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  • Anyone in the room thought about sex today?

    在座各位今天 有想色色的事嗎?

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • Yeah, you did.

    一定有吧!

  • Thank you for putting your hand up over there.

    謝謝你們如此誠實

  • Well, I'm here to provide you with

    讓我為你們這些猥褻的白日夢

  • some biological validation

    提供一些

  • for your sordid daydreams.

    生物學上的證據

  • I'm here to tell you a few things

    讓我告訴你們一些

  • that you might not have known about wild sex.

    你們可能不知道的野生動物性事

  • Now, when humans think about sex,

    當人類想到性

  • male and female forms

    我們很自然想到

  • are generally what come to mind,

    男女身體特徵

  • but for many millions of years,

    但是數百萬年來

  • such specific categories didn't even exist.

    這麼明顯的區別並不存在

  • Sex was a mere fusion of bodies

    性就是身體融合

  • or a trickle of DNA

    或是兩個、兩個以上的

  • shared between two or more beings.

    遺傳物質交換

  • It wasn't until about 500 million years ago

    直到 5 億年前

  • that we start to see structures akin to a penis

    我們才看到近似陰莖

  • or a thing that gives DNA out,

    或給予遺傳物質器官的出現

  • and a vagina, something that receives it.

    和陰道或其他相似的接收結構

  • Now invariably, you're probably thinking about

    你們難免會想

  • what belongs to our own species,

    我們自己人類的構造

  • these very familiar structures,

    我們看到動物世界中的

  • but the diversity that we see in sexual structures

    生殖器官

  • in the animal kingdom that has evolved

    這些相似但多樣的構造

  • in response to the multitude of factors

    反應了關於生殖繁衍的

  • surrounding reproduction

    諸多因素

  • is pretty mind-blowing.

    實在很令人驚嘆

  • Penile diversity is especially profuse.

    陰莖結構特別多樣

  • So this is a paper nautilus.

    這是一隻船蛸

  • It's a close relative of squid and octopus,

    是烏賊和章魚近親

  • and males have a hectocotylus.

    雄性個體具有交接腕

  • Just what is a hectocotylus?

    什麼是交接腕呢?

  • A detachable, swimming penis.

    是一個可分離 會游泳的陰莖

  • It leaves the [body of the male],

    它可以脫離雄性個體

  • finds the female through pheromonal cues in the water,

    借由水中的費洛蒙找到雌性

  • attaches itself to her body

    再將自己結合上去

  • and deposits the sperm.

    輸送精子

  • For many decades, biologists actually felt

    數十年來 生物學家甚至認為

  • that the hectocotylus was a separate organism altogether.

    交接腕是個獨立的個體

  • Now, the tapir is a mammal from South America.

    貘是以種來自南非的哺乳類

  • And the tapir has a prehensile penis.

    貘俱有有抓握能力的陰莖

  • It actually has a level of dexterity in its penis

    牠陰莖靈巧的程度

  • much akin to what we have with our hands.

    大概和我們的手一般

  • And it uses this dexterity

    而牠用這份靈巧

  • to bypass the vagina altogether

    穿過陰道

  • and deposit sperm directly into the female's uterus,

    將精子直接 送到雌性的子宮

  • not to mention it's a pretty good size.

    更別說牠的尺寸雄偉

  • The biggest penis in the animal kingdom,

    但是動物界中最大的陰莖

  • however, is not that of the tapir.

    並不是貘的

  • The biggest penis-to-body-size ratio

    在動物界中

  • in the animal kingdom actually belongs

    陰莖佔體型比例最大的

  • to the meager beach barnacle,

    是窄灘藤壺

  • and this video is actually showing you

    而這段影片可以告訴你

  • what the human penis would look like

    當人類與藤壺體積相等時

  • if it were the same size as that of a barnacle.

