿，老兄，你確定是他嗎？

如果我們要過去，一定要確定。

Because if we go up there and it's not him, we're gonna look super racing.

因為如果我們過去，結果不是他，我們看起來會超糗的。

And it come up to me as always, like, the first thing they say, like, hey, hey, man, aren't you that dude Jing Yang from that show Silicon Valley?

然後他們一如往常地走過來，就像，他們說的第一句話是，嘿，嘿，老兄，你不是那個節目 Silicon Valley 的 Jing Yang 嗎？

然後我就說，啊，謝謝，謝謝。

And then they're like, oh, shit, I didn't even know you speak English in real life.

然後他們就說，喔，靠，我沒想到你現實生活中也會說英文。

Like, did you really think Matt Damon was Chinese?

就像，你真的以為 Matt Damon 是中國人嗎？

Like, if a white actor does a British accent, he's a thespian, he wins an Oscar.

就像，如果一個白人演員講英國腔，他就是個戲精，他會得奧斯卡。

If I do a Chinese accent, I'm automatically from the old country.

如果我講中文腔，我就自動被認為是從老家來的。

A lot of Asian people coming up to me, very proud, very nice.

很多亞洲人來找我，很驕傲，很親切。

They're like, jimmy, thank you for representing the Asians, man.

他們說，Jimmy，謝謝你代表亞洲人，兄弟。

But you do understand it's not really a choice, right?

但你懂，這不是真的有選擇，對吧？

Like, when you wake up Asian, you can only represent Asians.

就像，你醒來是亞洲人，你只能代表亞洲人。

I couldn't just wake up one day like, fuck it, I'm representing Nigerians today.

我不可能某天醒來就說，幹，今天我要代表奈及利亞人。

I'm very proud to represent Asians, but at the same time, there's so much pressure.

我很驕傲能代表亞洲人，但同時，壓力也很大。

Like, nobody ever went up to Matt Damon, be like, hey, Matt, thanks for representing the whites.

就像，沒有人會跑去跟 Matt Damon 說，嘿，Matt，謝謝你代表白人。

That's like a different conversation for some reason.

這感覺是另一種對話，不知道為什麼。

You know, if somebody came up to me and be like, hey, Jimmy, I'm representing for the whites, I would leave that town immediately and they'll come back.

你知道，如果有人跑來跟我說，嘿，Jimmy，我代表白人，我會立刻離開那個鎮，他們也會回來。

我現在去哪裡都得當個好亞洲人。

That was one of the major advantages of being Asian, is I can just pretend I don't know how to tip.

身為亞洲人的一大優勢就是，我可以假裝我不知道怎麼給小費。

It doesn't matter how big your bill is, you tip $2, that's a Chinese.

不管你的帳單多大，你都只給兩塊錢，這就是中國式。

現在我到哪裡都得給 20% 的小費。

I gotta give every Uber driver a five star rating just so I can be a good representative.

我得給每個 Uber 司機五星好評，這樣我才能當個好代表。

Even day to day shit, even the bedroom, I gotta represent.

就算是日常小事，甚至是臥室裡，我都得代表。

After I hooked up with this one girl, this is what she said to me.

有一次我跟一個女生發生關係後，她對我說了這些。

She was like, jimmy, I don't know how to tell you this, but

她說，Jimmy，我不知道該怎麼跟你說，但是

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楊伯文：好交易 (完整演出) | 單口喜劇特輯 (Jimmy O. Yang: Good Deal (Full Show) | Stand-Up Comedy Special)

apparently

pretend

basically

represent