A year ago I made a video talking about how I don't have any friends and to this day I still get a lot of messages from followers telling me how they related to my video and they had a lot of similar experiences to me which really made me think about why so many people have such a hard time keeping and making friends as an adult.

一年前，我製作了一個視頻，講述我如何沒有朋友，直到今天，我仍然收到很多粉絲的留言，告訴我他們如何看待我的視頻，他們和我有很多相似的經歷，這真的讓我思考，為什麼很多人成年後很難交到朋友。

I think when we were younger, whether that be like middle school, high school, or sometimes even college, it was a lot easier to make friends simply because we were around each other for long periods of time every single day and this creates a kind of common denominator or common environment that brings us all together.

我認為，在我們年輕的時候，無論是國中、高中，有時甚至是大學，交朋友都要容易得多，因為我們每天都要長時間地在一起，這就形成了一種共同點或共同的環境，把我們聚集在一起。

So we might be from backgrounds, we might have different interests, but at the end of the day we're all stuck in this classroom so we're gonna find things that we have in common, we're gonna find things to talk about to make things a little bit more enjoyable.

是以，我們可能來自不同的背景，我們可能有不同的興趣愛好，但歸根結底，我們都被困在這間教室裡，所以我們要找到我們的共同點，我們要找到可以談論的話題，讓事情變得更有趣一些。

But as adults, everything changes.

但成年後，一切都變了。

There are many different life paths to follow.

有許多不同的人生道路可以選擇。

Some people focus on family, they get married, start having kids, and others might focus on their career.

有些人關注家庭，結婚生子，有些人則關注事業。

Whatever it may be, as an adult people are more usually focused on themselves and doing things that they want to do.

不管是什麼原因，作為成年人，人們通常更關注自己，做自己想做的事情。

So naturally we don't have as much time to focus on friendships and we also start to lose these common denominators that brought us together when we were kids.

是以，我們自然沒有那麼多時間去關注友誼，我們也開始失去這些小時候讓我們走到一起的共同點。

And it's not even just about the lack of free time or the convenience.

這甚至不僅僅是因為沒有空閒時間或不方便。

I feel like when we were kids, friendships were pretty innocent and pure, but as we get older there are other things that come into play like social status, personal motives, or anything like that.

我覺得當我們還是孩子的時候，友誼是非常天真和純潔的，但隨著年齡的增長，就會有其他的東西出現，比如社會地位、個人動機或其他類似的東西。

And this can make it kind of hard to open up to people and really trust people.

這會讓你很難向別人敞開心扉，也很難真正信任別人。

For example, when I was in college I thought I had a really close friend, a really good friend of mine, and we had a lot of classes together.

例如，我上大學時有一個非常要好的朋友，我們一起上過很多課。

We would always go and get boba together, we'd study together, always hang out.

我們經常一起去買蕎麥麵，一起學習，經常在一起玩。

We had a lot of inside jokes and to me it seemed like a really perfect friendship.

我們有很多內部笑話，對我來說，這似乎是一段非常完美的友誼。

But the minute I graduated she stopped responding to my texts.

但我一畢業，她就不再回我簡訊了。

To be honest, I was really confused at the time and I didn't really understand what was going on, but then when I started to look back on our friendship I realized that she was actually just kind of using me to get through all the classes we had together.

老實說，當時我真的很困惑，不明白到底發生了什麼，但當我開始回顧我們之間的友誼時，我意識到她其實只是在利用我，來度過我們一起上過的所有課程。

She would always ask me for help, she would always ask to see my work, but the second I was no longer useful to her she just cut me off.

她總是向我尋求幫助，總是要求看我的作品，但當我對她不再有用的時候，她就會和我斷絕關係。

This experience was honestly kind of heartbreaking for me and it made me rethink my entire outlook on adult friendships.

老實說，這次經歷讓我有點心碎，它讓我重新思考了我對成人友誼的整個看法。

And I also started thinking about all the other people in my life and if they would just suddenly leave if they realized that I was no longer any use to them.

我也開始思考我生命中的其他人，如果他們意識到我對他們不再有用，他們會不會突然離開。

But why else is it hard to make little bit harder to be vulnerable with strangers?