    陰莖的相對大小

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • Mm-hm. (Laughter)

    嗯 (笑聲)

  • So with all of this diversity in structure,

    對於如此多樣的結構

  • one might think, then, that penises

    有人可能認為

  • are fitting neatly into vaginas all over the place

    為了成功繁衍後代

  • for the purposes of successful reproduction.

    陰莖可以完美地 與不同陰道結合

  • Simply insert part A into slot B,

    直接將突出物 A 插入插槽 B

  • and we should all be good to go.

    然後一切就完美了

  • But of course, that doesn't exactly happen,

    但是事實並非如此

  • and that's because we can't just take form into account.

    因為在談論性時

  • We have to think about function as well,

    我們不能只考慮形態

  • and when it comes to sex,

    也必須考慮功能

  • function relates to the contributions made

    功能對配子的投資有關

  • by the gametes, or the sperm and the eggs.

    配子就是精子或卵子

  • And these contributions are far from equal.

    而兩份投資程度極不均等

  • Eggs are very expensive to make,

    製造卵子代價昂貴

  • so it makes sense for females to be very choosy

    所以雌性在選擇對象時

  • about who she shares them with.

    會十分謹慎

  • Sperm, on the other hand, is abundant and cheap,

    另一方面,精子量多且成本低廉

  • so it makes more sense for males

    所以對雄性而言

  • to have a more-sex-is-better strategy

    越頻繁的性交

  • when it comes to siring members

    對傳宗接代

  • of future generations.

    是最好的策略

  • So how do animals cope

    所以動物們如何調和

  • with these very incongruent needs between the sexes?

    不同性別對性交的要求?

  • I mean, if a female doesn't choose a particular male,

    我的意思是, 如果雌性不需要選擇雄性

  • or if she has the ability to store sperm

    或是牠有能力儲存精子

  • and she simply has enough,

    而且也存夠了

  • then it makes more sense for her to spend her time

    對牠而言, 合理的選擇是將時間花在

  • doing other biologically relevant things:

    進行其他生理活動:

  • avoiding predators, taking care of offspring,

    躲避敵害、育幼

  • gathering and ingesting food.

    搜集並消化食物

  • This is, of course, bad news for any male

    當然,這對沒有將 精子存入的雄性而言

  • who has yet to make a deposit in her sperm bank,

    會是一個壞消息

  • and this sets the scene for some pretty drastic strategies

    現在想像一個

  • for successful fertilization.

    為了成功受孕的極端策略

  • This is bedbug sex,

    臭蟲的性交

  • and it's aptly termed traumatic insemination.

    可以恰當地稱為「創傷式受精」

  • Males have a spiked, barbed penis

    雄性有尖銳、帶刺的陰莖

  • that they literally stab into the female,

    可以真正刺進雌性體內

  • and they don't stab it anywhere near her vagina.

    而牠們並不是刺在陰道附近

  • They stab it anywhere in her body,

    而是雌性身體的任一地方

  • and the sperm simply migrates

    而精子則會借由

  • through her hemolymph to her ovaries.

    雌性的血淋巴系統向子宮移動

  • If a female gets too many stab wounds,

    如果雌性受到太多刺傷

  • or if a stab wound happens to become infected,

    或是刺傷造成感染

  • she can actually die from it.

    牠就可能因此死亡

  • Now if you've ever been out for a nice,

    如果你曾經

  • peaceful walk by the lake

    在池邊悠閒地散步

  • and happened to see some ducks having sex,

    並恰巧看到鴨子性交

  • you've undoubtedly been alarmed,

    你一定會十分驚訝

  • because it looks like gang rape.

    因為它看起來就像輪姦一般

  • And quite frankly, that's exactly what it is.

    而事實就是如此

  • A group of males will grab a female,

    一群雄性會抓住一隻雌性

  • hold her down,

    壓制牠

  • and ballistically ejaculate their spiral-shaped penis

    將牠們螺旋形的陰莖

  • into her corkscrew-shaped vagina

    輪流插入

  • over and over and over again.

