So, uh, does it do anything, you know, special?

它有什麼特別的功能嗎？

Why, yes, Ross.

為什麼，是的，羅斯。

Pressing my third nipple opens the delivery entrance to the magical land of Narnia.

按下我的第三個乳頭，就打開了通往納尼亞神奇國度的傳送入口。

You know, in some cultures, having a third nipple is actually a sign of virility.

要知道，在某些文化中，有第三個乳頭其實是陽剛的象徵。

You get the best huts and women dance naked around you.

你會住上最好的小屋，女人會在你身邊跳裸體舞。

Huh.

咦？

Are, uh, any of these cultures perchance in the tri-state area?

三州地區有這些文化嗎？

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

哇，哇，哇

Australopithecus isn't supposed to be in that display.

南猿不應該出現在展覽中。

No.

不

No.

不

No.

不

No.

不

Homo habilis was erect.

智人是直立的。

Australopithecus was never fully erect.

南猿從未完全直立過。

Well, maybe he was nervous.

也許他太緊張了

Shh.

噓

Tell him.

告訴他

Tell him.

告訴他

Just please tell him.

請告訴他

Shut up.

閉嘴

Tell me what?

告訴我什麼？

Look at you.

看看你

You won't even look at him.

你看都不看他一眼

Oh, come on.

得了吧

Tell me.

告訴我

I could use another reason why women won't look at me.

我可以用另一個理由來解釋為什麼女人不願意看我。

All right.

好吧

All right.

好的

All right.

好吧

Last night, I had a dream that, um, you and I were, uh, doing it on this table.

昨晚，我做了個夢，夢見你和我在這張桌子上做。

Wow.

哇

Excellent dream score.

出色的夢想得分。

Why?

為什麼？

No.

不

Why?

為什麼？

Why would you dream that?

你為什麼會做這樣的夢？

More importantly, was I any good?

更重要的是，我到底行不行？

Well, you were pretty damn any good.

好吧，你還真他媽不錯。

Interesting, because in my dreams, I'm surprisingly inadequate.

有趣的是，在我的夢裡，我出乎意料地不稱職。

Well, last night, you seemed to know your way around the table.

昨晚，你似乎對餐桌上的事瞭如指掌。

I love it when we share.

我喜歡我們分享。

You okay there?

你還好嗎？

I can't believe you two had sex in her dream.

真不敢相信你們在她的夢裡做愛了

I'm sorry.

對不起

It was a one-time thing.

這是一次性的。

I was very drunk, and it was someone else's subconscious.

我醉得很厲害，那是別人的潛意識。

Okay.

好的

Sorry to break into this party, but I've got resumes to fax before work tomorrow. Rach.

抱歉打擾你們，但我明天上班前要傳真履歷。 瑞秋

Rach.

瑞琪

We gotta settle.

我們必須解決。

Settle what?

解決什麼？

The Jamestown colony of Virginia.

弗吉尼亞詹姆斯敦殖民地

You see, King George is giving us the land.

你看，喬治王把土地給了我們。

The game, Rachel.

遊戲，瑞秋

The game.

遊戲

You owe us money for the game.

你欠我們比賽的錢

So, basically, you get your ya-yas by taking money from all of your friends.

所以，基本上，你從你所有的朋友那裡拿錢，就能得到你的 "雅"。

Yeah.

是啊

Yes, and I get my ya-yas from Ikea.

是的，我從宜家買的雅雅。

You have to put them together yourself, but they cost a little less.

你必須自己組裝，但成本略低。

I see.

我明白了

How come all I can think about is putting that ice in my mouth and licking you all over?

為什麼我滿腦子想的都是把冰塊放進嘴裡，然後把你舔個遍呢？

Because I went to an all-boys high school, and God is making up for it.

因為我上的是一所男子高中，而上帝正在彌補這一切。

This is my favorite part.

這是我最喜歡的部分。

Yeah, me too.

是啊，我也是。

You know what's sadder than this?

你知道比這更可悲的是什麼嗎？

Bambi.

小鹿斑比

I cried for three days with that movie.

那部電影讓我哭了三天。

No, wait, two.

不，等等，是兩個。

Because on the third day, my mother killed herself, so I was partly crying for that.

