[laughing creepily]

[humming]

-Dental floss, Master.

-Renfield, ugh.

Go to your hole!

-Thank you, Master.

An early night.

-Is that a toffee in your mouth?

-It's, it's a very, very chewy cockroach.

-How dare you bring confectionery into this house?

What if my precious son Vlad should find them?

-It was your precious son who I stole

them from in the first place.

He's got a, he's got a whole stash in his bedroom.

-Oh he has, has he?

All right.

-Robin and I are going to have so much fun.

-The point I was trying to make is that a sleepover isn't

the most sensible idea you've ever had, Vlad.

What about your father?

-Look, I know Dad may be an evil, bloodsucking vampire,

but he's actually pretty chilled out these days.

COUNT DRACULA: Vladimir!

All right, hand over the sugar.

-Sugar?

What sugar?

-Vladimir.

-Come on, a few sweets won't hurt.

-Won't hurt?

You're a vampire.

How do you expect to bite people if you

don't have strong and healthy teeth?

-Dad, I don't want to bite people.

-Well, you will one day.

Now hand over the sweets, or I'll

book you in for a checkup with Renfield.

-Renfield?

Sorry, dad.

What was I thinking?

I'll never eat sweets again.

I promise.

Phew.

That was a narrow escape.

-Why are you smiling?

You've lost all your sweets.

-You don't grow up living with the Prince of Darkness

without picking up the old trick or two.

He set fire to my pajamas.

-I'm not sure it's wise to eat quite

so many sweets, Master Vlad.

-Not you as well, Zoltan.

My teeth are fine.

[cracking sound]

-Ow.

-Oh, Master Vlad.

A little toothache, eh?

We'll soon have that sorted.

Open wide.

[screams]

-It's all right.

You were having a nightmare.

-Morning!

-What do you want?

-Your father told me to fix the door.

But I could fix you as well, if you'd like.

[zoltan growls]

-Get on, up you go.

You'll be late.

Oh!

-Morning.

-Oh!

-Graham, what's happened?

-Dad, you're so gullible.

It's just my new home makeup kit.

-Robin, I thought there had been a murder or something.

-Oh, don't worry.

That could still be arranged.

-Is everything all right, Vlad?

-Mmhmm.

Absolutely.

Morning, Ingrid.

Happy birthday.

-I'm a Dracula.

I'm far too evil for birthdays.

-So you might want this card from your mother, then.

-Dad!

You garlic muncher.

-Language, Ingrid.

-That was cruel, even for you.

-Oh yes, I've still got it.

[cackles]

-Ruler.

Pencil.

-Pencil.

-Scalpel.

-Scalpel?

-Joke.

-It's not funny.

I need to find out what's wrong with my teeth,

preferably before our sleepover.

-Well, this book of yours isn't helping.

That is, it wouldn't be anything to do with the change,

would it?

-The change happens at the age of 16.

I've got three whole years until I start growing fangs.

-Growing fangs?

Wicked.

What does it say?

-Nothing important.

-When a young vampire complains of dental discomfort,

he may be about to embark on the change.

-Robin, this occurs at the age of 16.

-But can happen several years earlier.

-Do you know what this means?

I'm turning into a vampire.

[music playing]

-Gotcha, you Transylvanian vermin!

-Congratulations, Jon-o.

You're now a grade one vampire slayer.

-Yeah, yeah.

Whatever, Dad.

So when are we going camping?

-Camping?

-Yes.

You promised to take me once I got my grade one.

-Did I?

-Yes.

-All right.

Well, this weekend, I suppose.

-Wicked.

[bell rings]

-Come on, let's get this all cleared away.

-For the last time, I am not a dork or an orc or a wok.

-Ah!

-Chill out, it's just makeup.

-Yeah, I knew that.

Just humoring you.

Ah!

-Jon-o.

Quieten down!

Before there's a class detention.

And Branagh, wash that muck off your face.

-I can't believe you did that.

-Come on, it was funny.

-Stupid as well, with Van Helsing around.

-Look, maybe you should talk to your dad about your teeth.

-And tell him I'm going through the change?

Are you crazy?

-Won't he be pleased?

-Pleased?

He'll throw a party.

