Okay, you ready?

好了，準備好了嗎？

Oh, what is it?

哦，怎麼了？

What the hell is that?

那是什麼鬼東西？

It's a cat.

是一隻貓。

That is not a cat.

那不是貓。

Yes, it is.

是的，就是這樣。

Why is it inside out?

為什麼是內向外？

Excuse me, but this is a pure-bred, show-quality, synced cat.

對不起，這是一隻純種的、表演級的同步貓。

How much did you pay for that?

你為此花了多少錢？

Well, it was a little extravagant, but I got a pretty good deal.

雖然有點奢侈，但我得到了一筆不錯的交易。

How much?

多少錢？

A thousand bucks.

一千塊

On a cat?

在貓身上？

It's not a cat!

這不是一隻貓！

All right, listen, ball boys.

好了 聽著 球童們

My grandmother had one of these when I was a little girl, and it was the sweetest thing.

我小的時候，我的祖母就有一個這樣的東西，它是最可愛的東西。

I mean, it was so cute.

我是說，它太可愛了。

It would sit in my lap and purr all day long, and I would drag a shoestring on the ground, and it would taste it.

它整天坐在我腿上咕嚕咕嚕地叫，我在地上拖一根鞋帶，它就會嘗一嘗。

Free cats do that too, you know.

自由貓也會這樣，你知道嗎？

It's not a cat.

這不是一隻貓。

Look, you guys, I'm really excited about this, okay?

聽著，夥計們，我真的很興奮，好嗎？

I don't care what you think.

我不在乎你怎麼想。

I'm gonna go set up a little litter box for Mrs. Whiskerson.

我去給威斯克森太太準備個小垃圾箱

What am I gonna call her?

我該怎麼稱呼她？

Fluffy?

蓬鬆？

Don't worry, guys.

別擔心，夥計們。

It's not a cat.

這不是一隻貓。

Oh my, oh good God!

我的天啊

I give up, you guys.

我放棄了，夥計們。

I don't know what I'm gonna do with this thing.

我不知道該拿這東西怎麼辦。

Baking it didn't help, huh?

烘烤也沒用，是吧？

So, why don't you just take it back to where you got it?

那你為什麼不把它送回原處呢？

I tried.

我試過了

They won't take her back.

他們不會帶她回去的

Well, maybe that's because she's a minion of the Antichrist.

也許這是因為她是反基督者的爪牙。

Wait, why won't they take it back?

等等，他們為什麼不收回？

Well, they said they would, but they would only give me store credit.

他們說可以，但只給我商店積分。

I mean, what am I gonna do?

我的意思是，我該怎麼辦？

Get a thousand regular cats?

養一千隻普通貓？

Look, if you want, you can keep it at our place until you find out what to do with it.

聽著，如果你願意，你可以把它放在我們家，直到你找到處理它的辦法。

No, that's not the point.

不，這不是重點。

I'm out a thousand dollars, I'm all scratched up, and I'm stuck with this stupid cat that looks like a hand.

我損失了一千塊錢，渾身都是傷，還被這隻長得像手的蠢貓纏住了。

Show cats!

貓咪表演

Quality!

品質

Show cats!

貓咪表演

Show cats!

貓咪表演

Oh my God!

我的天啊

What's wrong with your baby?

你的寶寶怎麼了？

It's not a baby, that's a cat.

那不是嬰兒，那是一隻貓。

Ew, it's creepy looking.

呃，看起來好嚇人。

Oh no, no, it's actually, it's very sweet, it's very sweet.

哦，不，不，實際上，它非常甜，非常甜。

Yeah, do you want it?

是的，你想要嗎？

No, I hate cats.

不，我討厭貓。

Well, so then, what are you doing to me, okay?

那你要對我做什麼？

Just get out of here, all right?

離開這裡，好嗎？

Move on.

繼續前進。

Geez, wow, what an unusual cat.

天哪，哇，好一隻不尋常的貓。

Yes, thank you, exactly.

是的，謝謝你，沒錯。

Do you want it?

你想要嗎？

Maybe.

也許吧

I was thinking about getting a cat.

我在考慮養一隻貓。

I was just gonna go to the shelter, but...

我本來想去收容所，但是...

Okay, why not?

好吧，為什麼不呢？

Oh, terrific.

哦，太棒了。

That'll be two thousand dollars.

一共是兩千美元

What?

什麼？

Okay, a thousand.

好吧，一千個。

I thought you wanted me to adopt your cat.

我還以為你想讓我收養你的貓呢

Well, I do, but you're just gonna have to actually look at this as more of an investment than a cat.

好吧，我是這麼想的，但你得把它當成投資而不是一隻貓。

Okay, yeah, I just wanted a cat.

好吧，是的，我只是想要一隻貓。

Yeah, okay.

好吧

Obviously, you know how to haggle, so I'm not gonna try and take you on, okay?

很顯然，你知道如何討價還價，所以我不會試著跟你討價還價，好嗎？

So, eight hundred dollars, and I don't call the cops, which I should, because you are robbing me blind, blind.

所以，八百塊錢，我沒有報警，我應該報警，因為你是在搶劫我的錢。

You're actually gonna take the cat, leave the money, and run away.

你其實是想把貓帶走，留下錢，然後逃走。

Run away.

逃跑。

Damn it.

該死的

Oh, can't you at least smile or something?

你就不能笑一笑嗎？

Okay, did anybody just hear that?

好吧，有人聽到了嗎？

Anybody?

有人嗎？

Rachel, what is your cat doing in one of my bowls?

瑞秋，你的貓在我的碗裡幹什麼？

It's not.

不是這樣的。

I'm defrosting a chicken.

我正在解凍一隻雞。

Oh, I sold Mrs. Whiskerson.

我把威斯克森太太賣了

Oh, thank God.

謝天謝地

Did you get your money back?

錢拿回來了嗎？

Yeah, fifteen hundred dollars.

是的，一千五百美元

Wow, you made a profit?

哇，你賺了？

I just came for the red velvet pillow.

我就是衝著紅天鵝絨枕頭來的。

Oh, yes.

哦，是的。

There you go.

這就對了。

Thanks, Rachel.

謝謝，瑞秋。

Yeah.

是啊

And don't forget, you can come visit her anytime you want.

別忘了，你可以隨時來看她。

Oh, good, great.

哦，好，太好了。

I'll keep that in mind.

我會記住的。

Hey, so what is this, some kind of snake or something?

嘿，這是什麼，蛇還是什麼？