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VLADIMIR: All my life I've wanted
to fit in, to be ordinary.
So I thought moving to a new town
would be my chance, my chance to be normal.
But I was forgetting one little thing.
I'm a vampire.
-I'm we should have taken a left back there.
-Can you stop breathing in my face?
You can't have brushed your teeth for weeks.
Am I the only one gagging here?
I can't believe we have to speak this stupid language.
-We've got to keep a low profile.
-And why did we have to move anyway?
-Please be quiet, Mistress Ingrid.
I'm trying to read the map.
-Don't tell me to be quiet, insect biter.
-All right.
That is it.
-Don't you touch me, you fungus.
INGRID: Pus face.
VLAD: Turn right.
RENFIELD: Can't do it.
Crescent freak.
Fart breath.
INGRID: Spider licker.
-Scab picker.
-Snot eater.
What exactly is going on?
-Sorry for disturbing you, Master.
-Ingrid wants Renfield to turn the hearse
around and go back to Transylvania.
-Oh, you do, do we now?
And what about the angry torch-wielding
Tryansylvanian peasant mob, hm?
Would you like to go back to them, too?
[angry yelling]
-Yeah, well, better going back to face
them than living in this dump.
I mean, look at it.
It's so normal.
That's just what I was thinking.
-Face it, mum.
You did a good job with me and Paul.
-And me.
-Three out of four ain't bad.
-It's just unfortunate you also had a weirdo goth child.
-Ian, this isn't funny.
He hasn't come out of his room all morning.
-PAUL: And that's a bad thing?
-If he doesn't come out, no one's going camping.
-Hey, nut job!
Open up!
RENFIELD: Can I proceed now, Master?
-Yes, yes.
It smells like a zombie's armpit in here.
I thought so.
It's Vlad's stupid stuffed dog.
-Hey, he's not a dog.
He's a wolf.
And he doesn't smell.
-Well, actually, Master Vlad, I do smell a bit.
My sawdust seems to have got a little damp in transit.
COUNT DRACULA: Renfield, drive.
What is that?
-Home sweet home.
Maybe Dad should go on a diet.
COUNT DRACULA: I heard that.
Well, here we are at last.
It's not exactly what I was expecting.
I mean, where are the cobwebs?
The damp?
The rotting corpses?
-Look, Dad, you just said find a castle.
It was the best I could find on the internet at short notice.
COUNT DRACULA: Well, I suppose I might feel
better when I've had someone to eat.
-All right.
I'll get my things.
Bagsie the tower room.
INGRID: Uhh, I don't think so.
I'm the eldest.
I'm having that one.
-But I called it.
VLAD: In the hearse.
Well, I called it before you were born.
So kiss my cape.
COUNT DRACULA: Please, this is very simple.
Vladimir will have the room.
Oh, Ingrid, I do believe you were about to chew on that.
-This is because he's your favorite, isn't it?
-Yes, that's right.
INGRID: I hate you more than garlic.
COUNT DRACULA: She is so much like her mother.
In the attic.
RENFIELD: Yes, Master.
-Behind some boxes.
RENFIELD: Yes, Master.
COUNT DRACULA: Under a sheet.
-Thanks, dad.
-Oh, Vladimir.
There's no need to thank me.
You are the son and heir of the Dracula family.
So you're right, you should have the best room.
-Well, actually, I only wanted the tower room
because I thought I might get a TV,
and the reception is better up there.
[low rumbling noise] -Time to meet the neighbors.
-Not juicy enough, go away.
-A TV?
If you want to see moving pictures,
Vladimir, run around the portrait gallery.
Does he think he's living in the 19th century?
ZOLTAN: Of course not, Master Vladimir,
the Count thinks he's living in the 17th century.
He's a few hundred years behind everyone else.
-I hate being a vampire.
It really sucks.
-Hmm, isn't that rather the point?
-I just hoped this move will be a new start for us,
you know, a chance to be a bit less--
Come on.
Take a look at this.
