I was, you know, kind of a loner growing up.

I was very awkward.

Called every name in the book.

They’d say fag or...

Nerd, egghead...

You know, dyke this, dyke that...

You know, people walking by and calling me a waste.

Yeah, the mainstream didn’t want us.

And high school’s kinda shitty. I mean, it’s like...

Just there being no allowance for someone to be different.

There were definitely nights, those years, where I would

go to sleep and just be like, I don’t want to deal with this,

I don’t want to wake up in the morning.

I just wanted to curl up in a dark corner somewhere and hope

that it all went away.

I felt tired. Really tired.

When I was around eight, um, I told my pediatrician that, um,

I wanted to be a girl. It made me feel, ah, even more determined

to hide that part of myself away, because the message I was getting

is, you know, that’s disgusting.

You have all these, ah, feelings that you can’t necessarily talk

about with somebody.

You know, and you’re looking for that acceptance, and you don’t

always get it.

As much as my parents loved me, there was always that possibility

that...that the two people that mattered most in my life...wouldn’t

accept me for who I am.

And I had this, this kind of story in my mind that everyone was

going to lash out at me and they were gonna be mad and they were

gonna say, oh, you’re going to hell. And when I thought about that,

I became very depressed, and I had actually contemplated suicide.

Why am I like this? I wish I wasn’t.

I, um, found a bottle of sleeping pills in my parents’ medicine

cabinet and took ‘em. All of ‘em. Just a few moments before I lost

consciousness, I had a fleeting moment where I thought, if it does

get better, and I’m gone, then I’ve really screwed up.

Every day is worth waking up for. You never know what’s gonna happen.

Life changes so much.

When I finally did come out, ah, and start to transition, I realized

I’d been hiding a huge part of myself.

And it just came out. I said, I’m gay!

It feels like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders.

And that was just incredibly liberating.

I’m finally me!

No way would I not want to be who I am, because my uniqueness is my

strength, it’s what differentiates me from other people.

To finally be open and honest with who I am, what I want out of life.

And to my surprise, it was probably one of the best things that I’d ever done.

You feel every sense of freedom and, um, every sense of, this is whatlife is all about.

Summer days at the park where all your friends are there.

Going on a long run when no one else is on the street.

The thrill of discovering what your career is.

Or even just being here to see the sun set, or the sun rise.

I have people I really enjoy talking with, being with, doing stuff.

Enjoying the riches of life. That’s the stuff that people shouldn’t miss out on.

Falling in love, and having a partner of almost 14 years.

We both play the piano, um, he plays the viola.

And someone who every night you wanna say, um, I love you and I hope you’ll sleep well.

That feeling of connecting to someone so deeply.

And sometimes I still shake my head, think I’m, it’s, I’m dreaming. ’Cause it’s,

it got so much better than I ever thought it would be possible.

Just, there’s no way anyone can really, really explain it to you until you really feel it.

But if you’re not around, you won’t.

Don’t try to do everything yourself. Find people who can help you if you can.

As difficult as it might seem, open up with somebody and just tell ’em what you’re feeling.

You have to be open to people who even look like they might be your friend.

They’re friends, you’re not alone! You’re not alone.

The bullies seem like the powerful people and the successful people, and the

secret of the real world is, they’re at the peak of their power at 15 and 16.

And there will come a time when the bullies are not successful and the people

they bullied are. And you just have to outsurvive ’em.

They don’t know you. They don’t know who you are, or what you love, or anything about you.

Know that there’s nothing wrong, and there’s people out there just like you.

Please consider that time, just a little bit of time sometimes, changes a whole outlook.

No matter who you are or where you live or what you have swirling around you,

that space that you’re in, that time is this much in the course of a life.

And as we go through our lives, we’re going to have friends, we’re going to have family,

but they’re not always there. And in that toughest, darkest moment,

if we can rely on ourselves, that’s more than we will ever need to face the world