And I just want to say, congratulations you guys! Drinks for everyone! Alpenbaaar!

我只想說，祝賀你們！請大家喝酒阿爾卑斯山

I apologize, my wife is doing wet February. Oh hell yes I am!

對不起，我妻子二月份的衣服溼透了。哦，是的，我正在做！

Anyway, Kelsey and Matt... May I... I want to say, let me take the reins.

無論如何，凱爾和馬特...我...我想說，讓我接手吧

Kelsey and Matt, may you have a marriage as loving and passionate as daddy and me.

凱爾西和馬特，願你們的婚姻像我和爸爸一樣充滿愛和激情。

Oh baby, look at you. How about you?

寶貝，看看你你怎麼樣？

Am I in?

我加入嗎？

Oh wow, what happened there? What happened there?

哇，那裡發生了什麼？那裡發生了什麼？

Okay, weird speech. So for those of you who don't know me, I'm Sophie, the bride's childhood bestie. I couldn't make it to the wedding because I was unfortunately in prison.

好吧，奇怪的發言。對於那些不認識我的人來說 我是索菲 新娘小時候的閨蜜我沒能來參加婚禮 因為我不幸入獄了

You got so skitty in jail, girl. I know, right? I couldn't eat the food. Anyway, I'd love to invite up Kelsey's best friends, aka the Kel Squad.

你在監獄裡太邋遢了，姑娘。我知道，對吧？我都吃不下飯了總之，我想邀請凱爾西最好的朋友們，也就是凱爾小隊。

So instead of a speech, we're going to do something different for y'all because we're a little bit basic, a little bit toxic. So as some of you know, we took Kelsey to New

所以，我們不打算演講，而是要為你們做點不一樣的事情，因為我們有點基礎，有點毒。你們中的一些人知道，我們帶凱爾西去了新澤西州。

York City to celebrate the vow renewal. Matt said it had to be a day trip because he doesn't trust Kelsey on overnights anymore. Guilty as charged. Seriously though, I love strong women. While in New York, we got blackout drunk and went to Wicked. So Matt and Kelsey, this is for you.

紐約市慶祝重續誓言。馬特說必須是一日遊，因為他已經不放心凱爾西過夜了。罪名成立。不過說真的，我喜歡女強人。在紐約的時候，我們喝得酩酊大醉，還去看了 Wicked。馬特和凱爾西，這是給你們的。

Something has changed within her. She's ready to commit.

她的內心發生了一些變化。她已經準備好做出承諾。

She sees something in Matthew that honestly we do not get.

老實說，她在馬修身上看到了我們所不瞭解的東西。

The Drag Me Lady.

拖著我的女士

She has worked on herself and Matt has gone to the gym. Kelsey has made a commitment, so guess what this just in. She's where she's gonna try monogamy. She's finally learned what is monogamy and he will hold her down.

她在鍛鍊自己，馬特也去了健身房。凱爾西已經做出了承諾，你猜怎麼著？她要嘗試一夫一妻制她終於知道什麼是一夫一妻制了 而他會按住她的

Okay, well, that was great and now the song is over and we will not learn anything else.

好了，剛才唱得很好，現在這首歌結束了，我們不會再學任何東西了。

Really? Because a lot more happened.

真的嗎？因為還發生了很多事。

Oh my God, Taylor. Look, she's doing Taylor.

天啊，泰勒看，她在做泰勒

After the show, it's Madame Tussauds in Times Square. There's a wax Keanu Reeves, but Kelsey doesn't care. It's clear that Kelsey's mind is elsewhere.

演出結束後，我們來到時代廣場的杜莎夫人蠟像館。那裡有一個蠟像基努-裡維斯，但凱爾希並不在意。凱爾西顯然心不在焉。

What were you thinking about?

你在想什麼？

My friends are singing.

我的朋友們在唱歌

Next up, we take a pedicab in Central Park.

接下來，我們在中央公園乘坐三輪車。

Kelsey says there is a giant hole in my heart.

凱爾西說，我心裡有個大洞。

She throws a coin into a fountain and then she whispers, I wish I could be with him.

她把一枚硬幣扔進噴泉，然後低聲說，我希望能和他在一起。

We all know she's talking about Domingo, even though she can't be with Domingo.

我們都知道她說的是多明戈，儘管她不能和多明戈在一起。

She's down the middle of New York and she screams to the sky.

她在紐約市中心向天尖叫。

What she's looking for is this home Latin guy.

她要找的就是這個拉丁家庭男。

Kelsey can not be living without Domingo.

凱爾西的生活不能沒有多明戈。

Why you try to live without Domingo, baby?

