Now some of you might not know this, but after a long, hard day of brutally murdering your favourite characters, there's nothing I like more than sitting down in a big, comfy armchair and enjoying a nice hot cup of fluffy-wuffy uwu nonsense juice.

你們中有些人可能不知道，在經歷了漫長而辛苦的一天，殘忍地殺害了你們最喜歡的角色之後，我最喜歡的事就是坐在寬大舒適的扶手椅上，享受一杯熱乎乎的毛茸茸的烏有果汁。

Now I know what you're thinking, Alex, the world is dying held hostage by corporate greed and myopic, self-interested political leaders, I don't have time to check in on my favourite

我知道你在想什麼，亞歷克斯，這個世界正被企業的貪婪和近視、自私的政治領導人所挾持，奄奄一息。

Blorbo-Scrunkly-Twink-Ship drama, I've got to go eat the rich.

Blorbo-Scrunkly-Twink-Ship 戲劇，我得去吃有錢人了。

And I hear you, I really do.

我聽到了，真的。

Eating the rich is important, but so is self-care, and sometimes you've got to slow down to smell the flowers.

吃得豐富固然重要，但自我保健也同樣重要，有時你必須放慢腳步去聞聞花香。

So with that in mind, we wanted to give you a little something to help you out, a sous-sang of silliness to send you on your way.

是以，考慮到這一點，我們想給你一點小東西來幫助你，一個傻傻的蘇桑，送你上路。

And so we present to you this lovingly crafted Season 1 Bonus Fluff episode, affectionately titled Plenty More Fish, which is full to the brim with positivity like friendship, love and punctuality, and is guaranteed completely organic and free from artificial horrors.

是以，我們為您獻上這一集精心製作的第一季 "花絮"（Bonus Fluff），並親切地將其命名為 "更多的魚"（Plenty More Fish），其中充滿了友情、愛情和守時等積極因素，而且保證完全有機，不含人工添加的恐怖成分。

So while you're waiting for your Amazon-based exquilatine to arrive, why not sit back, relax, and enjoy a taste of our delicious nonsense.

是以，在您等待您的亞馬遜特產抵達的同時，何不坐下來放鬆一下，品嚐一下我們美味的無稽之談呢？

Mmm, yum.

嗯，好吃

There you are.

給你

What happened to the usual table?

老桌子怎麼了？

Already taken.

已被佔用。

What?

什麼？

How are we supposed to mope about in the corner when we're in the middle of the room?

我們在房間中央，怎麼能在角落裡悶悶不樂呢？

The vibes here are unconducive to bitterness.

這裡的氛圍與苦澀無緣。

Yeah, well, tough.

是啊，很艱難。

So sit your vibes down and get drinking already.

所以，趕緊坐下來喝酒吧。

Got you a pint of your hipster piss.

給你買了一品脫的時髦尿。

IPAs aren't hipster, Colin.

IPA不是時髦，科林。

They sell them in Tesco.

樂購就有賣。

Almost thought you weren't going to show.

差點以為你不來了。

I missed the chance of seeing you moaning into your pint.

我錯過了看你對著酒杯呻吟的機會。

Never.

從來沒有

It's the better listener than you.

它是比你更好的傾聽者。

True, but it hardly ever calls you a sour old wanker with no taste in women or drink.

沒錯，但它幾乎不會說你是個對女人和酒都沒品位的老色鬼。

Harsh, but fair.

嚴厲，但公平。

Speaking of...

說到

Merry divorce!

離婚快樂

And a happy piss-off.

還有快樂的小便。

What is it now, three years?

現在是什麼時候了，三年？

Four and twelve.

四歲和十二歲

Still living the bachelor dream?

還在做單身夢嗎？

What, dying alone?

什麼，孤獨終老？

That's the plan.

這就是計劃。

Is your next of kin still that hard drive when you keep all of your porn?

你的近親還是那個保存著你所有色情內容的硬盤嗎？

Huh, you think it's just the one?

你認為只有一個？

Poor, naive Alice.

可憐天真的愛麗絲

So young, so foolish in the ways of love.

如此年輕，在愛的道路上如此懵懂。

Speaking of...

說到

Ah, and there it is.

啊，就在這裡。

Go on then, take your shots at poor little Alice.

來吧，向可憐的小愛麗絲開炮吧。

It's been, what, a month now?

有一個月了吧？

About that.

關於這一點。

I still can't believe you got on the job after everything you said.

在你說了這麼多之後，我還是不敢相信你會得到這份工作。

Hey, moaning about exes on divorce-mas is just what you do.

嘿，在離婚節上抱怨前任就是你的工作。

He's actually a good guy who just needed to catch a break.

他其實是個好人，只是需要休息一下。

Sure, sure.

