字幕列表 影片播放 由 AI 自動生成 列印所有字幕 列印翻譯字幕 列印英文字幕 Ah, ah, ah, ah! 啊,啊,啊,啊! We love Halloween. 我們喜歡萬聖節。 You've got a problem, lady. 你有麻煩了,女士 This obsessive need to be dark and scary, you can't even stop yourself. 這種對黑暗和恐怖的強迫性需求,你甚至無法阻止自己。 Ah! 啊! Hi, honey. 嗨,親愛的 Breakfast will be ready in a minute. 早餐馬上就好 Ah! 啊! My hand! 我的手 Ah! 啊! Very funny, Mom. 非常有趣,媽媽。 I know it's Halloween. 我知道今天是萬聖節。 Nice fake hand. 漂亮的假手 Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah! 啊,啊,啊,啊,啊! Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah! 啊,啊,啊,啊,啊! We love Halloween, especially Claire. 我們喜歡萬聖節,尤其是克萊爾。 It's my favorite holiday. 這是我最喜歡的節日。 Ever since I was a kid, I loved scary things. 我從小就喜歡恐怖的東西。 If there was a new horror movie in town, 如果城裡有一部新的恐怖電影、 I was the first in line. 我是第一個排隊的。 One, please. 請來一杯 And I meant Phil. 我指的是菲爾。 Two, please. 請來兩杯 Every Halloween, we have the best house. 每年萬聖節,我們的房子都是最棒的。 Last year, I took things to a whole new level, but apparently it was too scary for some kids. 去年,我把事情推向了一個全新的高度,但顯然這對一些孩子來說太可怕了。 And one adult. 還有一個成年人。 Ah! 啊! Trick or treat! 不給糖就搗蛋 Would you like some candy? 想吃糖嗎? Yeah! 是啊 Or would you rather have this? 還是你更喜歡這個? Ah! 啊! Ah! 啊! Ah! 啊! Ah! 啊! Ah! 啊! Ah! 啊! Ah! 啊! Ah! 啊! Ah! 啊! Ah! 啊! Ah! 啊! Ah! 啊! Ah! 啊! Ah! 啊! Come on, you're fine. 來吧,你很好。 I don't care what anyone says, you did not give that man a heart attack. 我不管別人怎麼說,你沒有讓那個人心臟病發作。 Thank you. 謝謝。 I mean, you're not even scary. 我是說,你一點都不可怕。 Can I grab a little bit of this candy for my open house tonight? 我能為今晚的開放日帶一點這種糖果嗎? Yeah, sure, but. 是的,當然,但是 It's genius. 真是天才。 An open house on Halloween. 萬聖節開放日 Millions of bored parents just trying to keep their kids out of traffic now they can get away from all that and see a nice house. 數百萬無聊的父母只是想讓他們的孩子遠離交通堵塞,現在他們可以遠離這一切,看看漂亮的房子。 What do you mean I'm not even scary? 你說我一點都不可怕是什麼意思? I literally almost scared the life out of a man. 我真的差點嚇死一個人。 You literally scared a little saliva and a little urine out of him. 你真的把他嚇出了一點口水和一點尿。 That happens to me every time I see a monkey wearing people clothes. 我每次看到猴子穿人的衣服都會這樣。 I was plenty scary. 我很可怕 I used professional grade makeup. 我使用了專業級化妝品。 That's the point. 這就是重點。 Claire, it was overkill. 克萊爾,這是矯枉過正。 You're the kind of person who can be twice as scary without wearing any makeup. 你是那種不化妝也能加倍嚇人的人。 Bye. 再見。 Oh, no, no. 哦,不,不 This doesn't look real at all. 這看起來一點都不真實。 Alex, where's that blood you were using this morning on your finger? 阿歷克斯,你今天早上用在手指上的血呢? Running through my veins, keeping me alive. 流淌在我的血管裡,讓我活下去。 Oh, here comes dad. 爸爸來了 He's going to be all like, no, what did you do? 他會說,不,你做了什麼? Where's Awesome Land? 真棒樂園在哪裡? No, what did you do? 不,你做了什麼? Where's Awesome Land? 真棒樂園在哪裡? Are you from the future? 你來自未來嗎? Phil, honey, honey, we've had a little change of plans. 菲爾,親愛的,親愛的,我們的計劃有點變化。 Why? What are you even doing here? 為什麼?你在這裡做什麼? Shouldn't you be at work? 你不是應該在工作嗎? That obnoxious Ronnie was worried that I wouldn't be able to handle his decorations because he's trying to win this scariest house on the street contest. 那個討人厭的羅尼擔心我搞不定他的裝飾,因為他想贏得這條街上最恐怖房子的比賽。 And I was like, not only can I handle your decorations, 我當時想,我不僅能處理你的裝飾、 I'm going to win that contest. 我會贏得比賽的。 So welcome to the insane asylum from hell. 歡迎來到地獄瘋人院。 That's what it feels like. 就是這種感覺。 Come on, it's going to be fun. 來吧,會很有趣的。 The kids are going to be deranged mental patients. 孩子們會成為精神錯亂的精神病人。 