-Wicked.

Can I come?

-No. There's not going to be a party.

-Surprise!

Oh.

-How did you know?

-Where's Ingrid?

-Oh, you're having a birthday party for Ingrid.

-Well, I know she's only a pointless female, but-- oh

Ingrid, darling, happy birthday!

-Wow.

Really, this is all for me?

-And you thought we'd forgotten.

-Renfield's been out shopping all week.

-Oh, Dad.

It's perfect.

This is the best birthday ever.

I can't believe it.

All right, what's going on?

-Nothing's going on, my precious.

We just want you to look your best for your husband.

-I don't have a husband.

-You do now.

Renfield, introduce Adrianus.

-Unfortunately, Adrianus could not be with us today.

So he recorded this special message.

-Hello, Ingrid.

Let me introduce you to my goats.

-We're not going.

-What do you mean, we're not going?

I passed my grade one Vampire Slayer exam.

-Yeah, and then you failed it when

you made a big ninny of yourself in class.

-Well, all right.

I'll do the test again.

I mean, it wasn't exactly hard, was it?

-Oh, I see.

So grade one is too easy.

Well, let's see how you cope with grade three.

-Ooh, grade three.

-Yeah, that's right, Jon-o.

In at the deep end.

Let's see if you've got what it takes to be a real slayer.

-Sir Voz, Fluffy, and Iris, our goats.

And this is the coffin we will one day share, along

with the rest of my family, of course.

Yes, life is hard here in Transsiberia

But we know good fortune has finally come our way now

that the beautiful daughter of Count Dracula

has agreed to be my wife.

-This had better be a joke.

-I knew you'd be pleased.

-I'll pack your bags.

-This is all your fault!

-What did I do?

-You wore born.

-Look, you're not the only one with the problems.

-Ready, Jon-o?

Your first challenge.

Come on, Jon-o.

-I'm not eating worms.

-Don't be such a big girl's blouse.

Mmm.

Mmm.

-That-- this is spaghetti.

-Got you.

But you passed, well done, son.

-Does that mean we get to go camping now?

-Don't be ridiculous.

They don't give a grade three away just like that.

One challenge gone, two more to go.

-So you'll fly over tomorrow to collect her?

Splendid, splendid.

[boom]

INGRID: Open up, or I'll put garlic in your slippers.

-Ingrid-- oh yes, she's very excited.

Hello?

Hello?

Ingrid, I'm try to talk to your husband.

-He's not my husband.

-No, but he will be.

-You just want to get rid of me!

-Of course I do.

Then it will just be me and Vladdie, forever.

-Well, I don't need Adrianus.

I've already got a boyfriend.

-Well, why the flaming torches didn't you tell me, silly girl?

I must meet him immediately.

Tonight.

-Well, there's always been a bit of chemistry.

But it's official-- I'm Ingrid's boyfriend.

-Pretend boyfriend, Robin, and for one night only.

-Aren't you forgetting something, Robin?

Our sleepover?

-Well, the thing is-- Ingrid is very pretty.

-But you're supposed to be my friend.

-Vlad, don't be so selfish.

If I can't prove I've got a boyfriend,

Dad's going to send me off to Transsiberia.

-Oh dear.

Send us a postcard when you get there.

-Do what you have to, Robin.

I've got plenty of other friends.

Chloe, do you want to come to my sleepover?

-Yeah, I'd love to.

-You're aware of Vlad's little fang issues, are you?

-I'm sure it's just a bit of toothache, that's all.

-Since when were vampires your specialist subject?

Still, if you know you're doing--

-Ignore her, Vlad.

You're not going to bite me.

-Hope not.

I wouldn't want to miss that.

What?

-Challenge two, the test of nerve and bravery.

Can you retrieve all three bulbs of garlic

without being bitten by this six-foot python?

-Oh, I'm so scared.

-Well, you should be.

-Yeah, right.

What have you got in there?

A big bit of rope?

-Jon-o, steady.

You'll aggravate Monty.

-One bulb.

Two bulbs.

Three bulbs.

Easy.

-That's a load, Jon-o.

That was-- wow, well done.

-Yeah, that is really a snake in that box.

Ah!

Dad, I could have been dead.