因為在第三天，我母親自殺了，所以我哭了。

See, now, that I can see crying over, but Bambi is a cartoon.

你看，現在我都能哭出來了，但《小鹿斑比》是一部卡通片。

You didn't cry when Bambi's mother died?

小鹿斑比的媽媽死的時候你沒哭？

Yes, it was very sad when the guy stopped drawing the deer.

是的，當那個人不再畫鹿的時候，我非常難過。

Hold on.

等一下

There's something different.

有些東西與眾不同。

I went to that tanning place your wife suggested.

我去了你妻子推薦的那家日光浴店。

Was that place The Sun?

那個地方是《太陽報》嗎？

Oh, and it gets worse.

哦，還有更糟糕的。

Oh, my God, you can do a duet with Bambi. You can do a duet of Ebony and Ivory all by yourself.

天啊，你可以和小鹿斑比來一段二重唱 你可以一個人唱《烏木和象牙》的二重唱

Ross didn't get the annulment.

羅斯沒有得到婚姻無效的判決。

We are still married.

我們還是夫妻。

What?

什麼？

Oh, my God.

我的天啊

Ross.

羅斯

Okay, maybe it wasn't my best decision, but I just couldn't face another failed marriage.

好吧，也許這不是我最好的決定，但我無法面對另一段失敗的婚姻。

Okay, let me just jump in and ask, at what point did you think this was a successful marriage?

好吧，讓我插一句，你是在什麼時候認為這是一段成功的婚姻的？

I'm so gonna get back at Ross.

我一定要報復羅斯

Oh, yeah, this will show him.

哦，是的，這會讓他明白的。

Here we go.

開始了

What are you doing?

你在幹什麼？

Oh, you'll see, my friend.

哦，你會明白的，我的朋友。

I'm dead?

我死了嗎？

And so young.

而且如此年輕。

Posting that I died?

發帖說我死了？

That really isn't funny.

這真的不好笑。

Well, how you died was funny.

你的死法很有趣

Oh, please.

哦，拜託

Hit by a blimp?

被飛艇擊中？

It kills over one American's every year.

每年有超過一名美國人死於這種疾病。

I am telling you, years from now, school children will study it as one of the greatest first dates of all time.

我告訴你，多年以後，學生們會把它作為最偉大的第一次約會之一來學習。

It was unbelievable.

真是難以置信。

We could totally be ourselves.

我們完全可以做自己。

We didn't have to play any games.

我們不用玩任何遊戲。

So have you called her yet?

你給她打電話了嗎？

Let her know I like her?

讓她知道我喜歡她？

What are you, insane?

你瘋了嗎？

Oh, guys, that's gross.

哦，夥計們，真噁心。

It's the next day.

現在是第二天。

How needy do I want to seem?

我想讓自己看起來有多需要幫助？

I'm right, right?

我說得對吧？

Oh, yeah, let her dangle.

哦，是的，讓她懸空。

I can't believe my parents are actually pressuring me to find one of you people.

真不敢相信，我爸媽居然逼我找你們這些人中的一個。

God, come on.

天啊，別這樣

Just do it.

照做就是了。

Call her.

給她打電話

Stop being so testosterone-y.

別這麼雄赳赳氣昂昂的。

Which, by the way, is the real San Francisco treat.

順便說一句，這才是真正的舊金山美食。

I got her machine.

我得到了她的機器。

Her answering machine?

她的答錄機？

No.

不

Interestingly enough, her leaf blower picked up.

有趣的是，她的吹葉機也有了起色。

Oh, boy, do I feel bad.

哦，天哪，我感覺糟透了。

Oh, yeah.

哦，是的

Very bad.

非常糟糕。

Chandler, what are you doing?

錢德，你在幹什麼？

Chandler!

錢德勒

Oh, my God!

我的天啊

You're smoking again?

你又抽菸了？

Well, actually, yesterday I was smoking again.

實際上，昨天我又抽菸了。

Today I'm...

今天我...

I'm smoking still.

我還在抽菸。

But why would you start again after chewing all that quitting gum?

但是，你為什麼要在嚼完所有戒菸口香糖之後再開始戒菸呢？

I'm telling you, this is just like my parents' divorce, which is why I'm smoking.

