You guys are all standing. No pressure.

你們都站著別有壓力

No pressure.

沒有壓力。

We're having fun, you guys. We are here coming to you from South Florida.

我們玩得很開心我們在南佛羅里達為您報道。

Heck yeah, man.

是啊

Really close. I gotta ask you a question since we're here. I just wanna know how many Latinos in the crowd tonight?

好險既然來了，我得問你個問題我想知道今晚觀眾中有多少拉丁人？

Now, notice I asked Latinos. I wasn't very specific.

注意，我問的是拉美人。我說得不是很具體。

Because if you call a Latino the wrong one, there's an issue.

因為如果你把拉美人叫錯了，那就有問題了。

You call a Mexican a Salvadorian, we get mad.

你把墨西哥人叫做薩爾瓦多人，我們就會生氣。

You call a Puerto Rican a Dominican, they get mad. You call a Cuban anything but a Cuban, you're gonna get stabbed.

你把波多黎各人叫做多米尼加人，他們會生氣。如果你只叫古巴人古巴人，你會被捅死。

So for everyone here and everyone at home, I have found a way to figure out who's who.

是以，對於在這裡的每個人和在家裡的每個人，我都找到了一個辦法來弄清楚誰是誰。

It's very easy.

這很簡單。

All you have to do is listen to the way the person is speaking Spanish.

您只需傾聽對方說西班牙語的方式。

You don't have to understand a single word.

你不需要聽懂一個字。

Just listen to the flow. That'll let you know.

只要聽聽水流的聲音。它會讓你知道。

For example, Mexicans, when we speak Spanish, we sound high.

例如，墨西哥人說西班牙語時，我們的聲音聽起來很高。

Seriously, you ask us a question, we drag it out.

說真的，你問我們一個問題，我們就把它拖出來。

Hey bro, how's it going?

兄弟，最近怎麼樣？

Cubans, I found out Cubans, you guys speak Spanish, like everything means something. It's very serious.

古巴人，我發現古巴人，你們說西班牙語，好像每件事都有意義。非常嚴肅

You ask a Cuban a question, bro, where you going?

你問古巴人一個問題，兄弟，你要去哪裡？

Just asking, dude.

只是問問，老兄。

Why is he yelling? I don't know.

他為什麼大喊大叫？我也不知道

And I found out Puerto Ricans, you guys speak Spanish like there's a time limit.

我發現波多黎各人，你們說西班牙語就像有時間限制一樣。

You ask a question, hey bro, what's up?

你問一個問題，嘿，兄弟，怎麼了？

Fast.

快

Even Mexicans were like, hey, write that down.

連墨西哥人都說，嘿，寫下來。

Quick.

快。

Another way is the beverage.

另一種方法是飲料。

The beverage will let you know who you're dealing with.

飲料會讓你知道你在和誰打交道。

For example, a Mexican's preferred drink of choice is tequila.

例如，墨西哥人的首選飲品是龍舌蘭酒。

A Puerto Rican's preferred drink of choice is either

波多黎各人的首選飲料是

Don Cu or Coquito.

唐-庫（Don Cu）或科基多（Coquito）。

And a Cuban's preferred drink of choice is coffee.

古巴人的首選飲品是咖啡。

Now let me tell you how I know about this one.

現在讓我告訴你我是怎麼知道這件事的。

So a few years ago, Martina and I were doing a show at the Improv in Miami and after the show was over,

幾年前，瑪蒂娜和我在邁阿密的即興劇場演出 演出結束後

I was talking to Martina, I said, hey bro, we gotta try out some of this Cuban food everybody's been talking about, it's our first time here.

我跟瑪蒂娜說，嘿，兄弟，我們得嚐嚐大家都在談論的古巴美食，這是我們第一次來這裡。

And so we go outside to catch a cab and when we got in the car,

於是我們出去打車，上車後

I figured something out, and that is

我想明白了一件事，那就是

Cubans come in every color of the rainbow.

古巴人有彩虹的各種顏色。

Cubans and Puerto Ricans, you go from really, really white all the way to freaking navy black, just hardcore.

古巴人和波多黎各人的膚色從非常非常白，一直到海軍黑，簡直是黑得發亮。

Wesley Snipes, just dark, escudo, hardcore, you know what I mean?

韋斯利-斯奈普斯（Wesley Snipes），就是黑暗、埃斯庫多、硬漢，你明白我的意思嗎？

I didn't know that there was such a thing as a black Cuban, because we get in the car and we're speaking Spanish and this guy turns around and he's black and he's like, ¿Dónde quiere ir? Where you wanna go?

我不知道有古巴黑人這回事，因為我們上車後正說著西班牙語，這傢伙轉過身來，他是個黑人，他就說：¿Dónde quiere ir？你想去哪兒？

I'm like, oh my God!

我想，哦，我的上帝！

It freaked me out, I thought the partition was tinted.

這把我嚇壞了，我以為隔板是著色的。

I didn't know.

我不知道。

I didn't know.

我不知道。

So he's yelling at us, ¿Dónde quiere ir?

所以他對我們大喊：¿Dónde quiere ir？

I'm like, dude, why is he yelling?

我想，老兄，他為什麼大喊大叫？

I said, listen, we want to go somewhere to get some authentic Cuban food, where can we go?

我說，聽著，我們想找個地方吃點正宗的古巴菜，能去哪兒呢？

And then he takes us to this place called

然後，他把我們帶到一個叫做

Calle Ocho, which for everyone at home, Calle Ocho is

卡萊奧喬，對每個在家的人來說，卡萊奧喬就是

Spanish for 8th Street, and it's an area where, you know, it's very authentic.

