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  • Ah, ah, ah, ah!

    啊,啊,啊,啊!

  • We love Halloween.

    我們喜歡萬聖節。

  • You've got a problem, lady.

    你有麻煩了,女士

  • This obsessive need to be dark and scary, you can't even stop yourself.

    這種對黑暗和恐怖的強迫性需求,你甚至無法阻止自己。

  • Ah!

    啊!

  • Hi, honey.

    嗨,親愛的

  • Breakfast will be ready in a minute.

    早餐馬上就好

  • Ah!

    啊!

  • My hand!

    我的手

  • Ah!

    啊!

  • Very funny, Mom.

    非常有趣,媽媽。

  • I know it's Halloween.

    我知道今天是萬聖節。

  • Nice fake hand.

    漂亮的假手

  • Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah!

    啊,啊,啊,啊,啊!

  • Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah!

    啊,啊,啊,啊,啊!

  • We love Halloween, especially Claire.

    我們喜歡萬聖節,尤其是克萊爾。

  • It's my favorite holiday.

    這是我最喜歡的節日。

  • Ever since I was a kid, I loved scary things.

    我從小就喜歡恐怖的東西。

  • If there was a new horror movie in town,

    如果城裡有一部新的恐怖電影、

  • I was the first in line.

    我是第一個排隊的。

  • One, please.

    請來一杯

  • And I meant Phil.

    我指的是菲爾。

  • Two, please.

    請來兩杯

  • Every Halloween, we have the best house.

    每年萬聖節,我們的房子都是最棒的。

  • Last year, I took things to a whole new level, but apparently it was too scary for some kids.

    去年,我把事情推向了一個全新的高度,但顯然這對一些孩子來說太可怕了。

  • And one adult.

    還有一個成年人。

  • Ah!

    啊!

  • Trick or treat!

    不給糖就搗蛋

  • Would you like some candy?

    想吃糖嗎?

  • Yeah!

    是啊

  • Or would you rather have this?

    還是你更喜歡這個?

  • Ah!

    啊!

  • Ah!

    啊!

  • Ah!

    啊!

  • Ah!

    啊!

  • Ah!

    啊!

  • Ah!

    啊!

  • Ah!

    啊!

  • Ah!

    啊!

  • Ah!

    啊!

  • Ah!

    啊!

  • Ah!

    啊!

  • Ah!

    啊!

  • Ah!

    啊!

  • Ah!

    啊!

  • Come on, you're fine.

    來吧,你很好。

  • I don't care what anyone says, you did not give that man a heart attack.

    我不管別人怎麼說,你沒有讓那個人心臟病發作。

  • Thank you.

    謝謝。

  • I mean, you're not even scary.

    我是說,你一點都不可怕。

  • Can I grab a little bit of this candy for my open house tonight?

    我能為今晚的開放日帶一點這種糖果嗎?

  • Yeah, sure, but.

    是的,當然,但是

  • It's genius.

    真是天才。

  • An open house on Halloween.

    萬聖節開放日

  • Millions of bored parents just trying to keep their kids out of traffic now they can get away from all that and see a nice house.

    數百萬無聊的父母只是想讓他們的孩子遠離交通堵塞,現在他們可以遠離這一切,看看漂亮的房子。

  • What do you mean I'm not even scary?

    你說我一點都不可怕是什麼意思?

  • I literally almost scared the life out of a man.

    我真的差點嚇死一個人。

  • You literally scared a little saliva and a little urine out of him.

    你真的把他嚇出了一點口水和一點尿。

  • That happens to me every time I see a monkey wearing people clothes.

    我每次看到猴子穿人的衣服都會這樣。

  • I was plenty scary.

    我很可怕

  • I used professional grade makeup.

    我使用了專業級化妝品。

  • That's the point.

    這就是重點。

  • Claire, it was overkill.

    克萊爾,這是矯枉過正。

  • You're the kind of person who can be twice as scary without wearing any makeup.