沒有多明戈你怎麼活啊，寶貝？

Como se dice? Open relationship.

怎麼說？開放式關係

Hi Domingo!

嗨，多明戈！

Mamá, papi, how are the kitchen renovation going?

媽媽，爸爸，廚房裝修得怎麼樣了？

Wait, you guys know Domingo?

等等，你們認識多明戈？

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

是啊，是啊，是啊，是啊。

He was my primary care physician. And Domingo, do you know that you were right? I do have Hashimoto's.

他是我的主治醫生多明戈，你知道你是對的嗎？我確實得了橋本氏症

God, I can't believe Domingo is at another major life event of mine.

天哪，真不敢相信多明戈又參加了我的人生大事。

Don't worry, Matt, we got you.

別擔心，馬特，有我們呢。

What's up?

怎麼了？

What's up?

怎麼了？

Yeah.

是啊

Thanks, yeah.

謝謝

Reception's lit. As many as you know, we're Matt's groomsmen, a.k.a. the doormats.

接待處的燈光你們很多人都知道，我們是馬特的新郎官，也就是門墊。

We took Matt on a golf trip to the real city that never sleeps, Scottsdale, Arizona.

我們帶著馬特去亞利桑那州斯科茨代爾的不夜城打高爾夫。

Which is also our hometown.

這也是我們的家鄉。

And our names.

還有我們的名字

These are the three Scotts, and I'm Dale.

這三位是斯考特，我是戴爾。

Scottsdale!

斯科茨代爾

And let's just say, to play 18 holes, we needed a little espresso.

要打 18 洞，我們需要一點濃咖啡。

The groomsmen had a local staycation.

新郎官們在當地度假。

Cause we've been hit hard by inflation.

因為我們受到了通貨膨脹的嚴重打擊。

And we knew Matt needs a break from Kelsey.

我們知道馬特需要和凱爾西分開一段時間。

Just kidding, Kels. Your marriage is healthy.

開玩笑的 Kels你的婚姻很健康

Wait, what even is this song?

等等，這到底是什麼歌？

Now we're teeing up arms, putting out shots.

現在，我們在發球，在投籃。

Patty's name, Ronaldo. Take a golf cart to the condo.

帕蒂的名字叫羅納爾多坐高爾夫球車去公寓

Matt invites Ronaldo.

馬特邀請羅納爾多

We go to bed, Matthew does not.

我們去睡覺，馬修卻不去。

He's on a walk with Ronaldo.

他在和羅納爾多散步。

Wait, Sophie, were you on the guys' trip?

等等，蘇菲，你參加了他們的旅行嗎？

Oh, well, you know, I'm pretty sick of girls after prison.

哦，好吧，你知道的，我在監獄之後就很討厭女孩了。

And I'm sorry, I'm sorry, who is Ronaldo?

對不起，對不起，誰是羅納爾多？

Don't worry, honey, Ronaldo is in my past.

別擔心，親愛的，羅納爾多是我的過去。

Matthew, I'm here.

馬修 我來了

Hey man, hey, hey man.

嘿 夥計 嘿 夥計

Came all this way, had to explain, direct from Ronaldo.

大老遠跑來，還得解釋，這是羅納爾多的直傳球。

Matthew's my guy, said he's not mine.

馬修是我的人，但他說他不是我的。

But we did hook up, though.

但我們還是勾搭上了。

What? Matt?

什麼？馬特？

Ronaldo?

羅納爾多？

Honey, no!

親愛的，不

Okay, I'm sorry, you two know each other?

好吧，對不起，你們倆認識？

Of course, we are brothers.

當然，我們是兄弟。

I'm the older brother.

我是哥哥

And I'm the younger brother.

而我是弟弟。

And I'm the hot brother.

而我是那個性感的哥哥

Hi, Santiago.

嗨，聖地亞哥。

Santiago? Wait, Mom, Dad, how do you know him?

聖地亞哥？等等，媽媽，爸爸，你們怎麼認識他的？

Well, I did the kitchen renovation, and then I had sex with the wife.

我裝修了廚房，然後和妻子做愛。

How are you feeling, Santiago?

你感覺怎麼樣，聖地亞哥？

I don't know, I just love you, honey.

我不知道，我只是愛你，親愛的。

Came all, came all this way, had to explain, direct from Domingo.

我大老遠從多明戈趕來，不得不解釋一下。

Word to the wives that you got Hawaii.

告訴你們的妻子們，你們在夏威夷。

Hide them from the tree, bro!

把他們從樹上藏起來，兄弟！

Domingo!

多明戈