西班牙語 "8th Street "的意思是 "第 8 街"，是一個非常道地的地區。

And he takes us to this restaurant called

他帶我們去了一家名為

La Carreta.

La Carreta.

So, you can't miss it.

所以，你一定不能錯過。

There's a restaurant on the corner with a giant wagon wheel in front of it and a huge rooster.

街角有一家餐廳，門前有一個巨大的馬車輪子和一隻大公雞。

I don't know what the rooster does, but look out for him.

我不知道公雞是幹什麼的，但你要小心它。

We walk inside and I think, what was it, Martín, like 2, 3 o'clock in the morning when we want in? Easy 3 in the morning.

我們走了進去，我想，是什麼時候呢，馬丁？ 我們想進去的時候，大概是凌晨兩三點鐘吧？凌晨三點

Easy 3 o'clock in the morning. We sit down at this table and we're looking at the menu and we're trying to figure it out and there's all kinds of bananas and all kinds of weird stuff that

凌晨三點，很簡單。我們坐在桌前，看著菜單，想弄明白，菜單上有各種香蕉和各種奇怪的東西。

I'm like, I didn't know that, okay, bananas, fine, okay, let's do this.

我想，我不知道，好吧，香蕉，好吧，好吧，我們開始吧。

And here comes the waiter and the waiter's coming over and he gets to my face and he's like, ¿Qué tú quieres?

服務員過來了，他湊到我面前問：¿Qué tú quieres?

And I'm like, I forgot.

我想，我忘了。

Why's he yelling?

他為什麼大喊大叫？

I don't know.

我不知道。

I said, listen, bro, I'll tell you what, let me look at this menu a little bit longer.

我說，聽著，兄弟，我告訴你，讓我再多看一會兒菜單。

I think we need some time, right, Martín? Yeah, we were like, yeah, we need some more time.

我覺得我們需要點時間，對吧，馬丁？是的，我們需要更多時間。

And I says, for right now, can I just get a coffee?

我說，現在我能喝杯咖啡嗎？

And he's like, okay, un cafecito.

他就說，好吧，來杯咖啡。

And he walks into the kitchen.

他走進廚房

He comes back five minutes later, seriously, with a little coaster and a shot glass of coffee on the coaster and he puts it down in front of me and he's like, ¿Okay?

五分鐘後，他回來了，認真地拿著一個小杯墊，杯墊上放著一杯咖啡，他把杯子放在我面前，然後說：¿好嗎？

And I'm like, what is this? ¡Es un cafecito!

我想，這是什麼？咖啡

I go, dude, look at me,

我走了，夥計，看著我、

I'm not a ito, I'm a ande.

我不是伊藤人，我是安第斯人。

And then I started thinking, maybe he knows who I am.

然後我開始想，也許他知道我是誰。

I get the joke, bring the really big guy the really little cup, you know what I mean?

我懂你的意思，給那個大個子拿個小杯子，你明白我的意思吧？

And I said, bro, what is it? ¿Un cafecito?

我說，兄弟，這是什麼？咖啡？

I go, no, no, no, no, no, bring me a full-sized cup of coffee.

我說，不，不，不，不，不，不，給我來一杯全杯咖啡。

Take this back in the... I was frustrated.

把這個帶回...我很沮喪

So the guy's like, okay, and what do you want? ¡Okay!

那傢伙說，好吧，你想要什麼？好的

So he grabs it all pissed off and then he goes in the kitchen and he starts talking trash to one of the cooks.

於是他生氣地抓起它，然後走進廚房，開始對一個廚師說垃圾話。

And then he comes back with a bowl of

然後他端著一碗

Cuban coffee, okay?

古巴咖啡，好嗎？

And he puts it down in front of me and he won't leave the table. He's like, ¡Okay!

他把它放在我面前 不肯離開桌子他說，"好的

And I'm like, okay, ¡okay!

我想，好吧，好吧！

Okay, ¡okay!

好的

Oh, I get it.

哦，我明白了。

He wants me to make sure this is what I want, right?

他想讓我確定這是我想要的，對嗎？

So I pick up the bowl and I take a little sip of it and when the coffee hit my tongue, I was like, ¡Oh, my God!

於是我端起咖啡碗，輕輕地抿了一口，當咖啡的香味撲鼻而來時，我就想，"哦，我的上帝啊！

This is the most concentrated coffee I've ever had.

這是我喝過的濃度最高的咖啡。

It was really, really strong and then it clicked.

它真的非常非常強大，然後一觸即發。

That's why they bring you a little shot glass of this stuff. So now I don't want to look stupid making him take a bowl of coffee back in the kitchen, so I picked it up to my face again and I drank the whole thing.

這就是為什麼他們會給你拿一個小酒杯。現在，我不想讓他把一碗咖啡端回廚房，顯得自己很蠢，於是我又端起咖啡，一飲而盡。

Well done. I knew I messed up, bro. I knew I messed up because a waiter looked at me and he's like, ¡Vaya con Dios!

幹得好我知道我搞砸了，兄弟我知道我搞砸了，因為一個服務生看著我，他就像在說："Vaya con Dios（上帝萬歲）"！

He goes back in the kitchen and he's like, ¡Manolo!

他回到廚房，說 "馬諾洛

¡Con 911!

Con 911！

Ten minutes go by, you guys.

十分鐘過去了

I am so wired. That coffee is strong. That is the only way in the world

我太興奮了咖啡很濃這是世界上唯一的方法

Cubans can make that swim.

古巴人會游泳。

You

你