    你是那種不化妝也能加倍嚇人的人。

  • Bye.

    再見。

  • Oh, no, no.

    哦,不,不

  • This doesn't look real at all.

    這看起來一點都不真實。

  • Alex, where's that blood you were using this morning on your finger?

    阿歷克斯,你今天早上用在手指上的血呢?

  • Running through my veins, keeping me alive.

    流淌在我的血管裡,讓我活下去。

  • Oh, here comes dad.

    爸爸來了

  • He's going to be all like, no, what did you do?

    他會說,不,你做了什麼?

  • Where's Awesome Land?

    真棒樂園在哪裡?

  • No, what did you do?

    不,你做了什麼?

  • Where's Awesome Land?

    真棒樂園在哪裡?

  • Are you from the future?

    你來自未來嗎?

  • Phil, honey, honey, we've had a little change of plans.

    菲爾,親愛的,親愛的,我們的計劃有點變化。

  • Why? What are you even doing here?

    為什麼?你在這裡做什麼?

  • Shouldn't you be at work?

    你不是應該在工作嗎?

  • That obnoxious Ronnie was worried that I wouldn't be able to handle his decorations because he's trying to win this scariest house on the street contest.

    那個討人厭的羅尼擔心我搞不定他的裝飾,因為他想贏得這條街上最恐怖房子的比賽。

  • And I was like, not only can I handle your decorations,

    我當時想,我不僅能處理你的裝飾、

  • I'm going to win that contest.

    我會贏得比賽的。

  • So welcome to the insane asylum from hell.

    歡迎來到地獄瘋人院。

  • That's what it feels like.

    就是這種感覺。

  • Come on, it's going to be fun.

    來吧,會很有趣的。

  • The kids are going to be deranged mental patients.

    孩子們會成為精神錯亂的精神病人。

  • And I am going to be a sadistic nurse, and you are a demented doctor.

    我將是一個虐待狂護士,而你是一個痴呆醫生。

  • 20 years of no, but for this, you'll dress like a nurse.

    20年沒有,但為了這個,你要穿得像個護士。

  • Oh, no.

    哦,不

  • Of course the woman is the nurse and the man is the doctor.

    當然,女人是護士,男人是醫生。

  • That kind of thinking, that's what's scary.

    這種想法才是最可怕的。

  • Tap out, it's a holiday.

    輕點,今天是節日。

  • You know, I put a lot of time and energy into my thing.

    你知道,我在我的事情上投入了大量的時間和精力。

  • But you just shut it all down to prove something to people that we barely know and don't even like.

    但你卻為了向我們幾乎不認識、甚至不喜歡的人證明什麼,而把一切都關閉了。

  • Phil, Ronnie made fun of Awesome Land.

    菲爾,羅尼取笑了 "真棒樂園"。

  • He called it Candy Land.

    他稱之為 "糖果樂園"。

  • So?

    所以呢?

  • Stupidville.

    愚蠢小鎮

  • Dumberg.

    Dumberg.

  • Who cares what he thinks?

    誰在乎他怎麼想?

  • Maybe someday you'll care what I think.

    也許有一天你會在意我的想法。

  • Phil.

    菲爾

  • Well, honey, look.

    親愛的,你看

  • I kept your bunny.

    我留下了你的小兔子

  • Nibbles!

    零食

  • Monster, do my bidding.

    怪物,聽我命令

  • I do as you command, master.

    遵命,主人

  • OK, Mom, you cannot have a problem with this.

    好了,媽媽,你不能有意見。

  • I'm Mother Teresa.

    我是特蕾莎修女

  • Are you kidding me?

    你在開玩笑嗎?

  • What?

    什麼?

  • I'm her back when she was hot.

    我是她,當她炙手可熱的時候。

  • I will pay you $10 to go put on more clothes.

    我給你 10 美元,讓你去多穿點衣服。

  • But it's the first time you ever heard that one.

    但這是你第一次聽到這句話。

  • OK, you know what?