我告訴你，這就像我父母離婚一樣，所以我才抽菸。

That's when I started smoking in the first place.

我就是那時開始吸菸的。

Weren't you nine?

你不是九歲嗎？

Yeah.

是啊

I'm telling you something that, uh, first smoke after nap time.

我告訴你，呃，午睡後的第一支菸。

Oh, that's great.

哦，那太好了。

With my luck, that's gonna be him.

運氣好的話，就是他了。

Him?

他？

Him Ross?

他是羅斯？

Nope.

沒有。

Him, uh, 253.

他，呃，253。

His eyes are on the sparrow.

他的眼睛盯著麻雀。

When my parents got divorced, that's when I started using humor as a defense mechanism.

父母離婚後，我開始用幽默作為一種防禦機制。

Hey, anybody know a good tailor?

嘿，有人認識好裁縫嗎？

You need some clothes altered?

你需要改衣服嗎？

No, no.

不，不

I'm just looking for a man to draw on me with chalk.

我只是想找個男人用粉筆在我身上畫畫。

Why don't you go see Frankie?

你為什麼不去見弗蘭基？

My family's been going to him forever.

我家人一直都找他。

He did my first suit when I was 15.

我 15 歲時，他為我做了第一套西裝。

No, wait. 16.

不，等等16.

No.

不

Excuse me. 15.

借過15.

All right, when was 1990?

好吧，1990 年是什麼時候？

Okay, you have to stop the Q-tip when there's resistance.

好的，當出現阻力時，你必須停止使用 Q 型吸頭。

What are we gonna do?

我們該怎麼辦？

What are we gonna do?

我們該怎麼辦？

Uh, uh, we'll flip for it.

嗯，嗯，我們會翻轉它。

Ducks or clowns?

鴨子還是小丑？

Oh, we're gonna flip for the baby?

哦，我們要為孩子翻跟頭？

You got a better idea?

你有更好的主意嗎？

All right, call it anyway.

好吧，就這麼定了。

Heads.

頭

Heads it is.

人頭

Yes!

是的！

We have to assign heads to something.

我們必須為某些事情指定負責人。

Right.

對

Okay.

好的

Okay, uh...

好吧，呃...

Ducks is heads because ducks have heads.

鴨子是頭，因為鴨子有頭。

What kind of scary-ass clowns came to your birthday?

什麼樣的恐怖小丑來給你過生日？

There she is.

她來了

Some girl ate Monica.

有個女孩吃了莫妮卡

Shut up.

閉嘴

The camera adds 10 pounds.

相機增加了 10 磅。

Uh, so how many cameras are actually on you?

你身上到底有多少攝像頭？

Can you hear anything?

你能聽到什麼嗎？

Oh, yeah.

哦，是的

Somebody just said, can you hear anything?

有人說，你能聽到什麼嗎？

I don't know.

我不知道。

Hey, Joey's ass.

喬伊的屁股

What are you doing?

你在幹什麼？

Remember when they got in that big fight and broke up and we were all stuck in here all night with no food or anything?

還記得他們大吵一架，然後分手，我們整晚被困在這裡，沒有食物或任何東西嗎？

Well, when Ross said Rachel at the wedding, I figured it was gonna happen again.

當羅斯在婚禮上說瑞秋的時候 我就猜到又要發生了

You know?

你知道嗎？

So I hid this in here.

所以我把這個藏在了這裡。

Ooh, candy bars, crossword puzzles?

哦，糖塊、填字遊戲？

Oh, bad lips.

哦，糟糕的嘴脣

Mine. Hey, you don't know how long we're gonna be in here.

我的 你不知道我們要在這裡待多久

We may have to repopulate the Earth.

我們可能必須重新佔領地球。

And condoms are the way to do that.

而安全套就是這樣的方法。

Come on, Chandler.

來吧，錢德

I want this part so much.

我太想要這部分了。

Just one kiss.

就一個吻

I won't tell anyone.

我不會告訴任何人

Joey, no means no.

喬伊，不行就是不行。

Hey.

嘿。

I'm sorry.

對不起

We don't have your sheep.

我們沒有你們的羊

Guys, guess what?

