Perhaps you should begin by examining why you live a life at all.

也許你應該從審視自己為什麼要生活開始。

Shut up, philosophy.

閉嘴，哲學。

Now, can someone give me a real answer?

現在，誰能給我一個真正的答案？

It's the 21st century, dude.

現在是 21 世紀，老兄。

You need to learn how to code.

你需要學習如何編碼。

Can't AI do that now?

人工智能現在不能這樣做了嗎？

Well, who do you think is going to code the AI?

那麼，你認為誰會為人工智能編碼呢？

Probably another AI.

可能是另一個人工智能。

Oh, yeah, you're probably right.

哦，是的，你可能是對的。

I guess, I don't know why I exist.

我想，我不知道自己為什麼會存在。

I want to major in something fun, but there's so many options.

我想主修一些有趣的專業，但選擇太多了。

With me, you can study bugs.

和我在一起，你可以研究蟲子。

Right, a lot of other options besides that one.

沒錯，除了這個，還有很多其他選擇。

If you want something fun and employable, look no further.

如果您想要一些既有趣又能就業的東西，那就別再猶豫了。

Oh, I love astronomy.

哦，我喜歡天文學。

I'm a Sagittarius.

我是射手座。

Have a nice day.

祝您愉快

I should probably pick something that'll set me up for a job.

我也許應該選一些能讓我找到工作的東西。

Well, I can help you.

我可以幫你

Okay, well, joke's on you guys, because my parents are rich.

好吧，玩笑開大了，因為我父母很有錢。

Yeah, okay, he wins.

好吧，他贏了。

I also want to find a major where I can make new friends.

我還想找一個可以結交新朋友的專業。

I got some friends for y'all.

我給你們找了些朋友

118 of them, to be exact.

確切地說，是 118 個。

They're called the Periodic Table of Elements, and they'll always be there for you.

它們被稱作元素週期表，永遠在你身邊。

That sounds miserable.

聽起來真慘。

It is.

就是這樣。

Breaking news, local man is not smart enough for any of these majors.

最新消息，本地人不夠聰明，無法勝任這些專業。

Hey, let me put it this way.

嘿，這麼說吧

You plus me equals some long nights together.

你加我等於共度漫漫長夜。

Okay, but I will admit,

好吧，但我得承認

I am not smart enough to study math.

我不夠聰明，無法學習數學。

Gotcha.

抓到你了

Shut up, journalism.

閉嘴，新聞記者。

Why don't you go get a job at a newspaper?

你為什麼不去報社找份工作？

All right, they're all going out of business.

好吧，他們都要倒閉了。

Why not study the human mind?

為什麼不研究人類的思想呢？

I don't think I'm really into-

我不認為我真的喜歡--

Because your father was demanding and your mother was emotionally unavailable?

因為你的父親要求苛刻，而你的母親在感情上無法得到滿足？

No.

不

Actually, maybe you're right.

事實上，也許你是對的。

I know you better than you know yourself.

我比你更瞭解你自己

Also, you said you were a Sagittarius, so I just went from there.

另外，你說你是射手座，所以我就順著你的話說了。

No!

不

All the world's a stage and all the men and women merely players.

全世界都是舞臺，所有男人和女人都只是演員。

Is that your pitch?

這就是你的推銷嗎？

No, my pitch is that if I don't get enough students this semester, the university's gonna cut me.

不，我的理由是 如果我這學期招不到足夠的學生 學校就會開除我

Oh, no.

哦，不

Good luck with that.

祝你好運。

Thanks.

謝謝。

If you go with me, you probably won't be able to find a job, but at least you'll understand why you are poor.

如果你跟我走，你可能找不到工作，但至少你會明白自己為什麼貧窮。

And if you go with me, you'll understand that the fall of the Roman Empire was a very gradual process that cannot be tied to any specific date or event.

如果你和我一起去，就會明白羅馬帝國的衰落是一個非常漸進的過程，無法與任何特定的日期或事件聯繫起來。

And you'll be poor.

你會變得很窮。

Can someone give me a serious answer?

誰能給我一個嚴肅的答案？

I am getting desperate here.

我都快絕望了。

Why should I just tell you when my art speaks for itself?

我的藝術不言自明，我為什麼要告訴你？

I'm not that desperate.

我沒那麼絕望

You sure?

你確定？

Art feeds the soul.

藝術滋養靈魂

Though ironically, it doesn't seem to feed artists very well.

不過諷刺的是，這似乎並不能很好地養活藝術家。

No, time is almost up.

不，時間快到了。

I'm freaking out.

我嚇壞了。

The stakes are so high in this situation.

在這種情況下，風險是如此之高。

Don't worry.

別擔心

I got you.

我抓住你了

Who are you?

你是誰？

I'm the major for people like you with commitment issues, because really I'm not a major at all.

對於像你這樣有承諾問題的人來說，我就是少校，因為實際上我根本就不是少校。

Okay.

好的

Let's do this.

我們開始吧

Submit!

提交！

Uh-oh.

啊哦

What?

什麼？

It appears I selected the major on the list right above you by accident.

看來我不小心選了你上面那個專業。

Oh, oh crap.

哦，糟糕

What's, what did you pick?

你選了什麼？

Equine studies.

馬匹研究。

Huh?

啊？

Giddy up.

頭暈目眩。

♪ Strangers come to town ♪ ♪ They call him Mr. Frank James ♪

陌生人來到小鎮 他們叫他弗蘭克-詹姆斯先生