但是，為什麼在與陌生人相處時，我們還是難以變得脆弱呢？

And being vulnerable is a big part of making friends.

而脆弱是交朋友的一個重要部分。

We don't want to come off as too strong when making new friends, so we might wait to respond to a text message not wanting to seem too desperate.

在結交新朋友時，我們不想表現得太強勢，是以可能會等待回覆簡訊，不想讓人覺得太絕望。

And it's almost like we don't want them to think that we care more about them than they care about us, which is a valid fear I think.

這就好像我們不想讓他們覺得我們對他們的關心超過了他們對我們的關心，我覺得這種擔心是有道理的。

It is really hard to accept that someone we see as a best friend might only see us as an acquaintance or just a normal friend.

我們很難接受我們視為摯友的人可能只把我們當作熟人或普通朋友。

So naturally in order to protect ourselves we come off as a little bit more reserved, but when everyone does this it's really hard to make close relationships.

是以，為了保護自己，我們自然會顯得有些拘謹，但當每個人都這樣做時，就很難建立親密的關係了。

For me it's not even about finding it hard to make friends right now, it's also hard to keep the friends that I did have in the past.

對我來說，現在交朋友並不難，難的是如何留住過去的朋友。

Whether that's from high school or from college, after graduation people just move on with their own lives and get super busy.

無論是高中還是大學，畢業後人們都會繼續自己的生活，變得超級忙碌。

And they might move to different cities or even go abroad doing their own thing.

他們可能會搬到不同的城市，甚至出國做自己的事情。

And of course I'm very happy for them, but it just makes it harder to have this connection.

當然，我也為他們感到高興，但這隻會讓我們更難建立這種聯繫。

We see each other less and less and then naturally grow apart and share less of our lives together.

我們見面的機會越來越少，然後自然而然地疏遠，共同生活的時間也越來越少。

Honestly if I think about this for too long it does make me pretty sad because it's sad to think that the people I grew up with and shared a lot of really really important and perfect memories with are no longer a big part of my life.

老實說，如果我想得太久，確實會讓我很難過，因為想到和我一起長大、一起分享了很多非常非常重要和完美回憶的人不再是我生命中的重要組成部分，我就很難過。

But I do think this is a normal part of life.

但我認為這是生活的正常部分。

Some people are only going to be there in a specific phase of your life.

有些人只會在你人生的特定階段出現。

Some people grow apart and that's totally normal.

有些人逐漸疏遠，這完全正常。

And the good thing is nothing in life is ever permanent.

好在生命中沒有什麼是永恆的。

Old friendships can always be rekindled and you can find new friends, it just might take a little more effort and time.

舊的友誼總是可以重燃的，你也可以找到新的朋友，只是可能需要更多的努力和時間。

And sometimes you have to wait for the right person to show up in your life.

有時，你必須等待合適的人出現在你的生命中。

It's all about finding the right timing and being patient.

關鍵是要找準時機，耐心等待。

So if you're struggling with making new friends or keeping the ones that you do have or maybe you're just feeling a little bit lonely, just know that it's totally normal and you're not alone.

是以，如果你正在為結交新朋友或留住現有朋友而苦惱，或者你只是感到有點孤獨，只要知道這是完全正常的，你並不孤單。

Life moves in phases and just because you don't have any close friends right now doesn't mean you're never gonna have any close friends.

人生是分階段的，你現在沒有親密朋友，並不意味著你永遠不會有親密朋友。

And the right people will show up when they're meant to.

而合適的人會在他們該出現的時候出現。

We just need to be patient and let things happen naturally.

我們只需耐心等待，讓事情自然發生。

These are just some of my thoughts on why it might be hard to make friends as an adult.

以上就是我對成年人交朋友難的一些看法。

And let me know what your thoughts are on this topic.

請告訴我您對這個話題的看法。

Or you can share your stories in the comments if you had anything similar to me happen where you thought you had a close friend but it turned out to be something totally different.

如果你也遇到過和我類似的情況，以為有了親密朋友，結果卻完全不同，也可以在評論中分享你的故事。

So just let me know in the comments and I'll see you guys next time.

請在評論中告訴我，我們下次再見。

Bye bye!

再見