How many of you have started your shopping?

你們有幾個人已經開始採買了？

Anybody? Yeah?

有嗎？有人嗎？

It's stressful, isn't it?

採買是壓力不小的事，對吧？

It's very stressful.

這是一件非常有壓力的事

I thought of a brilliant way to get my shopping done.

我想到一個可以完成採買的聰明方法

I went to Target

我去了 Target (美國大型連鎖超市)

because they have everything that I needed, and...

因為他們有賣所有我所需要的東西，

here's how I'm doing my shopping from now on.

而我從現在起都會用這種方式來購物

[singing] She came to give it to you

(歌曲) 她來到你身旁

[singing] It ain't what you do

(歌曲) 不是你做了什麼

Attention! Attention!

注意！注意！

Target shoppers, this is talk show host

Target 的客人，我是脫口秀主持人

and all-around entertainer Ellen Degeneres.

也是多才多藝的演藝人員 Ellen Degeneres

I have a few announcements to make,

我有幾件事要宣佈，

so please listen carefully.

請仔細聽好

First, if your license plate is 7LW493,

首先，如果你的車牌號碼是 7LW493，

I have your side mirror.

你的後照鏡被我撞掉了

I am so sorry.

我很抱歉

[laughter] I apologize.

(大笑聲) 我錯了

Also, I need some shopping.

還有就是，我需要買點東西

I don't want to do it myself.

我不想自己去買

Whoever brings me the following items first

任何先把以下的物品拿來給我的人

is gonna get a wonderful prize, all right?

可以獲得一個超棒的獎品，可以嗎？

Go to the toy section and find

請到玩具區找

the giant Elsa "Frozen" my size doll

那個真人比例的艾莎玩偶

[singing] You're here where you should be!

(歌曲) 你早就該來了！

[singing] Snow is falling.

(歌曲) 雪正飄下

Bring me that and you get a prize.

把它拿來給我，你就可以拿獎品

[singing] It just wasn't the same.

(歌曲) 它就是這麼與眾不同

[singing] Alone on Christmas day

(歌曲) 孤單聖誕節

[singing] Let it go.

(歌曲) 放開手

Let it go.

放開手

You got it.

你辦到了

You win.

你贏了

$500. You did it!

五百美元，你辦到了！

-Yes. -Thank you!

-很棒 -謝謝你！

The next thing I need is a Chris March Santa beard.

下一個我需要的東西是聖誕老人的鬍子

The first three people. I need three of them.

前三位拿來的有獎品，我需要三個人

You must be wearing it

你必須要在抵達時

when you arrive.

戴著它

[singing] Alone to celebrate.

(歌曲) 獨自慶祝著

Why does Santa have three gardens, everybody?

各位知道為什麼聖誕老公公有三個庭院？

'Cause he likes to "Hoe, Hoe, Hoe."

因為他喜歡「鋤地、鋤地、鋤地」

This thing on?

開始了嗎？

You have won.

你贏了

Here's what I need now:

我現在需要：

Taylor Swift's fragrance,Taylor by Taylor.

泰勒絲牌的香水，泰勒絲的 Taylor 款香水

It's a gift for my tailor.

這是要買給我裁縫師的禮物

My tailor wants Taylor by Taylor.

我的裁縫師想要泰勒絲的 Taylor 香水

If you have a tailor named Taylor,

如果你的裁縫師叫泰勒，

your tailor would be getting a...

你的裁縫師會得到一個...

Look at you, already with that.

看看你，這麼快就拿來了

- $100 Gift card. - Awesome, thank you.

-一百美元的禮物卡 -太讚了，謝謝你

Thank you so much and take my holiday CD.

非常感謝你，給你一張我的假期 CD

This is the biggest prize yet.

這是到目前為止最大的獎品

It's for $1,000 Target gift card.

那就是一千美元的 Target 禮物卡

Go get a bottle of booze of some kind.

任意拿一瓶酒

Go get a beard. Put the beard on.

找到鬍子並戴上

Go to the home section and get the threshold bar cart

到家庭用品區推推車，

and roll it here.

然後把推車推來這

[singing] Alone on Christmas day

(歌曲) 孤單聖誕節

[singing] Presents, what a beautiful sight

(歌曲) 滿滿的禮物，多美的景象

[singing] Don't mean a thing if you ain't holding me tight.

(歌曲) 如果你沒有緊抱住我，對我來說什麼都不是

Wonderful.

太棒了

Whoo!

呼！

That is $1,000.

這裡是一千美元

Kev, here's the Cuervo you asked for.

凱文，這是你要的 Cuervo (墨西哥金快活龍舌蘭，一個酒的牌子)

- Oh, thanks. - All right.

-喔，謝謝 -好的

Okay, I need someone here at checkout five

我需要有人到五號結帳櫃檯，

because I need to get out of here.

因為我要閃了

And a happy holiday to you all.

祝各位假期愉快

That was fun.

那真是好玩

More of that.

再多玩幾次

More of that. I like it.

再多玩幾次，我很喜歡

All right.

好的

I want to make your shopping easier,

我想要讓你們的採買變得容易些，

so you're all gonna go home with a $150 Target gift card.

所以你們每個人今天都可以帶著一百五十美元的 Target 禮物卡回家

Yay!

耶！