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Happy Thursday!
快樂星期四
Happy throwback Thursday to all of you watching.
祝所有觀眾「懷舊星期四」快樂。
If you're watching this on Friday, happy flashback Friday.
如果你是在星期五看這個節目,那就祝你 「夢迴星期五」快樂。
If you're watching this on Saturday, happy say it was a long time ago Saturday.
如果你是在週六看這個節目,很高興告訴你「那是很久以前週六」了。
If you're watching this on Sunday, then you you need to watch videos more often because you're late.
如果你在週日看這個,那麼你需要多看點影片,因為你遲到了。
Anyway, this right now is from my comedy special called I'm Not Fat I'm Fluffy from the year 2009, okay?
總之,這是我 2009 年的喜劇特輯《我不胖,我很蓬鬆》,好嗎?
It was 2009, a long time ago, but the hair was on my head, not on my face.
那是 2009 年,很久以前的事了,但頭髮是長在頭上,而不是長在臉上。
Yeah, it speaks for itself.
是啊,不言自明的事。
Enjoy, and if for some reason the video bothers you, that is unfortunate.
請盡情欣賞,如果因為某種原因這部影片讓你感到不適,那就太遺憾了。
Okay, there, I said it.
好了,我說出來了。
Bye!
再見!
A lot has changed, El Paso, a lot has changed.
很多都變了,埃爾帕索,很多都變了。
One thing's for sure, I'm still the fluffy guy.
但可以肯定的是,我依然是那個蓬鬆的傢伙。
And I say fluffy because that is the politically correct term.
我說 "蓬鬆 "是因為這是政治正確的說法。
For those of you that don't remember, I used to say that there were five levels of fatness.
對於那些不記得的人,我曾經說過,胖有五個等級。
Reason why I say used to say is because now there are six.
之所以說 「曾經」,是因為現在有六個。
Uh-huh, I met the new one in Las Cruces.
嗯哼,我就在拉斯克魯塞斯見過一個新等級。
The original five levels are big, healthy, husky, fluffy, and damn!
最初的五個級別分別是高大、健康、健壯、蓬鬆和該死!
People ask, what could be bigger than damn?
人們會問,有什麼能比「該死!」更大呢?
The new level's called, oh hell no!
新等級叫做 "哦,見鬼了"!
What's the difference?
有什麼區別?
You're still willing to work with level five.
你還是願意和5等的合作。
Example, if you're on an elevator and you're with your friend, and this really big guy gets on, and you and your friend look at each other, and you're like, damn!
舉個例子,如果你和你的朋友在電梯裡,有個大塊頭上了電梯,你和你的朋友面面相覷,你就會:「該死的!」
But you still let the big guy ride your elevator.
但你還是會讓這個大傢伙上電梯。
That's the difference.
這就是區別。
Level six, you see walking towards your elevator.
第六階呢,你看到他正走向你的電梯。
Oh hell no!
「哦,見鬼!」
That's the difference.
這就是區別。
The guy that I met was six foot eight, 614 pounds.
我遇到的那個人身高 6 英尺 8英寸,體重 614 磅。
Uh-huh, oh hell no!
啊哈,「哦,見鬼!」
And he was offended at my show.
而我的表演還冒犯到他了。
Not by anything that I said, but because of the fact that now at the shows, I started selling t-shirts.
不是因為我說了什麼,而是因為我現在會在演出時開始賣 T 恤了。
And apparently, I didn't have his size.
顯然,我沒有他的尺寸。
Keep in mind, I go all the way up to 5x on the t-shirts.
請記住,我在 T 恤衫上一直做到 5 XL。
And he was like, you don't have my size.
他就說,你沒有我的尺碼。
I was like, dude, I didn't know they made you.
我當時想,老兄,我不知道他們怎麼生的你。
I have up to 5x.
我最多甚至到 5 XL。
I don't have x.
我沒有(吼叫) X。
It's a picture of a dinosaur on the back of the tag, you know?
標籤背面還是恐龍的照片,你們懂嗎?
And by the way, you guys, I want to let you know now, here in this theater and all over the world, wherever you, anybody's watching this special, if you ever see me in public, either at a restaurant or at a hotel or anywhere, and you want to stop me and say hello or take a picture or anything, please.
順便說一句,各位,我想讓你們知道,在這個劇院裡,在世界各地,無論你在哪裡,無論任何人在看這個特別節目,如果你在公共場合看到我,無論是在餐廳、酒店還是任何地方,如果你想攔住我,跟我打個招呼或者拍張照片什麼的,都可以。
I welcome it, and it's an honor if you were to do that.
我很歡迎,如果你能這樣做,那是我的榮幸。
I do not mind at all.
我一點也不介意。
Stop me anytime you want.
隨時都可以攔住我
I'm the same person.
我還是那個我。
The same guy.
同一個人
Thank you.
謝謝。
Seriously, the same guy you see now is the same guy you'd see outside.
說真的,你現在看到的這個人,就是你在外面看到的那個人。
I don't change, you know?
我不會改變,你知道嗎?
You're not going to walk up and go, Gabriel, can I talk to you?
你不會走過來說:"加百列,我能和你談談嗎?
I'm not going to be like, be gone from me.
我不會這樣:「給我走開!」
Gabriel is my stage name.
加百列是我的藝名。
I'm not even Mexican.
我甚至不是墨西哥人。
I'm Scandinavian.
我是斯堪地納維亞人。
No, trust me.
不,相信我。
I'm the same pendejo you'll see outside.
我就是你在外面看到的那個「小混帳」。
I don't mind.
我不介意。
I love you guys.
我愛你們
Trust me.
相信我
You guys make it possible for me to have an incredible life and take care of my family, so I'm all for it.
你們讓我能過上精彩的生活,照顧我的家人,所以我非常歡迎。
Not a problem.
這都不是問題。
Trust me.
相信我
Right now, it's so crazy because I'm still adjusting to people walking up to me.
但現在,這太瘋狂了,因為我還在適應人們來跟我搭話。
I'm checking into the hotel, and they already knew me, which was crazy.
我準備進駐酒店時,他們早已經認識我了,這太瘋狂了。
I go like, hi, I'm checking in.
我就說,嗨,我要報到。
Here's your key, sir.
這是你的鑰匙,先生。
We know it's you, sir.
我們知道是你,先生。