夥計們，你們猜怎麼著？

Guess what?

你猜怎麼著？

Guess what?

你猜怎麼著？

Uh, okay, the fifth dentist caved, and now they're all recommending Trident?

呃，好吧，第五位牙醫讓步了，現在他們都推薦三叉戟了？

Thank you guys for having us over.

謝謝你們邀請我們過來。

Oh, yeah, this is fun couples night.

哦，是的，這是個有趣的情侶之夜。

Yeah, I don't know why we don't hang out with married couples more often.

是啊，我不知道為什麼我們不經常和已婚夫婦出去玩。

Well, because every time we do, you make jokes about swinging and scare them away.

因為每次我們這樣做，你都會拿搖擺開玩笑，把他們嚇跑。

You mean that Portuguese couple?

你是說那對葡萄牙夫婦？

Yeah, like you wouldn't have done it.

是啊，說得好像你不會做似的。

Hey, you guys, I have great news.

嘿，夥計們，我有個好消息。

Ross, we're kind of in the middle of dinner here.

羅斯，我們正在吃飯呢。

Oh, well, uh, I already ate, but sure.

哦，我已經吃過了，不過沒問題。

Guess what happened at work today?

猜猜今天上班發生了什麼？

A dinosaur died a million years ago?

恐龍一百萬年前就死了？

Uh, try 65 million years ago, and then try shh.

呃，試試 6500 萬年前，再試試噓。

So I thought Joey and I would be okay once we hung out, but it's like we don't even know how to be with each other anymore.

我以為喬伊和我在一起就會好起來，但現在我們好像都不知道該怎麼相處了。

I know it's tough now, but things will get better.

我知道現在很艱難，但一切都會好起來的。

How do you know that?

你怎麼知道的？

What if it just gets worse and worse and worse to the point where we can't even be in the same room with each other?

如果情況越來越糟，糟到我們甚至不能共處一室，那該怎麼辦？

I'm not great at the advice.

我不太會提建議。

Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

我能讓你對我的諷刺性評論感興趣嗎？

Some cheese.

一些奶酪

Okay, maybe people give out fake numbers, but they don't give out fake names.

好吧，也許人們會提供假號碼，但他們不會提供假名字。

Oh, yeah?

哦，是嗎？

Hi, Ken Adams.

嗨，肯-亞當斯。

Nice to meet you.

很高興見到你

Regina Phalange.

Regina Phalange.

I just don't get it.

我就是不明白。

We didn't do anything wrong.

我們沒有做錯任何事。

I know.

我知道

Although you did tell an awful lot of jokes.

雖然你確實講了很多笑話。

I thought you said those jokes were funny.

你不是說那些笑話很好笑嗎？

Joke, joke, joke, joke.

笑話，笑話，笑話，笑話

Joke, joke.

笑話，笑話。

Well, maybe it was all of your questions.

也許是你所有的問題。

What about my questions?

我的問題怎麼辦？

The sheer volume.

數量龐大。

It was like flying with the Riddler.

就像和謎語人一起飛行一樣。

Oh, I'm sorry.

哦，對不起。

Was that another joke?

這又是一個笑話嗎？

Was that another question?

這是另一個問題嗎？

Hey, I got you a present!

嘿，我給你買了個禮物

Oh, my goodness.

我的天啊

Where did you hide it?

你把它藏哪兒了？

I got it for your wedding, and I ordered it weeks ago, and it finally got here.

我為你的婚禮買的，幾周前就訂了，現在終於到了。

Pheebs, you didn't have to get us anything for our wedding.

菲此，你不必為我們的婚禮準備任何東西。

You already did something.

你已經做了一些事情。

I love it!

我喜歡

It's huge!

它是巨大的！

Let's open it!

讓我們打開它！

Open it!

打開它

It's the Ms. Pac-Man machine!

這是 "吃豆人女士 "機器！

Oh, my God!

我的天啊

I didn't know where to put it, so I just left it here for now.

我不知道該把它放在哪裡，所以就暫時放在這裡了。

Oh, well, maybe we could put it in the guest bedroom.

哦，也許我們可以把它放在客房裡。

Yeah, okay.

好吧

I kind of like it here.

我有點喜歡這裡。

Hey, you look great.