President Trump has been invited to the White House Cora Spondent's Dinner.

特朗普總統受邀參加白宮科拉-斯邦德晚宴。

Will he decline or attend and risk standing at a urinal between Mark Knoller and Dave Weigel?

他是會拒絕，還是會冒著站在馬克-諾勒（Mark Knoller）和戴夫-魏格爾（Dave Weigel）之間的小便池邊的風險出席？

Just get me up to speed.

讓我儘快適應。

Are you an incoming or outgoing cabinet member?

您是新任內閣成員還是離任內閣成員？

I'm actually Margaret Tolive, the president of the White House Cora Spondent's Association.

其實我是瑪格麗特-托里夫 白宮科拉-斯邦德協會主席

I just wanted to see if you'd made a decision on attending our annual dinner.

我只是想看看你是否決定參加我們的年度晚宴。

I'd look pretty thin-skinned if I didn't show up.

如果我不來，就會顯得臉皮薄。

So I'm in, but only under the following conditions.

所以我加入，但必須滿足以下條件。

Someone tranquilizes Jim Acosta, I get two scoops of ice cream big enough to bend a shovel, and I can use Jeff Bezos as my napkin.

有人能讓吉姆-阿科斯塔鎮定下來，我就能吃到兩勺大得能壓彎鐵鍬的冰淇淋，我還能用傑夫-貝索斯當餐巾紙。

President Trump will attend the White House Cora Spondent's Dinner.

特朗普總統將出席白宮科拉-斯邦登晚宴。

Breaking Fox News alert.

福克斯新聞突發警報。

We can confirm that Chris Hayes stole his glasses from a child on a teeter-totter.

我們可以證實，克里斯-海耶斯從一個蹺蹺板上的孩子那裡偷了他的眼鏡。

Can you believe the lying fake media invited me again to the White House Cora Spondent's Dinner?

你能相信撒謊的假媒體再次邀請我參加白宮科拉-斯邦德晚宴嗎？

I mean, you don't see the Central Park Five inviting me to brunch.

我是說，中央公園五人組可不會邀請我去吃早午餐。

Sir, are you sure you don't want me to go in your place?

先生，你確定不要我代替你去嗎？

The press corps loves me and my Reese Witherspoon-like Southern charm.

記者團喜歡我和我的瑞茜-威瑟斯彭式的南方魅力。

Of course I'm going.

我當然要去。

What am I going to do?

我該怎麼辦？

Hold a rally to harden my ego before I watch it the moment I step off stage?

在我走下舞臺的那一刻，舉行一次集會來磨礪我的自尊心？

That's great to hear, sir, and I'd be honored if you wore my clothes.

很高興聽到你這麼說，先生，如果你能穿我的衣服，我會很榮幸的。

Is Shepard Smith gonna be there?

謝帕德-史密斯會來嗎？

I can't believe some lucky lady hasn't snatched him up.

真不敢相信還沒被哪位幸運的女士搶走。

To truly understand the White House Cora Spondent's Dinner, you have to understand where the journalists in attendance sit.

要想真正瞭解白宮科拉-斯邦德晚宴，就必須瞭解出席晚宴的記者所處的位置。

Tables.

桌子

Tables didn't always look like this.

桌子並不總是這樣的。

Here's a table from 1415 BC.

這是一張公元前 1415 年的表格。

Scythia, I think.

我想是西徐亞。

Looks similar to what we use today.

看起來與我們現在使用的類似。

Flat top, leggy things down there.

扁平的頂部，下面是長腿的東西。

We'll get deeper into tables later.

稍後我們將深入討論表格。

First, let's talk about what made them possible.

首先，讓我們來談談是什麼讓它們成為可能。

The Big Bang.

大爆炸

Welcome to the White House Cora Spondent's Dinner.

歡迎參加白宮科拉-斯邦德晚宴。

Hey, it's Donald J.

嘿，是唐納德

Trump.

特朗普

Or as you all know me, a source close to the president.

你們都知道我是總統身邊的線人

A lot of people complain that Washington is just a bunch of white guys talking to an audience who agrees with them.

很多人抱怨，華盛頓只是一群白人在對那些同意他們觀點的聽眾說話。

But I like Pod Save America.

但我喜歡《花苞拯救美國》。

Now where's the Sinclair media table?

辛克萊媒體桌在哪裡？

Right here, Almighty Trump.

就在這裡，全能的特朗普。

The Tribune merger's going through.

論壇報》的合併正在進行中。

But tonight, we're really here to honor some great people.

但今晚，我們是來向一些偉大的人物致敬的。

For example, Maggie Haberman.

例如，瑪吉-哈伯曼。

Remember that lunch at the Trump Grill?

還記得在特朗普烤肉店的那頓午餐嗎？

You got the scoop on my presidential bid.

你得到了我競選總統的獨家新聞。

And I got the bacon cheeseburger and licked the ketchup lid.

我買了培根芝士漢堡，還舔了舔番茄醬蓋子。

When did we go wrong?

我們什麼時候出錯了？

Was it when I called you a Hillary funky?

是我叫你 "希拉里時髦 "的時候嗎？

You don't pay a loan.

你不用還貸款。

Stop pretending your paper is integrity.

別再假裝你的論文是正直的了。

You work with Bret Stephens.

你與佈雷特-斯蒂芬斯共事。

Work with Bret Stephens.

與佈雷特-斯蒂芬斯合作。

There's only so much a Rasmussen ball can do.

拉斯穆森球能做的只有這麼多。

Where did we go wrong?

我們錯在哪裡？

I've already lost, kill me, and I can't lose you.

我已經輸了，殺了我吧，我不能失去你。

When did we go wrong?

我們什麼時候出錯了？

Maggie, Maggie, Maggie, Maggie, Maggie, Maggie, Maggie, Maggie Haberman.

瑪吉，瑪吉，瑪吉，瑪吉，瑪吉，瑪吉，瑪吉，瑪吉-哈伯曼。

You don't pay a loan.

你不用還貸款。

Congratulations to tonight's honorees.

祝賀今晚的獲獎者。

I look forward to locking you all up in the coming years.

我期待著在未來的歲月裡，與大家一起鎖定目標。