當然，當然。

Must be hard for you, though.

不過，你一定很難過。

All those unfamiliar human feelings bubble into the surface.

所有這些陌生的人類情感都會湧上心頭。

Ew, are you trying to upset me?

呃，你是想惹我生氣嗎？

Aye.

是

Then up your game, Becker, because I'm a stone-cold emotional fortress.

那就加把勁，貝克爾 因為我是個冷酷無情的情感堡壘

Oh, good.

哦，很好

Then you probably won't have a problem with what's lurking behind you.

這樣，你可能就不會對潛伏在你身後的東西感到困擾了。

What?

什麼？

Alice!

愛麗絲

Call in!

打電話進來

Oh, God.

哦，上帝啊

Alice, what is Sam doing here?

愛麗絲，山姆在這裡做什麼？

I, uh...

我...

Hey!

嘿！

Am I early?

我來早了嗎？

No.

不

Did Alice invite you?

愛麗絲邀請你了嗎？

Uh, yeah.

是的

She said you were having a divorce party, which I assumed was just her way of staying a bit of a booze-up, so...

她說你們要辦離婚派對，我以為她只是想借酒消愁，所以......

You see, Alice, this is what happens when everything that comes out of your mouth is a sarcastic joke.

你看，愛麗絲，這就是當你嘴裡說的每一句話都是冷笑話時的下場。

People get confused.

人們會感到困惑。

Oh.

哦。

Ah.

啊。

Listen, if I'm intruding, I can...

聽著，如果我打擾了，我可以...

You're here now.

你來了

What are you drinking?

你在喝什麼？

Uh, IPA.

呃，IPA。

Thanks.

謝謝。

Alice?

愛麗絲？

Okay, so Colin's been divorced a couple of times, and as part of some bizarre cosmic joke, both of them ended up being finalised on the same day of the year.

好吧，科林已經離過好幾次婚了，作為宇宙間某個奇異玩笑的一部分，兩次離婚最終都是在一年中的同一天完成的。

So he and I, we've kind of got this little tradition now, where on that day, today, we get together, get pissed, and, uh...

所以他和我，我們現在有了這個小傳統 在那一天，今天，我們聚在一起，生氣，呃...

And?

然後呢？

And bitch about our exes.

還抱怨我們的前男友

Oh.

哦。

Oh, I should go.

我該走了

Too late for that.

為時已晚。

Colin's already gone to get you a drink.

科林已經去給你拿酒了

You duck out now, and you're as good as dead.

你現在躲開，就等於死了。

Sure, but...

當然，但是...

I wouldn't worry.

我不擔心。

He loves to see me squirm, so I'm sure he'll have a great time.

他喜歡看我扭動的樣子，所以我相信他會玩得很開心。

Here you go.

給你

Thanks.

謝謝。

Drink it.

喝吧

Uh, okay.

好吧

Well, go on, then.

那就繼續吧

Sorry?

什麼？

I think what Colin is trying to say is that as the newest member of this particular bitchy subcommittee, you have to spill on your exes.

我認為科林想說的是，作為這個特別賤的小組委員會的最新成員，你必須向你的前任們吐苦水。

Um, okay.

好吧

So, uh, there was this girl...

有個女孩...

I'm right here.

我就在這裡

Hey, I'll have you know I have plenty of exes.

嘿，我要讓你知道我有很多前男友。

What, like actual humans?

什麼，像真正的人類一樣？

Get on with it.

繼續吧

Right, yeah, sorry.

對，是的，對不起。

So, uh, her name was, uh, Kelly, and she worked at my old office in HR.

她叫凱莉 在我以前的辦公室做人力資源工作

Red flag.

紅旗。

Did she make you sign a form?

她讓你籤表格了嗎？

She was nice.

她人很好

That's not what I asked.

我問的不是這個。

She may have needed us to declare a potential conflict of interest, but...

她可能需要我們申報潛在的利益衝突，但是...

But that wasn't why we split up.

但這不是我們分手的原因。

Christ, what was the reason, then?

天哪，那是什麼原因呢？

Oh, it just didn't work out.

哦，就是沒成功。

Right.

對

Listen, Sam.

聽著 山姆

If you're going to hang with the mean girls, you're going to have to do better than that.

如果你想和那些刻薄的女孩混在一起，你就必須做得更好。

What sucked about her?

她哪裡不好？

What obnoxious habit did she have?

她有什麼令人討厭的習慣？

What drove you up the wall and made you want to gnaw your arm off?

是什麼把你逼上絕路，讓你想咬斷自己的胳膊？

Oh, I don't know.

哦，我不知道。

Oh, actually, she had this weird thing where when she laughed, her tongue came, like, all the way out of her mouth.