    雌性螺旋狀的陰道中

  • From flaccid to ejaculation in less than a second.

    從開始到射精不到一秒的時間

  • Now the female actually gets the last laugh, though,

    但是雌性有最後的選擇

  • because she can actually manipulate her posture

    因為雌性可以調整姿勢

  • so as to allow the sperm of certain suitors

    所以中意追求者的精子

  • better access to her ovaries.

    有更好的機會靠近子宮

  • Now, I like to share stories like this with my audiences

    我希望跟你們 分享這些故事的原因

  • because, yeah, we humans,

    是因為我們人類

  • we tend to think sex, sex is fun, sex is good,

    傾向將性交 聯想成好玩、有趣

  • there's romance, and there's orgasm.

    有浪漫與有高潮

  • But orgasm didn't actually evolve

    但是高潮是在

  • until about 65 million years ago

    在 6 千 5 百萬年前

  • with the advent of mammals.

    隨著哺乳動物演化後才出現的

  • But some animals had it going on quite a bit before that.

    但是有些生物開始得更早

  • There are some more primitive ways

    利用原始的方式

  • of pleasing one's partner.

    取悅伴侶

  • Earwig males have either

    地蜈蚣有兩種形態

  • really large penile appendages

    一種有較大的陰莖狀組織

  • or really small ones.

    一種則是縮小版

  • It's a very simple genetically inherited trait

    縮小版是簡單的 遺傳物質傳送通道

  • and the males are not otherwise any different.

    雄性間其他方面沒有不同

  • Those that have long penile appendages

    那些俱有較大陰莖狀組織的

  • are not bigger or stronger

    並非更強壯

  • or otherwise any different at all.

    和其它個體沒有差別

  • So going back to our biological minds, then,

    所以回到我們生物學的思維

  • we might think that females should choose

    我們可能會認為

  • to have sex with the guys that have the shorter appendages,

    雌性會選擇和 陰莖短小的雄性交配

  • because she can use her time for other things:

    所以雌性能將時間花在:

  • avoiding predators, taking care of young,

    躲避天敵、育幼

  • finding and ingesting food.

    找尋並消化食物上

  • But biologists have repeatedly observed

    但是生物學家重複觀察到

  • that females choose to have sex

    雌性會選擇和

  • with the males that have the long appendages.

    陰莖雄偉的雄性性交

  • Why do they do this?

    為什麼要這樣做呢?

  • Well, according to the biological literature,

    根據生物學文獻

  • "During copulation, the genitalia of certain males

    「在交配時,特定雄性的生殖器

  • may elicit more favorable female responses

    可藉由更好的 生理構造或刺激形式

  • through superior mechanical or stimulatory interaction

    帶給雌性生殖道

  • with the female reproductive tract."

    更愉悅的感受」

  • Mm-hm.

  • These are Mexican guppies,

    這些是墨西哥大肚魚

  • and what you see on their upper maxilla

    而你們看到牠們上頜骨

  • is an outgrowth of epidermal filaments,

    有上外生長的表皮纖維

  • and these filaments basically form

    這些纖維基本上就是

  • a fish mustache, if you will.

    魚的鬍子

  • Now males have been observed to prod

    我們觀察到

  • the female's genital opening

    雄魚會在交配前

  • prior to copulating with her,

    會刺激雌魚生殖道口

  • and in what I have lovingly termed the Magnum, P.I. hypothesis,

    這被我稱作「神探猛龍假說」 (註:神探猛龍主角以鬍子、風流著稱)

  • females are overwhelmingly more likely to be found

    雌魚顯然會偏好

  • with males that have these fish mustaches.

    有鬍子的雄魚

  • A little guppy porn for you right there.

    真是隻好色的小魚

  • So we've seen very different strategies

    我們看到了不同

  • that males are using when it comes to

    雄性贏得

  • winning a female partner.

    雌性伴侶的策略

  • We've seen a coercion strategy in which sexual structures are used in a forceful way

    我們看到以強制的手段