Woo!

Woo！

Thanks.

謝謝。

Hi, um, I want to start with a song that's about that moment when you suddenly realize what life is really all about.

嗨，嗯，我想先從一首歌開始，這首歌講述的是當你突然意識到人生真諦的那一刻。

Okay, here we go.

好了，我們開始吧。

Okay, thank you very much.

好的，非常感謝。

New York City has no power And the milk is getting sour But to me it is not scary Cause I stay away from dairy La la la la la la la la la You know what I just realized?

紐約市停電了，牛奶也變酸了，但對我來說這並不可怕，因為我遠離奶製品啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦，你知道我剛意識到什麼嗎？

Joker is poker with a J.

小丑是帶 J 的撲克。

Coincidence?

巧合？

Hey, that's, that's Joe Incidence with a C.

嘿，那是，那是帶 C 的 Joe Incidence。

My tinfoil hat?

我的錫箔帽？

No, cause you need that.

不，因為你需要它。

No, it's okay, thanks.

不用了，謝謝

Please, let me do something.

求你了，讓我做點什麼吧

Okay, alright, I'll tell you what, you buy me a soda and then we're even.

好吧 好吧 這樣吧 你請我喝汽水 我們就扯平了

Keep the change.

不用找了

Thanks, Lucy.

謝謝你，露西。

Sure you don't want a pretzel?

你確定不要椒鹽捲餅？

No, I'm fine, thanks.

不，我很好，謝謝。

See ya.

再見

Huh.

咦？

A thumb?

拇指？

Ew.

Ew.

I know, I know, I opened it up and there it was just floating in there like this tiny little hitchhiker.

我知道，我知道，我把它打開了，它就在裡面飄著，就像這個小小的 "搭便車者"。

Well, maybe it's a contest, you know, like collect all five.

好吧，也許這是個比賽，你知道的，比如集齊五個。

How did we end up with these jerks?

我們怎麼會和這些混蛋在一起？

We're good people.

我們是好人

I don't know, I think we're like some kind of magnets.

我不知道，我覺得我們就像某種磁鐵。

I know I am, that's why I can't wear a digital watch.

我知道我是這樣，所以我不能戴電子錶。

There's more beer, right?

還有更多啤酒，對吧？

Oh, you know my friend Abby who shaves her head?

哦，你知道我那個剃光頭的朋友艾比嗎？

She says that if you want to break the bad boyfriend cycle, you can do like a cleansing ritual.

她說，如果你想打破壞男友的循環，你可以做一個淨化儀式。

Pheebs, this woman is voluntarily bald.

菲比，這個女人是自願禿頭的。

Yeah.

是啊

So, we can do it tomorrow night, you guys.

所以，我們可以明晚再做，夥計們。

It's Valentine's Day, it's perfect.

今天是情人節，太完美了。

Okay, well, what kind of ritual?

好吧，什麼樣的儀式？

Okay, we can, um, we can burn the stuff they gave us.

好吧，我們可以，嗯，我們可以燒掉他們給我們的東西。

Or?

還是？

Or.

或者

Or, we can chant and dance around naked, you know, with sticks.

或者，我們可以光著身子，拿著棍子吟唱和跳舞。

Burning's good.

燒得好

Burning's good.

燒得好

Yeah, I did stuff to burn.

是的，我做了一些燒掉的東西。

Okay, so now we need sage branches and the sacramental wine.

好了，現在我們需要鼠尾草枝和聖酒。

All I had is oregano and a fresca.

我只有牛至和弗雷斯卡。

Um, that's okay.

沒關係

Okay.

好的

Okay.

好的

All right, now we need the semen of a righteous man.

好了，現在我們需要一個正義之士的精液。

Okay, Pheebs, you know what?

好吧，菲比，你知道嗎？

If we had that, we wouldn't be doing the ritual in the first place.

如果有了這些，我們一開始就不會舉行儀式了。

Can we just start throwing things in?

我們可以開始扔東西了嗎？

Um, yeah, okay.