哦，實際上，她有個怪癖，一笑起來，舌頭就會從嘴裡伸出來。

It was so weird, I can't really do it.

這太奇怪了，我真的做不到。

It was like...

這就像...

Ew.

Ew.

Right?

對不對？

And she was into old black and white comedies.

她還喜歡老式的黑白喜劇片。

You know, Laurel and Hardy, the Marx Brothers, that kind of thing.

你知道，勞雷爾和哈迪，馬克思兄弟，諸如此類。

I mean, that's annoying, sure, but...

我的意思是，這很煩人，當然，但是...

No, I mean, she was really into them.

不，我是說，她真的很喜歡它們。

As in, every day it was around her place, watching old movies, and every time we ended up...

就像每天都在她家附近看老電影一樣，每次我們最後都...

I'm sure you looked very fetching dressed up as Charlie Chaplin in stockings and handcuffs.

我敢肯定，你打扮成查理-卓別林（Charlie Chaplin）的樣子，穿著絲襪，戴著手銬，一定非常迷人。

What? No, it was nothing like that.

什麼？不，不是那樣的

Although, she did ask me if I smoked cigars and seemed a bit disappointed when I said no.

不過，她問我是否抽雪茄，當我說不抽時，她似乎有點失望。

Oh, Sam.

哦，山姆

My poor little oblivious baby shrimp.

我可憐的忘憂小蝦寶寶

I'm telling you, it wasn't like that.

我告訴你，不是那樣的。

We were just talking about...

我們正在談論...

Oh, my God.

我的天啊

What?

什麼？

She bought me a bowler hat.

她給我買了一頂圓頂禮帽。

I'm sorry?

你說什麼？

What do you mean, she bought you a bowler hat?

你什麼意思，她給你買了一頂圓頂硬禮帽？

It was a gift.

這是一份禮物。

She said she thought I'd look good in it.

她說她覺得我穿起來會很好看。

I bet she did.

我打賭她是的。

Amazing.

太神奇了

It's not like I wore it out on the street or anything.

我又不是穿著它上街什麼的。

Just once or twice when...

只有一兩次，當...

Sam, I know you think you want normal, but I think it's pretty obvious that deep down, you only go for the truly depraved and bizarre.

山姆，我知道你覺得你想要正常的，但我覺得很明顯，在你內心深處，你只喜歡真正墮落和怪異的東西。

Sounds about right.

聽起來差不多。

Damn skippy.

該死的 Skippy。

Well, what about you then, huh?

那你呢？

I'm guessing it was non-stop horror stories when I wasn't on the scene.

我猜我不在現場的時候，恐怖故事就沒完沒了了。

Mate, you have no idea.

夥計，你不知道。

You are a well-adjusted genius alpha male heartthrob compared to what Alice has been dating.

與愛麗絲約會的對象相比，你是一個適應良好的天才阿爾法男心上人。

I'm not that bad.

我沒那麼壞

Oh, no?

不是嗎？

So you'd be happy to hang out with Amy again then?

那你願意再和艾米一起玩嗎？

Look, say what you like about Amy.

隨你怎麼說艾米

Alright, I will.

好吧，我會的。

She was a psycho who got you mixed up with your own brother and then stabbed him for being an imposter.

她是個瘋子，把你和你親哥哥弄混了，還因為你是個冒牌貨而刺傷了你親哥哥。

I'm sorry, what?

對不起，什麼？

Okay, Colin is exaggerating.

好吧，科林太誇張了。

She barely broke the skin and, in her defence, she was very high at the time.

她幾乎連皮都沒破，而且她自己也辯解說，當時她嗑藥嗑得很厲害。

Jesus.

天啊

Obviously we broke up after.

很顯然，我們後來分手了。

Yeah, a month after.

是的，一個月後

A month?

一個月？

Jesus, Alice.

天啊，愛麗絲

I was trying to say earlier, say what you like about Amy, but she was a fabulous lay.

我剛才想說的是，隨你怎麼評價艾米，但她的床上功夫真是一流。

My theory is, Alice can only get off with people who are properly batshit, you know?

我的理論是，愛麗絲只能和那些正常的瘋子在一起，你知道嗎？

Like...

比如...

God, what was his name?

天哪，他叫什麼名字？

Ignatius.

伊格內修斯

That was it.

就是這樣。

Bloody Ignatius.

該死的伊格內修斯

The man who was being hunted for the secret to Cold Fusion.

那個因為冷核熔的祕密而被追殺的人。

Okay, in my defence, he didn't tell me that until the second day.

好吧，說起來，他是第二天才告訴我的。

That's true, because he was too busy on your first day explaining how you might need to go off-grid because he was being pursued by... what was it he said?

