Congratulations.

祝賀你

What am I going to do without my bite guard?

沒有護齒器我該怎麼辦？

My teeth don't know where to go.

我的牙齒不知道該往哪裡去。

Well, maybe they should just backpack for a couple of years so they figure it out.

好吧，也許他們應該揹包旅行幾年，這樣他們就會想明白了。

Listen, perfect teeth, this is a nightmare for me.

聽著，完美的牙齒，這對我來說簡直就是噩夢。

The technical term for this is advanced bruxism, and the technical term for you is overly dramatic.

這種情況的專業術語是 "晚期磨牙症"，而你的專業術語是 "過於誇張"。

Yesterday you freaked out because we ran out of toilet paper.

昨天你嚇壞了，因為我們的廁紙用完了。

Just hold it so you get to work like everybody else.

拿著它，你就能像其他人一樣工作了。

Now maybe I sing while others wait.

現在，也許我在唱歌，而其他人在等待。

Uh-oh, we got real problems now.

啊哦，我們現在有真正的問題了。

I choose Susan Boyd a popular song from all clips on internet.

我從網上的所有片段中選擇了蘇珊-博伊德的一首流行歌曲。

It's called I Dream.

它的名字叫《我的夢想》。

Keep dreaming.

繼續做夢

Oh, you're back.

哦，你回來了

We thought you ran away.

我們以為你跑了

Chestnut and I were just about to pick out another human from the shelter.

我和慄慄正準備從收容所再挑選一個人類。

I had quite a day.

我今天過得很愉快。

8 to 10, grind, grind, pain.

8 到 10，磨，磨，痛。

10 to 11, pain, pain, grind.

10 到 11 點，疼痛，疼痛，研磨。

So I went to the drug store and bought an $8 bite guard, which didn't fit my freaky Tim Burton mouth.

於是，我去藥店買了一個 8 美元的護齒器，但它並不適合我這張蒂姆-伯頓的怪嘴。

And when I tried to return it, the cashier Rhonda, whose name tag said she was happy to help but who was neither happy nor helpful, said that I couldn't return it because it had already touched my teeth.

當我想退貨時，收銀員朗達（她的名牌上寫著她很樂意幫忙，但她既不高興也不幫忙）說我不能退貨，因為它已經碰到了我的牙齒。

For someone whose jaw is about to unhinge, you're sure flapping it a lot.

對於一個下巴都快鬆開的人來說，你的下巴肯定拍得很響。

Why is this rag with my father on it here?

為什麼這塊印有我父親的破布會在這裡？

Don't look at me, Chestnut bought it.

別看我，是栗子買的。

He likes it when I read him his daily horse-oscope.

他喜歡我每天給他讀馬經。

Why is everybody so obsessed with the fact that he hasn't said anything?

為什麼大家都對他什麼都沒說這件事如此著迷？

Haven't you ever been at a loss for words?

難道你沒有過不知所措的時候嗎？

Tampons, yes. Words, nah.

衛生棉條，是的。字，不。

Well, this will make me feel better.

好吧，這會讓我感覺好些。

Whenever I'm in pain, I need a treat.

每當我痛苦的時候，我就需要犒勞自己。

You know, whenever you're in pain, that is my treat.

你知道，每當你痛苦的時候，我都會這樣對待你。

Sushi, I hope you like crab roll.

壽司，希望你喜歡蟹肉卷。

I never had sushi.

我從來沒吃過壽司。

That doesn't even make sense.

這根本說不通。

No sushi, no dentist, who are you?

沒有壽司，沒有牙醫，你是誰？

A poor person?

窮人？

Sushi's lazy.

壽司很懶。

If I come to your restaurant, get up off your ass and cook the damn fish.

如果我去你的餐館，你就給我站起來，把那該死的魚煮熟。

I wish we could afford to go to this little sushi place in Tribeca where my father always took me.

我希望我們有能力去翠貝卡的一家小壽司店，我父親總是帶我去那裡。

We had this little joke.

我們開了個小玩笑。

Every time we'd walk in, I'd always say, ああ、すみません。もう少しおどろう。おねがいします。

每次我們走進去，我總是說：ああ、すみません。

And we would just laugh.

我們只是會心一笑。

So you're not funny in Japanese either.

所以你的日語也不好笑。

I got this at a corner deli.

我在街角的熟食店買的。

The cashier was Japanese. She said it was good.

收銀員是日本人。她說味道不錯。

Oh, I'm sure it's great.

哦，我肯定它很棒。

Because the disenfranchised immigrant serving the spoiled white girl would have no reason to lie.

因為被剝奪公民權的移民為被寵壞的白人女孩服務，沒有理由撒謊。

Get ready for something heavenly.

準備好享受天籟之音吧