Semi-detached houses, streetlights, a newsagent,
a golf course, it's all so normal.
New life, new neighborhood.
Time to check 'em both out.
ZOLTAN: But Vladimir, your father
has forbidden us from leaving the castle.
We need to keep a low profile.
-Zoltan, I'm a preteen vampire.
That means I've got the reflexes of a night hunter combined
with the incredible ability to sneak
up behind my parents' back.
How's the grand sulk going?
-I've decided I'm going to go live with mum.
Your mother's dead.
-You're dead.
We're all dead.
-Still can't go and live with her.
-You're just mad because she left you for a werewolf.
-She did not leave me for a werewolf.
We mutually agreed to separate.
-After she met a werewolf.
-Vladimir keeps the room.
It's his birthright.
-And what's my birthright?
-I don't know.
Cleaning my capes?
Something like that.
I haven't really given it much thought.
-I hope you get some really painful
splinters from your coffin.
My stomach tells me it's lunch time.
Time to sample a local peasant.
-Now, Master, promise you won't be angry.
-No, I like being angry.
-Promise you won't hurt me.
-Again, not a commitment I feel I can make.
-We, um, we may have a food problem.
-What sort of problem?
RENFIELD: Sort of, we don't have any problem.
-(ANGRILY) What do you mean?
-I thought you wanted to keep a low profile
so I turned a peasant away.
RENFIELD: And what with the driving and map reading
and the cobweb hanging, I didn't have time
to stock up with any fresh blood.
-Two weeks from Transylvania and all I've had to eat
is some black pudding in a motorway services.
It's not good enough.
I need a juicy peasant or at least a steak!
Extremely rare.
RENFIELD: Don't worry, Master.
I'll think of something.
-Going somewhere?
-Yeah, just popping out.
COUNT DRACULA: Ow, ow ow, ow!
You're not going anywhere, young vampire.
Go to your room.
-But Dad.
-You know which room is yours, don't you?
It's the one that should be mine.
RENFIELD: I'm coming, Master!
-I hate sunlight.
-(SINGING) We're all going on a camping holiday.
Just some tent pegs and a rope or two.
-Dad, you're making strange noises again.
-It's called singing, Robin, people
do it when they're in a good mood.
Oh, sorry, good mood, I hope I'm not confusing you
with my complicated technical jargon.
Small drama inside, we're out of Kendal mint cake.
We can't have a Branagh family camping
expedition without Kendal mint cake.
This is a disaster.
-I wish they'd do
-I'm disappointed in you, son.
I mean, where's this bad attitude coming from?
The cheeriness, the- the optimism.
Ugh, love of the outdoors.
COUNT DRACULA: And the clothes you wear-- why?
Why the bright colors?
Make my eyes hurt.
-It's what kids wear.
-Well, not my kids.
Vladi, come stand here.
This is what we are, son, we're vampires.
What are we?
-There's no escaping that.
You know, in a few years you'll come into your full powers
and your reflection, like mine, will disappear.
Now, I am going to sort out the food situation.
-Can't we have something normal, like a hamburger?
A person from Hamburg.
You can't escape it.
It's your destiny.
[door closing]
-Oh, great.
No cape.
This is serious.
If I wasn't already undead I'd be dead.
-Look, Master Vlad.
ELIZABETH: Looks like someone's moved into the castle.
-You'd have to be pretty weird to want to live there.
-Mum, we can't find Robin anywhere.
-Where could the weirdo have got to?
I'll go and get him.
-I got you!
-Who are you?
-What a good time to have a discussion.
-You rang?
-Sorry to bother you.
RENFIELD: Have you come to donate blood?
-GRAHAM: What?
RENFIELD: The sign.
You going to donate blood?
RENFIELD: It's for a good cause.
GRAHAM: What cause?
I'm here because-- did you just say lunch?
-Uhh, no, got a cough.
-Some local peasant, Master.
-I beg your pardon?
-Oh, well done Renfield.
So nice to see you, peasant.
Do come in.