這倒是真的，因為他在你第一天上班時就忙著解釋你可能需要離開電網，因為他被......他說什麼來著？

Despicable agents with numerous foreign powers.

與眾多外國勢力勾結的卑劣特工。

And there was a second date.

還有第二次約會

He could have been a sexy super-spy.

他本來可以成為一個性感的超級間諜。

I mean, I don't know how super he could be if he told you that on the first date.

我的意思是，如果他第一次約會就告訴你這些，我不知道他會有多棒。

Oh, stick it up your bowler hat.

哦，把它塞進你的圓頂硬禮帽裡吧。

You have no idea how bad it is out there for a trans woman with basic standards.

你不知道，對於一個有基本標準的變性女人來說，外面的環境有多糟糕。

Right, so if I meet one, she'll have my sympathies.

好吧，如果我遇到一個，我會同情她的。

You're up, Becker.

該你了 Becker

Oh, yeah.

哦，是的

This is your divorce party, or whatever, isn't it?

這是你的離婚派對吧？

So go on, then.

那就繼續吧。

Weirdest hook-up.

最奇怪的約會

I don't do hook-ups.

我不勾搭人。

I mostly just pay people, marry them, then divorce them.

我主要是付錢給別人，和他們結婚，然後離婚。

Speaking of, you're about due to drop down on one knee again, aren't you?

說到這個，你又該單膝跪地了吧？

I'd watch out if I were you, Sam.

如果我是你 我會小心的 山姆

If I'm on my knees near any of you lot, it'll be because I'm finally rigging the entire place to blow with you inside it.

如果我跪在你們附近，那是因為我終於要把你們和這個地方一起炸掉了。

Oh, man.

天啊

All right, then.

那好吧

How about the first marriage?

第一次婚姻如何？

What happened there?

那裡發生了什麼？

He cheated on me with my manager.

他和我的經理出軌了

Had been for a while.

已經有一段時間了。

Shit.

媽的

Right, sure.

對，當然。

Tragic.

悲劇。

Terrible breach of trust and all that.

可怕的失信行為

Blah, blah, blah.

胡說，胡說，胡說。

But that's not the real reason, is it, Colin?

但這不是真正的原因 對嗎 科林？

Alice.

愛麗絲

Come on, you don't need to...

來吧，你不需要...

Colin?

科林？

Um...

嗯...

Might have been sort of maybe looking to break it off anyway for a while.

也許是想暫時斷絕關係。

Oh, yeah?

哦，是嗎？

Because?

因為什麼？

Because he was turning into a crypto bro.

因為他正在變成一個加密兄弟。

I'm sorry, what?

對不起，什麼？

Oh, yeah, yeah.

哦，是的，是的。

Laugh it up.

笑起來

You try living with someone when they fill their flat with bloody graphics cards running non-stop.

你可以試著和別人住在一起，當他們的公寓裡塞滿了該死的顯卡，不停地運轉時。

You never put towards the energy bill, and every conversation was just another lecture on bloody blockchain or blobcoin or whatever the latest bullshit doing the rounds on Reddit was.

你從不為能源賬單買單，每次談話都是關於該死的區塊鏈或 blobcoin 的演講，或是 Reddit 上最新流行的廢話。

That does sound...

這聽起來...

A lot.

很多。

Yeah.

是啊

So, when I caught him messing around with Clive,

所以當我發現他和克萊夫鬼混時

I dropped his crypto wallet in the bog, took a dump, and flushed.

我把他的加密錢包扔進沼澤，拉了一泡屎，然後沖走了。

Last time I checked, that shit would be worth about 1.2 million now.

上次我查過，那玩意現在大約值 120 萬。

Jesus Christ.

耶穌基督

Yeah.

是啊

And that, Sam, is why we celebrate this most holy of days to drink, moan, and remind ourselves that it's absolutely the right decision to die bitter and alone.

山姆，這就是為什麼我們要慶祝這個最神聖的日子，喝酒、呻吟，並提醒自己，痛苦而孤獨地死去絕對是正確的決定。

There's plenty more fish in the sea.

海里還有很多魚。

And they're all covered in their own shite.

而且他們都沾滿了自己的屎。

Hmm.

嗯

Well, I don't know if I'm quite at your level yet.

我不知道自己是否達到了你的水準。

Still got the heart of a romantic, I guess.

我想，他還是有一顆浪漫的心。

Oh, we'll cut that out of you and burn it on the altar as a sacrifice to the gods of messy breakups.

哦，我們會把你的那部分切下來，放在祭壇上燒掉，作為對混亂分手之神的祭品。

I see.

我明白了

And would the high priests of Heartbreak accept a pair of pints as sacrifice instead?