OVER THE YEARS, I'VE SHOWN YOU A LOT OF SCENES

FROM DIFFERENT MOVIES THAT I'VE BEEN CUT OUT OF.

AND...

WHAT HAPPENS IS, I GET CAST AND I SHOW UP,

AND I WORK, YOU KNOW, LIKE A PROFESSIONAL.

I LEARN MY LINES, AND I, YOU KNOW, REALLY PREPARE THE SCENES.

AND FOR SOME STUPID REASON, THE PART GETS CUT.

UNTIL NOW.

SO, THE "50 SHADES OF GREY" MOVIE IS COMING OUT NEXT YEAR.

[audience cheering]

AND I AM SO HAPPY AND PROUD TO SAY,

I GOT THE LEAD ROLE AND I AM DEFINITELY GONNA BE

THE LEAD IN THE MOVIE.

THEY'RE ACTING LIKE IT'S DAKOTA JOHNSON.

IT'S NOT. IT'S ME.

[audience cheering]

BECAUSE NO ONE KNOWS THEIR WAY AROUND A WHIP MORE THAN ME.

THAT'S...

[audience cheering]

SO THEY JUST RELEASED THE TRAILER.

I'M SO PROUD TO SHARE IT.

THIS IS THE FIRST TIME ANYONE'S SEEN IT, AND I'M...

I MEAN, I'M STARRING IN "50 SHADES OF GREY."

I'M SO HAPPY.

SOME OF MY BEST WORK. PLEASE ENJOY.

[dark music]

- MR. GREY WILL SEE YOU NOW.

- I HAVE A NATURAL INSTINCT FOR WHAT MAKES A PERSON TICK.

I'D LIKE TO SEE YOUR FACE.

[audience laughing and cheering]

- I'D LIKE YOU TO SEE MY FACE.

- GIVES ME SOME CLUE WHAT YOU MIGHT BE THINKING.

- WHAT I'M THINKING?

UM... HMM.

WELL, I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW FUN IT IS

TO GET PEARS AROUND CHRISTMAS TIME

AND HOW EACH ONE OF THEM IS INDIVIDUALLY WRAPPED IN FOIL

AND HOW BEAUTIFUL THEY ARE, LIKE LITTLE PRESENTS.

CAN YOU IMAGINE IF ALL FRUIT WAS LIKE THAT?

I MEAN, CHERRIES OR BLUEBERRIES OR RASPBERRIES.

AND EACH ONE OF THEM, YOU'D HAVE TO UNWRAP,

BUT IT WOULD BE A PRESENT.

THAT'S WHAT I WAS THINKING.

- I'M NOT THE MAN FOR YOU.

- OH. OH, YOU'VE HEARD THE RUMORS?

WELL, DON'T BELIEVE EVERYTHING YOU HEAR.

[audience laughing]

[Beyonce singing] - MY HEART IT LULLS

[singing] GHOST IN THE SHEETS

- MA-OOGA!

[audience laughing]

THERE'S SOMETHING ON MY LIP?

I FEEL SOMETHING ON MY LIP.

IS THERE SOMETHING THERE?

UH.

OH.

IT WAS POPCORN.

IT'S OKAY.

[playing piano]

[clears throat]

[singing] OH-OH HERE SHE COMES

[singing] WATCH OUT BOY

[singing] SHE'LL CHEW YOU UP

[singing] OH-OH HERE SHE COMES

[singing] SHE'S A MAN-EATER

RAWR.

[singing] SHE'LL CHEW YOU UP

RAWR.

- MY TASTES ARE VERY SINGULAR.

- THIS IS SO "PRETTY WOMAN."

[intense music]

OH, HELL NO.

[audience laughing and cheering]

I'VE BEEN PROMISED THEY ARE NOT GONNA RECAST.

GO TO ELLENTUBE IF YOU WANT TO SEE

THE OUTTAKES FROM THAT TRAILER.

UH-OH. DID YOU WANT TO SEE MORE VIDEOS?

HOLD ON.

I HAVE TO TELL YOU.

WE'RE NOT GONNA BE DOING CLASSIC JOKE WEDNESDAY.

- OH, I'M...I'M...I'M SO MAD.

- YOU'RE MAD?

HOW MAD ARE YOU?

- I'M THIS MAD.

[audience cheers]