    好吧,你知道嗎?

  • Here we go.

    開始了

  • Let's just cover you up.

    把你蓋起來吧

  • All right, now I just want to run through this really quick with everybody.

    好了,現在我只想和大家快速討論一下這個問題。

  • First, it's trick or treat.

    首先是不給糖就搗蛋。

  • And then Phil.

    然後是菲爾

  • Come in if you dare.

    有膽就進來吧

  • Right, and then Dad does the thunder and the lightning and the fog.

    沒錯,然後爸爸會打雷、閃電、起霧。

  • Usher the children in past Alex and her cage.

    把孩子們領進亞歷克斯和她的籠子。

  • I'm in a cage?

    我被關在籠子裡?

  • Yes, you're in a house of horrors being held against your will.

    是的,你被關在一間恐怖的房子裡,而且是在違揹你意願的情況下。

  • Yeah, I know.

    是的,我知道。

  • So why do we need the cage?

    那麼,我們為什麼需要籠子呢?

  • And then Gloria pops up as the evil village brouhaha.

    然後,格洛麗亞作為邪惡村莊的喧鬧者出現了。

  • And she says, welcome to your nightmare.

    她說,歡迎來到你的噩夢。

  • And then Cam and Haley do their thing.

    然後,卡姆和海莉就各顯神通了。

  • Kids get their candy.

    孩子們拿到糖果

  • They are ushered out.

    他們被迎了出來。

  • They think it's all over, but it's not.

    他們以為一切都結束了,但事實並非如此。

  • Because out on the porch, the scarecrow pops to life.

    因為在門廊上,稻草人突然復活了。

  • Pow for one final.

    Pow for one final.

  • And that's Mitchell.

    這就是米切爾。

  • You're the scarecrow.

    你是稻草人

  • Oh, no, no.

    哦,不,不

  • I was in a costume all day.

    我整天都穿著戲服。

  • It was awful.

    太可怕了

  • It's nothing compared to when I was.

    和我以前相比,這根本不算什麼。

  • You don't own bad Halloweens.

    糟糕的萬聖節不屬於你。

  • Don't I?

    難道不是嗎?

  • We get it, Cam.

    我們明白 卡姆

  • Hard day.

    艱難的一天

  • Mitchell, please.

    請接米切爾

  • The costume's in the kitchen.

    服裝在廚房裡

  • Come on, hon.

    來吧,親愛的

  • All right, come here.

    好了,過來

  • Before you go, I just want you to know, I love you more.

    在你走之前,我只想告訴你,我愛你更深。

  • That's, OK, thanks, hon.

    好的 謝謝 親愛的

  • You're my best friend.

    你是我最好的朋友

  • You really think it's appropriate to be strapping your teenage daughter to a gurney?

    你真的認為把你十幾歲的女兒綁在輪床上合適嗎?

  • If we win, it is.

    如果我們贏了,那就是。

  • I'm going to have to take a pee break soon.

    我很快就要去小便了。

  • Ooh.

  • Here, use this bedpan.

    來,用這個便盆。

  • I'm kidding. That's gross.

    我開玩笑的。太噁心了

  • I put candy in it.

    我在裡面放了糖果。

  • Here.

    給你

  • Luke.

    盧克

  • Luke!

    盧克

  • I think I fell asleep.

    我想我睡著了。

  • This thing is like a Temple Grandin hug.

    這東西就像坦普爾-葛蘭汀的擁抱。

  • Haley, sweetie, gown's on backwards.

    海莉,寶貝,禮服穿反了。

  • Oh, no, it's cuter this way.

    哦,不,這樣更可愛。

  • Sexy people go crazy, too, you know.

    性感的人也會瘋狂,你知道嗎?

  • Read a people magazine.

    閱讀人物雜誌

  • Huh.

    咦?

  • Phil, you're not even going to try on your doctor costume?

    菲爾,你都不打算試試你的醫生服裝嗎?