But first, I'm not a peasant.
And can you stop staring at me like that?
-Like what?
-You sure you haven't come to donate blood?
-Oh, just flirting with us, were you?
Well, sling your hook.
-Sling your hook?
That was a 10 pint delivery.
-He said he didn't want to give blood.
-They never want to give blood.
That's why I've got these.
-This is like a horror film.
You know, one by one up to the castle never to return?
-Though he is going to return, isn't he?
-He's probably talking to them about the plumbing,
you know what he's like.
Maybe someone should go up and get him.
She can't go by herself.
Oh, you mean us.
Come on, Paul.
-Shall I bite him, Master?
-Not yet.
INGRID: Right, Vlad, you rancid little worm.
Hide, hide!
Here you are in my room.
-It's not your room.
-What's that smell?
VLAD: Smell?
What smell?
Can you smell a smell, Zoltan?
-No, Master Vlad.
Only your sister's cheap perfume.
-Shut it, four wheels.
I can smell something different, something rather, uhh, aha!
-I can't wait to tell Dad about this.
-I can explain.
INGRID: Oh yeah.
-Climbed in through the window, nothing to do with me.
-A massive pile of dirty laundry climbed in through the window.
-Where'd he go?
The dirty sock fairy?
-Uhh, yeah.
INGRID: You're such a loser.
VLAD: Zoltan, did you see where that boy went?
ZOLTAN: Unfortunately, I was distracted
by the sawdust running down my left side.
-We better find him before Dad does.
-Please, Master, take it out.
No, Renfield.
COUNT DRACULA: It's important that you
know why you are being punished.
RENFIELD: Is it because I smell?
Well you do, but no, that's not the reason.
-Is it because I picked m nose and ate it?
RENFIELD: After going to the loo without washing my hands?
But no.
The reason you're being punished is because I'm hungry!
In fact I'm starving and when I'm starving I get nasty.
-And that's what you put a tarantula down my shirt?
And also because I like watching you squirm.
Ahh, I think she's just gone down my trousers.
I sense an intruder.
There is a human in the castle.
-A human, Master?
Well a human who doesn't smell of mouse droppings.
I smell young blood.
Where are you?
So close.
So very close.
Heh heh.
Come to Daddy.
VLAD: Daddy?
Can I have a word?
I'm trying to find dinner!
VLAD: Well, it's just I think I've got my first fang.
-A fang?
Oh my boy!
Let me have a look.
I can't see anything.
Never mind, my favorite child.
INGRID: Nurture him why don't you?
You just hate me because I'm a girl.
I hate you because you're really annoying.
INGRID: Right.
-Oh, Master.
I've sat on your tarantula.
-(WHISPERING) Come on.
-If it's any consolation, Master,
she wouldn't have felt a thing.
-Except your huge bottom squishing her.
-(SARCASTICALLY) Hello, we haven't been
properly introduced.
My name's Vlad.
And, oh, you must be the kid who just climbed in
through my window and started wandering around.
I brought your cloak back.
-Oh, thanks.
What are you doing?
-Aren't you going to bite me?
-Bite you?
Why would I want to bite you?
-You can if you want.
-Oh, OK.
-You're lucky my dad didn't find you.
You've got no idea what he's capable of.
ROBIN: I know exactly what he's capable of.
You're vampires, aren't you?
Don't be ridiculous.
What a silly idea.
-Talking wolf?
Blood thirsty dad?
First fang?
-Oh bats, I knew this would happen.
Please don't get an angry mob and drive us out of town.
-I think you're underestimating suburban apathy.
Anyway, vampires are awesome.
VLAD: Awesome?
-I know everything there is to know about them.
Or at least I thought I did.
How come you got a reflection?
-Well, we don't come into our full powers
until our sixteenth birthday.
So I've got a reflection.
I can't turn into a bat and I don't bite people.
-I don't get burnt by sunlight and I
have no adversary reaction to garlic either.
-You know, for my first vampire, you're not
coming across as very--
Can I say for my first normal kid
you're not coming across very--
INGRID: First fang?