And I am going to be a sadistic nurse, and you are a demented doctor. 我將是一個虐待狂護士,而你是一個痴呆醫生。 20 years of no, but for this, you'll dress like a nurse. 20年沒有,但為了這個,你要穿得像個護士。 Oh, no. 哦,不 Of course the woman is the nurse and the man is the doctor. 當然,女人是護士,男人是醫生。 That kind of thinking, that's what's scary. 這種想法才是最可怕的。 Tap out, it's a holiday. 輕點,今天是節日。 You know, I put a lot of time and energy into my thing. 你知道,我在我的事情上投入了大量的時間和精力。 But you just shut it all down to prove something to people that we barely know and don't even like. 但你卻為了向我們幾乎不認識、甚至不喜歡的人證明什麼,而把一切都關閉了。 Phil, Ronnie made fun of Awesome Land. 菲爾,羅尼取笑了 "真棒樂園"。 He called it Candy Land. 他稱之為 "糖果樂園"。 So? 所以呢? Stupidville. 愚蠢小鎮 Dumberg. Dumberg. Who cares what he thinks? 誰在乎他怎麼想? Maybe someday you'll care what I think. 也許有一天你會在意我的想法。 Phil. 菲爾 Well, honey, look. 親愛的,你看 I kept your bunny. 我留下了你的小兔子 Nibbles! 零食 Monster, do my bidding. 怪物,聽我命令 I do as you command, master. 遵命,主人 OK, Mom, you cannot have a problem with this. 好了,媽媽,你不能有意見。 I'm Mother Teresa. 我是特蕾莎修女 Are you kidding me? 你在開玩笑嗎? What? 什麼? I'm her back when she was hot. 我是她,當她炙手可熱的時候。 I will pay you $10 to go put on more clothes. 我給你 10 美元,讓你去多穿點衣服。 But it's the first time you ever heard that one. 但這是你第一次聽到這句話。 OK, you know what? 好吧,你知道嗎? Here we go. 開始了 Let's just cover you up. 把你蓋起來吧 All right, now I just want to run through this really quick with everybody. 好了,現在我只想和大家快速討論一下這個問題。 First, it's trick or treat. 首先是不給糖就搗蛋。 And then Phil. 然後是菲爾 Come in if you dare. 有膽就進來吧 Right, and then Dad does the thunder and the lightning and the fog. 沒錯,然後爸爸會打雷、閃電、起霧。 Usher the children in past Alex and her cage. 把孩子們領進亞歷克斯和她的籠子。 I'm in a cage? 我被關在籠子裡? Yes, you're in a house of horrors being held against your will. 是的,你被關在一間恐怖的房子裡,而且是在違揹你意願的情況下。 Yeah, I know. 是的,我知道。 So why do we need the cage? 那麼,我們為什麼需要籠子呢? And then Gloria pops up as the evil village brouhaha. 然後,格洛麗亞作為邪惡村莊的喧鬧者出現了。 And she says, welcome to your nightmare. 她說,歡迎來到你的噩夢。 And then Cam and Haley do their thing. 然後,卡姆和海莉就各顯神通了。 Kids get their candy. 孩子們拿到糖果 They are ushered out. 他們被迎了出來。 They think it's all over, but it's not. 他們以為一切都結束了,但事實並非如此。 Because out on the porch, the scarecrow pops to life. 因為在門廊上,稻草人突然復活了。 Pow for one final. Pow for one final. And that's Mitchell. 這就是米切爾。 You're the scarecrow. 你是稻草人 Oh, no, no. 哦,不,不 I was in a costume all day. 我整天都穿著戲服。 It was awful. 太可怕了 It's nothing compared to when I was. 和我以前相比,這根本不算什麼。 You don't own bad Halloweens. 糟糕的萬聖節不屬於你。 Don't I? 難道不是嗎? We get it, Cam. 我們明白 卡姆 Hard day. 艱難的一天 Mitchell, please. 請接米切爾 The costume's in the kitchen. 服裝在廚房裡 Come on, hon. 來吧,親愛的 All right, come here. 好了,過來 Before you go, I just want you to know, I love you more. 在你走之前,我只想告訴你,我愛你更深。 That's, OK, thanks, hon. 好的 謝謝 親愛的 You're my best friend. 你是我最好的朋友 You really think it's appropriate to be strapping your teenage daughter to a gurney? 你真的認為把你十幾歲的女兒綁在輪床上合適嗎? If we win, it is. 如果我們贏了,那就是。 I'm going to have to take a pee break soon. 我很快就要去小便了。 Ooh. 哦 Here, use this bedpan. 來,用這個便盆。 I'm kidding. That's gross. 我開玩笑的。太噁心了 I put candy in it. 我在裡面放了糖果。 Here. 給你 Luke. 盧克 Luke! 盧克 I think I fell asleep. 我想我睡著了。 This thing is like a Temple Grandin hug. 這東西就像坦普爾-葛蘭汀的擁抱。 Haley, sweetie, gown's on backwards. 海莉,寶貝,禮服穿反了。 Oh, no, it's cuter this way. 哦,不,這樣更可愛。 Sexy people go crazy, too, you know. 性感的人也會瘋狂,你知道嗎? Read a people magazine. 閱讀人物雜誌 Huh. 咦? Phil, you're not even going to try on your doctor costume? 菲爾,你都不打算試試你的醫生服裝嗎?