嗯，是的，好吧。

Oh.

哦。

Okay.

好的

Um.

嗯。

Okay, Barry's letters.

好了 巴里的信

Adam Ritter's boxer shorts.

亞當-裡特的拳擊短褲

And I have the receipt for my dinner with...

我還有和......

Hey, look, there's a picture of Scotty Jared naked.

嘿，看，這有張斯科蒂-賈裡德的裸照。

Oh, let me see.

讓我看看

He's wearing a sweater.

他穿著一件毛衣。

No.

不

Ew!

Ew！

Okay.

好的

And here we have the last of Paolo's grappa.

這是保羅最後的格拉巴酒。

Wait, wait, Rachel, isn't it almost pure...

等等，等等，瑞秋，這不是幾乎純粹......

Ah!

啊！

What do we got there?

有什麼發現？

Yeah, a piece of silk.

是的，一塊絲綢。

Boxer shorts.

拳擊短褲

Some greeting cards.

一些賀卡

Looks like a half-charred picture of...

看起來就像一張半焦的...

Wow, that guy's hairier than the chief.

哇，那傢伙的頭髮比酋長還多。

You know, it's a really funny story on his outfit.

你知道嗎，關於他的裝備，這真是個有趣的故事。

It's all right, it's all right.

沒事的，沒事的。

You don't have to explain.

你不必解釋。

This isn't the first boyfriend bonfire that we've seen get out of control.

這已經不是我們看到的第一場失控的男友篝火晚會了。

You're our third call tonight.

你是我們今晚的第三個電話

Really?

真的嗎？

Oh, sure.

哦，當然。

Valentine's is our busiest night of the year.

情人節是我們一年中最繁忙的夜晚。

Well, we get off around midnight.

我們午夜左右下班

Why don't we pick you up then?

我們為什麼不來接你？

Okay.

好的

Great.

好極了

So, what are we doing?

那麼，我們在做什麼呢？

Well, um...

嗯...

Will you bring the truck?

你會把卡車開來嗎？

I'll even let you ring the bell.

我甚至可以讓你搖鈴。

See you later.

再見

Bye. See you later.

再見 再見

Oh, my God.

我的天啊

See?

看到了嗎？

There you go.

這就對了。

Cleansing works.

清潔很有效

You're right.

你說得對。

Nice guy.

人不錯

Oh, they're fireman guys.

哦，他們是消防員

You guys tell them you're married?

你們告訴他們你們結婚了？

No way.

不可能

You're kidding?

你在開玩笑？

My girlfriend doesn't know.

我女朋友不知道。

I'm not going to tell them.

我不會告訴他們的。

Chandler's coming.

錢德來了

And he says he has, like, this incredible news.

他說他有個難以置信的消息

So, when he gets here, let's all act like, you know...

所以，當他來到這裡，讓我們都像，你知道...

Hey.

嘿。

Hey.

嘿。

Never mind.

沒關係。

But it was going to be really good.

但它真的會很棒。

What's going on?

怎麼了？

All right.

好吧

What'd you do with him?

你對他做了什麼？

You're awake.

你醒了

Look at you.

看看你

How do you feel?

你感覺如何？

Uh, a little woozy, but basically okay.

呃，有點頭暈，但基本上還好。

Gosh, you look good.

天哪，你看起來真不錯。

I feel good.

我感覺很好。

Who are you?

你是誰？

Oh, sorry.

哦，對不起。

I'm Phoebe Buffay.

我是菲比-巴菲

I'm Monica Geller.

我是莫妮卡-蓋勒

I've been taking care of you.

我一直在照顧你

Well, we both have.

我們都是

So, the Etch-A-Sketch is from you guys?

那麼，Etch-A-Sketch 是你們送的嗎？

Well, actually, it's just from me.

其實，這只是我自己說的。

Yeah, I got you the foot massager.

我給你買了腳底按摩器

You know who shaved you?

你知道是誰給你刮鬍子的嗎？

That was me.

這就是我。

I read to you.

我讀給你聽。

I sang.