You scrawny little scab.
Talking to yourself, you little freak?
-My darling sister, how nice of you
to rudely walk in without knocking.
-Stick a stake in it.
-Ahh, yes, my socks.
How did that get there?
-What are you playing at?
You know we're not supposed to mix with breathers.
What if he found out that we're--
Hang on, he knows.
-Yes, and it's fine.
He's promised not to tell.
He's promised.
Oh, that's fine then.
Listen to me, meat face, swear by all that is morbidly evil
not to tell anyone about us on pain
of a long and gruesome death.
-You're very pretty.
-Yes, I am.
Now swear.
-I swear.
Now let's get you out of here before my father decides
to have you for dinner and us for dessert.
VLAD: Thanks, Ingrid.
--[scoffs] Oh, you don't think I'm saving this stinking
blood bag just be nice do you?
Oh no.
You and I are going to have a little conversation
about room allocation.
Give us our dad and brother back.
Nah, too confrontational.
Have you seen a man in sensible waterproof clothing
and a weird-looking goth child?
-Look, are you going to knock or not?
-Yeah, you know, I'm just getting ready to knock.
CHLOE: Uggh. PAUL: You do the talking.
IAN: No you.
-Have you seen anyone wandering around here with a cloak?
-Yeah, loads.
But I presume you want this one.
Now get lost.
-You're quite rude, aren't you?
-It's my thing, deal with it.
-See you then, Robin.
Come to mine if you fancy it any time.
Number 22 down the hill.
VLAD: Oh, thanks.
Oh, hey.
Maybe you can do me a favor.
Get these things for me?
-So will we be seeing you again?
IAN: Catch you later.
-I can't believe you were so dumb.
Do you have any idea what Dad would have done
if he caught us talking to those breathers?
-Cut our allowance?
-And our throats.
-Oh, I think you underestimate me, my darling children.
-Split up, then perhaps one of us will live.
-Come on.
Let's find dad.
COUNT DRACULA: Mixing with zombies
I could forgive, understand even, but breathers!
Socializing with possible dinner ingredients.
-Dad, we don't want to be driven out again.
Perhaps we should be blending in more.
More blending, less biting.
Then maybe we won't have angry mobs storming the castle.
COUNT DRACULA: Ah, now that, that
was the result of a small misunderstanding
between me and the village elders.
-You drained their blood.
-Well, right.
A big misunderstanding.
-Here's a radical idea, how about
actually being friends with our neighbors?
With our neighbors?
Right, that's it.
Definitely no contact.
Just go to your rooms!
-Talking of rooms, we're swapping.
COUNT DRACULA: Nobody is swapping
rooms without my permission.
In fact, from now on nobody does anything without my permission.
Now get out of my sight!
You're a disgrace.
I think sometimes the boy hates me.
-You could always kill him.
-Not helpful, Renfield.
-OK, Master.
-No one there, but I found this on the doorstep.
It's for Master Vlad.
-Well, open it.
Something called a Juice-A-Tron 3000.
And some steaks.
-Oh, Vladimir.
Vladimir, I-- I wanted to say thank you for the meat.
If I had a working heart it would have been touched.
-(TELEVISION) But these bats that live in the wild here,
we'll see them hiding in--
VLAD: Hey, Robin.
You flew up to my window.
-Um, no.
I climbed up.
Are you sure you're a vampire and not a burglar?
-Yes, Robin.
-So what happened to the camping trip?
My dad keeps falling asleep for some reason.
-It will wear off.
ROBIN: Oh, great.
Well, I'll go get some drinks.
-A cup of blood, a little bit of milk.
So this is what my room should look like.
COUNT DRACULA: You're lucky I don't drop you.
-D- Dad!
-My neighbor's a vampire.


Young Dracula - BBC Series - Season 1 Ep 1 "When You're A Stranger"

8612 分類 收藏
Jeng-Lan Lee 發佈於 2014 年 12 月 22 日
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