我唱道

Ha!

哈

Well, thanks.

謝謝

Oh, my pleasure.

我的榮幸

You're welcome.

不客氣。

So, I guess I'll see you around.

那麼，我想我們會再見面的。

What?

什麼？

That's it?

就這樣？

See you around?

回頭見？

Well, what do you want me to say?

你想讓我說什麼？

Oh, I don't know.

哦，我不知道。

Maybe, uh, that was nice.

也許，呃，那很好。

Admit something to me.

向我承認一件事

I'll call you.

我會給你打電話的

All right, I'll call you.

好吧，我會打電話給你。

I don't think you mean that.

我覺得你不是這個意思。

This is so typical.

這太典型了。

You know, we give, and we give, and we give, and then we just get nothing back.

你知道，我們付出、付出、再付出，卻得不到任何回報。

And then one day, it's just, you know, you wake up and see you around.

然後有一天，你一覺醒來，發現你就在身邊。

Let's go, Phoebe.

走吧，菲比

You know what?

你知道嗎？

We thought you were different, but I guess it was just the coma.

我們以為你變了，但我猜只是昏迷的緣故。

Oh, God, you should have seen him.

哦，天哪，你真該看看他。

Read him and weep.

讀他，流淚。

And then he did.

然後他做到了。

Well, now, how come you guys have never played poker with us?

你們怎麼從來沒和我們玩過撲克呢？

Yeah, what is that?

是啊，那是什麼？

Like some kind of guy thing?

像某種男人的東西？

Like some kind of sexist guy thing?

就像某種性別歧視的男人行為？

Like, it's poker, so only guys can play.

比如，這是撲克，所以只有男人才能玩。

No, women are welcome to play.

不，歡迎女性參加比賽。

Oh, okay, so then what is it?

哦，好吧，那是什麼呢？

Some kind of, you know, like, like some kind of, you know, like...

某種，你知道的，像，像某種，你知道的，像...

What is it?

是什麼？

There just don't happen to be any women in our game.

只是我們的遊戲裡沒有女性。

Yeah, we just don't happen to know any women that know how to play poker.

是啊，我們只是碰巧不認識會玩撲克牌的女人。

Oh, please, that is such a lame excuse.

哦，拜託，這真是個蹩腳的藉口。

I mean, it's a typical guy response.

我是說，這是典型的男人反應。

Excuse me, do any of you know how to play?

請問，你們有人會彈琴嗎？

No.

不

Huh?

啊？

Wow, it's huge!

哇，好大啊

So much bigger than the cubicle.

比隔間大得多

Oh, this is a cube.

哦，這是一個立方體。

Look at this.

看看這個。

You have a window!

你有一扇窗

Yes, indeedy.

是的，沒錯。

With a beautiful view of...

這裡有美麗的...

Oh, look, that guy's peeing.

哦，看，那傢伙在撒尿。

Okay, that's enough of the view.

好了，風景看夠了。

All right, check this out, look at this.

好了，看看這個，看看這個。

Okay, sit down here, sit down.

好吧，坐在這裡，坐下。

Okay.

好的

Okay, this is great, this is great.

好吧，這很好，這很好。

Helen, could you come in here for a moment?

海倫，你能進來一下嗎？

Thank you, Helen, that'll be all.

謝謝你，海倫，就這樣吧。

Last time I do that, I promise.

這是我最後一次這麼做，我保證。

I need some milk.

我需要一些牛奶。

Okay, I've got milk.

好的，我有牛奶

Here you go.

給你

Oh.

哦。

Better?

好點了嗎？

No.

不

Oh, I feel so stupid!

哦，我覺得自己好蠢！

Oh, I think about the other day with you guys, you know, and I was all, oh, Paolo, he's so great, he makes me feel so...

哦，我想起前幾天和你們在一起的時候，我就在想，哦，保羅，他太棒了，他讓我感覺...

Oh, God!

哦，上帝啊

I'm so embarrassed.

我好尷尬。

Oh, I'm so embarrassed.

哦，我真不好意思。

I'm the one he hit on.

我才是他搭訕的對象

Oh, baby, I unleashed him on you.

哦，寶貝，我把他釋放給你了。

If I had never met him, this would have never happened to you.

如果我沒見過他，你就不會遇到這種事。

I'm so sorry.

真對不起

Don't feed me, I'm sorry.

別餵我，對不起。

No, I'm sorry.

不，對不起。

Oh, wait, oh.

哦，等等，哦。

What are we sorry about?

我們遺憾什麼？

I don't know.

我不知道。

Right.

對

He's the pig.

他是豬

Such a pig.

這樣的豬

Oh, God, he's such a pig.

哦，天哪，他真是個豬頭。

He's like a big, disgusting pig.

他就像一頭噁心的大豬。

Pig man.

豬人

Yes, good, okay.

是的，很好

Oh, but he was my pig man.

哦，但他是我的豬男人。

How did I not see this?

我怎麼沒看出來？

Oh, I know!

哦，我知道！

Because he's gorgeous.

因為他太帥了

And he's charming.

他很迷人

And when he looks at Fiona...

當他看著菲奧娜時

Okay, okay.

好吧 好吧

The end.

結束。

Oh, God.

哦，上帝啊

Should I not have told you?

我不該告訴你嗎？

No.

不

No, trust me, it's much better that I know.

不，相信我，我知道會更好。

I just liked it better before it was better.

我只是喜歡它更好之前的樣子。

Hi, guys.

你們好

Hey, baby.

嘿，寶貝

Hey, how did it go?

嘿，進展如何？

Um, not so good.

嗯，不太好。

He walked me to the subway and said, we should do this again.

他送我到地鐵站，說我們應該再來一次。

Oh.

哦。

What?

什麼？

He said we should do it again.

他說我們應該再來一次。

That's good, right?

這很好，對嗎？

Uh, no.

沒有

Loosely translated, we should do this again means, you will never see me naked.

我們應該再來一次的意思是，你永遠不會看到我的裸體。

Oh.

哦。

Since when?

什麼時候開始的？

Since always.

自始至終

It's like dating language.

這就像約會語言。

You know, like, it's not you means, it is you.

你知道，這不是你的意思，而是你的意思。

Or you're such a nice guy means, I'm gonna be dating leather-wearing alcoholics and complaining about them to you.

或者說你是個好人的意思是，我會和穿皮衣的酒鬼約會，然後向你抱怨他們。

Or, or, or, you know, I think we should see other people means.

或者，或者，或者，你知道，我想我們應該看看其他人的意思。

I already am.

我已經是了。

Hey, Pheebs, guess who we saw today?

嘿，菲比，猜猜我們今天看到誰了？

Oh, oh, fun, okay.

哦，哦，好玩，好吧

Uh, Liam Neeson.

連姆-尼森

No.

不

Marley Safer.

馬利-賽弗

No.

不

The woman who cuts my hair.

給我理髮的女人

No.

不

Okay, look, this could be a really long game.

好吧，聽著，這可能是一個很長的遊戲。

Your sister, Ursula.

你姐姐 厄休拉

Oh, really?

哦，真的嗎？

Yeah, yeah, she works over at that place, uh...

是的，是的，她在那個地方工作，呃...

Riffs, yeah, I know.

是的，我知道。

Oh, you do?

哦，是嗎？

Because she said you guys haven't talked in, like, years.

因為她說你們好像好幾年沒說話了

Mm-hmm, yeah.

是的

So, um, is she fat?

那麼，她胖嗎？

Not from where I was standing.

從我所站的位置看不是。

Where were you standing?

你當時站在哪裡？

Um, Pheebs, so you, you guys just don't get along?

嗯，菲比，你們倆合不來？

It's mostly just dumb sister stuff, you know, I mean, like, everyone always thought of her as the pretty one, you know, and...

大部分都是愚蠢的姐姐的事情，你知道，我的意思是，就像，每個人都認為她是漂亮的，你知道，和...